国家再不给分配对象，我真的只能去相亲了丨夜听双语

2018.12.16 十一月初十·周日

相亲

Parental melding in marriage matters is an integral part of Chinese culture.

宜

欢喜

悲伤

忌

2018年过完了96%，你的对象找到了吗？

是不是不管我们说多少次不要再凭本事solo了，你还是特立独行。

如果到了年底，家人都开始暗自排练催婚催育的剧本，你还没有一点准备。

是打算染个奶奶灰吸引火力，还是打算租个对象回家？

A blind date is arranged for by a mutual acquaintance of both participants, whether that person be a friend of both persons or a family member of one. The two people who take part in the blind date have never met or seen each other, thus the name blind date.

相亲由两人的共同朋友来组织，可能是两人的好友，也可能是其中一人的家人。相亲过程里的这俩人之前从来没见过，所以就有了这个名词“blind date”。

Therefore, it is the responsibility of the person who arranges the date to ensure that they are a good match. Sometimes one person is more interested in the match than the other, which may make it more difficult on the person arranging the date to judge whether the date will be successful. 

所以，相亲的组织者就要对结果是否成果负责。有时候其中一人对相亲更加有兴趣，那组织者就会需要考量相亲会不会成功。

Parents find their children blind dates in parks. Spouse-hunting fairs in big city parks by parents eager to see their children tie the knot have made parks in China a haven for relationship hunters and their parents. 

父母们都是在公园里替孩子们相亲的。这种大城市公园里的相亲大会里有很多父母，他们都迫切希望小孩赶快结婚，这样就使得这些公园变成了单身汉和他们父母的据点。

Views on marriage are rapidly changing in China, along with the way young people view their own lives and their place in society. Many young Chinese people see themselves as trapped in between generations, wanting to pursue life and their own aspirations while also feeling pressure to live up to their parents’ expectations. 

中国的婚姻观念在急剧变化，同样发生剧烈变化的还有中国年轻人的人生观和社会位置的观点。很多中国的年轻人觉得自己陷在了两代人中间，一面想要追求生活和自己的抱负，同时又有着满足父母期望的压力。

Parents started tacking posters of children's statistics onto cork boards, on umbrellas, on the ground. Every weekend, hundreds of parents and grandparents gather in one general area off subway exit nine at People's Square in Shanghai to browse the selection. Many of them will group together to chat; others diligently browse around with a pen and paper in hand.

父母们会把有孩子信息的纸钉在硬纸板上、再放到地上的伞上。每周末都有成百上千的父母和祖父母聚集在上海人民广场九号地铁口附近的一块区域，在那儿挑选对象。很多人会聚在一起聊天，其他人就会拿着纸笔认真地到处浏览。

The postings are straightforward: age, height, zodiac, weight, job, accomplishments, where their kid was born. Birthplace is rather important, as it determines where someone can get health benefits and property rights. Rarely do you see a photo, hobbies, personalities traits, and quirks.

这些纸上的信息都很直接：年龄、身高、属相、体重、工作、成就、出生地等等。出生地很重要，因为这决定了这人会在哪儿享受医疗和产权。你很少会看到照片、对爱好、性格、怪癖的描述。

Parental melding in marriage matters is an integral part of Chinese culture. Marriage in China extends far beyond romantic compatibility. Marriage also serves to codify or heighten the social status of a family. This is a practice that dates back to imperial times where weddings were arranged principally on a monetary basis. A good marriage includes financial stability for both parties.

家长们介入婚姻事务是中国文化不可或缺的一部分。中国的婚姻已经远远不限于二人的浪漫契合。婚姻同时也凝结或加强一个家庭的社会地位。这种操作可以追溯到古代帝制时期，那时候的婚姻主要还是基于财力的结合。好的婚姻包含着双方的财产稳定性。

In China, a wedding is designed more for the parents than it is for the children. It's a way to show off to business partners and friends. It's a statement event that represents how parents have done well in securing a steady and prosperous future for their children. It's always paid for and organized by the families. Familial compatibility is just as important, if not more, than a couple's dynamic.

中国的婚姻与其说是为了孩子，不如说是为了父母。孩子的结合可以被当做向生意伙伴和朋友炫耀的方式。婚姻就是一场宣言，它代表着父母有没有做好帮孩子们获得稳定有前景的未来这件事情。孩子背后的家庭通常是相亲的组织者和赞助者。双方家庭的契合度同样重要，或者说比小两口的关系更重要。

In Chinese mainland, the stakes are even higher. The one-child policy that began in the 1980s means that most of the kids of marriageable age right now are facing intense pressure from their parents to be paired off properly. After all, each household only has one child to put all their hopes and dreams on. Marriage already is such an important part of a Chinese family's reputation but parents these days only have one chance to get their future planned out right.

这种情况在中国大陆可能更甚。上世纪80年代推行的计划生育意味着，目前适婚年龄人群都面临着来自父母的强大压力，逼着他们赶紧找个合适的结婚。毕竟每个家庭都只有一个小孩来实现愿望和梦想。婚姻已然是中国家庭名声的重要组成部分，而且家长们都只有一次机会来规划好未来。

Quickly I realize the market is not so much an actual marketplace as it is a safe place where parents can congregate to soothe their anxieties and relate to each other. Walking past the umbrellas with their boastful pieces of paper, I feel a pang of guilt about coming here to gawk.

很快我就意识到人民公园并不像是一个真正的市场，因为它更像是一个安全区，父母们可以在那里聚会，缓解焦虑，与他人共情。在雨伞中走着，手里拿着家长们引以为豪的子女信息小纸片，我突然感觉到一阵儿愧疚，我不该到这儿来猎奇。

I thought back to my parents, back to when I had asked them, months ago, what would happen if I never found someone I liked.

我想起了我的父母，几个月前，那时候我问他俩，如果我一辈子都找不到喜欢的人，怎么办？

"Well then, you'll just live with us forever," my dad joked while my mom laughed, nervous but lovingly, in the background. 

我爸开玩笑说：“那，你就只能永远跟我们住在一起咯”，我妈跟着后头笑了，带着担心又充满着爱。

I spoke with some locals after my visit, and they told me the Marriage Market is also a form of socialising, for parents and grandparents to gather and speak about the wonderful tales of matchmaking successes, and their soon-to-be-pregnant daughter-in-law. While it might hold a lot of controversial traditions behind it, the atmosphere of the market really is about positive thoughts, love and encouragement from parents who just want their children to have the joy of creating a family. 

去完人民广场，我跟几个本地人聊了起来，他们告诉我，这个相亲市场也是一种社交形式，父母和爷爷奶奶们聚在一起，聊聊有料的相亲八卦，还有他们马上就要怀孕的儿媳妇儿们。或许这背后藏着许多有争议的传统，但相亲市场的氛围却是积极的，有爱，有鼓励，父母们只是想让他们的孩子们也能享受组建家庭带来的乐趣。

相亲市场风起云涌，你却可以坐在家里，看云卷云舒。

毕竟父母再怎么想帮忙，最终还是你自己的决定。

让他们操心操心，退休生活也就不那么无聊，对不对？

Notes

acquaintance: n 熟人

participant: n 参与者

tie the knot: 结婚

monetary: adj 金钱的；货币的

imperial: adj 帝国的

soothe: v 安慰；抚慰；劝慰

socialize: v （和他人）交往，交际

编辑：左卓

实习编辑：陈月华

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