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新知|《性福事关幸福》:性福该如何获取,幸福该如何抵达

2017-09-30 从余启 我与我们的世界 我与我们的世界


欢迎打开“我与我们的世界”,从此,让我们一起“纵览世界之风云变幻、洞察社会之脉搏律动、感受个体之生活命运、挖掘自然之点滴奥妙”。

我与我们的世界,既是一个“奋斗”的世界,也是一个“思考”的世界。奋而不思则罔,思而不奋则殆。这个世界,你大,它就大;你小,它就小。

欢迎通过上方公众号名称打开公众号“查看历史信息”来挖掘往期文章,因为,每期都能让你“走近”不一样的世界、带给你不一样的精彩


本期导读:人人都需要幸福,幸福有很多,性福则是其中很重要的一项,甚至是不可或缺的一项,毕竟,没有性福的幸福,尽管存在,但对绝大多数人来说,都是不敢想象的。


每个人自己的XING福,与同伴的XING福紧密相连,也关系到双方彼此一生的XING福。XING福可以是内在感受,也可以是外在表现,不过,自己是否真的XING福,只有自己知道,毕竟,在这方面,或许能骗得了别人,但实在是很难骗自己。


不过,获得XING福,并不是件容易事儿,毕竟,在通往XING福的路上,总会遇到各种各样有形或无形的困难和障碍,路上也会布防着各种各样的“工事”,这就需深练“功夫”,对不同类型的“工事”,采取相应的、适当的“攻势”,才能最终达至XING福。



Intercourse isn't everything for most women, says study -- try 'outercourse'

研究发现,对大多女性来说,“内GONG”并非性福的全部,并建议试下“外GONG”

by Ian Kerner, a licensed couples therapist, writer and contributor on the topic of sex for CNN.

本文作者:伊恩·肯纳,夫妻关系执业临床医师,CNN性事专栏作家。


Many of us equate "sex" with "intercourse" and use those words interchangeably. Yet highly satisfying sex doesn't have to be limited to penetration -- and doesn't even have to include it at all.

很多人,都把“性事”与“房事”划等号,互相混用。不过,非常令人满意的性福,并不必然仅限于活塞运动,甚至,完全用不着累死累活的活塞运动就可实现。


According to a recent study, many women report that they require clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm.

近期一项研究发现,很多女性表示,需要蒂部刺激才能达到高潮。


For the study, Debby Herbenick, director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and a research fellow and sexual health educator at the Kinsey Institute, and her colleagues assessed data from 1,055 women ages 18 to 94 who answered a detailed online survey about their sex lives. "Our purpose was to understand more about women's experiences with ... the kinds of touch they find pleasurable and how clitoral and vaginal stimulation contribute to their orgasms," she explained.

为完成该项研究,印第安纳大学性健康推广中心主任兼金赛研究所研究员、性健康教育工作者黛比·赫本尼克领导的团队,对年龄介于18至94岁的1055位女性做了详尽的在线调查。赫本尼克解释说,“我们的研究目的是,对能让女性感到愉悦的抚摸类型以及能给女性带来高潮的刺激方式进行更多了解。”


译者注:

金赛研究所:由美国生物学家、昆虫学、动物学教授以及人类性科学研究专家阿尔弗莱德·查尔斯·金赛(Alfred Charles Kinsey,1894年6月23日-1956年8月25日)于1947年在印第安纳大学设立一所性学研究所,该研究所现在被称为金赛性、性别与生殖研究中心。金赛因其分别于1948年及1953年出版的《男性性行为》和《女性性行为》(统称金赛报告)而知名。金赛针对人类的性学研究让其成为性学这一领域的奠基者,他的研究不仅影响了美国,甚至影响了全世界的社会、文化价值。


In reading her results, I'm struck by the idea that the majority of women report that they often don't reach orgasm through intercourse alone. This flies in the face of the stereotype of intercourse as the be-all and end-all of sexual activity -- and suggests that couples should explore the whole range of pleasurable options for achieving climax. The study contained a few compelling findings worth enumerating.

研究报告中,有一点着实令人感到意外,多数女性表示,只通过“内GONG”一般带不来高潮,这就彻底颠覆了人们通常认为“内GONG”就是性事的全部的观念,这也意味着,伴侣们应多进行尝试,看看还有没有其他能让彼此达到性福顶点的方式。该研究还有些发现,值得予以一一详述。


Intercourse isn't everything

“内GONG”不是性福的全部

This study found that only about 18% of women reported being able to climax during intercourse from vaginal penetration alone. About 36% said they needed clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm during intercourse, and another 36% said it enhanced the experience. Yet, many women still fake orgasm during intercourse, according to therapist Laurie Mintz, author of the new book "Becoming Cliterate."

该研究发现,仅有18%的女性表示,能只通过“内GONG”达到高潮,约有36%的女性表示,做房事时需要蒂部刺激才能获得高潮,另有36%的女性表示,蒂部刺激能增强房事愉悦感。不过,据新书《认识蒂部》的作者同时也是临床医师的劳里·明茨介绍,很多女性仍会在房事时伪装高潮。


《认识蒂部:高潮为啥重要,高潮如何达到》


"The main reasons they give for faking is that they want to appear 'normal' and want to make their male partners feel good," she said.

明茨介绍说,“很多女性之所以伪装高潮,主要是因为,她们想显出来自己‘正常’,不想影响到伴侣的感受。”


"This is one of the saddest and most common problems I deal with in my clinical practice," added Anita Hoffer, a sexuality counselor and educator. "Women who either are uninformed or insecure and therefore easily intimidated by ignorant partners bear a great deal of shame and guilt at being unable to climax from intercourse alone. Many are greatly relieved when they learn that they are among the majority of women who engage in sexual intercourse."

“这是我在临床实践中遇到的最悲催、最常见的问题之一,”性事顾问和教育工作者安妮塔·霍弗也介绍说,“很多女性,或者自己不懂,或者自己没把握不自信,然后就很容易跟着伴侣的节奏走,她们达不到高潮,很大一部分原因,在她们自己。很多女性,当得知自己的情况与大多女性的都差不多时,就会感到如释重负。”


Orgasms vary

高潮有不同类型

Do some orgasms feel better than others? According to 78% of the survey respondents, the answer is yes. These so-called better orgasms aren't necessarily dependent on the length of an encounter. In fact, fewer than one in five women surveyed believed that longer sex contributed to better orgasms.

是不是有些高潮比其他的感觉会更好呢?据78%的调查对象表示,答案是“是的”。这些可称为“感觉更好的高潮”,并不必然取决于房事的长短。其实,调查对象中,只有不到五分之一的人觉得,房事越长,高潮时感觉越好。


Instead, the most common contributors to orgasmic bliss included spending time to build arousal, having a partner who knows that they like, emotional intimacy and clitoral stimulation during intercourse, said Herbenick. "A woman's general mood and stress level -- including the degree to which she is able to mindfully immerse in the sexual encounter -- can have an impact on orgasm quality too," Mintz explained.

据赫本尼克介绍,对高潮能起到积极促进作用的很多常见办法包括,花时间调动情绪,要让伴侣知道自己的敏感点,建立亲密感,进行蒂部刺激等。明茨介绍说,“女性总体的情绪状况、心理状态,包括在多大程度上能投入到性事中,都对高潮的质量会有影响。”


'Outercourse' matters

“外GONG”很重要

This term "outercourse" refers to sex that isn't intercourse and doesn't involve penetration. It can include kissing, touching, erotic massage and using sex toys, just to name a few options.

“外GONG”这个说法,是指没有“内GONG”、不涉及活塞运动的性事,可以是亲吻、抚摸、按摩、玩具,等等等等,不胜枚举。


"When we equate intercourse and sex and call everything that comes before intercourse 'foreplay,' we are buying into the cultural script that sex should proceed as follows: foreplay (just enough to get her ready for intercourse), intercourse (during which both women and men orgasm), and game over," Mintz said. But sex doesn't have to involve intercourse at all. Even when it does, other forms of stimulation can add to the experience and may improve the odds of reaching orgasm.

明茨介绍说,“若我们把房事与性事划等号,把房事之前所有的行为叫‘前戏’,那么,我们就会觉得,做性事就需按这样的步骤:进行一点点前戏让TA对房事做点准备,进行累死累活的活塞运动让双方达到高潮,然后就完事儿。”不过,性事并不意味着,必须要有房事。即使性事等于房事,其他形式的刺激也能提升感受体验,还可能会提高实现高潮的几率。


Herbenick suggested that couples take a lesson from the early days of their relationship. "Sometimes, when people are first getting together, they spend time making out and touching each other's genitals long before they start having oral sex or intercourse with each other," she explained. "All too often, once oral sex and intercourse become part of their routine, the rest fades away -- which is too bad, considering how powerful genital touching can be."

赫本尼克建议,夫妇们应从建立关系一开始就积累经验。“通常,人们刚建立关系时,会花较长时间了解彼此、抚摸对方,然后才开始用嘴上功夫或进行房事”,赫本尼克解释说,“但是,很多情况下,一旦嘴上功夫和房事变成家常便饭,其他很多方式也就彻底被遗忘了,这样的话,很糟糕,因为,‘外GONG’所能带来的体验,其美妙简直无法言说。”


Communication is key

沟通很关键

The study found that 41% of women prefer just one style of touch. "This underscores how important it is to have conversations about sex and pleasure or even to show your partner what you like, since otherwise, the chances of just stumbling upon that one preference are pretty low," Herbenick said. "Couples should be having conversations about what they like, what they don't like, what feels good and leads to orgasm, as well as what feels good but doesn't necessarily lead to orgasm."

该研究也发现,有41%的女性对某一特定的抚摸方式表示最爱,“这就意味着,就彼此体验进行交流有多么重要,甚至可直接告诉对方你所喜欢的方式,毕竟,通过胡乱的摸来摸去找到那个最喜欢的方式的概率,还是相当低的”,赫本尼克表示,“夫妇应进行交流,告诉对方自己喜欢以及不喜欢的方式,告诉对方怎么样感觉会好并会带来高潮,以及怎么样感觉会好,但并不一定会带来高潮。”


One good source of information about women's sexual pleasure that can help you get the conversation started is the website for OMGYES, which sponsored the study. The site, which states it's for 18-year-olds and older, contains a series of videos that demonstrate different types of touch that real women find pleasurable, including techniques labeled "edging," "layering" and "orbiting." There is a free preview but a cost to access all of them.

如何切入话题开聊彼此体验、感受,可通过支持该研究项目的网站“欧耶”(OMGYES)来了解相关信息。该网站是专门针对年龄为18岁及以上的人群,该网站有系列视频,展示女性能感到真正愉悦的各种不同的抚摸方式,包括被称做“边磨”、“层摸”、“回旋”的各种技巧。这些视频可免费试看,不过要看全部则需支付一定费用。


I've found this site very helpful to my female patients and their partners who want to learn more about female pleasure. "It tastefully and unselfconsciously names, describes and normalizes behaviors that are universal and, by example, invites the viewer to experiment and learn," Hoffer said. "As Leonore Tiefer (sex researcher, therapist and activist) has said, 'Sex is not a natural act,' and good lovemaking is an art that must be learned and practiced."

我发现,该网站对我临床实践中所遇到的女性客户和她们的伴侣就非常有用。“该网站对各种既能带来美妙体验又能照顾到当事人双方感受,且适用于所有人的各种方式,都进行了命名、详述和规范,而且,通过视频也可自己进行进一步尝试、学习”,霍弗介绍说,“正如性学研究者兼临床医师同时也是社会活动人士的利奥诺·迪夫所说,‘性事,不是一种具有自然性的行为,高质量的性事,是一种艺术,必须通过学习、练习才能实现’。”


10 reasons to have sex

性事必做的10个原因 

(本节原文每条分别配有一张图片,因图片“太辣眼”,这里只提供文字)


The health benefits of sex go way beyond the pleasures of orgasm. You get a health boost in all sorts of ways from fooling around, from lowering blood pressure to stress reduction. 

性事所能带来的好处,不仅仅在于高潮体验,也有利于身体健康,无所事事时来一次能扫空无聊情绪,能降低血压,能减轻生活压力。


Sex, especially orgasm, releases the bonding hormone oxytocin, which promotes a feeling of well-being and happiness. And you don't have to act like bunnies to get the benefit; a study of 30,000 Americans over four decades found that sex at least once a week was enough to make people happy.

性事,特别是高潮,能释放脑下垂体后叶一种荷尔蒙,提高幸福感。美国一项持续40年针对30000人的研究发现,每周至少一次就足以让人感到幸福。


Sex seems to be especially good for a woman's heart -- the physical one, that is. A recent study found that women who said they had frequent, extremely satisfying sex had a lower risk of hypertension, a common precursor to heart disease.

性事还有利于心脏健康,特别是对于女性。近期一项研究发现,表示性生活很满意的女性,患高血压的风险较低,而高血压就是导致心脏病的一个重要因素。


Regular, frequent sex may lower the risk of prostate cancer, according to research presented to the American Urological Association. A study of 32,000 men over 18 years found that men who ejaculate at least monthly may be less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer later in life.

据美国泌尿协会研究显示,经常有规律的性事,可降低患上前列腺癌的风险。一项针对32000位18岁以上男性的研究发现,每月至少射一次,晚年患前列腺癌的风险会更低。


You won't look like this without hitting the gym, of course, but sex is a form of exercise, burning about 150 calories an hour. Add it to the end of your workout as a reward with benefits.

性事也是一种锻炼,能燃烧热量,每小时能燃烧约150卡路里,相当于去健身房塑形健身。


Sex can lessen pain. Studies have found that even stimulation without orgasm can reduce menstrual cramps, chronic back and leg pain, even migraines. Something to think about the next time you consider saying "Not now, honey, I have a headache!"

性事能缓解疼痛。有研究显示,即使没有高潮只进行性刺激,也能减轻经痛、慢性背痛、腿疼,甚至是偏头痛。所以,下次你想要说“现在不行,亲爱滴,我头有点痛!”时,可要三思而后说。


Sex may help your memory, too. Men over 50 who had more sex were better at word recall and number sequencing, while older women improved only in word recall, according to a study published by Oxford University. Both did better than those who had less sex.

性事,也能改善记忆力。据牛津大学发布的一项研究,50岁以上的男性进行更多性事,会在词汇记忆和数据排序方面表现更好,而女性则只在词汇记忆方面表现更好。


Sex lowers stress and anxiety by releasing all sorts of good-for-you hormones, and that can help ward off depression, too. Studies show that men and women who have intercourse with their partners have greater satisfaction with their mental health. Unfortunately, the benefits didn't extend to masturbation.

性事通过释放各种有益荷尔蒙,能降低压力、减轻焦虑,而且还能预防抑郁。研究显示,经常进行性事的伴侣对自己的心理健康满意度更高。不过,不幸的是,自我安慰并不能带来这样的效果。


Good sex improves sleep, too. After orgasm, the hormones prolactin and serotonin are released, helping you feel relaxed and sleepy. Women (and some studies) argue that men receive the greater benefit.

性事还能改善睡眠质量。高潮后,会释放催乳素荷尔蒙与血清素荷尔蒙,能让人身心放松,促进睡眠。女性以及某些研究认为,男性在这方面获益更大。


In case you didn't know it, sex can also make a baby. And that can be good for you. Studies show that people with kids living at home tend to have more money and are more highly educated and in better health.

以防你不知道,需要提一下,性事还能带来小孩儿。小孩儿也能给你带来好处,有研究显示,有小孩的家庭,财富水平会更高,教育水平会更高,健康状况也会更好。


往期精彩:


新书速递|《男性之隐》:一百位男性受访者倾吐心声

精子银行|《经济学人》:资源能变成钱,钱亦能变成资源

造人那点事儿|《经济学人》:造人途径有N种,该选哪一种?

中英对照|《婚姻与爱情》:钻石可以恒久远,婚姻却是难上难

人口问题|《经济学人》:人,一定要结婚,一定要要孩子?

日本一瞥|《英国媒体》:日本人口问题堪忧,彻底没救了

中英对照|《BBC》:禁变性人服役牵出美军巨额伟哥开支

直播世界|《新兴产业》:小小直播摄像头,窥尽人性大世界

一直在变|《婚姻制度》:制度源于历史,终将也消于历史

国际话语权|《唐奖》:中华文化圈的“诺贝尔奖”落座台湾


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