其他
TED英文演讲：这样做，你会更有感染力！
有感染力的人总是更受欢迎，那该如何提升感染力呢？
人际沟通专家Vanessa Van Edwards研究发现：每个人都具有感染力。通过口头语言、语气、行为、微表情、情绪等，我们都在无意识的感染他人或被他人感染。
Edwards和她的团队通过分析上千小时TED演讲者的表现，并结合人类行为、心理实验，给出了我们一些中肯的建议！只需要一些简单的改变，就能提升自己的正向感染力，给自己和他人的生活带来积极影响。
值得一提的是，除了演讲内容本身有借鉴价值外，演讲者的演讲风格也相当具有感染力，有趣有料，推荐给你！
演讲者：Vanessa Van Edwards
人际沟通专家，行为研究者，作家，专长于基于科学的人际技巧。她花了数年时间研究肢体行为、语言对于人际交往方面的影响，有现代“戴尔•卡耐基”之称。
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TED演讲稿This is me at the peak of what I like to call my plaid vest phase. Luckily, my years of social awkwardness led me to a fascinating career trying to figure out how people work.
So, what I didn’t realize is that many years ago, I would do an experiment that led me right on this stage in front of you here today.
My lab researchers and I were curious about TED Talks. We wanted to know: Why do some TED Talks go viral and others don’t?
So we embarked on a huge experiment. We analyzed thousands of hours of TED Talks, looking for patterns. I wasn’t sure if we would find anything, so we were analyzing body language, hand gestures, vocal variety. We even looked at outfit choices, which made today particularly pressure-filled.
And very quickly, there was a pattern in the data that made me curious. And after we coded more and more TED Talks, we realized there was a pattern.
Now, before I tell you what that is, I have a personal question for you, which is: when you see someone, what part of the body do you look at first? You can just call it out. What do you look at first when you see someone?
Face, eyes — so most people — shoes. They are very high.
So most people say eyes, face or mouth. But actually, when we first see someone, the first place we look is the hands. And this is left over from our caveman days. Because if we were approached by a stranger caveman, the first place we looked was the hands to see if they were carrying a rock or a spear. We wanted to know if we were safe, if they were friend or foe.
Now, this actually still remains from caveman days, and when we can’t see someone’s hands, something interesting happens. So I just did something a little mean to your brain. You should start to feel just a little bit uncomfortable. And the reason for that is when you can’t see my hands, you wonder, what is she doing back there?
And then, the longer I leave my hands behind my back, you get more and more distracted because you can’t see them. And eventually, your brain is just screaming, “Can’t she just bring her hands off from behind her back?”
And the moment I bring them back out, ahh, it feels so much better. And this is because our brain knows that if we can’t see hands, we can’t see intention.
And we found — as we compared the most viewed TED Talks side by side with the least viewed TED Talks, we found a pattern with hand gestures.
Specifically, on average, the most popular TED talkers use an average of 465 hand gestures in 18 minutes. Yes, we painstakingly counted every single one. I have 465 prepared for you today.
And the least popular TED talkers use an average of 272 hand gestures. Almost half.
What’s happening here?
So when TED speakers take the stage, they are showing you first “Friend, friend, friend.” You’ll notice when I walked onto the stage, I waved. I was saying, “Friend, friend, friend, friend.”
And the other thing that TED speakers do — see if this looks familiar. So they come onto the red dot, and they do something like this. “Today, I want to talk to you about a big idea. I am going to break it down into three different areas that are going to change your life.” Right?
So the most viral TED talkers seem to sit in the same way with these hand gestures because what they are doing is they are showing you, “I know my content so well that I can speak to you on two different tracks. I can speak to you with my words, but I can also explain my concepts with my hands.”
And this way, they underline their concepts with their words. For example, if I were to say, “Today, I have a really big idea. It’s huge.” You laugh, and you are like, “Vanessa, it’s so small, it’s not very big,” and that is because your brain gives 12.5 times more weight to hand gestures.
So today I have a really, really big idea, and I am going to explain it to you in three different ways.
My big idea is that we are contagious. Specifically, as humans, we are constantly sending and decoding body language signals. We also do this emotionally and chemically.
To explain this, I have a rather disgusting but very fascinating study. So, in this study, researchers collected sweat pads from people who ran on a treadmill. Then they collected sweat pads from skydivers on their first time skydive. Two very different kinds of sweat.
Here is the disgusting part. Then they had poor unsuspecting participants — I know — they had unsuspecting participants in the lab (sniffing) smell these sweat pads while they were in an fMRI machine.
Here’s where it gets interesting. Even though the participants had no idea what they were smelling, the ones that smelled the skydiving sweat pads had their fear response in their brain activated. In other words, they caught the fear.
This means that our emotions are contagious. Our fear is contagious. Our confidence is contagious. And this begs the big question: If our emotions are contagious, how do we make sure that we are infecting people with the right ones?
So, I believe that we can be contagious in three different ways. The first one is non-verbally.
Now, to test this idea, I did a very simple experiment in the streets of Portland, Oregon. What I did is I stood in the street, and I looked up at nothing. And I wanted to see if people would catch or mirror my non-verbal.
So you can see in this video, I stand in the streets looking at nothing, and slowly one by one …I infect people walking by. And slowly…we begin to gather a crowd.
So this poor woman, you know — she was standing there with me, and we are standing there, and remember, we’re looking at nothing. And we are standing, and I am going, how long are we going to stand here? Who’s going to break first?
And after about 40 seconds, we are looking, and she leans over and says, “Is he going to jump?”
And this experience taught me that we catch emotions, and then we create rationales for why we’ve caught that emotion.
Now, this is actually a good thing. As humans, this keeps us safe. Dr. Paul Ekman has studied something called the microexpression. It’s a universal facial expression, and he’s discovered there are seven of them. Across genders and races, we all make the same expression when we feel an intense emotion. This is the fear microexpression.
So, fear is a really important emotion because we want to catch it from someone else to warn us if something is about to go wrong. And this facial expression also keeps us safe.
So imagine for a second that you’re walking and you see a snake. Your eyelids and your eyebrows jump out of the way so you can take in as much of the environment as possible. “Is there another snake? What is my escape route?”
Then your mouth – “huh” – opens so you can take in oxygen in case you have to fight, yell for help, or flee. We make this face before we consciously realize we’ve seen a snake.
Now, what’s interesting about it is you should be starting to feel a little bit anxious. And that is because when we see other people have fear — If we saw this face in the subway, we would be like, what’s wrong? what’s going on? Because it keeps us safe.
So I want you to try it with me. Open your eyes as wide as possible. Raise your eyebrows up. Very good. Now, take in a short breath. Perfect. Do you feel anxious?
What’s interesting about facial expressions is they cause our emotions. So not only do our emotions cause our face, but our face also causes our emotions. It’s called the facial feedback hypothesis.
So when we see someone with this face, we catch their emotion, and then we are ready to fight, flee, or yell for help. Luckily, this also works with positive emotions.
So one of the faces behind me is a real happiness microexpression, and one of them is fake. So the real happiness microexpression is when the smile reaches all the way up into these upper crow’s feet muscles, those upper cheek muscles. And this is really important because, you know, when you tell a frenemy good news, and they say they are happy for you, but you know they are not really. It looks like this – “Oh yeah, I am so happy for you.”
So try the fake expression for me first. Just try this fake smile, only on the bottom half of the face. You can even go, “Uh, uh.” It doesn’t feel so good, right? It feels inauthentic.
Now, go all the way up into your eyes. So smile all the way up to the upper cheek muscles. Ah, that one should feel so much better.
What is interesting about this facial expression is it causes our own happiness. And we also catch it when we see it.
Researchers of the University of Finland looked at these two facial expressions. They had participants look at photos of people with the real happiness and fake happiness. They found that when they showed participants pictures of the real happiness smile, those emotions caught – they caught the positive emotions, and they themselves had a positive mood change.
But when they looked at the face with the fake happiness smile, they caught nothing. In other words, if we show up to events that we are ambivalent about, interact with people that we don’t really like, we become less memorable.
This doesn’t just happen in person, it also happens on the phone. So I worked with a lot of different clients, corporate clients who are on the phone all the time. They said “Vanessa, I get being happy in person, but how about on the phone?”
So we decided to do an experiment. We had participants in our lab record different versions of their hello, the first impression on the phone. We wanted to know if people could hear happiness, sadness or anger.
So we had people record different versions of their hello with happiness, sadness, anger and while power posing. We wanted to see if they would sound different.
So I want to play you two different versions of hello and see if you can guess which one is the happy hello.
Are you ready? All right.
Same person. Here is a).
(Sound recording) Hello.
Here is b).
(Sound recording) Hello.
How many people think a) is the happy hello?
How many think b) is the happy hello?
Very good.
We can hear this difference. We can hear this microexpression.
Now, I thought this was interesting, but I wanted to take it a step further. So we devised a second part of our experiment where we had participants in our lab listen to these recordings and rate that person on likeability.
We wanted to see if the happiness microexpressions or the anger microexpressions or the power posing expression did better.
Here’s what happened. After we asked people, “I do like this person a lot,” “I like this person a little,” or “I do not like this person,” we found that the happiness microexpressions across all trials for both men and women, they became more likeable.
Whereas the same persons who baited the anger or sadness microexpression were less likeable. This is the happy side effect of having your confidence be contagious. Not only do you infect someone else with that happiness, you also become more likeable.
We talked about non verbal, and I have to talk about what comes after the hello.
How do we infect confidence verbally?
So in this study we did in Portland, Oregon, we took 500 Speed-Networkers, and we asked each of these Speed-Networkers to go through a conversation starter round – eight of these rounds.
So we assigned each participant a conversation starter to have with a stranger. Then we set up cameras in all corners of the room, and we analyzed each of these speed rounds for patterns. We were looking for body language patterns: leans, nods, laughs, smiles, confidence.
We were also looking for volume differences. In a really good conversation, usually the volume goes up. In a really awkward bad conversation, there are lots of silences, the volume goes down.
And we also asked each of the participants to rate the conversation starters. We wanted to know which ones produced the highest quality of conversation.
What we found is that the conversation starters that worked centered on this little chemical called dopamine. So dopamine is the neurotransmitter that we produce when we feel pleasure or when we get a reward.
And I noticed that most of our chit-chat that we have at parties or networking events is the same. It sounds like this.
“So, what do you do?” “Where are you from?” “Live around here? Huh?”
“Well, I am going to go get some more wine. It was great talking to you.”
Those conversations happened over and over again. It was almost as if they were socially scripted. My brain was on autopilot. What we found was, is that the worst ranked conversation starters, the ones that got the lowest ratings, the ones that produced the lowest volume, the ones that got the most leans away, worst head nods, worst microexpressions, those were the ones that we use the most.
“What do you do?” “How are you?” “Where are you from?” from a physiological perspective, have no effect. No pleasure.
So what we tried was to find conversation starters that could spark or create some kind of excitement.
Can you verbally trigger dopamine?
We found that the brain is really interesting. If you ask somebody a question, it tends to look for hits and not misses. What I mean by this is if you ask someone “Been busy lately?” their brain immediately looks for all the hits of “been busy.” They think about negative things that have happened – the stress, the busyness, all the bad things in their life.
Whereas if you ask someone, “Working on any exciting recently?” their brain immediately begins to look for all the hits of “excitement.” It starts to think about the good and happy things, all the excitement that’s going on in their own life.
And that does two things. One, it creates pleasure for them. You are literally asking them to borrow excitement from other places in their life and bring it to the situation that you’re in.
And the other thing that it does is it makes you more memorable. Dr. John Medina found that dopamine, when it’s triggered in a verbal conversation, makes a mental post-it note. In other words, when you ask someone else to think of what’s exciting in their life, the happy side effect is that you become more memorable.
So here’s my big challenge for today. Instead of using the typical “What do you do?” “How are you?” and “Where are you from?” let’s banish those conversation starters forever, and let’s try ones that ask the brain to look for hits of excitement.
Try “Working on anything exciting these days?” “Have any vacations coming up?” “Anything good happened today?” I think this is the greatest gift we can give our fellow human beings.
We are asking them to flip into optimism. We are triggering dopamine and excitement and getting them off autopilot.
The last way that we are contagious is emotionally. So, this study is one of my favorites. In this experiment, they asked students to sing the song “Don’t Stop Believing” into an accuracy software.
Now, this is a very nerve-racking experiment. They are rated on vocal tone, words, and they are given no preparation.
But they did three different trials of this experiment. First, they had them just walk into the room and sing into an accuracy software.
The second group got into the room and had to say out loud, “I’m nervous.”
And the last group had to walk into the room and say, “I’m excited.”
They found with this simple reframe the nervous group got 53% accuracy, the control group got 69%, but the “I’m excited” group got 80% accuracy.
Why?
Anxiety and excitement are very similar emotions. The only difference is mindset.
So my challenge for you today is to think about how you want to infect people. When you want to harness incitement or trigger excitement: ask dopamine-worthy conversation starters; use more hand gestures; make authentic smiles; and never pick up the phone in a bad mood.
And the last thing I want to do is I want to end on a note of excitement. I want to make you really infectious.
So what we are going to do to end this talk is on the count of three, with all the energy you can muster, I want you to yell out “I’m excited.”
Are you ready? One, two, three!
“I’m excited.”
You rocked it.
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