SNL爆笑恶搞特朗普私人律师朱利安尼，听证会上不停放屁，还甩锅给周围的人…（附视频&解说稿）
近日，美国，特朗普私人律师朱利安尼赴密歇根州众议院听证会，正当他慷慨陈词之时，突然传来一声放屁的“异响”，身旁一同出席的特朗普顾问珍娜·埃利斯下意识扭头看了他一眼，只见朱利安尼依然面不改色继续讲下去。
而一向以模仿和恶搞出名的SNL出了一期恶搞这位美国网红律师的听证会视频，段子和笑声起飞，“朱利安尼”的扮演者（Kate McKinnon）表情简直太好笑了……
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>> you're watching c-span. which is honestly surprising. up next, the michigan state senate hears special testimony regarding allegations of fraud in the 2020 presidential elections.
>> i hereby call this hearing of the senate oversight committee to order. it is my honor and also one of the great horrors of my life to welcome president trump's personal attorney rudy giuliani.
>> thank you, your honor. it's great to be in a courtroom where i'm not the defendant.
>> this isn't a courtroom.
>> honestly i'm just happy to be indoors. now, as my associate miss ellis and i will prove today, this election was stolen from the american people with a level of trickery not seen since houdini. [ farting ] that wasn't me, that was you guys. but president trump and i are going to overturn these illegal votes. first in michigan, then in georgylvania, and then in pennsachusettes, and then in north dacanada.
>> but isn't it true that all your lawsuits have been rejected because they're base on zero actual evidence?
>> you want evidence? okay, well today i have brought before you highly intelligent barely intoxicated individuals who are all eyewitnesss. after hearing their testimony going to be like, wow, rudy is right and getting smarter every day. [ farting ] that was her.
>> mr. giuliani -- oh, god, it's hitting us here. you may call your first witness.
>> all right, i'd like to present someone who worked directly with dominion voting systems, miss melissa carone.
>> thank you. i swear to tell my whole story and nothing but my story, so help me gob.
>> please tell us what exactly you witnessed with the dominion machines.
>> excuse me, maybe try losing the attitude first, just like you lost all those trump ballots.
>> i don't handle ballots.
>> yeah, exactly. you wouldn't know, would you?
>> please just talk.
>> you're going to regret saying that, because i personally saw hundreds, if not thousands, of dead people vote.
>> you saw them?
>> yeah, basically, yes, i remember because i was walking out and they were walking in. and then they gave their votes to democrats, and then you probably did something crazy with them, didn't you?
>> i don't handle ballots, and i'm a republican.
>> then you're literally useless. you have no use. did you check every pulse? did you talk to all the dead people?
>> we're state senators.
>> excuse me. i have been threatened. my kids have been threatened. my kids have threatened me, and i threatened them right back.
>> i'm sorry, but this testimony is full of lies.
>> i'm not lying. i signed an after david.
>> an after david?
>> yeah, that's correct. david signed, and then i signed right after david.
>> okay, miss malone, we're going to ask you to leave now.
>> you're just lucky i need another drink.
>> mr. giuliani, you may call your next witness.
>> uh, yes. my next witness needs no introduction, or at least i hope she doesn't because i lost the paper with all her information on it. honey, you want to get in here? come on.
>> good evening, your honor.
>> i'm not a judge, and it's 11:00 a.m. why exactly are you here today?
>> well, your honor, i'm not proud of this, but i needed to come forward anyhow. you see, i ate ballots.
>> i'm sorry, you ate them?
>> that's right. i didn't mean to, but the democrats pulled up a food truck and said it's lunchtime. they opened the truck and it was full, full of ballot sandwiches, ballot pizzas, ballot steaks and ballot spaghettis.
>> what is a ballot spaghetti?
>> it's a ballot that goes like this.
>> all right, thank you. can we have the next witness please?
>> i will provide witness. hi, i'm mike lindell, inventor of my pillow. do you know a demo-rat can hide over a million fake ballots in a my pillow and still get a great night's sleep? refreshed and ready to steal an election, thanks to my pillow.
>> mr. lindell, is this a commercial for my pillow?
>> i would like it to be, yes.
>> okay. keep this moving, please.
>> are we just going let any random person come in here and start talking?
>> excuse me. we are all here other under oaf. and if you want to talk about random, i voted for trump yet biden won. hmm. maybe a little too random. you aren't even going admit that dominion cheated.
>> how exactly did dominion cheat?
>> well, for starters they cheated me out of my cheesy bread.
>> i think you're confusing dominion with dominos.
>> either way, my vote took longer than 30 minutes so it's supposed to be free.
>> maybe you want to pull it back a little. i'm worried you're making us look foolish. [ farting ] nancy.
>> mr. giuliani, your next witness?
>> my next witness is extraordinary, and i mean that in a mean way. fred, go nuts.
>> thanks. thank you. now, what had happened was i was sitting in my backyard when all of a sudden there was a silver ship hovered above me, and a warm light beamed me above the spacecraft.
>> i'm sorry, is this an alien abduction story?
>> please, sir, let me finish. yes, it was aliens, but the shocking part was this -- i saw them clearly filling out absentee ballots. all of them for biden!
>> and when exactly did this happen?
>> about seven years ago.
>> all right, mr. giuliani, do you have any witnesses that have testimony based in reality?
>> yes, i do. the defense calls nicole kidman's character from "the undoing."
>> your honor, my husband hugh grant is innocent. there's no way he could have been that murderer. he's too hot and white.
>> and i'm sorry, where is your accent supposed to be from?
>> it's from the upper east side of australia. crikey, it's zabar's.
>> i'm sorry, but do we have to keep listening to these people?
>> yeah, exactly, because we have to listen to our hearts and our minds. and even though it's a fraudulent erection, it can still get you pregnant.
>> this chick is really on to something here.
>> could everyone please stop drinking during the hearing?
>> i would love to, but if i don't drink a scotch every 15 minutes, i explode.
>> and this is not drinking, it's actually the covid vaccine. i'm taking it first because i'm a risk. i have two big old comorbdatitties.
>> we're calling this.
>> we have to do this whole thing over again!
>> you think we can just redo the election?
>> new york we're talking about kidnapping the governor.
>> yeah, if we have one more shot we can get her to our basement for sure!
>> out of curiosity, then what?
>> we get back to work.
>> what are your current jobs?
>> i retear things that are broken.
>> and i'm curious about fossils.
>> you are both dismissed. mr. giuliani, is any of this really appropriate?
>> sorry, what? i blacked out for a second, sir.
>> just wrap it up.
>> in conclusion, i would say the defense rests, but we will never rest, not until this election is overturned or i get $10 million in cash. and if you like what you saw and if you like what you saw here today we're having a press conference right after this at the ritz carlton plumbing and heating supply company right off i-94 between a dirty movie theater and a crematorium. that's not only allowed, they're required.
>> thank you, mr. giuliani.
>> oh, thank you.
>> and live from new york
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-"Saturday Night Live" was back December 5th, and a month after the final ballots were cast, it was still focused on the election. The cold open took place at a Michigan hearing about alleged election fraud. State Representative Matt Hall, played by Mikey Day, spoke first.
-It is my honor and also one of the great horrors of my life to welcome President Trump's personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani.
-Cast member Kate McKinnon returned as President Trump's personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani.
-This election was stolen from the American people with a level of trickery not scene since Houdini.
-Who, without evidence, claimed that tens of thousands of votes had been counted twice. Star witness Melissa Carone was played by Cecily Strong.
-I'm sorry, but this testimony is full of lies.
-Ha! I'm not lying. I signed an "afterdavid."
-An "afterdavid"?
-Yeah, that's correct. David signed, and then I signed right after David.
-Carone previously went viral for her loud, baseless testimony.
-I know what I saw, and I signed something saying that if I'm wrong, I can go to prison. Did you?
-Other witnesses included a woman who claimed she ate ballots served from a food truck.
-The Demo-crats pulled up a food truck and said, "It's lunchtime." And they opened the truck, and it was full, full of ballot sandwiches, ballot pizzas, ballot steaks, and ballot spaghettis.
-What is a ballot spaghetti?
-It's a ballot that a-talk like this!
-And the "My Pillow" guy, a proven Trump ally and supporter, who has been vocal about Trump remaining in office.
-Do you know a "Demorat" can hide over a million fake ballots in a My Pillow and still get a great night's sleep?
-This is a big story, the biggest story in world history, for the biggest corruption in world history, the biggest ever. How deep it runs is just- it's just amazing. It's like rigging a game, the biggest game ever.
-An unexpected witness was the last of the motley crew to take the stand, Nicole Kidman's character from HBO's "The Undoing," played by cast member Chloe Fineman. She defended her husband, played by Hugh Grant, who is accused of murder.
-That's not why he could have been that murderer. He's too hot and white.
-As the hearing was called to a close, two protestors emerged, claiming they wanted a do
-over, not of the election but of the plan to attempt to kidnap Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer, a callback to an FBI -foiled plot in October 2020.
-If we have one more shot, we can get her in my basement, for sure!
-Yeah!
-And out of curiosity, then what?
-We'd yell at her!
-Yeah!
-"Weekend Update" co-anchor Colin Jost joked about Trump's claims of fraud swirling around the 2020 election, vowing to believe anything Trump says, as long as he packs his bags on inauguration day.
-I will believe anything, that there were suitcases of hidden ballots. I'll believe that the votes were counted illegally in Spain, or, this is a real theory, that North Koreans in ships dropped off ballots in Maine, 'cause, you know, it's easier for North Koreans to get to the East Coast. Whatever you want us to believe, sir, I'm in, okay? I see you. You is smart. You is kind. You is important. But you is need to go.
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