中英双语阅读62：恋爱，你准备好了吗

More often than not, you encounter days where you just want someone in your life. This can be triggered by watching romantic comedies, reading an article on the internet or seeing your best friend happily settled with someone. Yes, they come, and they’re perfectly natural, but are you sure that’s what you really want?

常常在某些瞬间，你莫名渴望生活中能出现另一半。或许只因刚刚看过几部浪漫喜剧、在网上读到某些文字，抑或因为看到好朋友都喜滋滋牵上了手。他们是如此自然而又完美地出现在一起。可是，你确定这当真就是自己想要的吗?

1. Do you even know yourself well enough already?

你已经足够了解自己了吗?

It’s important to know yourself before becoming part of a relationship. If you don’t stand for anything, you’ll find yourself unconsciously giving too much and questioning if it was even enough.

谈恋爱前一定要对自己足够了解。如果你毫无立场，到时候会不自觉地无限付出，还一直困惑自己到底付出得够不够。

Set standards on the people you want to be in your life and how you want to be treated. Know what you’re worth and eventually, you’ll make him or her believe it too.

生活中要出现另一半时，先定下双方相处原则。你要清楚自己的价值，然后让对方相信你有这样的价值。

2. You’re just in love with the concept of love.

你只是喜欢爱情本身的美好。

Cliché but this is most likely the situation if you think a relationship will save your life’s monotony. People always have a romanticized notion of what having a boyfriend or girlfriend would make them feel like. You toy with the idea of having someone constantly with you, the dates and the candlelit dinners, but the exhilaration of having one only lasts in its early stages. If you expect too much from it you might jump into the first potential relationship you find and end up disappointed.

虽说陈词滥调，但也确实如此：如果你以为恋爱能救你摆脱无聊乏味，那必定只是喜欢“恋爱”字面的蕴意。人们对谈男女朋友总是充满过于浪漫的幻想，觉得身边会一直有人陪伴、能享受数不尽的约会和烛光晚餐。其实，这种情调只会短暂出现在恋爱初期。要是你怀着过高期望一头扎进去，最后只能失望收尾。

3. You just got out of one recently.

你刚刚结束一段恋情

When you’ve just broken up with your ex, finding a rebound would seem like the most convenient solution. It’s an easy distraction from the past, all of a sudden your attention is claimed by someone else.

若你刚和前任分手，找个备胎貌似再简单不过了。你的注意力突然转移到了另一个人身上，自然更容易忘记过去。

However, this shortcut to recovery is also short-lived. If you’re not genuinely ready, it will show. Give it time, enjoy being single and save someone else from the heart ache.

可是，这条捷径恢复得快，结束得也快。如果你还没有真正准备好，后面会给你颜色看。所以，慢慢来，先享受好单身生活，别再轻易伤害到另一个人。

4. Will it fit in your priorities?

恋爱是你的当务之急吗?

If you’re a person who has a vision and a plan, this is a good question to ask yourself. How will a romantic relationship fit in with your priorities? If you know that right now, you’re still building your career and there’s a lot at stake, is it the right time to have one? While you’re finishing one project after another, having a boyfriend or girlfriend is a nice to have that you think about during your breaks.

如果你有自己的目标和规划，那很有必要扪心自问：一段浪漫的恋爱是否是当务之急?如果你确信如此，别忘了你正在努力打拼事业，百事待兴，这时候谈恋爱适合吗?你正项目接项目地忙活，喘息时想想身边能有个伴儿是件非常美好的事。

If you’re fully aware that it’s not one of your main concerns, there’s a high probability that you’ll take your partner for granted. It would be more beneficial and practical for you to allocate your time to what’s important to you as of the moment and avoid disappointing someone else.

如果你非常清楚这不是你的重中之重，那就算有恋人，你很可能也不会特别投入。这种情况下，倒不如把时间用来做当下最重要的任务，不要徒劳使他人失望罢。

It’s easy to be blinded by the media, past experiences and couples that you encounter about what a romantic relationship will bring you. But before you get consumed by your desire to have one or worse, be brought down by its current unattainability, be wise enough to think twice about it, what you want right now might not be what you need.

媒体宣传、以往经历或身边情侣很可能误导你对浪漫恋爱的理解。在你冲动想要恋爱前，不如清醒认识到目前的不切实际性，理智做到三思而后行——你现在所渴望的，未必就是你需要的。

5. You can’t even make yourself happy.

你甚至都无法使自己快乐

Some people assume that having a boyfriend or girlfriend is the ticket to happiness. They think that it will make things lighter and easier because there’s someone there to make them feel content. Though relationships may have this effect, you have to note that if your happiness is dependent on someone else and this person doesn’t meet those expectations, you’ll end up more miserable than you started.

有些人想当然以为，只要有男朋友或女朋友就会过得快乐。他们以为，到时候一切会变得容易而轻松，因为身边会有人安慰呵护他们。当然，恋爱确实能带来这些好处，但请别忘了：如果你把幸福托付给别人，一旦这个人达不到你的期望，你会超级受伤、悔不当初。

It’s your job to make yourself feel happy and fulfilled, with or without a partner. A relationship simply adds value to you but it shouldn’t be the one that completes you.

所以，不论有没有恋人，快乐和满足都只能靠你自己创造。恋爱只能为你增光添彩，却无法替代完整的你。