《一个叫欧维的男人决定去死》：如何纠正你的坏习惯？
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老桑说
读完今天的文字后，
找出你想要改正的坏习惯，
我们一同来击败它们!
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「 朋友，你好，我是老桑。 」
我们都会与坏习惯作斗争。有些习惯涉及到我们的身体情况，比如暴饮暴食、抽烟和喝酒。其他的坏习惯则更具行为性，比如拖延症和看电视时间过长。另外一些则与精神有关，比如嫉妒和消极的心态。
"坏习惯会打断你的生活，妨碍你完成自己的目标。它们危害你的身心健康，浪费你的时间和精力。出于这些原因，我们都有很强的激励去纠正自己的坏习惯。
"所以，读完今天一文后，找出你想要改正的坏习惯，我们一同来击败它们!
从一个故事说起
Let's start with a story
《一个叫欧维的男人决定去死》（A Man Called Ove）（2012）是瑞典作家弗雷德里克·贝克曼（Fredrik Backman）的畅销小说。
在小说的故事中，欧维·林达尔（Ove Lindahl）是一个脾气不好的男人，他有许多抱怨的对象。他来自一个贫穷的家庭，早年失去了父母。已经怀孕的妻子索尼娅（Sonja）因一场巴士事故而瘫痪，后来死于癌症。而欧维在工作43年后被老板解雇了。
作为一名丧妻之夫，欧维始终保持着非常严格而程序化的生活方式。他每天同一时间在附近巡逻，并强制其他人遵守那些没人在乎的事情，并且对人们愚蠢的行为保持不屑，比如他们驾驶什么样的汽车。他不容忍任何不符合自己标准的人。总的来说，他似乎是一个cranky（脾气暴躁的）强迫症患者。
"小说的英语译本在美国成为了畅销书。2015年瑞典拍摄的电影改编版正式上映。据报道，汤姆·汉克斯(Tom Hanks)现在正在拍摄一部英国版电影。
"尽管欧维决心靠自己生活，但当他的邻居们需要一个人来帮忙时，他们总会想起来找他。欧维总是begrudgingly（不情愿地）帮助他的邻居，不停地抱怨，但他一直这么坚持着，因为他认为自己的妻子会希望他这么做。他甚至还收养了一只流浪猫，因为他记得妻子对小动物情有独钟。
欧维和他收养的流浪猫
随着这些互动的增加，欧维发现自己也需要邻居。他意识到自己的安全感并不来源于自身的孤独，而是通过在服务周边的社区中获得的。当邻居成为他家人般的存在时，欧维得到了更高层次的平静与满足。
然而，为了改变自己，欧维开始改掉那些阻碍他前行的坏习惯。考虑到他在生活中遇到的悲剧，他总是从消极的一面来思考。同时他的主观判断也很顽固，拒绝接纳他人，并要求别人都像他一样：有纪律，讲求秩序，甚至开同样的车。
欧维和邻居
一步一步地，他改正了这些习惯。他以不同于以往的方式来处理思维方式上的固执。他不再假设一切都是消极的，而是在周遭的环境中发现一些积极的东西。他学会了去欣赏人们而不是妄加评判。最后，他通过改掉那些坏习惯，成为了一个崭新的人。
"这本书的一个主题是，人们可以在很长一段时间内保持坏习惯，然后才能意识到问题的存在。作者写道：“人们总是很难承认错误。特别是当一个人在很长一段时间内都处于错误状态的时候。”
"罪魁祸首：无聊与压力
The culprits: boredom and stress
从某些方面来看，坏习惯满足了生活中的一些需要。如果你沉迷于查看你的电子邮件或微信信息，你可能会感到孤独，需要一种联系。如果你很无聊，你可能会考虑赌博或吸烟，试图得到一种短时的乐趣。
压力可能是坏习惯的触发器。很多时候我们不是在处理压力的来由，而是在寻找自我治疗的方法。例如，如果事情不顺利，我们可能会spree（疯狂）买买买，追求“购物疗法”，即使我们购买的商品其实并不需要。有些人可能会试图通过喝酒或毒品来淹没他们的悲伤，或者通过上网来忘却他们的压力。
但请放心，专家们认为通过确立正确的心态和方法，你就可以改掉坏习惯，成为更好的自己。以下是一些推荐的应对策略：
首先，提前想好并在有坏习惯冲动以前找到一些替代的方式。如果你有抽烟的习惯，试着munch（嚼）一些胡萝卜或糖果来代替。如果你花太多时间刷手机，可以在查看社交媒体之前，写下一两句工作的安排。如果你总是花几个小时的时间来看抖音视频，那就在你登录账号之前投入学习当中。
这样，你就（暂时）不会因坏习惯而否定自己，而是通过在此过程中增加一些更健康的活动来调整它。也就是说你控制住了自己的习惯，而不是让习惯控制了你。这是非常有效的途径，你很快就会对自己感觉更好。
你不是在消除一个坏习惯，而是取代它。在欧维的案例中，他以积极的态度取代了消极的心态，继而以宽容之心代替了武断的的评判态度。这告诉我们，不管你现在年龄如何，你总是可以用一个好习惯来代替一个坏习惯，成为一个更好的人。
"如果你想戒烟或喝酒,那就不要去那些吸烟和喝酒的地方。如果你吃了太多的垃圾食品，那就把它扔掉吧。如果你在手机上花了太多的时间，那就把它放在一个很难拿到的地方,这样你就可以专注于其他事情。让自己更容易摆脱坏习惯，避免那些诱因的发生。
尽可能减少诱因。在欧维的故事中，尽管他的妻子去世了，但他仍然把衣服和纪念品放在房子周围来纪念她。他最终还是把它们打包收拾了，通过消除过往的念想来让自己开始享受当下。具有讽刺意味的是，这才是他妻子希望看到的!
"03如果你的坏习惯已持续多年，那就需要一段时间才能改掉它。给自己一些时间和空间去付诸实践。例如，如果你总是因喝咖啡所导致的睡眠问题而感到jittery（紧张），试着一周减少一杯咖啡（甚至半杯）的摄入量，直到达到一个合理的量。然后用茶来代替，最后是花草茶。
水滴石穿，贵在坚持。
”同样，如果你对自己的消极态度已经持续了很多年，那你可能要花些时间才能对自己表达积极的态度。试着一天给自己一句赞美之言，比如：“你是一个很好的朋友。”如果你已经吸烟多年，那就慢慢的减少吸烟的量而不是突然戒烟。这样就能看到自己转变的过程和结果。
欧维起初很不情愿与邻居们产生零星的互动。但他慢慢地从被动转向更积极的互动，在依赖和独立之间找到了平衡，在相互依存中找到了巨大的乐趣。
"当你尝试这些方法时，想想自己已经成功改掉坏习惯的样子。脑海中想想看自己理想的体重，戒烟并以积极的心态生活。逐渐看到自己成为一名胜利者，而不是受害者。这种效果的可视化可以帮助你实现新的自我。
你想要纠正的习惯是什么呢？根据你的个人情况来应用这些方法，并观察自己的进步。
”我的朋友，改掉一个坏习惯是很有挑战性的，特别是如果你很长时间都有这种习惯的话。即使你像欧维一样，有着根深蒂固的生活方式和固执的心态，你仍然可以从自己的桎梏中挣脱出来，充实地生活。如果你能调整周遭的环境，一步一步，想象新的自我，你就可以自由地栖息，享受新的生活。
本文部分图片来源网络。
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英文版
English
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A Man Called Ove:
do you need to break a bad habit?
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「 Hello, my friend！
I'm John Smagula. 」
We all struggle with bad habits. Some habits involve our physical selves, like overeating, smoking, and drinking. Others are more behavioral, like procrastination and watching too much television. And yet others are mental, like jealousy and negativity.
Bad habits interrupt your life and prevent you from accomplishing your goals. They jeopardize your mental and physical health. They also waste your time and energy. For these reasons alone, we all have great incentive to break our bad habits.
"So, for today’s article, pick the habit you’d like to break, and we’ll do some work on it!
Let's start with a story
A Man Called Ove (2012) is a best-selling novel by Swedish author Fredrik Backman. In the story, Ove Lindahl is a 59-year-old curmudgeon who has lots to complain about. He came from a poor family and lost his parents early in life. His wife Sonja became paralyzed in a bus accident when pregnant, and then later died from cancer. Ove also gets laid off from his job of 43 years.
As a widower, Ove maintains a very rigid and routinized life. He patrols the neighborhood at the same time every day and enforces rules nobody else cares about. He maintains grudges against people for silly things, like for what kind of car they drive. He is intolerant of anyone who does not meet his standards. Overall, he just seems to be a bitter and cranky guy with OCD.
The English translation of the novel became a bestseller in the United States. A Swedish movie adaption came out in 2015. Given its popularity, it is reported that Tom Hanks is now filming an English version of the movie.
"Despite Ove’s intent to live on his own, his neighbors constantly pester him when they need a handyman. He begrudgingly helps, complaining all along, but does it because he thinks his wife would have wanted him to. He even adopts a stray cat, remembering his wife had a soft spot for animals.
As these interactions increase, Ove discovers that he needs his neighbors, too. He finds that security doesn't come from being a loner, but rather, by serving the community around him. As his neighbors become his extended family, Ove finds a higher sense of peace and contentment.
To transform himself, though, Ove had to give up some bad habits that were holding him back. He was programmed to think negatively, given the tragedies he encountered in life. He was also very judgmental, refusing to accept people for who they are, and demanding that they should all be just like him: disciplined, organized, and even drive the same kind of car.
Yet step by step, he worked through these habits. He dealt with the discomfort of thinking differently than he had. Rather than assume everything was negative, he started to see some positives in his circumstances. He learned that rather than judge people, he could like them for who they are. In the end, he left the bad habits behind and became a new person.
"One theme of the book is that people can retain bad habits for a long time before realizing there is something wrong. The author writes, “It is difficult to admit one is wrong. Particularly when one has been wrong for a very long time.”
"The culprits:
boredom and stress
In some ways, bad habits fulfill a need in your life. If you are addicted to checking your email or WeChat messages, you may feel lonely and need a sense of connection. If you are bored, you may look to gambling or smoking to try to get a temporary sense of pleasure.
Stress can be a trigger for bad habits. Rather than dealing with the causes of stress, we look for ways to self-medicate. If things aren’t going well at work, for example, we may go on a shopping spree for some “retail therapy,” even if we don’t need the items we buy. Some may try to drown their sorrows by drinking or drugs, or ignore their stresses by surfing the Internet.
But rest assured, experts say with the right mindset and methods, you can kick the bad habit and become a better version of yourself. Here are some strategies to try:
Choose a substitute for your bad habit
To begin, plan ahead and create some substitutes to try when the urge hits. For smoking, try munching on some carrots or candy instead. If you spend too much time on your cell phone, commit to write sentence or two for work before checking social media. If you’re spending hours on end watching videos on Douyin (TikTok), commit to studying before you log in.
In this way, you’re not denying yourself (yet) of the bad behavior, but conditioning it by adding in heathier activities as part of the process. You’re saying that you are in control of your habit, rather than allow the habit control you. It’s incredibly empowering, and you’ll start to feel better about yourself very quickly.
You don’t eliminate a bad habit. You replace it. In Ove’s case, he replaced his negative thinking with positive, and then his judgmental attitude with tolerance. The lesson is, no matter how old you are, you can always replace a bad habit with a good one—and become a better person as a result.
"Adjust your environment
If you want to quit smoking or drinking, then don’t go to places where people smoke and drink. If you eat too much junk food, then throw it all away. If you spend too much time on your phone, place it somewhere that’s hard to reach for part of the day so you can focus on other things. Make it easier on yourself to break bad habits by avoiding the things that cause them.
"Cut as many triggers as possible. In Ove’s case, even though his wife had died, he still kept her clothes and other mementos around the house to remember her. He eventually packed them away, diminishing the reminders of the past to enable him to start enjoying the present. Ironically, that’s what his wife would have wanted for him anyway!
"03Go slow and make tiny changes
If you have spent many years acquiring a bad habit, it could take some time to give it up. Give yourself the time and space to do so. For example, if you are always jittery from drinking coffee and have problems sleeping, try reducing your coffee intake by one cup (or even a half cup) a week until you get to a reasonable amount. Then substitute tea, and then ultimately herbal tea.
Constant dripping wears away a stone. Persevere.
”Likewise, if have spoken negatively to yourself for many years, it could take time to say positive things to yourself. Try giving yourself a compliment a day, like, “You’re a good friend to others.” If you have smoked for many years, gradually reduce rather than quit cold turkey. See your transformation as a process as well as a result.
"Ove at first reluctantly interacted with his neighbors on a sporadic basis. But he slowly went from passive to more active interaction, striking a balance between being dependent and independent. He found great joy in becoming interdependent.
"As you try these methods, visualize yourself succeeding. In your mind’s eye, try to see yourself at your ideal weight, smoke-free, or living with a positive mindset. See yourself becoming a victor, and not a victim. This visualization can help you achieve your new identity.
Which habit are you trying to break? Apply the methods above to your personal circumstances and watch your progress.
”My friend, breaking a bad habit can be challenging, especially if you have had it for a long time. Even if you’re like Ove, with entrenched ways and a fixed mindset, you can still break out of your shell and live life to the fullest. If you choose substitute habit, adjust your environment, go step by step, and visualize your new self, you’ll see you can break free and lead a new life.
{ 今日英文速记卡 }
1.Cranky \ ˈkraŋ-kē \
a)含义：adj. 暴躁的；古怪的
b)例句：
i.Overall, he just seems to be a bitter and cranky guy with OCD.
总的来说，他似乎只是一个脾气暴躁的强迫症患者。
ii.I want to stay awake, but I am now cranky.
我想保持清醒但是现在我不知所措。
c)近义词： crabby, grumpy, snarky
2.Begrudging
\ bi-ˈgrə-jiŋ \
a)含义： adj. 勉强的；吝啬的
b)例句：
i.He begrudgingly helps, complaining all along, but does it because he thinks his wife would have wanted him to.
欧维总是不情愿地帮助他的邻居，不停地抱怨，但他一直这么坚持着，因为他认为自己的妻子会希望他这么做。
ii.I always urged my young sister to travel instead of working part-time. But she is always begrudging that I have a full-time job and can financially support myself.
拿我来说，每每唠叨我妹妹，希望她多去旅行，不要一味去兼职赚钱。但是她总是说羡慕我经济独立。
c)近义词： reluctant, unenthusiastic, unwilling
3.Spree \ ˈsprē \
a)含义：n. 狂欢
b)例句：
i.If things aren’t going well at work, for example, we may go on a shopping spree for some “retail therapy,” even if we don’t need the items we buy.
例如,如果事情不顺利，我们可能会疯狂买买买，追求“购物疗法”，即使我们不需要我们购买的商品。
ii.In Italy, people often have a spree on New Year's Eve.
在意大利，人们经常会度过一个狂欢的新年前夕。
c)近义词： binge, fling, frolic
4.Munch \ ˈmənch \
a)含义：v. 用力咀嚼
b)例句：
i.For smoking, try munching on some carrots or candy instead.
如果你有抽烟的习惯，试着嚼一些胡萝卜或糖果来代替。
ii.We watched her munch through two packets of peanuts.
我们看著她津津有味地嚼完了两包花生米。
c)近义词： down, nosh, snack
5.Jittery \ ˈji-tə-rē \
a)含义：adj. 神经过敏的；紧张不安的
b)例句：
i.For example, if you are always jittery from drinking coffee and have problems sleeping, try reducing your coffee intake by one cup (or even a half cup) a week until you get to a reasonable amount.
例如，如果你总是因喝咖啡所导致的睡眠问题而感到紧张，试着一周减少一杯咖啡（甚至半杯）的摄入量，直到达到一个合理的量。
ii.It was probably the tension that made him jittery.
可能是紧张的局面让他感到焦虑。
c)近义词： excitable, jumpy, nervous
Thank you for watching me to inspire, encourage, and accompany you.
See you next time.
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