TED英语演讲视频：好或坏不是整个故事，学会把握生活（含演讲稿）
TED是Technology, Entertainment, Design(科技、娱乐、设计)的缩写，这个会议的宗旨是"用思想的力量来改变世界"。TED演讲的特点是毫无繁杂冗长的专业讲座，观点响亮，开门见山，种类繁多，看法新颖。而且还是非常好的英语口语听力练习材料，建议坚持学习。
TED英语演讲视频：好或坏不是整个故事，学会把握生活
荷乐 · 雷尼尔的女儿菲右娜患有导致发育迟缓的遗传病症「沃夫 - 贺许宏氏症候群」。与一般人对于类似孩子的刻板印象不同，菲右娜既不悲惨，也不是慢飞天使。雷尼尔谈及扶养这个罕病女孩的历程：美好、复杂、快乐又艰辛。她质疑我们文化对于什么是「好」、什么是「坏」的假设；挑战我们：不要在只专注在解决我们认为不正常的事，而是要把握生活。
https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?vid=b06571lph0j&width=500&height=375&auto=0
演讲稿
好或坏不是整个故事，学会把握生活
There’s an ancient parable about a farmer who lost his horse.And neighbors came over to say,"Oh, that’s too bad."And the farmer said,"Good or bad, hard to say."Days later, the horse returns and brings with it seven wild horses.And neighbors come over to say,"Oh, that’s so good!"And the farmer just shrugs and says, "Good or bad, hard to say."The next day, the farmer’s son rides one of the wild horses,is thrown off and breaks his leg.And the neighbors say,"Oh, that’s terrible luck."And the farmer says,"Good or bad, hard to say."Eventually, officers come knocking on people’s doors,looking for men to draft for an army,and they see the farmer’s son and his leg and they pass him by.And neighbors say,"Ooh, that’s great luck!"And the farmer says,"Good or bad, hard to say."
有一则古老的寓言「塞翁失马」，讲的是一个农夫失掉一匹马。他的邻居说：「唉，太糟了。」农夫说：「是好是坏很难讲。」几天后，那匹马带回七匹野马。邻居又说了：「啊，太好了。」农夫只是耸耸肩，说：「好坏很难说。」过了一天，农夫的儿子骑乘其中的一匹野马，摔了下来，断了一条腿。邻居说：「啊，运气真差。」农夫说：「好坏难讲。」后来军官敲家家户户的门，要拉夫从军；看到农夫的儿子腿断了，就放过了他。邻居说：「哦，运气真好！」农夫说：「好或坏，很难说。」
I first heard this story 20 years ago,and I have since applied it 100 times.Didn’t get the job I wanted:good or bad, hard to say.Got the job I wanted:good or bad, hard to say.To me, the story is not about looking on the bright sideor waiting to see how things turn out.It’s about how eager we can be to label a situation,to put concrete around it by judging it.But reality is much more fluid,and good and bad are often incomplete stories that we tell ourselves.The parable has been my warningthat by gripping tightly to the story of good or bad,I close down my ability to truly see a situation.I learn more when I proceed and loosen my gripand proceed openly with curiosity and wonder.
二十年前我第一次听到这个故事，从那时起，用了一百次。没有得到我想要的工作：好坏很难说。得到我想要的工作：好坏很难说。对我而言，这故事无关乐观看待，也不是等著情况好转；而是不论我们有多么迫切想要把情况贴个标签，想要盖棺论定，实情却是不定型的，我们说的好或坏常常是片面的。这寓言一直让我自我警惕，紧抓着是好事或是坏事不放，使我关上了能够看见实情的那扇门。如果松开手，我会学到更多，能以开放和好奇的心态前进。
But seven years ago,when I was pregnant with my first child,I completely forgot this lesson.I believed I knew wholeheartedly what was good.When it came to having kids,I thought that good was some version of a superbaby,some ultrahealthy human who possessed not a single flawand would practically wear a cape flying into her superhero future.I took DHA pills to ensure that my baby had a super-high-functioning,supersmart brain,and I ate mostly organic food,and I trained for a medication-free labor,and I did many other thingsbecause I thought these things would help me make not just a good baby,but the best baby possible.
但是七年前，我怀着头一胎，完全忘了这一课。我以为自己全然了解什么是好的。想到养育小孩，我认为：好就是有超棒的孩子，特别健康，没有一点缺陷，就像以后会披着超人的披肩飞向未来。怀孕时我服用 DHA 药丸以确保婴儿以后的头脑会超级聪明；我多半食用有机食品，训练自己生产时不用药，还做了其他很多事，因为我以为这样做不只能让我生个好婴儿，而且是最棒的婴儿。
When my daughter Fiona was born,she weighed 4 pounds, 12 ounces,or 2.15 kilograms.The pediatrician said there were only two possible explanationsfor her tiny size.Either, he said, "it’s bad seed,"or it’s bad soil.And I wasn’t so tired from labor to lose the thread of his logic:my newborn, according to the doctor,was a bad plant.Eventually, I learned that my daughter had an ultra-rare chromosomal conditioncalled Wolf-Hirschhorn syndrome.She was missing a chunk of her fourth chromosome.And although my daughter was good --she was alive,and she had brand new baby skinand the most aware onyx eyes --I also learned that people with her syndromehave significant developmental delays and disabilities.
我的女儿菲右娜出生时重 4 磅 12 盎司，也就是 2.15 公斤。小儿科医生说只有两种可能性可以解释她的个儿为何这么娇小。他说：「要么是种不好，要么是土不好。」我没精疲力尽到听不出他的逻辑：医生认为我的新生儿是窳劣的。后来我得知女儿有极为罕见的染色体状况，叫做「沃夫-贺许宏氏症候群」。她的第四组染色体少了一段。尽管我的女儿好好的，她活着，她有新生婴儿的肌肤和最清澈的玛瑙色眼珠。我也得知像她这种症状的人，发育会显著迟缓和有障碍。有些永远学不会走路或说话。
I did not have the equanimity of the farmer.The situation looked unequivocally bad to me.But here’s where the parable is so useful,because for weeks after her diagnosis,I felt gripped by despair,locked in the story that all of this was tragic.Reality, though -- thankfully -- is much more fluid,and it has much more to teach.As I started to get to know this mysterious person who was my kid,my fixed, tight story of tragedy loosened.It turned out my girl loved reggae,and she would smirk when my husband would bounce her tiny body up and downto the rhythm.Her onyx eyes eventually turned the most stunning Lake Tahoe blue,and she loved using them to gaze intently into other people’s eyes.At five months old, she could not hold her head up like other babies,but she could hold this deep, intent eye contact.One friend said, "She’s the most aware baby I’ve ever seen."
我不像农夫那样平静。在我看来，情况毫不含糊的糟糕。但是寓言正在这里派上用场，因为在诊断后的几周，我深陷绝望，全然困在悲惨的故事里。幸好现实不是定型的，有很多事要我学习。我开始慢慢认识这个神秘的孩子，我那定型、紧绷的悲剧故事松开了。原来我的女儿喜欢雷鬼音乐，我的丈夫随着音乐旋律上下轻摇她小小的身体时，她会傻笑。她的琥珀色眼珠后来变成像太浩湖那样令人惊艳的蓝，她喜欢定睛看着别人的双眼。虽然五个月大时她不能像别的婴儿那样抬着头，但她能专注盯着看。
But where I saw the gift of her calm, attentive presence,an occupational therapist who came over to our house to work with Fionasaw a child who was neurologically dull.This therapist was especially disappointedthat Fiona wasn’t rolling over yet,and so she told me we needed to wake her neurology up.One day she leaned over my daughter’s body,took her tiny shoulders,jostled her and said, "Wake up! Wake up!"We had a few therapists visit our house that first year,and they usually focused on what they thought was bad about my kid.I was really happy when Fiona started using her right handto bully a dangling stuffed sheep,but the therapist was fixated on my child’s left hand.Fiona had a tendency not to use this hand very often,and she would cross the fingers on that hand.So the therapist said we should devise a splint,which would rob my kid of the ability to actually use those fingers,
虽然我看到的是 她平静、专注存在的禀赋，但是来我家替菲右娜复健的职业治疗师看到的却是一个神经迟缓的孩子，这个治疗师对于菲右娜那时还没办法翻身尤其失望，因此她说我们必须要唤醒她的神经。有天她俯在我女儿的身上，抓住她小小的肩膀，推挤着她，说：「醒过来！醒过来！」头一年有几个治疗师来我们家，通常他们着重在他们认为 我孩子不好的地方。当菲右娜开始用她的右手时我非常的高兴，她用手欺负一个悬挂的绵羊，但是治疗师却紧盯着她的左手。菲右娜倾向于少用左手，交叉著左手的手指。因此治疗师认为需要设计一个夹板，致使我的孩子根本不能使用那些手指头，仅为把那些手指头扳到看起来正常的位置。
In that first year, I was starting to realize a few things.One: ancient parables aside, my kid had some bad therapists.
第一年，我开始认知了几件事。第一：古老的寓言先摆一边，我孩子有几个差劲的治疗师。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
Two: I had a choice.Like a person offered to swallow a red pill or a blue pill,I could choose to see my daughter’s differences as bad;I could strive toward the goal that her therapists called,You’d never know.They loved to pat themselves on the back when they could say about a kid,You’d never know he was ’delayed’ or ’autistic’ or ’different.’I could believe that the good path was the path that erasedas many differences as possible.Of course, this would have been a disastrous pursuit,because at the cellular level,my daughter had rare blueprints.She wasn’t designed to be like other people.She would lead a rare life.So, I had another choice:I could drop my storythat neurological differences and developmental delays and disabilitieswere bad,which means I could also drop my story that a more able-bodied life was better.I could release my cultural biases about what made a life good or badand simply watch my daughter’s life as it unfoldedwith openness and curiosity.
第二：我有选择。就像被供给红药丸或蓝药丸来服用，我能选择视女儿的不同为不好，能选择努力去实现她的治疗师声称的目标：「妳永远不会知道。」他们认可自己对孩子的评论：「你永远不会知道他是『迟缓』、『自闭』或是『不同』。」我能选择认可尽量消弭差异是好的方式；当然那会导致惨痛的结果，因为我女儿的细胞有罕见的基因蓝图。她被设计成异于常人。她将会过著罕见的生活。因此，我有另一个选择：我能舍弃神经异常、发展迟缓、残障是不好的这种认知；也就是弃舍原先认为拥有健全身体的生命就比较好的这个想法。我可以放掉决定生命是好是坏的文化偏见，而只专注在我女儿正展开
One afternoon she was lying on her back,and she arched her back on the carpetstuck her tongue out of the side of her mouthand managed to torque her body onto her belly.Then she tipped over and rolled back onto her back,and once there, she managed to do it all over again,rolling and wiggling her 12-pound self under a coffee table.At first, I thought she’d gotten stuck there,but then I saw her reaching for something that her eye had been on all along:a black electric cord.She was a year old.Other babies her age were for sure pulling up to stand and toddling around,some of them.To some, my kid’s situation looked bad:a one-year-old who could only roll.But screw that.My kid was enjoying the new,limber freedom of mobility.I rejoiced.Then again, what I watched that afternoon was a baby yanking on an electric cord,so you know,good or bad, hard to say.
有一天下午，她背躺着，她在地毯上弓起了背，舌头伸出嘴侧，扭转成腹部着地趴着的姿势。然后她又转成背躺着，躺好后，她又做了一次，在咖啡桌下滚动和摆动她 12 磅重的身躯。起初，我以为她被困住了，但后来我看到她伸手去拿她的眼睛一直盯着的东西：一条黑色的电源线。当时她一岁。同龄的其他婴儿肯定能自己站起来、蹒跚前进，有些能够。有些人认为我孩子的情况很糟糕，已经一岁了，只会翻身而已。但是，管他的。我的孩子正在享受新的、肢体灵活的自由。我欢欣。然而那天下午我看到的是个拉扯电线的婴儿，想当然尔，是好或是坏，很难说。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
I started seeing that when I released my gripabout what made a life good or bad,I could watch my daughter’s life unfold and see what it was.It was beautiful,it was complicated,joyful, hard --in other words: just another expression of the human experience.
我开始看到，当我松开了手，不再执著于生命怎么样是好、是坏，我看见、了解女儿正在展开生命：美丽、复杂、欢欣、困难。
Eventually, my family and I moved to a new state in America,and we got lucky with a brand-new batch of therapists.They didn’t focus on all that was wrong with my kid.They didn’t see her differences as problems to fix.They acknowledged her limitations,but they also saw her strengths,and they celebrated her for who she was.Their goal wasn’t to make Fiona as normal as possible;their goal was simply to help her be as independent as possibleso that she could fulfill her potential, however that looked for her.
后来我们搬到美国的另一州，很幸运有了另一批崭新的治疗师。他们不再注重于我孩子不对劲的地方。他们不把她的异常视为应该修理的问题。他们承认她的侷限，也看到她的强项，他们表扬原本的她。他们的目标并不是使菲右娜变得更正常，而是尽可能使她更独立，使她能够落实她的潜能，不论什么样的潜能。
But the culture at large does not take this open attitude about disabilities.We call congenital differences "birth defects,"as though human beings were objects on a factory line.We might offer pitying expressionswhen we learn that a colleague had a baby with Down syndrome.We hail a blockbuster film about a suicidal wheelchair user,despite the fact that actual wheelchair users tell usthat stereotype is unfair and damaging.And sometimes our medical institutions decide what lives are not worth living.Such is the case with Amelia Rivera,a girl with my daughter’s same syndrome.In 2012, a famous American children’s hospitalinitially denied Amelia the right to a lifesaving kidney transplantbecause, according to their form,as it said, she was "mentally retarded."This is the way that the story of disabilities as bad manifests
但是一般文化并没有这种对残疾的开放态度。我们把先天性的差异称为「先天的缺陷」，仿佛人类是工厂生产线上的物品。当我们听说有个同事生了个唐氏症的婴儿，我们或许会表示同情。我们吹捧关于坐轮椅的自杀者的商业大片，尽管真实坐轮椅的人告诉我们刻板的印象不公平且有害。有时我们的医疗机构决定什么生命值不值得活。就像艾米莉雅 · 里维拉的例子，她和我的女儿有同样的症状。起初一所美国儿童医院在 2012 年拒绝为艾米莉雅移植救命的肾脏，因为根据他们的病历，她是「智障」。这是文化对身心障碍者的故事的糟糕体现。
But there’s a surprisingly insidious counterstory --the story, especially, that people with intellectual disabilities are goodbecause they are here to teach us something magical,or they are inherently angelic and always sweet.You have heard this ableist trope before:the boy with Down syndrome who’s one of God’s special children,or the girl with the walker and the communication devicewho is a precious little angel.This story rears its head in my daughter’s lifearound Christmastime,when certain people get positively giddyat the thought of seeing her in angel’s wings and a haloat the pageant.The insinuation is that these people don’t experience the sticky complexitiesof being human.And although at times,especially as a baby,my daughter has, in fact, looked angelic,she has grown into the type of kidwho does the rascally things that any other kid does,such as when she, at age four,shoved her two-year-old sister.My girl deserves the right to annoy the hell out of you,
令人惊讶的是也有阴险的反面说法，尤其是美好的心智障碍者的故事，像是：他们来到世间是为了要教我们一些神奇的东西，或者他们天生像天使，总是很甜美。你以前听过这健全主义者的比喻：唐氏症的男童是神特别的孩子，或说使用助行器和通信器材的女孩是珍贵的小天使。大约圣诞节前后，这个故事又在我女儿的生命中出现，有些人想像看到她在盛会中头戴光环、身背天使的翅膀就会头晕。暗示的是他们未曾经历过或粘黏上人类的复杂。尽管有时候，尤其在她婴儿时期，我的女儿的确看起来像个天使；但她已长成像其他调皮捣蛋的孩子那样，做淘气的事，像是她六岁时猛推两岁的妹妹。我女儿有权让你恼怒，就像其他的孩子一样。
When we label a person tragic or angelic,bad or good,we rob them of their humanity,along with not only the messiness and complexity that that title brings,but the rights and dignities as well.My girl does not exist to teach me thingsor any of us things,but she has indeed taught me:number one, how many mozzarella cheese sticksa 22-pound human being can consume in one day --which is five, for the record;and two, the gift of questioning my culture’s beliefsabout what makes a life goodand what makes life bad.
当我们把人贴标为可怜或可爱，坏或好，我们就剥夺了他们的人性，剥夺的不只是连同标签的杂乱、复杂，还有权利和尊严。我的女儿不是生来教我，也不是来教其他任何人功课，但她的确教了我：第一，一个 22 磅的人一天能吃掉多少根莫扎里拉起司棒。答案是五根。第二，她让我得以怀疑我的文化信仰，什么使生命美好，什么使生命不好。
If you had told me six years agothat my daughter would sometimes use and iPad app to communicate,I might have thought that was sad.But now I recall the first day I handed Fiona her iPad,loaded with a thousand words,each represented by a tiny little icon or little square on her iPad app.And I recall how bold and hopeful it felt,even as some of her therapists said that my expectations were way too high,that she would never be able to hit those tiny targets.And I recall watching in awe as she gradually learnedto flex her little thumband hit the buttons to say words she loved,like "reggae" and "cheese"and a hundred other words she loved that her mouth couldn’t yet say.And then we had to teach her less-fun words, prepositions --words like "of" and "on" and "in."And we worked on this for a few weeks.And then I recall sitting at a dining room tablewith many relatives,and, apropos of absolutely nothing,Fiona used her iPad app to say,poop in toilet.
如果六年前你告诉我我的女儿有时会用 iPad app 来沟通，我可能会认为那很可悲。但现在回想我给菲右娜iPad 的头一天，iPad 里面放了一千个字，每个字用一个小小的图标或方块代表。我犹记得当时觉得胆壮和有希望，即使某些治疗师认为我过于乐观，即使那些是微小的目标，她也达不到。我回想赞叹地看着她慢慢地学会弯曲她的小拇指，碰触那个说出她喜爱字汇的按钮，像是「雷鬼」、「乳酪」，以及其余几百个她喜爱，但是仍然有口难言的字汇。我们也得教她不那么有趣的字汇和介系词，像是 "of"、"on" 和 "in"。我们练习了几个星期，然后我记得坐在餐桌旁，有许多亲戚在座，毫无疑问地，菲右娜用她的 iPad app 说出了：「马桶里有大便。」
(Laughter)
（笑声）
Good or bad, hard to say.
好或坏，很难讲。
(Laughter)
（笑声）
My kid is human, that’s all.And that is a lot.
我的孩子是人，仅仅如此。那就够了。
Thank you.
谢谢。
(Applause)
（掌声）
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