独家 □ 二万九千英尺之谜（外四首） [美] 崔西•布琳霍尔 殷晓媛译

独家 □ 二万九千英尺之谜（外四首） [美] 崔西•布琳霍尔殷晓媛译

Original 崔西·布琳百科诗派

崔西·布琳霍尔（Traci Brimhall）：

堪萨斯州立大学创意写作副教授。著有《索达德》 (Copper Canyon, 2017)、《我们的废墟女神》(W.W. Norton, 2012)及《群鸦栖所》 (SouthernIllinois University Press, 2010)。作品发表于《纽约客》、《Slate》、《Poetry》（1912年创刊）、《TheBeliever》（该杂志五次提名国家最佳杂志奖）、《新共和》杂志（1914年创刊）及《美国最佳诗歌》等。曾获威斯康星州创意写作学院及美国国家艺术基金奖金。

二万九千英尺之谜（外四首）

[美] 崔西•布琳霍尔

殷晓媛译

□ 二万九千英尺之谜

你说婚姻必须被献祭于家庭的高台之上

但在这周的新闻上我读到一个男人

重返珠峰寻找他走失的妻子

当从你前额上洗去月光你胸腔中的斯芬克斯

便追问道 “什么只会下退而永不上溯？”

你从未学过华尔兹

那个叫做“彩虹谷” 的网站的名字取自五彩斑斓的船只

乘坐它们的登山者从来不曾

回到营地那寻妻的男人

是鲜红是橙色在谷中涨红了脸爱是如此

不足以相托的拯救者是什么如此脆弱甚至呼唤它的名字

它便会破碎他的妻子在酷寒中挣扎了两天

登山者们说回去救她风险太大她的嘴中充塞着雪花

这座山峰积攒着它白茫茫的历史她是蓝是绿

烈风穿过她眼窝时她仍在歌唱谁又能得知

他们是否有儿女那从来不是故事的一部分从来不是

我们的幸福平凡而耐久你又会我做出什么疯狂之举呢

回答吧雨水回答吧寂静

附原文：

Riddle at 29,000 Feet

You said marriage must sacrifice itself on the altar

of family, but this week I read about a man who

climbed back up Everest to find his missing wife.

I wash moonlight from your forehead and the Sphinx

in your chest asks again: What comes down but never

goes up? You never did learn how to waltz. The site

called Rainbow Valley earned its name from the bright

coats of all the climbers who never made it back

to base camp. The husband who went after his wife

is red is orange is blushing in the valley. Love is such

an unreliable savior. What’s so delicate that saying its name

breaks it? The wife lived for two days in the cold. Saving her

was too risky, climbers said. Snow collected in her mouth.

The mountain whitened its history. She is blue is green

is singing when wind rides through her sockets. Who knows

if they had children. That’s not the story. Ever, ever,

our happiness common, endurable. I ask what crazy thing

you’d do for me. Answer, the rain. Answer, silence.

□ 我亲爱的塔纳托斯[1]

谨遵所嘱

我戴上鹿角与面具

在处女地中翩翩起舞但应许之梯

并未从云霄垂下

在夷为焦土的房屋中流浪者吞吃阁楼中的蝙蝠

他们快步遁入门外的黑暗嘴里还支楞衔着这些生物的皮翅

我发现婚纱竟然毫发未损

我的乳牙绕着袖口缀成一圈

女人身体里有一只鹿烟囱里有

一只飞蛾上帝那只完好的眼睛里有一颗痣

现在火焰在桌布上熊在摇篮里

而婴儿不知去向

她是你床下的一盒骨骸

是你唇上的缝线里是月亮

是紫晶洞和六月沉甸甸蜜桃里的空腔

要踏入河流我必须学会游泳

如果狼的肋拱比人类庞大

如果死者必然漂浮我便是女巫的

第二颗心脏是盛在扁舟中的深海

译者注:

[1] 塔纳托斯（Thanatos）：古希腊神话中的死神，罗马神话对应名为Mors。睡神修普诺斯（Hypnos）的孪生兄弟，其母为黑夜女神倪克斯（Nyx）。在古希腊瓶画中，塔纳托斯的形象是一个长着翅膀、有着胡须的年纪大的男人，但有时也会被画成一个小孩或没有胡子的年轻男人。他有时会戴着头盔。他通常与他的兄弟一起运送死人的躯体。

附原文：

My Dear Thanatos,

I did what you told me to,

wore antlers and the mask, danced

in the untilled field, but the promised

ladder never dropped from the sky.

In the burned house strays ate bats

on the attic floor, and trotted out

into the dark with wings in their mouths.

I found the wedding dress unharmed,

my baby teeth sewn to the cuff.

There’s a deer in the woman, a moth

in the chimney, a mote in God’s one good eye.

The fire is on the table now, the bear is in

the cradle now, and the baby is gone.

She’s the box of bones under the bed,

the stitches in your lip, the moon and the hollow

in the geode, in peaches heavy with June.

If I enter the river I must learn how to swim.

If a wolf’s ribs are bigger than a man’s,

and if the dead float, then I am the witch’s

second heart, and I am the sea in the boat.

□ 作为摇篮曲的家庭肖像画

你父亲是慢步舞曲而我是民谣

或他是夜店而我是吧台上的特基拉六连杯

当然我也是“墨西哥炸弹”里涂的柠檬汁和撒的盐

我是蛇也是那只苹果我是一条舌头

对你父亲说——“拿走。吃下去。为了记住我。”

你父亲是八音盒里的漫长独白

而我是穿金舞鞋的塑料芭蕾女郎

你父亲是襁褓、是岩石和摇篮

他那颗啤酒肚的心脏丢掉了袜子学着发笑

你是火星我和你父亲是围绕你公转的两枚月亮

你是望远镜头捕捉到的星尘

是彗星那寒冰的长尾

你的心是一朵罂粟花——明艳、善忘

你是春天第一棵足叶草怯生生地拔节生长

它便是我请求第一颗晨星

在加速运行时高唱的“哈利路亚”

这是藏污纳垢的伊甸园被嫉妒的天使所跟踪

这是以撒的土地[1] 是刀锋的渊薮

我们是实现得不够完美的愿望——人间便是那泉井

译者注：

[1] 以撒：《圣经》人物，亚伯拉罕和妻子撒拉所生的唯一儿子，以扫与雅各的父亲。以撒断乳的日子，亚伯拉罕摆设了丰盛的宴席。其间，撒拉见夏甲的儿子以实玛利嬉笑，便要求亚伯拉罕把他们赶走。次日清早，亚伯拉罕给了饼和一皮袋水给夏甲和以实玛利，打发他们离开。夏甲打算回到埃及，却在途中别是巴的旷野迷路，皮袋的水用尽了，她把以实玛利撇在小树底下，自己离开有一箭之远的距离，相对而坐，放声大哭。神使她看见一口水井，夏甲就去将皮袋盛满了水，给孩子喝。

附原文：

Family Portrait As Lullaby

Your father is the slow dance and I am the ballad.

Or he’s the nightclub and I am six tequila shots on the bar.

I am the salt and lemon, too.

I am the snake and the apple. I am the tongue that says

to your father—Take. Eat. Do this in remembrance of me.

Your father, the monologue in the music box

and I, the plastic ballerina in gold shoes.

Your father is the swaddle, the rock, the cradle.

His potbellied heart loses its socks and learns to laugh.

You are Mars. Your father and I are its two moons orbiting.

You, stardust on the telescope’s lens

and the ice in the comet’s tail.

Your heart is a poppy—bright, forgetful.

You are the first mayapple of spring, unripe and rising.

And this is the hallelujah I asked the first star

to sing at the quickening.

This is the dirty Eden, stalked by envious angels.

This is the land of Isaac, and of knives.

We are the wish imperfectly granted, and this is the well.

□ 毫不夸张的一首情诗

我爱你就像瓢虫迷恋窗台

又像抹香鲸钟情乌贼 [1] 无论海底多深

也无法阻挡我追随你下潜我爱你一如

国际象棋中的卒爱着华贵的马

随时准备挺身而出为你阻挡象或后

甚至仿佛有知觉的车我的爱如此痴狂

我爱你甜蜜如暖房的口唇

我以舌尖吻你如此沉浸

甚至等不及褪下袜子我爱你宛如秃鹫

恋上路边全无戒备的鹿我渴望整个

缠绕在你身上我爱你可媲美伊西斯深爱奥塞里斯[2]

但她的忠诚却比我短少几寸

我训练自己的呼吸直到能读取声呐

巡回你每条迷失的血管[3] 我发誓

这份爱悖逆神性里面甚至没有一盎司痛苦

宛如鲑鱼回溯的热望为了你我竭力躲避瀑布边的灰熊

仿佛鹰隼对于摩天大楼天台

我会一直回来迷狂带着些许无助

为爱而羞涩我宁愿窝在沙发上亲吻手机上的照片

也不愿唤你从厨房出来

因为你一定正在做着超辣的食物

当你把勺子举到我唇边

问我是否刚好我会说是的每次都刚刚好

但从来没有刚好不永无止境

译者注:

[1] 抹香鲸对巨乌贼的嗜好，是一种最珍贵的海产品——龙涎香的来源。抹香鲸把巨乌贼一口吞下，但消化不了乌贼的鹦嘴。它们逐渐在小肠里形成一种黏稠的深色物质，呈块状重100～1000克，这种物质即为龙涎香。龙涎香是一种偶尔会在抹香鲸肠道里形成的蜡状物质，十分罕见，100头抹香鲸里，只有一两条有龙涎香。可做香料和药材，价格比黄金还贵，市场价每克数百元至千元不等。它因此也叫“海上浮金”。

[2] 伊西斯是宇宙的创始之神瑞 (Re) 的嫡亲后代，是奥西里斯(Osiris)的妻子与妹妹、荷鲁斯 (Horus) 的母亲。

[3] vessel：双关语，又有“船只”之意，与“声呐”呼应。

附原文：

Love Poem without a Drop of Hyperbole in It

I love you like ladybugs love windowsills, love you

like sperm whales love squid. There’s no depth

I wouldn’t follow you through. I love you like

the pawns in chess love aristocratic horses.

I’ll throw myself in front of a bishop or a queen

for you. Even a sentient castle. My love is crazy

like that. I like that sweet little hothouse mouth

you have. I like to kiss you with tongue, with gusto,

with socks still on. I love you like a vulture loves

the careless deer at the roadside. I want to get

all up in you. I love you like Isis loved Osiris,

but her devotion came up a few inches short.

I’d train my breath and learn to read sonar until

I retrieved every lost blood vessel of you. I swear

this love is ungodly, not an ounce of suffering in it.

Like salmon and its upstream itch, I’ll dodge grizzlies

for you. Like hawks and skyscraper rooftops,

I’ll keep coming back. Maddened. A little hopeless.

Embarrassingly in love. And that’s why I’m on

the couch kissing pictures on my phone instead of

calling you in from the kitchen where you are

undoubtedly making dinner too spicy, but when

you hold the spoon to my lips and ask if it’s ready

I’ll say it is, always, but never, there is never enough.

□ 亲爱的厄洛斯

我问儿子最喜欢身体的哪一部分

他回答自己的骨架而我一度以为自己

最爱脚趾头它末端四分之一骨节展开成扇形

神经系统明快而易取悦朋友的女儿

向我展示她编入旧卡片目录中的骨骼

我把每一小片放回原位以一场腐朽的钝热交换

赤裸肋骨白剌剌的亮光空无血肉的盆骨摇篮

披风上股骨沉稳的分量她与我分享对柠檬的偏爱

教我用她自编的语言说“女巫”

所以我现在有了正式称号！一个灵光闪现的名词

我让我自己背靠那些元音的坚硬腹部

一个名字的黑色铭文那种脉搏我曾感受过

当儿子在腹中翻身传到我手心那嗡嗡的低鸣

今晚那活动在指头里的木刺终于开始在肉里

越钻越深伤口比凶器还要深长

我问儿子最喜欢人生的哪一部分

他说是哭泣的时刻因为当他停止哭泣笑颜重开

那感觉如此美妙而朋友的女儿给我看

她瓷瓮中把土壤也染白的发丝细的根系

她创造了这具体而微的狂野并赋予生命

当我的婚姻分崩离析我提出照顾朋友的多肉植物

那时几近冬天一切变得

灰茫茫当它开花

我欣喜于那蓬蓬飞扬的花粉直到整个厨房

散发着腐肉和骨灰般的味道一幢房子因拮据而变成钝重

弥漫着一种我感同身受的痛觉对死亡气息的应答太过简单

我了解这些恶味熏天的黄色小星星需要什么

我打开后门让苍蝇涌向它们梦寐以求之物

附原文：

Dear Eros,

I asked my son which part of his body he loved most.

He said his skeleton. I always used to think I loved

my toes, a quarter of my bones splayed into fans,

the nerves so bright and easy to please. A friend’s daughter

showed me the bones she’d filed in an old card catalog.

I handed each one back, the dull heat of rot traded

for the glare-white of a bare rib, fleshless cradle of hip,

heft of femur on a mantle. She and I shared our love

of lemons, and she taught me witch in her made up language

so I could call myself by the proper word. The invented one.

I held myself against the hard belly of those vowels,

that black glyph of a name. The pulse I once felt

when my son turned inside me thrummed against my hand.

Tonight, the splinter I let live in my thumb finally worked

its way out of my flesh, the wound larger than the weapon.

I asked my son which part of his life he loved most.

He said crying. Because it felt so good to stop

when he was happy again. The daughter shows me

the thin hair of roots whitening the soil in a jar.

She has made this small wilderness and given it life.

When my marriage was failing, I offered to take care

of my friend’s succulent. It was almost winter. Everything

was going gray. So when the plant began to bloom,

I welcomed its dusty pollen until the kitchen smelled

like carrion and bone dust. The house grew heavy with need,

with an ache I understood. The smell of death was simple

to answer. I knew what those fetid yellow stars required.

I opened the back door to invite the flies to their desire.

2018年4月14日海上摄于王府井圣若瑟堂

译者简介

殷晓媛：“百科诗派”创始人、智库型长诗作者、“泛性别主义”写作首倡者、中、日、英、法、德多语言写作者。中国作家协会、中国诗歌学会、中国翻译协会会员。代表作有11000行长诗“前沿三部曲”、六万行结构主义长诗“风能玫瑰”、主持“2018人工智能纸魔方”（六国语版）视觉设计+行为艺术项目。出版有第四部个人诗集及第八部著作，被美国、英国、德国、法国、俄罗斯、爱尔兰、新西兰等国一百余家国家图书馆、世界顶级名校图书馆和大使馆大规模收藏。俄罗斯国家图书馆采编部部长T.V.彼得鲁先科将百科诗派著作誉为“横贯当代中国诗坛的百科诗学主义之强流”，多米尼加国家图书馆馆藏发展部部长GlennysReyes Tapia则称之为“博大文化代表、书志编纂研究瑰宝”。