【TEDx演讲005】怎样才能不把自己搞得一团糟

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00:00

Translator: Judith Matz Reviewer: Tatjana Jevdjic

00:11

Bigger welcome! Hello, San Francisco!

00:15

TEDx – oh my God, blinding light!

00:18

Hi, everybody! How are you?

00:20

(Audience cheering) Fine?! Oh my gosh! Okay, so...

00:23

My name is Mel Robbins, and for the last seventeen years,

00:27

I have done nothing but help people get everything that they want.

00:35

Within reason! My husband's here.

00:38

So, I've done it in the courtroom, in the boardroom, in the bedroom,

00:44

in people's living room, whatever room you want to be in,

00:47

if I'm there, I will help you get whatever you want by any means necessary.

00:52

For the last three years – I host a syndicated radio show.

00:56

Five days a week, I go live in forty cities

00:59

and I talk to men and women across America who feel stuck.

01:03

Do you know that a third of Americans feel dissatisfied with their lives right now?

01:11

That is a hundred million people!

01:15

That's insane!

01:18

And I've come face to face with it in this new show that I'm doing,

01:21

which is also insane, it's called "In-laws".

01:24

I move in with families across America – (Laughter)

01:29

You guessed it!

01:31

– who are at war with their in-laws.

01:35

We move them into the same house, I verbally assassinate everybody,

01:40

we open up Pandora's box,

01:42

and I get people to stop arguing about the donuts

01:46

and who is hosting Thanksgiving dinner,

01:47

and talk about the real stuff.

01:51

And that's what I want to talk to you about.

01:54

I'm here for you.

01:56

I'm going to tell you everything I know in less than eighteen minutes

02:00

about how to get what you want.

02:02

So I want you to take a millisecond right now

02:05

and think about what you want.

02:06

You!

02:08

And I want you to be selfish.

02:10

Screw Simon and the "We" thing. This is about me, right now!

02:13

(Laughter) (Applause) Sorry, Simon.

02:17

What do you want? And here's the deal.

02:21

I don't want it to sound good to other people.

02:24

Being healthy will not get your ass on a treadmill.

02:28

Losing your manboobs, so you can hook up with somebody,

02:32

now that's motivation. (Laughter)

02:35

So, I want to know: What do you want?

02:39

Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to triple your income?

02:43

Do you want to start a nonprofit? Do you want to find love?

02:47

What is it? Get it, right here.

02:49

You know what it is, don't analyze it to death, just pick something.

02:52

That's part of the problem. You won't pick.

02:57

So, we're going to be talking about how you get what you want.

03:03

And frankly, getting what you want is simple.

03:08

But notice I didn't say it was easy.

03:12

It's very simple.

03:14

In fact, if you think about it,

03:18

we live in the most amazing moment in time.

03:21

So that thing that you have up here, whatever it may be,

03:25

you want to use healthy eating to cure your diabetes,

03:28

you want to figure out how to take care of the elders

03:32

and start a new hospice center,

03:34

you want to move to Africa and build a school... Guess what?

03:38

You can walk into a book store – right now! –

03:41

and buy at least ten books written by credentialed experts

03:44

on how the hell you do it.

03:46

You could Google it.

03:48

And you could probably find at least, I don't know - a thousand blogs

03:54

documenting the step, by step, by step transformation

03:57

that somebody else is already doing.

03:59

You can find anybody online and cyber-stalk them!

04:04

(Laughter)

04:06

You can just walk in their footsteps – just use the science of drafting.

04:10

Follow what everyone else has done, because somebody is already doing it!

04:14

So why don't you have what you want,

04:16

when you have all the information that you need,

04:19

you have the contacts that you need,

04:22

there are probably free tools online that allow you to start a business,

04:26

or join a group, or do whatever the heck you want!?

04:30

It all comes down to one word:

04:33

F*©#.

04:38

Shut the front door, you know what I'm talking about?

04:42

The f-bomb. It's everywhere!

04:46

You hear it all the time!

04:48

I honestly don't understand what the appeal is of the word.

04:51

I mean, you don't sound smart when you say it.

04:54

And it's really not expressing how you really feel.

05:00

It's sort of a cheap shot to take.

05:03

And of course you know I'm talking about the word "fine".

05:09

"How you doing?" "Oh, I'm fine."

05:12

Oh, really? You are?

05:14

Dragging around those extra forty pounds, you're fine?

05:17

Feeling like roommates with your spouse, and you're fine?

05:20

You haven't had sex in four months, you're fine?

05:23

Really?!

05:26

I don't think so!

05:29

But see, here's the deal with saying that you're fine: It's actually genius.

05:34

Because if you're fine, you don't have to do anything about it.

05:39

But when you think about this word "fine", it just makes me so angry.

05:44

Here we are at a conference about being alive

05:46

and you're going to describe the experience of being alive as "fine"?!

05:52

What a flimsy and feeble word!

05:55

If you're crappy, say you're crappy!

05:57

If you're amazing say you're amazing!

05:59

Tell the truth!

06:01

And this not only goes for the social construct:

06:04

"Oh, I don't want to burden you with the fact that I hate my life",

06:07

or: "Hey, I'm amazing! But that would make you feel terrible."

06:10

The bigger issue –

06:12

The bigger issue with "fine" is that you say it to yourself.

06:17

That thing that you want, I guarantee you,

06:20

you've convinced yourself that you're fine not having it.

06:26

That's why you're not pushing yourself.

06:28

It's the areas in your life where you've given up.

06:31

Where you've said,

06:32

"Oh, I'm fine. My mom's never going to change,

06:35

so I just can't have that conversation."

06:37

"I'm fine. We've got to wait until the kids graduate, before we get divorced,

06:40

so we'll just sleep in separate bedrooms."

06:43

"I'm fine. I lost my job, I can barely pay my bills,

06:46

but whatever – It's hard to get a job."

06:51

One of the reasons why this word also just annoys me so much is,

06:57

scientists have calculated –

07:01

Oh yeah, I'm coming down! (Laughter)

07:03

Scientists have calculated

07:05

the odds

07:08

of you

07:09

being born.

07:12

That's right. They've crunched the numbers. I see you up there.

07:17

They've crunched the numbers on you –

07:18

Yeah, you guys standing up, you want to sit down for this.

07:22

They've crunched the numbers on you being born.

07:25

And they took into account all of the wars,

07:29

and the natural disasters, and the dinosaurs,

07:33

and everything else.

07:35

And do you realize that the odds, the odds of you,

07:41

yeah, right here, put your computer away,

07:43

stand up for me, Doug! (Laughter)

07:47

So the odds of Doug here, turn around, say "hi" to everybody –

07:50

the odds of Doug being born

07:54

at the moment in time he was born,

07:57

to the parents you were born to, with the DNA structure that you have,

08:03

one in four hundred trillion!

08:08

Isn't that amazing? Doug: I'm so lucky!

08:11

Mel: Yes! You're not fine, you're fantastic!

08:15

You have life-changing ideas for a reason, and it's not to torture yourself.

08:21

Thank you. Thank you, Doug. (Applause)

08:26

Christine was right when she said all of you could be on stage.

08:30

Because all of you – we're all in this category.

08:33

One in four hundred trillion.

08:37

All day long you have ideas that could change your life,

08:41

that could change the world, that could change the way that you feel,

08:45

and what do you do with them? Nothing!

08:49

(Grunts) Hopefully I won't moon you. (Laughter)

08:52

You didn't pay for that. (Laughter)

08:58

And I want you to just think for a minute, because we all have –

09:03

I love to use the analogy "the inner snooze button" –

09:06

you have these amazing ideas that bubble up.

09:09

You've been watching people all day

09:10

and I guarantee you, like ping pong balls – bam-bam-bam

09:15

and everytime you have an idea, what do you do? – Hit the snooze!

09:19

What's the first decision you made this morning?

09:22

I bet it was to go back to bed.

09:26

"Yeah, first decision today, I'm one in four hundred trillion,

09:30

I'm going to go back to sleep."

09:32

And I get it! Your bed is comfortable! It's cosy, it's warm!

09:37

If you're lucky, you've got somebody that you love next to you,

09:40

or in my case, I've got my husband and my two kids and possibly the dog.

09:47

And the reason why I'm bringing up this first decision that you made today,

09:52

and the inner snooze alarm, is because

09:57

in any area of your life that you want to change,

10:03

any – there's one fact that you need to know.

10:07

This one:

10:12

You are never going to feel like it.

10:16

Ever.

10:19

No one's coming, motivation isn't happening,

10:22

you're never going to feel like it.

10:24

Scientists call it activation energy.

10:27

That's what they call the force required

10:30

to get you to change from what you're doing

10:32

on autopilot to do something new.

10:34

So try this test tomorrow.

10:37

You think you're so fancy, I know, you're attending TED.

10:40

(Laughter) Try this.

10:43

Tomorrow morning, set your alarm for thirty minutes earlier.

10:48

And then when it goes off, take those sheets,

10:51

throw them off, and stand up and start your day.

10:56

No snooze, no delay,

10:59

no, "I'll just wait here for five seconds because Mel's not standing here" –

11:03

Do it.

11:05

And the reason why I want you to do it is because you will come face to face

11:10

with the physical, and I mean physical force

11:14

that's required to change your behavior.

11:19

Do you think that somebody who needs to lose weight

11:23

ever feels like going on a diet?

11:25

Of course not!

11:27

You think they ever feel like eating boiled chicken and peas

11:30

instead of a croissant?

11:32

I don't think so!

11:35

The activation energy

11:37

required to get your ass away from your computer and out the front door,

11:43

to go on the walk, you said that you were going to go on,

11:46

is the exact same amount of force that it takes you

11:49

to push yourself out of a warm bed and into a cold room.

11:54

What's interesting about being an adult

11:57

is that when you become eighteen,

12:01

nobody tells you that it's now going to be your job to parent yourself.

12:07

And by "parent yourself",

12:09

I mean it's your job to make yourself do the crap you don't want to do,

12:15

so you can be everything that you're supposed to be.

12:20

And you're so damn busy waiting to feel like it.

12:24

And you're never going to!

12:26

My son never feels like getting off his DS. That's my job!

12:30

Get off the damn DS!

12:33

Kendall, clean up the Barbies!

12:35

If you're going to have a nude party in my bathroom, at least clean it up!

12:39

(Laughter)

12:42

God, chew with your mouth closed! We're not a barn, for crying out loud!

12:48

Alright, dinner is coming, get out of the pantry.

12:54

As parents, and you were a kid,

12:57

your parents make you do the things you don't feel like doing.

13:00

Because you won't. Ever.

13:03

Not now, not then, not ever!

13:07

And even when you get good at something,

13:09

you'll figure out something else you don't want to do.

13:11

And then you'll plateau out, get bored, "I hate this job. Blah blah boring."

13:15

But will you look for a new one? No! You'll just bitch about that one.

13:19

It's very, very simple to get what you want.

13:23

But it's not easy.

13:28

You have to force yourself.

13:32

And I mean force.

13:36

And the reason why I use the word "force" –

13:38

when Roz was up here and talking about the emotion tracking,

13:42

and she had the picture of two sides of the brain –

13:45

I look at the brain the exact same way.

13:49

Only I describe one side of your brain as autopilot

13:52

and the other side as emergency brake.

13:54

That's the only two speeds you get: autopilot, emergency brake.

13:58

And guess which one your brain likes better: autopilot.

14:02

You've had the experience where you've driven to work and you get there

14:05

and you're like, "Oh my God, I don't remember ever driving here."

14:08

(Laughter)

14:09

You weren't drunk! That was your brain on autopilot.

14:13

It was functioning just at this level.

14:16

And the problem with your mind is that anytime

14:19

you do anything that's different from your normal routine,

14:22

guess what your brain does — emergency brake!

14:26

And it has that reaction for everything. Everything!

14:29

You walk into the kitchen and see

14:30

everybody's left their breakfast dishes for you.

14:33

And you think for the hundredth time, "I'm going to kill them.

14:36

In fact I'm gonna leave it here and I'm going to make them do it."

14:39

But that's not your normal routine, is it?

14:42

So your mind goes: emergency brake!

14:44

And you go right into autopilot.

14:46

"I'll just load it, and be pissed, and then not have sex.

14:48

That's what I'm going to do." (Laughter) (Applause)

14:54

So, when I say "force",

14:56

anything that's a break from your routine is going to require force.

15:02

And if you think about your life,

15:04

it's kind of funny because we are kids and then we become adults,

15:09

and we spend so much time trying to push our life

15:11

into some sort of stable routine,

15:13

and then we grow bored of it!

15:15

You wake up at the same time every day, you have largely the same breakfast,

15:19

you drive to work the same way, show up at work, look busy,

15:22

avoid making calls, update Facebook,

15:24

you attend a meeting and doodle the whole time,

15:27

go back and update Facebook, make plans for the evening,

15:29

you look busy some more, then drive home the same way,

15:32

you eat largely the same dinner or a variety of it,

15:34

you watch the same kind of media,

15:36

and then you go to bed, and do the same thing all over again!

15:39

No wonder you're bored out of your mind!

15:41

It's the routine that's killing you.

15:44

I have this theory about why people get stuck in life.

15:48

So, most of you've probably taken your Basic Psych 101 class,

15:51

and you've bumped into Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs"?

15:56

Well, your body is kinda cool. Because you have these basic needs.

16:01

And your body is wired to send you signals.

16:06

If you need food, what do you feel?

16:11

If you need water, what do you feel?

16:14

If you need sex, what do you feel? (Laughter) Thank you.

16:20

I think when you feel stuck or dissatisfied in your life,

16:24

it's a signal.

16:26

And it's not a signal that your life is broken.

16:30

It's a signal that one of your most basic needs are not being met.

16:35

Your need for exploration.

16:37

Everything about your life, about your body, grows!

16:41

Your cells regenerate, your hair, your nails,

16:43

everything grows for your entire life.

16:47

And your soul needs exploration and growth.

16:51

And the only way you'll get it is by forcing yourself to be uncomfortable.

16:57

Forcing yourself to get outside,

17:02

out of your head. Thank you.

17:04

If you're in your head, you're behind enemy lines.

17:07

That is not God talking, okay? It's not!

17:10

In fact, if I put a speaker on it and we broadcast what you say to yourself,

17:14

we would institutionalize you. (Laughter)

17:18

You would not hang out with people that talk to you

17:20

the way you talk to yourself.

17:22

So get out of your head!

17:25

Your feelings! Your feelings are screwing you!

17:29

I don't care how you feel! I care about what you want!

17:33

And if you listen to how you feel,

17:36

when it comes to what you want – you will not get it.

17:41

Because you will never feel like it.

17:44

And you need to get outside your comfort zone.

17:47

It's not about taking risks,

17:49

it's about getting outside your comfort zone.

17:53

Those first three seconds when you push yourself out of bed, they blow.

17:58

But once you're up, it's great.

18:02

Those first three seconds when you're sitting here in a stadium like this

18:06

and somebody says, "Get up and come dance,"

18:09

and you think, "Oh, I should do that,"

18:11

and then you're like, "Uhmm."

18:14

That experience that you had when you had the impulse to do it

18:20

and then you didn't do the activation energy

18:23

required to force yourself,

18:26

your emergency brake got pulled – "I'm sitting right here.

18:29

I'm not going up with those crazy people, I don't like to dance..."

18:34

What happened for me is I came up, and I bumped into Rachel,

18:37

and then we started talking, and next thing you know, she's tweeting.

18:41

And we're friends. And – boom! Get outside.

18:45

That's where the magic is.

18:47

That's where the one in four hundred trillion exists.

18:54

So everything I do – oh, OK, this is the last part. Sorry.

18:58

So one more thing that you can use, I call it the five-second-rule.

19:02

Your mind can process a facial expression in 33 milliseconds.

19:10

It can move pretty damn quick.

19:13

The other thing that it does very quickly

19:16

is if you have one of those little impulses that are pulling you,

19:21

if you don't marry it with an action within five seconds,

19:25

you pull the emergency brake and kill the idea.

19:27

Kill it!

19:29

If you have the impulse to get up and come dance while the band is playing,

19:33

if you don't stand up in five seconds,

19:35

you're going to pull the emergency brake.

19:38

If you have an impulse about,

19:41

you were inspired by somebody's speech today,

19:43

and you don't do something within five seconds

19:46

– write a note, send yourself a text –

19:49

anything physical to marry it with the idea,

19:52

you will pull the emergency brake and kill the idea.

19:56

Your problem isn't ideas. Your problem is you don't act on them.

20:00

You kill them. It's not my fault. It's not anybody's fault.

20:06

You're doing it to yourself. Stop it!

20:10

I'm counting on you. One in four hundred trillion.

20:15

You got stuff to do!

20:17

And it's not going to happen in your head.

20:20

So I want you to practice this today.

20:24

When we go off to party, thank God it's coming soon,

20:26

because I think we all could use a cocktail,

20:30

I want you to practice the five-second-rule.

20:33

You see somebody and you think you have an impulse,

20:36

they look interesting? Walk over there!

20:39

You were inspired by somebody and you have a request?

20:42

Make it!

20:44

That's why you're here!

20:48

Experiment with it, and I think you'll be shocked about what happens.

20:52

And one more thing, I want you to know that everything that I do,

20:56

whether it's the radio show, or the television show,

20:58

or the book that I wrote, or the column,

21:01

it's for you.

21:03

And if there is anything that I can do,

21:07

if I can do anything to make you do the things you don't want to do,

21:12

so you can have what you want, I will do it.

21:16

But you need to walk over, you need to open your mouth,

21:20

and you need to make the request.

21:22

You got it? Good. Go do it.

21:26

(Applause)

21:32

Thank you! Thank you, yes! Stand up!

21:35

You have the impulse, stand up! Thank you!

00:00

譯者: Jina Chen 審譯者: 易帆 余

00:11

熱烈歡迎 ！你們好，舊金山 ！

00:15

TEDx — — 噢我的天啊，燈光好亮 ！

00:18

嗨，大家好嗎？

00:20

(觀眾歡呼) 挺好？！哦我的天啊 ！好，那麼......

00:23

我的名字是梅爾羅賓斯， 在過去的十七年中，

00:27

我什麼都沒做，除了幫助人們 得到他們想要的一切。

00:35

合理範圍內啦！我老公在場耶！

00:38

所以，我在法庭上、 會議室裡、臥室裡、

00:44

在人們的客廳裡， 不管你想在哪個房間，

00:47

如果我在，我會不擇手段 幫助你得到任何你想要的，

00:52

過去的三年，我主持一個 聯網播放的電台節目。

00:56

每周 5 天，我在 40 個城市現場直播，

00:59

與美國各地感覺被困住的人們談話。

01:03

你知道在這一刻，有三分之一的美國人 對他們的生活感到不滿嗎?

01:11

那是 1 億人啊！

01:15

簡直是瘋了 ！

01:18

我在我正在做的一個新節目 裡面對面看到它了，

01:21

也是瘋了。這個節目叫"親家"。

01:24

我去美國各地的家庭和他們同住 — — （笑聲）

01:29

你猜對了 ！

01:31

— — 這些家庭正和他們的親家在對抗呢。

01:35

我們讓他們全都住到同一屋簷下， 我對每個人講話都很機車，

01:40

我們會打開潘多拉的盒子，

01:42

我會讓他們別為甜甜圈吵架，

01:46

或誰來主辦感恩節晚餐，

01:47

並談論實質的東西。

01:51

這些也是我想要跟你們談的。

01:54

我是為你站在這兒的，

01:56

我要用不到18 分鐘的時間， 告訴你我知道的一切

02:00

有關於如何獲得你想要的。

02:02

我現在請你花點時間，

02:05

想一下你想要什麼。

02:06

你 ！

02:08

我要你自私地去想。

02:10

去你的Simon和"我們"。這是關於我，就現在 ！

02:13

（笑聲）（掌聲）抱歉，Simon。

02:17

你想要什麼？這問題要這樣看，

02:21

我不要它聽起來冠冕堂皇。

02:24

光是健康有甚麼動力? 它不會讓你的屁股在跑步機上動起來。

02:28

把你男性乳房給瘦沒了， 你才能把到妹子，

02:32

那才是動力。（笑聲）

02:35

所以，我想知道：你想要什麼？

02:39

你想減肥嗎？你想要你收入翻三倍嗎？

02:43

你想要建立一個非營利組織嗎？你想要找到真愛嗎？

02:47

想要什麼？留住它，在這裡（指腦袋）。

02:49

你知道它是什麼， 別往死裡分析，就選一個。

02:52

這是問題的一部分。你沒法選擇。

02:57

所以，我們要談談 你如何得到你想要的。

03:03

坦白說，得到你想要的，其實很單純。

03:08

但注意我沒說它很容易。

03:12

它很單純。

03:14

事實上，如果你想一想

03:18

我們活在一個最令人驚嘆的時刻。

03:21

你腦袋裡想的事，不管它是什麼，

03:25

你想要使用健康飲食治好你的糖尿病，

03:28

你想要知道如何照顧老年人

03:32

並成立一個臨終關懷中心，

03:34

你想要去非洲 建立一所學校...你知道麼？

03:38

你可以去一家書店 --現在！--

03:41

至少買十本資深專家寫的書，

03:44

他們會告訴你怎麼做。

03:46

你可以谷歌搜索一下。

03:48

你大概可以找到至少，我不知道 — —

03:54

一千個部落格，記錄著別人 已經一步一步在做的事情。

03:59

你可以在網上找到任何人， 然后在網上跟蹤他們 ！

04:04

（笑聲）

04:06

你可以跟著他們的腳步走， 就像打草稿一樣。

04:10

跟隨其他已經做到的人， 因為別人已經辦到了 ！

04:14

所以為什麼你沒有你想要的？

04:16

當你有你需要的所有信息，

04:19

你要有需要的門路，

04:22

搞不好網路上有免費的工具 可以幫助你開創新的事業，

04:26

或著加入一個團體， 或者做你想要做的任何事情!?

04:30

總結一個字，就是：

04:33

F*©#.

04:38

閉嘴，你知道我說什麼嗎？

04:42

F-炸彈。它無處不在 ！

04:46

你總是聽到它 ！

04:48

我真心不明白這詞的魅力是什麼。

04:51

我是說，你說這詞的時候 聽起來又不聰明。

04:54

它也不真的表達你真實的感受。

05:00

它就像便宜的酒。

05:03

當然你知道我在說這個詞："fine"（很好）。

05:09

"你好嗎?哦，我挺好"。

05:12

哦，真的嗎？你是嗎？

05:14

拖著那多餘的四十磅，你挺好？

05:17

與你的配偶感覺像室友，你挺好？

05:20

你四個月沒做愛了，你挺好？

05:23

真的？！

05:26

我不這麼覺得！

05:29

不過，說你挺好的這事兒呢， 其實蠻天才的。

05:34

因為如果你挺好， 你不用再做任何改變。

05:39

但當你思考一下“挺好”這個詞， 它就是讓我很生氣。

05:44

我們在這裡談論有關於活著的議題，

05:46

然後你要描述活著的經驗為"挺好"？！

05:52

一個多麼輕薄微弱的詞啊 ！

05:55

如果你很糟糕，說你很糟糕 ！

05:57

如果你很厲害，說你很厲害 ！

05:59

說實話 ！

06:01

而這不只是用在社交場合：

06:04

"喔，我不想用我討厭我的人生來煩你"，

06:07

或者："嘿，我是很厲害 ！但這會讓你感覺很糟。”

06:10

更大的問題是 — —

06:12

"fine"(很好) 最大的問題是 你這麼告訴你自己，

06:17

那個你想要的東西，我像你保証，

06:20

你已經說服你自己， 沒有它，也沒關係了。

06:26

這就是為什麼你不逼迫自己。

06:28

這就是你在人生中放棄的地方，

06:31

當你說過，

06:32

"哦，我挺好，我媽媽永遠不會改，

06:35

所以我不能談那個"。

06:37

"我挺好。我們得等到 孩子們畢業再離婚

06:40

所以我們就分房睡"。

06:43

"我挺好。我丟了我的工作， 幾乎付不起賬單，

06:46

但不管了 — — 找到一份工作太難了"。

06:51

其中一個原因讓我覺得那個字很煩人是，

06:57

科學家們已經算出 — —

07:01

哦耶，我下來了 ！（笑聲）

07:03

科學家們已經算出

07:05

你們

07:08

被生下來

07:09

的機率。

07:12

沒錯。他們已經處理過了... 我看到上邊的你了。

07:17

他們對你的出生機率 已經算出來了，

07:18

沒錯，站起來的那幾位， 你最好先坐下來。

07:22

他們已經算出來你出生的機率。

07:25

他們考慮了所有的戰爭，

07:29

和自然災害，和恐龍，

07:33

和其他一切。

07:35

你知不知道這個機率， 你出生的機率，

07:41

對，就這兒，收起你的電腦，

07:43

給我站起來，道格 ！（笑聲）

07:47

所以道格的機率， 轉過來和大家說“嗨”

07:50

道格被生出來的機率

07:54

在他出生的那一刻，

07:57

父母把你生下來， 讓你擁有自己的DNA結構

08:03

的機率是400兆分之1！

08:08

這不是很厲害嗎? （道格：我真幸運 ！）

08:11

（梅爾：是的 ！你不是挺好，你是很棒 ！）

08:15

你有改變人生的想法是有原因的， 那可不是為了折磨你自己。

08:21

謝謝！謝謝你，道格！（掌聲）

08:26

當克裡斯蒂娜說，你們都可以 站上這個講台，她是對的，

08:30

因為你們所有人-- 我們都在這個類別裡，

08:33

400兆分之1。

08:37

整天你會有源源不絕的想法 可以改變你的人生，

08:41

可以改變世界， 可以改變你感覺的方式，

08:45

而你對它們採取甚麼行動？沒有！

08:49

(嗯哼）但願我沒露出屁股給你們看。（笑聲）

08:52

你們又沒有付錢...（笑聲）

08:58

我要你們花點時間想想，因為我們都有...

09:03

我喜歡使用這個比喻 "內在打盹按鈕"，

09:06

你有很棒的點子不停地冒出來，

09:09

你已經看人看了一整天，

09:10

我保証，就像乒乓球 — — 邦、邦、邦 — — 你有這些想法。。。

09:15

每次你有一個想法，你做什麼？— — 按下打盹按鈕 ！

09:19

你今天早上作的第一個決定是什麼？

09:22

我敢打賭一定是睡回籠覺。

09:26

"對，今天第一個決定， 我是400兆分之一，

09:30

我要繼續睡懶覺了"。

09:32

我懂 ！你的床很舒服 ！很舒適，很溫暖 ！

09:37

如果你幸運的話， 你有個你愛你的人在身邊

09:40

或者是我的話，我有我的丈夫 和我的兩個孩子，可能還有我們的狗。

09:47

為什麼我會提起 你今天作的第一決定

09:52

和內在的打盹鬧鐘，是因為

09:57

在你想要改變你生命中的任何領域

10:03

任何領域 — — 你需要知道一個事實。

10:07

這一個：

10:12

你永遠不會感覺想去做。

10:16

永遠。

10:19

沒人來，動力不會出現，

10:22

你永遠不會感覺想去做。

10:24

科學家們稱它為「活化能」。

10:27

他們所指的力量就是

10:30

一個讓你從自動導航模式

10:33

轉變到做新鮮事的力量。

10:34

所以明天試試這個測試。

10:37

你要覺得自己很厲害， 我知道啊，你在參加 TED。

10:40

（笑聲）試試看。

10:43

明天早上，把你的鬧鐘設置 提早三十分鐘。

10:48

然後當它響的時候， 把那些被子毯子丟開，

10:51

站起來開始你的一天。

10:56

不貪睡、不遲到

10:59

沒有，"我就等五秒鐘， 因為梅爾沒在這裡"— —

11:03

立刻做吧。

11:05

為什麼要你這麼做的原因是 因為你會面對面碰上

11:10

生理上的問題，而我的意思是

11:14

改變你行為所需要的體力。

11:19

你認為需要減肥的人

11:23

曾經感覺過想要節食嗎？

11:25

當然不會！

11:27

你認為他們會永遠 只吃白煮雞肉和豌豆

11:30

來代替可頌麵包嗎？

11:32

我可不這麼認為！

11:35

活化能

11:37

需要你移動一下你的屁股 離開電腦，走出去大門口，

11:43

出門去散你說過 要去散的那個步，

11:46

和把你自己逼出溫暖的床，

11:49

走到外面冰冷的空間， 所需要的力量是同樣多的。

11:54

作為成人有趣的是

11:57

當你滿十八歲，

12:01

沒人告訴你，「管教你自己」 現在變成你的職責了。

12:07

而「管教你自己」的意思是，

12:09

你的職責就是讓你自己 去做那些你不想做的破事。

12:15

所以，你可以成為 你認為可以成為的人。

12:20

而你他媽的這麼忙， 想要等你喜歡做的時候才要做？

12:24

你永遠都等不到 ！

12:26

我的兒子從來不覺得 他玩夠了他的任天堂，那是我的工作！

12:30

別玩那該死的任天堂了！

12:33

肯德爾，收起你那些芭比娃娃 ！

12:35

如果你要在我的浴室開裸趴， 至少先清乾淨啊 ！

12:39

（笑聲）

12:42

上帝啊，吃東西的時候嘴巴閉起來 ！我們又不是穀倉，嘴巴張這大要嚇人啊 ！

12:48

好了，晚餐馬上好了， 不要再吃零食了，出來。

12:54

身為一個父母，當你還是小孩時

12:57

你的父母讓你做 你感覺不想做的事情。

13:00

因為你不想做，永遠都不想。

13:03

不是現在，不是等一下，永遠不會 ！

13:07

就算你對於某件事很在行，

13:09

你也會想出一些你不想做的理由。

13:11

然後你就會感到無聊 "我討厭這個工作 吧啦 吧啦 好無聊~"

13:15

但你會尋找一個新工作嗎？不 ！你只會罵那個工作。

13:19

得到你想要的東西 其實非常非常單純，

13:23

但並不容易。

13:28

你必須逼迫自己。

13:32

我是說要逼迫。

13:36

我使用"逼迫"這個詞的原因是--

13:38

當洛茲在這裡談論情感記錄

13:42

她有個大腦兩邊的圖片 — —

13:45

我也是這樣看待頭腦的

13:49

只是我把頭腦的一邊看成自動駕駛

13:52

另一邊是緊急煞車。

13:54

你有的只有這兩個速度：自動模式、 緊急剎車。

13:58

猜猜你的大腦較喜歡哪一邊：自動模式。

14:02

你有過你開車去工作， 然後你到了那裡，

14:05

你突然覺得"喔天哪， 我不記得我曾開車來過這裡"。

14:08

（笑聲）

14:09

你沒喝醉 ！是你的大腦在自動模式。

14:13

它就是在這個程度運作的。

14:16

你頭腦的問題是，在任何時候

14:19

你只要做任何異於平常做的事，

14:22

猜猜你的大腦會做什麼 — — 緊急剎車 ！

14:26

並且它對一切都有這種反應。一切 ！

14:29

你走進廚房，看到

14:30

每個人都留了他們的 早餐盤要給你洗。

14:33

你有一百次想"我要殺了他們。

14:36

實際上，我要把這些留在這裡， 我要讓他們來洗"

14:39

但是那不是你平常會做的事，對嗎？

14:42

所以你的頭腦立刻：緊急剎車 ！

14:44

然後你又回到自動模式。

14:46

"我就扛下來自己做， 然後自己氣得要死，然後沒性生活。

14:48

然後做到死，活該。"（笑聲）（掌聲）

14:54

所以，當我說，"逼迫"，

14:56

任何不是你平常 會做的事都需要逼迫。

15:02

如果你想想看你的人生

15:04

其實還蠻好笑的，因為我們是小孩， 然後我們變成大人

15:09

我們花那麼多時間試圖將我們的人生

15:11

推入某種穩定的常規，

15:13

然後我們覺得這很無聊 ！

15:15

每天你在同一時間醒來， 吃一份很相同的早餐，

15:19

你用同樣的方式開車去上班， 在公司出現，表現很忙，

15:22

逃避打電話，更新下 Facebook，

15:24

你去參加會議，會議時間都在塗鴉，

15:27

回去再更新 Facebook，為傍晚做個計劃

15:29

你看起又更忙一些， 然後用同樣的方式開車回家，

15:32

你吃很相同的晚餐或它的其中一種，

15:34

你看同樣的媒體，

15:36

然後你去睡覺，再做同樣的事 ！

15:39

難怪你無聊到想發瘋 ！

15:41

刻板的生活慢慢把你殺了。

15:44

我有個為什麼人在 生活中被困住的理論。

15:48

你們大多數可能 已經上過心理學入門的課，

15:51

已經了解亞伯拉罕．馬斯洛的 "需求層次"？

15:56

那麼，你的身體是挺酷的。因為你有這些基本需求。

16:01

而你的身體向你發出信號。

16:06

如果你餓，需要食物，你什麼感覺？

16:11

如果你需要水，你什麼感覺？

16:14

如果你需要做愛， 你什麼感覺？（笑聲）謝謝。

16:20

我認為，當你感覺卡住 或不滿你的人生，

16:24

這是一個信號。

16:26

這信號並不是說 ”你的人生完蛋了”。

16:30

它是說“一個你最基本 的需求未得到滿足”。

16:35

你需要去探索。

16:37

你生活的一切、 身體的一切都會成長！

16:41

你的細胞、你的頭髮、你的指甲

16:43

每一樣在你的人生中都會成長。

16:47

而你的靈魂需要探索和成長。

16:51

而你唯一要得到它的方法， 就是強迫自己不舒服。

16:57

強迫自己到外面去，

17:02

離開你的腦袋，謝謝。

17:04

如果你在你的腦袋裡， 你在封鎖線後方。

17:07

那不是上帝在說話，好嗎？不是 ！

17:10

事實上，如果我放個喇叭在上面， 然後廣播一下你對自己說些什麼，

17:14

我們會把你抓進精神病院去。（笑聲）

17:18

你不會跟講話方式

17:20

跟你一樣的人出去閒逛。

17:22

所以到你的腦袋外面去!

17:25

你的感覺 ！你的感覺在害你 ！

17:29

我不在乎你的感覺 ! 我在乎的是你想要什麼 ！

17:33

如果你聽從你的感受，

17:36

那麼你想要的 — — 你不會得到它。

17:41

因為你永遠不會感覺到喜歡它。

17:44

而你需要到你的舒適圈以外。

17:47

這跟冒險無關，

17:49

這跟走出你的舒適圈有關。

17:53

你逼自己起床的頭三秒真是難熬。

17:58

但一旦你起來了，就很棒。

18:02

那些頭三秒，當你坐在這兒 像這樣一個體育場

18:06

然後有人說，"起來跳舞啊"

18:09

你想，"哦，我應該去跳，"

18:11

然後你想，"算了..."

18:14

那個經驗，當你有衝動想去跳

18:20

但你沒用啟動所需的「活化能」

18:23

來逼迫自己，

18:26

你的緊急剎車被拉起來 — —"我就坐在這裡。

18:29

我才不要去和那些瘋子瞎攪和， 我不喜歡跳舞..."

18:34

我發生的是，我上去了， 然後我遇到雷切爾

18:37

然後我們開始聊天， 接著你就發現，她在玩推特

18:41

然後我們是朋友了。然後 — — 砰 ！到外面去。

18:45

那是魔力存在的地方。

18:47

那是400兆分之一的人該待的地方。

18:54

所以，我做的一切-- 哦，好，這就是最後一部分。抱歉。

18:58

還有個你能用的， 我叫它五秒鐘規則。

19:02

你的頭腦，33 毫秒就可以處理一個面部表情。

19:10

它能運作得很快。

19:13

另一件它做得很快的事，

19:16

就是，如果你有一個拉扯你的那些小衝動

19:21

如果你沒有在五秒內採取行動

19:25

你就會拉起緊急剎車， 並殺死了這個想法。

19:27

殺了 ！

19:29

如果樂隊在表演的時候， 你有衝動要上來跳舞，

19:33

如果你在 5 秒內不站起來，

19:35

你就會拉起緊急剎車。

19:38

如果你有一個衝動，

19:41

像是，你今天受到某人的演講而得到啟發，

19:43

你如果沒在五秒之內做些什麼...

19:46

— — 寫在便條紙上，寄一封簡訊給自己 — —

19:49

任何根據這個想法上的身體行動，

19:52

你將拉起緊急剎車並殺了這個想法。

19:56

你的問題不是想法本身， 是你沒有去執行它們。

20:00

你殺了它們。這不是我的錯。這不是任何人的錯。

20:06

你在自做自受，停止這樣做！

20:10

我相信你， 400 兆分之一。

20:15

你會有事要做！

20:17

而它不會發生在你的腦袋裡。

20:20

所以我想讓你今天練習一下。

20:24

當我們去派對的時候， 感謝上帝派對快開始了，

20:26

因為我覺得我們都可以喝杯雞尾酒，

20:30

我要你練習五秒鐘規則。

20:33

你看到某人，你覺得你有一種衝動，

20:36

他們看起來有趣？走過去 ！

20:39

你因為受到某人的鼓舞， 然後你有一個請求？

20:42

提出來 ！

20:44

那是你在這裡的原因啊 ！

20:48

試驗一下，我想你會被 所發生的事而感到震驚的。

20:52

還有件事，我想讓你知道 我做的這一切

20:56

無論是電台節目，電視節目，

20:58

還是我寫的這本書或著專欄，

21:01

都是為了你們。

21:03

如果有什麼是我能做的

21:07

如果我可以做什麼 來逼你做你不想做的事情，

21:12

使你可以得到你想要的，我會去做。

21:16

但是你必須要走過來，張開你的嘴

21:20

你需要提出這個請求。

21:22

明白了？很好，去做吧！

21:26

（掌聲）

21:32

謝謝！謝謝你，是的 ！站起來！

21:35

你有這衝動，就站起來 ！謝謝！

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