【TED】迷茫的时候，如何重置自己的人生？

大家好

Hi, everyone.

我是菲丽西娅 屏幕上介绍了

I’m Felicia, that says there.

这真是太令人激动了

This is really exciting.

我实际上在耶鲁的时候上过张教授的课

I actually took professor Chun’s class when I was at Yale.

他很了不起 我很高兴来到这里

He is awesome. So, it’s honored to be here.

过去的三年里 我的生活发生了翻天覆地的变化

The past three years of my life have been a whirlwind.

我搬了三次家 写了两本书

I moved three times, I wrote two books,

其中一本出版了 实际上我还开创了自己的事业

I published one of them, and I actually started my own business.

三年前 我的生活与现在大不相同

Three years ago, my life looked incredibly different.

我住在纽约 当一个全职演员

I was living in New York City, and I was working full time as an actor.

我有一个经纪人 我是演员工会的一员

I had an agent, I was a member of the Actors Union,

我刚刚在一个史上最盛大的音乐剧里成功出演

and I have just come off being in one of the biggest musicals of all time,

即“女巫传奇”

which was “Wicked.”

你们有谁看过这个音乐剧吗？（鼓掌）对！

Any of you have seen Wicked? (Applause) Yeap!

所以它真的是一个影响很大的音乐剧

So, it’s a really big musical.

表面上一切都进展得很好

And on the outside, you know,everything was going great.

如果我一直沿着这个方向发展 或许我能在剧院大有作为

If I kept going in this direction, maybe I could do a lot in theater.

这一切看起来都是顺理成章的

And sort of all seemed to be pointing in that one direction.

但是我的内心却充满疑惑和强烈的恐惧

But on the inside, I was wracked with doubt, and I was incredibly scared.

原因是

The reason being, you know,

我曾经认为戏剧和表演是我的终生理想

theater and acting was what I have thought to be my life dream.

我在两岁时第一次看百老汇的演出

Ever since I was two, I went to see my first Broadway show,

“歌剧魅影” 为这部剧鼓掌

which was “The phantom of the opera”; claps for “The phantom of the opera.”

（鼓掌）不知道为什么

(Applause) I don’t know why.

我特别痴迷于戏剧 我去戏剧训练营

I was obsessed with theater. I went to theater camp.

我父母会听到我在洗澡的时候唱歌

I would sing in the shower, my parents heard me…you know

我会一直唱那些电影原声 我真的是沉迷其中

I would sing soundtracks all the time, so I was obsessed.

上了大学后 即使我确实有很多兴趣爱好

And then, in college, even though I did have a lot of interest,

实际上我主修英语

and I actually majored in English,

我决定在我毕业后我要去完成我的戏剧梦

I decided, when I graduated, that I had to go for it,

我决意要追求戏剧事业 否则我将遗憾终身

I had to go for the theater because if I didn’t, I would regret it.

所以 我这样做了

So, I did.

早期我因“女巫前传”获得相对的成功

And the relative success I had early on with “Wicked”

那对我而言感觉复杂

was very complicated for me.

一方面因为它不可思议

Because on one hand, you know, it was amazing.

它简直实现了我的终生理想

It was the fulfillment of literally a lifelong dream.

但是另一方面

But on the other hand,

它让我很快地意识到

it made me see pretty quickly

我曾经以为的的终生理想

that what I have thought was my lifelong dream

可能并不真的是我余生都想去做的事

might not actually be what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

当我研究这样的经历时

When I was researching this experience,

我觉得这就像生命的一个脚注 对吗

I thought this is like a footnote in life, right?

所以 你往往始于一处 终于另一处

So, you start one place and you end up another,

但是其间的过程我们却不得而知

but what we don’t know is talk about that process.

我想重新进入那种状态

And I wanted to get in the mindset of what that felt like

因为我是个演员 我想感知各种情感

because I am an actor, and I wanted to access those emotions.

我拿出当时我写的一堆电子邮件

I pulled up a bunch of the emails I’ve been writing at that time,

找到了那封在我做了决定后写给我经纪人的信

I found the one I wrote to my agent when I finally had made the decision

上面是这样说的：

and said something like:

“你好 大卫 请取消我的所有试镜 我想要放个长假

“Hi David, please cancel all my auditions. I need to take a long break from acting.

我不知道这会不会是我永远地告别戏剧

I don’t know whether or not this will be permanent.

我很抱歉 但我的心现在已经不在戏剧上面了

I’m sorry, but my heart is not in the business.

它并没有像我所期待的那样满足我

And it doesn’t fulfill me in the way I thought it would.

请你明白这并不是我一时冲动

Please know that it is not impulsive but comes after many months

而是在数月思考我的人生要做什么后的决定

of trying to figure out what to do with my life.

抱歉耽误了你的时间 但是这是我的真心话”

Sorry if I wasted your time, but this is my truth.”

所以 （吐气）即使现在谈起这件事

So, phew!, even in saying it back now,

我还是能感受到那种如释重负的感觉

I kind of like, relieve the feelings of being there.

那可真是糟糕 对吧

And it’s a horrible place, right?

不知道人生将要干什么

To not know what you’re going to be doing with your life.

那个可怕的事 我的朋友 是今天我要和你们谈的

And that horrible thing, my friends, is what I want to talk to you about today.

也就是如何调整方向

And that is the process of revision.

所以 今天这个演讲的正式题目应该是

So, the official title of this talk is:

人生没有提纲 不断修正方向 创造你的现实

“There is no final draft: keep revising your life to create your reality.”

可能你们有些人能体会我刚描述的

So, maybe some of you can relate to what I have just described

朝一个方向前进

that feeling of going in one direction

或努力去找到下一个目的地的感觉？

or maybe trying to figure out where to go next?

也许你们中的有些人足够幸运

Or maybe some of you are lucky enough to never have been confronted

从来没有迷惑的时刻

by those feelings of doubt yet.

为了让大家更好地理解

But, just so we are all on the same page,

我想进一步诠释修正的意义

I want to delve into what I mean by revision.

当我想到修正时 我首先想到的事

So, the first thing that I think of when I think of revision

我想通过这个幻灯片来说明

I try to make clear by this visual aid,

这也是提交报告或论文给老师的程序

which is the process of submitting a paper or an essay

我知道 我们都能联想到那个

to a teacher and I know we can all relate to that,

然后拿回论文 看到上面全是讨厌的红色墨水

and getting it back and then seeing all the nasty red ink on the page,

以及很多叉 下划线 问号

and Xs, and underlines, and the question marks…

最糟糕的就像是

And it’s just like the worst feeling

你以为你已经干完了某件事

to think that you’re completely done with something,

然后再看一下页边空白写着

but then to read the margins that say,

不全面 更深入些 重新思考

“Not quite,” or “Go deeper,” or “Think again.”

这种经历是我谈论的更大层面问题的缩影

So, this experience is a microcosm of what I’m talking about on a grander-scale

那就是生活修正

which is a life revision.

我想用那个例子来说明我的意思

So, I wanted to define what I meant by that.

这种情况下的修正意味着

And a revision in this case means

任何长远看来意义深远地改变了你日常生活的改变

any change that meaningfully alters your day-to-day life in the long term,

对吗？

right?

所以 修正的可能是一些计划好的事

So, a revision can be something that is planned

在停下表演事业的例子里

– in the case of taking a break from acting,

我考虑了数月 或者可以是计划外的

I thought about it for many months – or can be unplanned.

生活向你打出很多变化曲球

Life sends you so many curve balls,

很多时候 修正生活可以是一种回应

and a lot of times, a revision can be a reaction to that.

可以从不同角度修正

Revision can also be at varying degrees.

可以是180°的转变 那很彻底

It can be a 180 degree change; that’s very drastic,

但是我不是说必须要重新开始

but I’m not necessarily talking about starting over

或是完全推翻你的生活

or completely leveling your life.

可以有不同的角度 可以微调或者重新聚焦目标

There can be varying degrees. There can be a recalibration or a refocusing.

那是我指的修正的意思

So, that’s what I mean by revision.

当我考虑做这个演讲的时候

And then when I was thinking about giving this talk,

我知道这个主题对我意义重大 但随后我想

I knew that this topic meant a lot to me, but then I thought to myself:

好吧 我要像修正专家一样对每个人演讲吗？

“OK, so I am talking to everybody as like this expert in revision?”

答案当然不是

and the answer is, “Absolutely not.”

我不是作为一个专家对你讲话 相反我意识到

I’m not speaking to you as an expert, but I realized that I’m speaking to you

我是作为一个修正倡导者或者修正执行者对你讲话

as a revision advocate or a revision agent.

希望 我的目标是鼓励你

And, hopefully, my goal is to encourage you and empower you

使你有勇气拥抱变化的过程

to be able to embrace this process of change

而不是被它吓坏

as opposed to be totally freaked out by it.

那是我的本意 为了达到那个目标

So, that’s where I am coming from and in order to do that,

我想我会给你们修正的三大建议

I figured out I would give you my top three tips for making a revision.

事实上那是我的照片

And that’s actually a photo of me

因为它不需要版权费 所以我放了自己的照片

because it was royalty free, so I put that photo of me right there…

（笑声）好吧

(Laughter) OK.

我对于修正生活的三大建议

So, my top three tips for making a revision.

第一条是必须忽略概率

The first has to do with ignoring the odds.

那就是说

And that is,

如果你有创新精神 概率永远不会对你有利

if you are innovative, the odds would never be in your favor.

尤其我是搞艺术的

My path in particular has led me to the arts.

我曾经一直沉迷戏剧 现在是写作

I’ve always been really into theater, and now, writing.

真有人靠这些事情来谋生的可能性和数据

The chances and the statistics of someone actually making a living doing these things

是很吓人的

were horrible.

所以我得习惯忽略概率

So, I had to get used to ignoring the odds,

完全忽略

and completely drowning out

人们告诉我这看起来对我的生活有没有一个美好前景的声音

the sound of people telling me whether or not this looks like a good prospect for my life.

同样地 如果你考虑改变方向

And similarly, if you’re contemplating a change of direction,

改用非传统或创新的做事方式

a change in gear that is unorthodox or innovative,

这同样完全适合你

the same is going to be absolutely true for you.

你显然违反了概率

You are by definition going against the odds.

我要说的是考虑数据无关紧要

So, my point is that it’s a sort of an irrelevant data point to think about:

“好吧 让我查阅下关于这个的统计数据”

“Well, you know, let me consult the statistics on this.”

事实是最关心你的人

And the thing is that people who care about you the most

会告诉你

are going to be the ones who are telling you

他们希望你走一条更安稳的人生道路

that they’re going to want a more secure life path for you,

所以他们会给你指出这些

so they are going to point these things out to you,

但我鼓励你真正听从你的内心

but I would encourage you to really listen to your gut;

当你真正考虑下一步怎么走的时候 就忽略概率

and when you really consider what step to take next, to just ignore the odds.

因为如果你不走寻常路

Because if you go against the grain,

你当然不会是大多数

you’ll be going against the odds by definition.

那是我的第一条建议

That’s my first tip.

我的第二条建议是修正是可怕而有压力的

My second tip is that revisions can be terrifying and stressful,

你将会崩溃

and you will freak out.

我想出一些视觉幽默给你们（笑声）好了

I thought of a little visual humor for you. (Laughter) OK.

我主要想告诉大家拥抱恐惧

So, basically I want to tell you guys to embrace the fear aspect.

我感觉这部分可能有一百个TED演讲

And I feel like that this part could lead to 100 TED talks,

关于当你经历任何生活修正时的恐惧部分

the aspect of fear when you are going through any life revision.

但我不想提这个 因为我感觉好像

But I didn’t want to bring this up because I feel like

这是普遍的体验 差不多很明显 对吧？

it’s such an universal experience and it’s almost so obvious, right?

改变让人害怕

That change is scary.

但当我最初写这篇演讲稿时 我没想提这一点

But when I was at first writing the speech, I didn’t think to mention it.

因为我们倾向于看起来光鲜体面 并对一个问题侃侃而谈

Because we have a tendency when we’re being, like, polished and talking about a topic

我想学术一点 我当时心想“我不能谈论它有多可怕”

and I want to be academic about it, like: “I can’t talk about how scary it was.”

事实上 做出重大改变难以置信的可怕

When in actuality it was incredibly scary, making this huge change.

你会想我一直在舞台上并且我热爱表演

You would think that since I’ve been on stage and I like acting,

我有钢铁般的意志 但那完全不可靠

that I have these nerves of steel; but that’s absolutely not true.

我现在非常紧张

I’m very nervous right now.

我生活中遇到过各种焦虑

I’ve encountered a lot of anxiety in my life,

尤其涉及到大的修正时

and particularly involving huge revision.

我想指出每个人都会害怕

So, I just want to put that out there that everybody freaks out,

你会 我会 我们都会

you freak out, I freak out, we all freak out.

最成功的人也一样

The most successful people do;

但这个问题却没有得到关注

but it’s not something that’s really talked about.

有很多资源能帮助你

There are a bunch of resources out there that can help you

如果你现在或者将来要经历一段可怕的时期

if you are currently going through a scary time or if you do in the future.

我确实希望你给我写邮件 这是邮箱地址

I actually want to invite you to email me, [e-mail].

我有很多资源

I have a bunch of resources

帮助我疏导我的焦虑和恐惧

that have helped me to channel my anxiety and my fear.

我很高兴把那些分享给你们 所以我想把邮箱放出来

And I’d be happy to share those with you, so, I want to put that out there.

最后一条给你们的建议很可能是最重要的

So, my final tip for you is probably the most important tip.

那就是你不能靠想做决定

And it is that you can’t decide by thinking,

你只能靠做来决定

you can only decide by doing.

这是个真的很讨厌的事实

And this one is a really annoying truth

因为如果你像我 你喜欢把事情想明白

because if you’re like me, you like to think things through,

你想分析每种可能的结果 那很好

you just want to analyze every possible outcome, and that’s great.

研究你想对生活做些什么

Researching what you want to do with your life

或者你想去哪儿是很有价值的

or where you want to go is very valuable.

做利弊分析图表 我也做过那个

Making pro and cons charts. I did that as well.

但事实是 当真要做决定的时候

But the fact is, when it actually comes to making a decision,

你永远不会知道事情的结果

you’re never going to know how it’s going to turn out

直到你真去做那件事 直到你真的坚持做到底

until you actually do that thing, till you actually follow through.

那是真的 我有两个例子

And that’s just true. I have two examples of this.

第一个是当我写我的第一本书时

And one is when I wrote my first book.

我很想确保

I really wanted to make sure

在写这本书之前我会很擅长写作

that I would be really good at writing a book before I wrote the book.

所以我阅读了所有关于写书的书 我读了怎样写书

So, I read all these books on books. And I read, you know, how to write books.

但直到我真正坐下来 写那本该死的书

But it wasn’t until I actually sat down and I wrote the damn book

我才意识到我可以写

that I realized that I could do this.

这真正适合我 但是在写作中发现的

This is actually something that fit me. but it was in the doing.

另一方面

On the flip side,

在我写完我第一本非虚构的书之后

after I wrote my first book which was actually a non-fiction book,

我想：“好吧 我下一个目标是写一个青少年小说”

I thought to myself: “OK, my next goal is I want to write a young adult novel.”

同样地 我读了很多关于青少年小说的书

So, a similar thing. I read books on young adult novels,

我读青年小说 我看过暮光之城

I read young adult novels, I watched the Twilight series.

（笑声）

(Laughter)

两遍 不 只看了一遍

Twice, no, just once.

于是 我心想：“你努力去构思清楚”

And so, you know, I was like: “You try to think it through.”

直到八个月后 我写了二十万字

And then it wasn’t till I took about eight months, and I wrote 200,000 words

我才意识到我实际上很讨厌青少年小说

that I realized that I actually hate young adult novels.

（笑声）

(Laughter)

不 我不讨厌所有的青少年小说

No, I don’t hate all the young adult novels,

但就我亲身体验 作为作家我不适合写这种小说

but me, personally, it was not the right fit for me as a writer,

直到我真正写了我才知道

and I didn’t know till I actually did it.

我认为

So, this is, I think, where you combine

当你拥抱恐惧 忽略几率

the embracing of the fear and ignoring the odds;

其实就是把那些都抛在身后 真正去做

is just putting that all behind you, and actually doing it.

我是说 听起来简单 但有个过程

I mean, it sounds simple, but it’s a process.

我希望

And it’s one that I hope

我能启发你们 鼓励你们去做

I can demystify for you all, and encourage you to do.

这是我的最后一页幻灯片 往前走然后修正

So, this is my final slide: “Go forth and revise!”

现在 我住在宾夕法尼亚州 花很多时间写作

Today, I live in Pennsylvania, and I spend a lot of my time writing.

我教发声课 经营自己的公司

I teach voice lessons, I run my own company,

我帮未婚夫经营他的公司

I help my fiancé run his company; I do a lot of stuff.

它目前很适合我 所以这是一个不断修正的过程

And it suits me for now. So, it’s an ongoing process of revision.

但它是生活的关键要素

But it’s such a crucial element of life.

我只是想你们都勇敢前行

I just want you all to go boldly forth,

为你们自己 也为世界创造积极的改变

and create positive change for yourself and also for the world.

这很难 但我认为我们能做到 朋友们

It’s a tall order, but I think we can do it, my friends.

谢谢你们听我演讲

Thank you so much for having me.

（掌声）

(Applause)

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经典回顾

Treasure Hunt

《小猪佩奇》第一季第24集