TED英语演讲视频：避免心碎，我们是否可以不谈恋爱？
演说者：Dessa
演说题目：我们是否可以选择不谈恋爱？
克服心碎的最好方法是什么？说唱歌手兼作家Dessa偶然看了一篇关于恋爱的TED演讲后，想出了一个非传统的解决方法。随后她与一位神经学家合作，试图让自己的大脑摆脱对前任的爱，并分享了她在这一过程中获得的浪漫智慧~
Hello, my name is Dessa, and I'm a member of ahip-hop collective called Doomtree. I'm the one in the tank top. And I make myliving as a performing, touring rapper and singer.
大家好，我叫黛莎，是一个名为Doomtree的嘻哈团体的成员。我是穿背心的那个。我以巡演表演为生，是一位独立歌手，也是说唱歌手。
When we perform as a collective, this is what ourshows look like. I'm the one in the boots. There's a lot of jumping. There's alot of sweating. It's loud. It's very high-energy. Sometimes there areunintentional body checks onstage.
我们的集体表演就是这样子。我是其中一人穿着靴子的。表演中有很多地方要跳跃和出汗；是非常高能量的消耗和喧闹。偶尔在舞台上身体会互相阻挡。
Sometimes there are completely intentional bodychecks onstage. It's kind of a hybrid between an intramural hockey game and aconcert. However, when I perform my own music as a solo artist, I tend togravitate towards more melancholy sounds.
又有时候会有身体的故意互相碰撞，有点像校内音乐会和曲棍球比赛的混合。然而当我作为一个独唱的艺术家，更倾向于呈现忧郁的声音。
A few years ago, I gave my mom the rough mixes of anew album, and she said, "Baby, it's beautiful, but why is it always so sad?""You always make music to bleed out to." And I thought, "Who areyou hanging out with that you know that phrase?"
几年前，我给母亲一张混音的新专辑，她说，“宝贝，歌很美，但为什么总是那么忧伤？”“你总是创作渗出悲凉的音乐。”我想，“你是和谁一起学会用到这个词组？”
But over the course of my career, I've written somany sad love songs that I got messages like this from fans: "Release newmusic or a book. I need help with my breakup." And after performing andrecording and touring those songs for a long time, I found myself in a positionin which my professional niche was essentially romantic devastation.
在我的职业生涯中，写了非常多忧伤的爱情歌曲，以致常常收到这样的信息：“尽快出新音乐或书籍，帮助我分手。”在演出，录制音像和巡演了很长一段时间之后，我发现自己的专业定位是完全摧毁浪漫。
What I hadn't been public about, however, was thefact that most of these songs had been written about the same guy. And for two years,we tried to sort ourselves out, and then for five and on and off for 10.
然而我并没有公开，这些歌曲大部分都是和同一个人有关的。有两年，我们两人试图梳理我们之间的问题，然后是五年，并断断续续十年了。
And I was not only heartbroken, but I was kind ofembarrassed that I couldn't rebound from what other people seemed to recoverfrom so regularly. And even though I knew it wasn't doing either of us anygood, I just couldn't figure out how to put the love down.
我不只是心碎，而且有点尴尬，因为我没办法像其他人一样，惯常的恢复过来。我知道这对我俩都没有好处，我只是不知道如何把那爱放下。
Then, drinking white wine one night, I saw a TEDTalk by a woman named Dr. Helen Fisher, and she said that in her work, she'dbeen able to map the coordinates of love in the human brain. And I thought,well, if I could find my love in my brain, maybe I could get it out. So I wentto Twitter.
有一天，在喝了一夜的酒之后，我看了海伦·费雪女博士的TED演讲，她提到她已经能够绘制出人类大脑中恋爱的坐标。于是我想，如果我可以在大脑中找到我的恋情所在，也许可以把它拿出来。所以我上了推特。
"Anybody got access to an fMRI lab, like atmidnight or something? I'll trade for backstage passes and whiskey." Andthat's Dr. Cheryl Olman, who works at the University of Minnesota's Center forMagnetic Resonance Research.
“无论是午夜或任何时候，谁有进入功能磁共振实验室的许可？我会用后台通行证和威士忌交换。”那是谢丽尔·奥尔曼博士，她在明尼苏达大学的磁共振研究中心工作。
She took me up on it. I explained Dr. Fisher'sprotocol, and we decided to recreate it with a sample size of one, me. So I gotdecked out in a pair of forest green scrubs, and I was laid on a gurney andwheeled into an fMRI machine.
她接受了我的邀请。我解释了费雪医生的治疗方案，商议后决定用我，这唯一一个样本做这个试验。我穿了一身森林绿色的衣服，躺在轮床上，然后被推入功能磁共振仪里。
If you're unfamiliar with that technology,essentially, an fMRI machine is a big, tubular magnet that tracks the progressof deoxygenated iron in your blood. So it's essentially figuring out what partsof your brain are making the biggest metabolic demand at any given moment.
如果你对那个技术不太熟悉，功能磁共振仪基本上是一个大型的管状磁铁，可以跟踪血液中缺氧铁的变化。它会弄清楚你大脑的哪一部分，在给定时刻有最大的新陈代谢需求。
And in that way, it can figure out which structuresare associated with a task, like tapping your finger, for example, will alwayslight up the same region, or in my case, looking at pictures of yourex-boyfriend and then looking at pictures of a dude who just sort of resembledmy ex-boyfriend but for whom I had no strong feelings.
由此计算出大脑哪个部分跟某一身体活动相关联，比如重复轻敲你的手指，总能点亮同一的区域，或者在我的例子中，望着我前男友的照片一段时间，然后看一张有点像我前男友的照片，但我对这人没有强烈的感情；
He was the control. And when I left the machine, wehad these really high-resolution images of my brain. We could cleave the twohalves apart. We could inflate the cortex to see inside all of the wrinkles,essentially, in a view that Dr. Cheryl Olman called the "brain skinrug."
这是对照实验。当我离开仪器，他们得到了我大脑非常高解析度的图像。他们可以将我的大脑成像分成两半，可以使皮质膨胀，看到所有皱纹，这就是谢丽尔·奥尔曼博士所说的“大脑外皮地毯”。
And we could see how my brain had behaved when Ilooked at images of both men. And this was important. We could track all of theactivity when I looked at the control and when I looked at my ex,
and it was in comparing these data sets that we'd beable to find the love alone, in the same way that,
当我分别看这两个男人的照片时，我的大脑有不同反应。这点很重要。这样可以追踪我的所有脑部活动，包括我看到前男友及对照男士的情况，然后通过对比这两种情况的数据集，就能够寻找我的所爱是谁；
if I were to step on a scale fully dressed and thenstep on it again naked, the difference between those numbers would be theweight of my clothing. So when we did that data comparison, we subtracted onefrom the other, we found activity in exactly the regions that Dr. Fisher wouldhave predicted.
跟我穿着衣服站在体重秤上，然后裸体站在秤上的道理类似，这些数据的差异就是我衣服的重量。所以当做了那些数据比较之后，我们找到了有用的结果，实验发现活跃的领域正好就在费雪医生预测的地方。
That's me. And that's my brain in love. There wasactivity in that little orange dot, the ventral tegmental area, that kind ofloop of red is the anterior cingulate and that golden set of horns is thecaudates.
那是我。那是我恋爱的大脑。那个小橘点是在中脑的活动，位于腹侧被盖区，那红色的环是前扣带，那对金色的角就是尾状核。
After she had had time to analyze the data with herteam and a couple of partners, Andrea and Phil, Cheryl sent me an image, asingle slide. It was my brain in cross section, with one bright dot of activitythat represented my feelings for this dude.
她与团队成员，包括安德里亚和菲尔，花了些时间分析了数据之后，谢丽尔给我发来一张图片。是我大脑的横截面，这个亮点代表脑部活动，是我对这家伙的感情。
And I'd known I was in love, and that's the wholereason I was going to these outrageous lengths. But having an image that provedit felt like such a vindication, like, "Yeah, it's all in my head, but nowI know exactly where."
我知道我在恋爱中，这就是我很漫长的反常现象。我感觉这张照片是一种确认，就像，“一切都在我的脑海里，现在找到正确的位置了。”
And I also felt like an assassin who had her mark.That was what I had to annihilate. So I decided to embark on a course oftreatment called "neurofeedback." I worked with a woman namedPenijean Gracefire, and she explained that what we'd be doing was training mybrain.
我也觉得自己像个刺客，身上带着标记；那是我必须除去的。所以我决定参加一项治疗课程，称为“神经反馈”。我和佩尼琴·格雷斯菲尔女士合作，她解释道只需要做那些用来训练我大脑的事情，
We're not lobotomizing anything. We're training itin the way that we would train a muscle, so that it would be flexible enoughand resilient enough to respond appropriately to my circumstances.
无需进行脑叶切开术；用类似训练肌肉的方法来训练我的大脑，让它有足够的灵活性和弹性，来应对我的处境，做出适当的反应。
So when we're on the treadmill, we would anticipatethat our heart would beat and pound, and when we're asleep, we would ask thatthat muscle slow. Similarly, when I'm in a long-term, viable, loving romanticrelationship, the emotional centers of my brain should engage,
当我们在跑步机上会预期心脏砰砰跳动，而当我们睡觉时，会让心跳慢下来。同样，当我处于一段长期、可维持、充满爱的浪漫关系中，我大脑的情感中心会参与其中，
and when I'm not in a long-term, viable, emotional,loving relationship, they should eventually chill out. So she came over with aset of electrodes just smaller than a dime that were sensitive enough to detectmy brainwaves through my bone and hair and scalp.
而当我不处于一段长期、可维持、激情的恋爱关系中时，大脑的情感中心最终会冷静下来。佩尼琴带来了一套比一角硬币还小的电极，敏感度足以穿透头骨，头发和头皮、侦测我的脑电波。
And when she rigged me up, I could see my brainworking in real time. And in another view that she showed me, I could seeexactly which parts of my brain were hyperactive, here displayed in red; hypoactive,here displayed in blue;
当我佩戴上了电极，就可以实时检测我的大脑活动。同时她给我看的另一幅图，可以清楚看到我大脑哪些部分极度活跃，就是红色的部分；不活跃的，用蓝色来表示；
and the healthy threshold of behavior, the greenzone, the Goldilocks zone, which is where I wanted to go. And we can, in fact,isolate just those parts of my brain that were associated with the romantic regulationthat we'd identified in the Fisher study.
以及健康的行为门槛，就是绿色和金色的区域，那是活跃区要改变的颜色。事实上，在我大脑中可以识别出在费雪研究中发现与浪漫规则相关的部分。
So Penijean, several times, hooked me up with allher electrodes, and she explained that I didn't have to do or think anything. Ijust essentially had to hold pretty still and stay awake and watch. So I did.And every time my brain operated in that healthy threshold, I got a little runof harp or vibraphone music.
有几次，佩尼琴给我接上了所有的电极，她指示我什么都不用做，不用想。我只要保持安静，保持清醒，只是观察着。我这样做了。每次我的大脑在那个健康的阈值中运行，都是听到一些竖琴或电颤琴音乐。
And I just watched my brain rotate at roughly thespeed of a gyro machine on my dad's flat-screen TV. And that wascounterintuitive. She said the learning would be essentially unconscious. Butthen I thought about the other things I had learned without actively engagingmy conscious mind.
我总是从父亲的平板电视上看到大脑在以陀螺的速度旋转。那是违反直觉的。她说这种学习基本上是无意识的。但后来我又想到，我在没有意识的情况下学到的其他东西。
When you ride a bike, I don't really know what,like, my left calf muscle is doing, or how my latissimus dorsi knows to engagewhen I wobble to the right. The body just learns.
当你骑自行车时，我并不确切知道我的左小腿肌肉在做什么，或者我的背阔肌在我向右摇晃时会如何配合。身体自然就学会了。
And similarly, Pavlov's dogs probably don't know alot about, like, protein structures or the waveform of a ringing bell, but theysalivate nonetheless because the body paired the stimuli.
同样，巴甫洛夫的狗可能不太了解蛋白质结构或铃声的波形，但它们还是会分泌唾液，因为那身体与刺激的配对。
Finished the sessions, went back to Dr. CherylOlman's fMRI machine, and we repeated the protocol, the same images -- of theex, of the control and, in the interest of scientific rigor, Cheryl and herteam didn't know who was who, so that they couldn't influence the results.
我完成了课程，回到谢丽尔·欧曼博士的功能磁共振仪器，继续之前的医疗实验计划，同样的照片--一张前男友，一张对照组的，为了科学的严密性，谢丽尔和她的团队不知道照片上分别是谁，所以他们不能影响结果。
And after she had time to analyze that second set ofdata, she sent me that image. She said, "Dude A's dominance of your brainseems to essentially have been eradicated. I think this is the desiredresult," comma, yes, question mark. And that was the exactly the desiredresult.
在她花时间分析了第二次数据后，她送来了那张图像。她说，“主导你大脑的那个家伙基本上被根除了。是我们期望的结果。”事件告一阶段了，但为什么？那确实是我们预期的结果。
And finally, I allowed myself a moment tointrospect, like, how did I feel? And in one way, it felt like it was the sameinventory of feelings that I'd had at the outset. This isn't "EternalSunshine of the Spotless Mind." The dude wasn't a stranger.
最后，我让自己反省，比如，我当时是什么感觉？在某种程度上，这感觉和我一开始的感觉是一样的。这不是《美丽心灵的永恒阳光》。那家伙不是陌生人。
But I'd had love and jealousy and amity andattraction and respect and all those complicated feelings that you amass afterlong-term love. But it felt like the benevolent feelings had risen to thesurface, and the feelings of fixation and the less-generous feelings weren'tquite so present.
但是，他曾经激起过我的爱、嫉妒、亲密、爱慕和尊重，以及在长期的恋爱之后所积累的所有那些复杂的情感。然而就像仁慈的心已经浮出水面，那固执不愿意慷慨付出的感情已经没有那么明显了。
And that sounds like a small thing in some way, thisresequencing of feelings, but to me it felt like the biggest thing. Like, if Itold you, "I'm going to anesthetize you, and I'm also going to take outyour wisdom teeth," it would really matter to you the sequence in which Idid those two things.
听起来似乎没什么大不了，但这种情感的重新排序，对我而言，是天大的事情。就好像我告诉你，“我要麻醉你，并打算拔掉你的智齿，”我做这两件事情的顺序对你很重要。
And I also felt like I'd had this really unusualphilosophical privilege to understand love. The lab offered to 3D-print mycaudate. I got to hold love in my hand. And then I bronzed it, and I made itinto a necklace and sold it at the merch table at my shows.
并且我也感觉到我有这种不同寻常的哲学特权去理解爱情。实验室提供了我的尾状核的3D打印模型，我要把爱情握在手里。它已被涂成古铜色，做成了一条项链，在我秀场的购物桌上卖掉了。
And then, with the help of a couple of friends backin Minneapolis, one of them Becky,we made an enormous disco ball of it -- that coulddescend from the ceiling at my big shows.And I felt like I'd had the opportunity to betterunderstand love, even the compulsive parts.
然后，在明尼阿波利斯几个朋友的帮助下，其中之一是贝基，我们参照它做了一个巨大的迪斯科球--可以在我的大型演出上从天花板上掉下来。我感觉我借着这个机会更好的理解了爱情，即便是必须要经过苦恋的部分。
It isn't a neat, symmetrical Valentine's heart. It'sbodily, it's systemic, it is a hideous pair of ram's horns buried somewheredeep within your skull, and when that special boy walks by, it lights up, andif he likes you back and you make each other happy, then you fan the flames.
它不是一颗条理有序情人节的心。它是有身体的、系统的、仿佛一对丑恶的公羊角，埋在你的头骨深处，当那个特别的男孩经过时，它就会亮起来，如果他也喜欢你，你们会让彼此快乐，那么你煽起火焰。
And if he doesn't, then you assemble a team ofneuroscientists to snuff them out by force. Thanks.
如果他不喜欢你，就去召集一组神经科学家，用武力将它们消灭。谢谢。
THE END
322篇Ted英文演讲视频集合，收藏~57篇经典BBC纪录片合集，收藏学习吧！
《纽约时报》年度十大好书，2019最值得看的英文书单！
54部经典经典英文名著合集，收藏贴~20部学英语必看的电影，每一部都是经典290篇双语阅读美文大合集，mark~