中英双语美文55：为什么你会单身

The Romantic

浪漫少女

You’ve watched every rom com out there and are looking for a soulmates-kind-of-love. Settling is definitely not your thing.

市面上的浪漫爱情片你全都看过，你想要的恋人是一个和你心有灵犀的灵魂伴侣。你是绝对不会将就的。

You’ll know you’ve found THE guy because he’ll shower you with love, affection and gifts while whispering poetry in your ear at a dinner he organized next to a waterfall as a band he hired plays your favorite songs beneath the setting sun. It will be beautiful.

你希望你的另一半能用他的爱和礼物淹没你，他会在夕阳下的瀑布旁为你准备一桌晚餐，轻声在你耳边为你念诵情诗，还会让乐队在旁边演奏你最喜欢的歌曲。一切都美妙无比。

If you’re her, remember: There’s nothing wrong with holding out for your soulmate or expecting your guy to be a romantic but be reasonable.

如果你是这样的女生，请记住：想找一个灵魂伴侣或者一个浪漫的恋人并没有什么错，但还是实际一点好。

The Cynic

怀疑论者

You’re not a fool. When you meet a guy, you don’t fall hard and fast — you actually assume he’s an jerk from the beginning and make him prove he’s not — you’ve had your heart broken a few times and, you will not let it happen again.

你并不是傻。但是当你遇见一个男孩子的时候，你从来不会有立马坠入爱河的感觉。你一开始总是先认定他们都是混蛋，然后让他们证明自己不是。你的心已经伤过好几次了，你不允许有谁再伤它一次。

If you’re her, remember: We’re all for making a guy prove he’s worthy before letting him in but being too careful/scared can make you seem closed and limit your opportunities.

如果你是这样的女生，请记住：我们都希望男生能证明自己配得上我们，但如果你总是变现得过于小心翼翼、甚至畏畏缩缩，那你实际上是在自我封闭，这会极大地限制你选择的余地。

Be open, hope for the best, and take chances.

还是放开一点比较好，做最好的打算，给自己创造些机会。

The Picky Bitch

矜持的碧池

You are the bomb so, of course, it takes an extraordinary man to capture your attention. If he doesn’t check all the boxes on your ever-growing list, you can’t be bothered.

你的战斗力很高，所以一般的男人是入不了你的法眼的。你的择偶标准一直在变高，而如果一个男人不能满足你现在的所有要求，你连看都不想看他一眼。

Your friends say you’re being too selective but you disagree — you just have standards. You know what you want and you’re going to wait until he comes along.

你的朋友都说你太挑了，但你并不这么想，你只是有底线而已。你知道自己想要什么，而且你愿意等着那个真正对的人到来。

If you’re her, remember: Love is an adventure — it’s unpredictable — so there’s a huge chance that the person who knocks your socks off won’t be anything like what you imagined. Toss that list and take every guy on a case-by-case basis.

如果你是这样的女生，请记住：恋爱是一场冒险，它是无法预测的，所以那个让你心动的人很可能并不完全是你想象中的样子。先把你那一长串择偶标准搁在一边吧，对于每个男生都应该具体问题具体分析。

If you don’t, you could miss out on some amazing experiences, lessons and the guy of your dreams.

如果你不这么做的话，你可能会错过很多美妙的人生体验，你学到的东西也会更少，更不用谈遇上自己的梦中情人了。

The Serial Dater.

约会狂

It’s not that hard to find a guy. Maybe not for you because, well, you like everyone.

找个男朋友并不难。可能至少对你来说不难，毕竟你几乎对所有人都有点好感。

That guy who’s totally boring? At least he has a good job. That guy who’s not smart at all? At least he’s fun.

这个男生挺无聊的，但他工作不错。那个男生好像不怎么聪明，但他挺有意思。

Your friends think it’s weird that you don’t have a type and accuse you of not having standards but you don’t care — as far as you’re concerned, they’re just jealous because you’re always with someone.

你的朋友觉得你这样很奇怪，他们觉得你的要求太低了，但你并不在乎；在你看来，她们只是嫉妒你而已，因为你身边总有人跟着。

If you’re her, remember: Being open is great but being so open that you’re always taken isn’t healthy. It’s important to take some time for yourself in between relationships to reflect on what you need and really want — we bet you’ll suddenly become more picky.

如果你是这样的女生，请记住：心态开放是挺不错，但太开放也不好。在两段恋情之间还是给自己留点时间比较好，你需要用这段时间来想想自己到底需要什么、想要什么。然后总有那么一天，你会发现自己变成一个有要求的人了。

The Desperate Chick

脱单狂

Like the Serial Dater, you’ll give anyone a shot but your reasons are different. You’re tired of dating and scared to end up alone.

你和约会狂一样，几乎什么样的对象都可以试试，但你们这么做的原因却不同。你其实已经厌倦了约会，而且害怕自己会孤老一生。

You NEED to be with someone, like right now. Your solution: trying really, really, REALLY hard.

你需要身边有个人，现在就想要。而你的策略就是：努力脱单，然后更加努力地脱单。

If you’re her, remember: Trying too hard is an awesome way to end up with a terrible guy. You need to put dating and men out of your mind for a while and just have fun.

如果你是这样的女生，请记住：如果一个人真的这么饥不择食，那基本可以确定她会找到一个渣男。别老想着约会和男人，先让自己好好享受一下生活吧。

Stop trying to force it… If you step back a little, stop obsessing, and take the pressure off, dating will be fun again.

不要总是强求自己，退一步，冷静一点，给自己减减压，然后你会发现恋爱又变回了一件美好的事情。

The Fatalist

宿命论者

You are done. Not done like The Desperate Chick who’s just ready to accept anyone but DONE as in romantic comedies just straight up piss you off now.

你已经认命了。不是像脱单狂那种“谁都可以”式的认命，而是你已经不在乎了，你现在看见浪漫喜剧就想翻白眼。

You tried, it didn’t happen, and now you’re just going to chill in your apartment and let yourself go because why even bother? All those people who are in love are eventually going to break up or get divorced anyway. You’re just saving yourself the heartache.

你累了，你希望发生的那些事都并没有发生，所以你现在只想一个人窝在房间里放浪形骸；不然还能怎么样呢？那些现在爱得死去活来的人总有一天会分手或者离婚。你这样是在给自己省事。

If you’re her, remember: Rejection, breakups, heartache — that stuff is HARD. But that doesn’t mean it’s okay to give up. The reward is too big not to try.

如果你是这样的女生，请记住：被人拒绝、分手、心痛，这些的确都不好受。但这并不代表你应该放弃。前方有那么美好的结局在等着，如果不尝试一下岂不是太可惜了？

You don’t realize that because you haven’t met the right person yet. But when you do, you’ll understand why it was all worth it. So stop bitching and pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back in the game.

你现在可能还不这么觉得，但那是因为你还没有遇上那个对的人。而你一旦遇上他之后，你就会发现这一切都是值得的。所以别再愤世嫉俗了，振作起来，让自己重新进入战场。

The Alpha

女强人

You are fiercely independent. You don’t just have a job but a career, and no one has ever accused you of not having your act together. You definitely want love in your life but guys have such weak egos that they’re usually intimidated by your success.

你很独立，而且很强悍。你不止有一份工作，还有一份事业，而且从来没有人说你做得不够好。你确实也渴望得到爱情，但是这些男人的自尊心真是太弱了，你的成功让他们望而却步。

What’s a girl to do? So, you just keep focusing on work, going on the occasional date when you can fit it in, hoping something will work out one of these days. And if not, oh well, work is already basically the love of your life anyway.

做女人怎么这么难？所以，你也没办法，你只能把精力都放在工作上，然后偶尔约约会、希望能有点什么进展。而如果最终也没能找到合适的人，好吧，至少你还能把工作当成一生挚爱。

If you’re her, remember: Your life is what you make it. If you want love, you have to make room for it. It’s that simple.

如果你是这样的女生，请记住：生活是靠自己来塑造的。如果你想要爱情，那你就得为它腾出精力。就这么简单。

The Clock Watcher

大龄危机

You want a baby. In fact, you want a baby so badly that you don’t even care about the guy.

你想要孩子。事实上，你实在太想要孩子了，以至于你都不在乎和什么样的男人生。

As long as he has good DNA and a job, you’re down to get knocked up.

只要他DNA还行，然后有份工作，你就觉得能接受。

Sure, it would be nice to fall in love too but whatever — at this point, as long as you get some sperm that can swim, you’re cool.

当然，如果能找到爱情就更好了，但在如今这个节骨眼上，只要能生孩子你就不介意。

If you’re her, remember: We get it. But it’s not cool to go around having unprotected sex with the hope of finding yourself preggers. It’s actually kind of messed up.

如果你是这样的女生，请记住：我们理解你的感受。但随便找个人生孩子真的不合适。你那是在毁掉自己的生活。

The Mess

拎不清

You don’t know what you want. As long as you’ve had a few drinks, you’re happy and open to anything and anyone.

你不知道自己想要什么。只要喝上几杯，你就觉得一切都挺好、所有人都挺好。

Sure, you often end up in compromising situations — puking in the street, waking up at some random’s house, stumbling home in a daze — but that’s what you do when you’re young, right?

诚然，你常常发现自己很颓废——吐在街上啊，在不认识的人家里醒来啊，跌跌撞撞走回家啊——但年轻不就是这样吗？

If you’re her, remember: Being young is awesome but squandering that time in a haze of booze is not.  And the guys you’re attracting — not the good ones. Get yourself together.

如果你是这样的女生，请记住：年轻是一件很美妙的事，但把它浪费在酒精里就不是了。而且你现在这个样子能吸引来的男人也都不是什么好人。还是振作起来吧。