不谈风月

所以今天的事情你们应该都听说了。看到不少朋友哀叹：「我们都已经自觉主动莫谈国是只谈风月了，怎么现在连风月都一并不让谈了？」图样图森破！「清楚精神污染」听说过伐？这可是打通「前三十年」和「后三十年」的关键所在。

再多的话就不说了，说多了，你懂的。几年前绿坝事件后写过一首打油诗，今天想起翻出来一看，诸如「躲猫猫」、「俯卧撑」、「亚克西」之类的梗，恐怕已经被忘得差不多了。不过那个时候，网民们居然还能成功逼退绿坝。短短几年时间而已。

A Sonnet Dedicated to an Anonymous Shitizen

shitizen = shit + citizen  屁民

O, how harmoneyous doth thy country stand,

With thy departyments carassing thee,

All naildings vanishing as hath been plann'd,

And each mathblind assign'd a sexret'ry.

harmoney = harmony + money  河蟹

departyment = department + party  有关部门

carass = caress + ass  轻拂菊花

nailding = nail + building  钉子户

mathblind 数盲

sexretary = sex + secretary  小蜜 

Enjoying freedamn thou must thank Green Dam,

And Great Fire Wall for guarding innernet,

Outside of which is evil Uncle Sam,

Whose lure of love is doom'd to be upset.

freedamn = freedom + damn  自由

innernet = inner + internet  互联网

Commit thy suihide or grasp a knife,

Or keep thy smilence facing pussy-ups:

In democrazy thou know'st this is life,

Just like a dinning table full of cups.

suihide = suicide + hide  躲猫猫

smilence = smile + silence  笑而不语

pussy-up = pussy + push-up  俯卧撑

democrazy = democracy + crazy  痴心妄想

cup 杯具

On May the Thirty-fifth have candles lit,

For fellas martyrish'd by ya-ke-shit.

yakeshit = yakexi + shit  亚克西