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TED英文演讲:我喜欢,那个敏感的自己

提到“高敏感人群(HSP)”,你会想到什么?害羞、内向、情绪化?相处起来需要小心翼翼?敏感常被认为是性格缺陷,作为HSP的Elena Herdieckerhoff曾经也因为敏感陷入自卑,直到后来她发现,内心敏感的人并不软弱,而是拥有被严重忽略的天赋!演讲中,她将为我们介绍HSP的核心特点与优势,并号召大家一起做出改变,让敏感的人也能发挥出其温柔的力量!

演讲者:Elena Herdieckerhoff

HSP大使,企业家、企业培训师和TEDx演讲者的商业导师,是一位备受赞誉的TEDx演讲者,在YouTube上有超过200万的点击量。她热衷于分享关于生活、商业和创业中高度敏感和同理心的赋权信息。


TED视频

https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?width=500&height=375&auto=0&vid=l3041rg0njb


TED演讲稿

I'm a highly sensitive person. What is the first thing you think about when I tell you that? That I must be shy and introverted? Or perhaps very emotional? Or maybe even that you need to walk on eggshells around me?

我是一个极度敏感的人。听到这个你的第一反应是什么?认为我害羞而且内向?或者非常情绪化?或者在我身边要一定要小心翼翼?


The common assumption about highly sensitive people is that we are somehow weak and fragile creatures who picked a losing ticket in the genetic lottery of life. You can see this in action when you google the word "sensitive."对于极度敏感人群,一般的猜测是他们有点脆弱,有点弱不禁风,在生命竞争中没有抽到一手好牌。你谷歌一下“敏感”这个词就能明白。
You will see images of toothache, irritated skin, wilted dandelions, and crying people. Sensitivity clearly has a PR problem. Today I want to help change that. Maybe by now you're wondering what is it like to be highly sensitive?你会搜到一些图,比如牙疼,皮肤病,枯萎的蒲公英和流泪的人。敏感看来很不招人待见。今天我想改变这种情况。你们也许感到好奇,极度敏感到底是什么样子?
I invite you to imagine living with all your senses on high alert. You also have a vivid inner world, where all of your emotions are magnified. Sadness is a deep sorrow, and joy is pure ecstasy. You also care beyond reason and empathize without limits. Imagine being in permanent osmosis with everything around you.想象一下,你的所有感觉时刻处于高度戒备。你还拥有丰富的内心世界,所有的情绪会被放大。悲伤就痛彻心扉,开心就欣喜若狂。你会没来由的过于在乎,同情起来也没有底线,身边的一切无时无刻不在影响你。
Highly sensitive people often hear things like: "You are too sensitive," "Stop taking everything to heart," or my favorite, "You should really toughen up." The fundamental message is clear: to be highly sensitive is to be highly flawed. I used to agree with that. I always thought I should come with some sort of warning sign or a disclaimer: "careful; highly sensitive."极度敏感人群经常会听到的话是:“你太敏感了,”“别老是伤春悲秋的,”还有一句是我的最爱,“你真该更强硬一些。”中心意思很明确:极度敏感是一种缺陷。我曾经也一度这么认为。我老想在身上贴个警告牌或者带个免责声明,“注意,此人极度敏感。”
Now, let me share with you a few of the perks of being a highly sensitive person. For one, I have an intensely overactive mind, which means it's impossible to switch off. That also means that insomnia is my best friend. As you can imagine, that is particularly handy the night before a TED talk.接下来,我想跟大家分享身为极度敏感人群的一些好处。首先,我思维非常活跃,完全停不下来。因此失眠是我最好的朋友。这一点在准备TED演讲的晚上尤其有用。
Also I cannot watch scary or violent movies because the images haunt me forever I remember when I was a child, I watched the movie "Jaws". It traumatized me so much that I was unable to go near a swimming pool, let alone the sea, for several years.同时我也不能看恐怖或者暴力电影,因为那些图像会永远浮现在我眼前。我记得小时候去看了《大白鲨》。它对我的创伤如此之重,以至于很多年以来,我都不敢靠近游泳池,更别说去海边了。
And, embarrassingly enough, I do my childhood nickname of "Princess of the Pea" proud when it comes to traveling and hotel beds. The mattress should be not too hard, not too soft; it has to be just right. My father once jokingly recommended that I should simply start traveling with my own bed and pillow to avoid any future travel hassles.而且,说来惭愧,当我旅行住酒店的时候,我把小时候的外号“豌豆公主”表现得淋漓尽致。床垫不能太硬,也不能太软,要刚刚好。我父亲有一次跟我开玩笑说,为了避免再次发生旅行冲突,下次我应该带上自己的床和枕头。
I often wondered, "what good could it possibly do me to be this way?" Well, the gifts of sensitivity slowly crept up on me. I've come to learn to love that I deeply and easily connect with others and also that I have a strong intuition that guides me like an infallible GPS.我经常在想,“我这样的人到底有什么好?”慢慢地,敏感的好处显现出来了。我发现自己容易与人交往,而且直觉强烈,就像永远可靠的GPS指引我前行。
It was only at the age of 25 that I came across a book that changed my life: "The Highly Sensitive Person" by Dr. Elaine Aron. I could finally put a name to my overwhelmingly technicolor experience of life, and it gave me hope that there were others like me.早在25岁那年,我读到一本书,从此改变我的人生:伊莱恩·亚伦博士所著的《高度敏感的人》。我终于找到一个词来定义我异常绚烂多彩的人生,而这给了我希望,因为我发现自己还有同类。
In this book she describes highly sensitive people, or in short HSPs, as people who have a genetic trait of sensory processing sensitivity. That's quite a mouthful. And, surprisingly, 15 - 20% of the population is HSP.在这本书中,她将高度敏感的人,简称HSP,解释为“具有感觉处理敏感性基因特点的人”,讲起来很拗口。令人吃惊的是,有15—20%的人是极度敏感的。
Now, she uses the wonderful acronym "DOES" to summarize the core traits of HSPs. The "D" stands for "depth of processing". As HSPs, we have a phenomenal ability to deeply analyze absolutely everything. My favorite example for this is what I call "Chinese restaurant syndrome."她用DOES这个缩略语来概括HSP的核心特点。“D”代表“深度处理”。作为HSP,我们有一种特殊技能,几乎可以对一切事物进行深度分析。我有一个很棒的例子来说明这一点,叫“中餐厅综合症”。
Basically, we can take up to an hour to read the entire 40-page menu, despite the fact that we will very likely order our favorite dish anyway. (Laughing) The "O" stands for "overstimulation". We get quickly overwhelmed by the world around us.基本上,我们可以花一个小时读完整整40页菜单,尽管每次到最后,我们都只点喜欢的那几样。“O”代表“过度刺激”。我们经常会被周遭的事物淹没。
Now, I'm Bavarian and I love our Oktoberfest, but I actually have to leave after an hour because I get completely overpowered by the mix of roast chicken smells with candy floss, and the cacophony of songs and the massive crowds. It is too much for my senses.我是巴伐利亚人,我喜欢慕尼黑啤酒节,但我在那最多只能待1个小时,再多我就会彻底崩溃,我受不了烤鸡肉和棉花糖混合的味道,还有喧闹的人群和震耳欲聋的音乐。这些对我的感官而言负担太重。
The "E" stands for "empathy"; HSPs feel what others feel. It's like that old Hebrew saying: "When one cries, the other tastes salt." Lastly, the "S" stands for "awareness of subtleties". HSPs are like a finely tuned sensor; they can pick up on the minutest things.“E”指的是“感同身受”, HSP总能感受到别人的感受。就像希伯来语一句古话说的:“见你流泪,我亦悲伤。”最后,“S”指的是“洞察力”。HSP就像精密传感器,能捕捉到最细小的事物。
Unfortunately, that means that they are also the kind of people who will wake you up at three A.M. to tell you that they hear a tap dripping in the kitchen two floors down. As you can see, being an HSP is about far more than emotional reactivity. I would like to address the two big elephants in the room when it comes to HSP stereotypes.但不幸的是,他们也可能会在凌晨3点叫醒你,说听到两层楼下的厨房里,水龙头在滴水。如大家所见,HSP的特点不仅仅是情绪反应。我想指出两件显而易见的事情,它们都是对于HSP的成见。
The first assumption is that HSPs must be undercover introverts that wanted a fancier name. The fact of the matter is, 30% of HSPs are actually extroverts, which means we cannot park them in the convenient "quiet wallflower" category, HSPs come in many shades of pastel.第一件,所有的HSP其实都是内向的人说自己敏感,是因为那样比较好听。但实际情况是,有30% 的HSP实际上是外向性格的人,我们不能简单将他们归于“安静的壁花小姐”那一类。HSP是多种多样的。
Secondly, because of the supposed femininity of HSP traits, many assume that HSPs are women. It may come as a surprise that 50% of HSPs are, in fact, men. In our society, men are not supposed to be sensitive but aggressive and competitive. Sadly, the notion that men can be both sensitive and strong is still too much of an alien concept.第二点,因为HSP有许多特点被误认为是偏女性化的,所以大家认为HSP都是女性。但令人惊讶的是,实际上有50%的HSP是男性。在我们的社会里,男人不该是敏感的,而应该是好斗的,乐于竞争的。可悲的是,认为男性既可以敏感又可以强硬的观念目前还只是天方夜谭。
Now, it is a good time to tell you that I don't think HSPs are better or worse than anyone else; they are simply different. I would also like to point out that despite the rumors, that they are not members of "The Special Snowflake Society", and also, HSPs don't have a secret handshake to identify each other either. HSPs are like everyone else except that they experience the world in a more vivid way.我想告诉大家的是,我并不认为HSP比别人更好或者更坏,他们只是与众不同而已。我还想指出一点,他们并不是什么神秘组织的成员,互相之间也没有什么接头暗号。HSP跟其他人没什么区别,只不过他们眼中的世界更加绚丽多彩。
And if you think that all HSPs are alike, that is not true; no two HSPs are the same. Every HSP has their own unique sensitive fingerprint alongside other identity markers like gender, ethnicity, and cultural and personal background.但如果你认为所有的HSP都是相似的,那你就错了,他们各有不同。每一个HSP都有自己特有的敏感特征,就像其他的身份标签一样比如性别、种族、文化和个人背景。
I would also like to point out that being an HSP is not an illness, and it is also not a choice. It is a genetic trait. We are essentially born to be mild. Every time you tell an HSP they are "too sensitive", it's like telling someone with blue eyes that their eyes are too blue. Chances are, no matter how often you tell them, you'll still have the same blue eyes looking back at you.还有一点,身为HSP并不是一种疾病,而且也不是我们自己选的。这些特点是与生俱来的。我们生来如此。每次你告诉一个HSP,他(她)“太敏感”了,就像告诉一个蓝眼睛的人,他(她)的眼睛太蓝了一样。结果就是,无论你说多少次,他们还是会用那双蓝眼睛注视着你。
As a society, we have come to think of sensitivity as a flaw; an unfortunate, emotional Achilles heel, that tempers with our ability to become ever more optimized, detached, and robotic. We all too readily belittle the idealists, the dreamers, and the creators.在社会生活中,我们可能会把敏感看成一种缺陷,是一种不幸的、情绪化的致命弱点,阻止我们变得更加优化,超然和机器人化。我们太容易轻视理想主义者、梦想家和创造者。
This was, however, not always the case. In previous centuries, philanthropists, philosophers, poets, artists, and painters were all venerated for their sensitive contribution to society. Who would we be without Leonardo Da Vinci or without a Mozart? Without Anaïs Nin or Balzac? Or Mother Teresa or Ghandi? Our world would certainly be a shade darker.但以前我们并不是这样的。在过去,慈善家、哲学家、诗人、艺术家和画家,受到崇拜,因为他们用自己的敏感为社会做贡献。我们人类会变成什么样?如果没有达芬奇,没有莫扎特,没有阿内丝·尼恩,没有巴尔扎克,没有特蕾莎修女,没有甘地?我们这个世界肯定会黑暗一些。
Now, I'm not suggesting that all HSPs are geniuses that shape the world. But, most HSPs have a genuine urge to create connection and meaning. Because they feel every pain they see, they want to elevate the forgotten and save the misfortunate.我并不是说所有的HSP 都是天才,都能改变世界。但是他们中的大部分都真心希望与人真诚沟通、积极生活。因为他们对所见的伤痛感同身受,想帮助弱势群体,解救不幸的人们。
When HSPs try to hide their sensitivity to fit in, we all lose. For would a society not be poorer that lacks the beating heart of sensitive creation? That discredits imagination, intuition, and empathy?当HSP为了融入社会而隐藏自己的敏感时,我们就都输了。难道一个社会不会变得更糟吗?如果没有这些敏感的、富有创造力的人?如果不重视想象力、不相信直觉和同情心?
I believe so. That is why I think we need to urgently start to accept and appreciate sensitivity for the temperature regulating effect it has on an often hot headed world. I believe we're all sensitive to different degrees and in different ways. HSPs are simply at the far end of the spectrum. That is why how we think and talk about sensitivity concerns all of us.我觉得会的。因此我才觉得我们要行动起来接受和感激这份敏感,给这个浮躁的世界降降温。我觉得每个人都是敏感的,只不过程度不同,表现形式也不一样。HSP只不过跟大家不太一样。这就是为什么我们对于敏感的看法和讨论跟每个人都有关。
We need to come together as a society to rewrite the negative cultural narrative about sensitivity, and turn it into a positive one. We need to erase the notion that sensitivity is a weakness to finally benefit from its many strengths. By doing so, we will create an environment where everybody is safe to express their softer side, not just HSPs.我们全社会应该团结一致,改变对于敏感的负面评价,传播正能量。我们要摈弃敏感是脆弱的成见,从它的众多力量中获益。这样一来,我们将创造一种环境,每一个人,不单单是HSP,都可以表现自己软弱的一面而不受到伤害。
How can we go back to creating more positive awareness and acceptance for sensitivity? On a public level, I believe the two most urgent changes need to happen in schools and workplaces.我们如何才能让敏感得到更肯定的评价,让更多的人接受?从公共层面来说,我认为在学校和工作地点有两大当务之急。
In schools, we need to better train our teachers to recognize and understand sensitive children. And for parents and teachers alike, the often well-meant desire to toughen them up, to survive in the big, mean world out there, needs to stop. We should not try to force sheep into wolves' clothing.在学校,我们需要训练老师更好地分辨和理解敏感的孩子。对父母而言也一样,那种出于好意,觉得敏感的孩子只有坚强起来,才能在巨大而残酷的世界生存下来的看法,真的需要改变了。我们要明白,强扭的瓜不甜。
On a corporate level, the system is set up to favor those with steel elbows. Because sensitive people typically are softer spoken and co-operative instead of competitive, they often get left behind on the corporate ladder.从公司层面来说,因为整个体系更利于那些有铁腕的人。因为敏感的人通常很好说话,善于合作,而不愿竞争,因此他们经常处于公司底层。
To change this, we need to create an environment where all personality types can flourish, and not just a select few. That is why I believe, for corporations, it is in their own best interest to invite sensitive people to the table. Because without sensitives they risk lacking innovation, integrity, an, ultimately, humanity.为了改变这种情况,我们需要创造一种环境,所有性格的人都能很好发展,而不单单是少数人。因此我认为,对于大企业而言,邀请敏感的人加入,最符合公司利益。如果缺少敏感的人,公司很可能会缺乏创意,不完整,甚至缺乏人性。
On a personal level, we can all make an impact simply by refraining from judging the delicate difference of the sensitives around us. The next time you feel like telling someone, "You're too sensitive!" I would ask you to stop and pause. Fill that pause with understanding. You will see that the simple act of acceptance will uplift both of you.从个人角度来讲,只要我们每个人都不要再对身边的敏感者品头论足,就能做出很大的改变。如果下次你再想说,“你太敏感了!”我想请你忍住。多理解一下他们。你会发现这种简单的接受对双方都好。
To my fellow HSPs, I say: Take heart and be unashamedly yourselves. Stop trying to toughen up. Stop hiding; you're beautiful as you are. Don't feel weird, because it's not you who can be considered wrong but rather a world in which corruption, violence, and greed are the norm.对我的HSP伙伴们,我想说:鼓起勇气,正视自己。不要强迫自己坚强起来。也不要隐藏自己,真实的自我最美丽。不要觉得自己很怪异,因为错的不是你,而是这个以腐败,暴力和贪婪为常态的世界。
As Krishnamurti said, "It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."正如克里希那穆提所说,“一个极其病态的社会是没有所谓健康的标准的。”
When I was a little girl, I loved chasing butterflies in our garden and I admired their fragile beauty. I felt a deep urge to protect them, so I decided to trap them in little mason jars filled with grass and flowers, to keep them safe with me in my room.小时候,我喜欢在花园里追蝴蝶,我欣赏它们脆弱的美丽。我有一种要保护它们的强烈愿望,于是我决定将它们养在我的玻璃罐子里,我往里装满了青草和鲜花,将它们小心翼翼地养在我房间。
I quickly understood: butterflies do not like captivity. This made me understand: they did not need to be rescued, Their colorful contribution to the natural ecosystem was exactly as it should be.但我很快意识到:蝴蝶并不喜欢被关起来。这件事让我明白:它们并不需要被拯救。它们对于自然最大的贡献,就是自己的五彩缤纷。
Similarly, HSPs should not hide away from the pain of this world in a protective incubator. It is their role to step up and share their sensitive gifts with all of us. I believe, as humans, we are all united by our experience of sensitivity and empathy. Also I don't believe you need to be an HSP to care and to make a difference.同样的,HSP也不需要藏进保温箱,来逃避这个世界的痛苦。他们需要加入我们,与我们分享敏感的天赋。我相信,作为人类,我们都经历过敏感和感同身受。而且我不认为只有HSP才能有所在乎,做出改变。
We are facing grave political, cultural, and environmental problems today. Now, more than ever, we need the contribution of sensitive minds and hearts to pave a path for troubled times ahead. The more we all allow ourselves to connect to our innate sensitive gifts, the more we can heal ourselves and the planet we live on.我们面临严重的政治问题,文化问题和环境问题。因此我们更加需要,敏感的人们贡献自己的聪明才智,与我们一道共渡难关。我们越是接受自己与生俱来的敏感天赋,我们就越能拯救自我,拯救我们居住的星球。
Inspired by John Lennon - who perhaps wrote the biggest sensitivity anthem of all times with "Imagine" - let me close by saying: Please, don't tell me I'm a dreamer, for I know I'm not the only sensitive one. Have faith that you'll join hands with me to make this world a gentler one.我的灵感来自约翰·列侬——他可能写出了有史以来对于敏感最美的颂歌,歌名叫“想象”。让我用以下的话作为结束:请不要告诉我,我是一名梦想家,因为不止我一人如此敏感。我相信你们会和我共同携手,将这个世界变得更加温柔。
Thank you.谢谢大家。
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