Humans of China│人在中国 （第105）内蒙古裹小脚的女人

Humans of China  

人在中国

Exploring China one person at a time

一次探索一个中国人

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At around a month old I was given to another family who looked after me. They treated me very well, like one of their own daughters. She was really good to me. I grew up with one of her sons and at around 17 we started to sleep together in the same bed; but, we never married. For a long time we tried to have children but we couldn't conceive. So,at the age of about 28 we adopted 2 children, one boy and one girl. At theage of 28 I also fell pregnant with a set of twins and at the age of 28 my husband died.

I had too many kids after I gave birth to the 2 girls and couldn't support them all. So, I gave one little girl to another family in a different village. That couple had no children, and they were so happy to receive her. The little girl I kept died about a month later, but the girl I gave away survived. She came to visit me from the other family occasionally, but that was a long time ago. My biggest regret was giving the little girl away, and talking about it makes me cry. At the age of around 11 my adopted mother started to bind my feet and to this day I still use long pieces of cloth that I make to bind them. I used to know many ladies with small feet, but they have all since passed away. I think I might be the only lady left here with bound feet. I used to be able to make shoes myself but I can't anymore. My hands ache very much from the work I used to do, and no medicine can help. 

My daughter can help me make shoes, but the shoes she makes are all too big. I don't let others see my feet as I think they are ugly and it's a private thing for me. I now live with my son and his wife who take care of me. They are sometimes busy working though so in the morning they'll cook some food and then at lunch time I can heat it up for myself. My back and hips also often ache. My life was tough before and we had to carry many heavy things everyday, and slowly over time it caused me problems. I never had the chance to study. Back then many girls didn't have the chance so I can't read or write. The house I live in today was the one I lived in with the man  I grew up with so there are many memories here, but mostly sad ones. I really don't have many happy memories. Now I am 85, I can eat well and I have some nice clothes to wear. On my birthday all the family comes to visit, and for that small amount of time I feel happiness.

Inner Mongolia

我1个月左右大的时候，我父母把我送人了。我养父母对我很好，特别是我的养母，像亲生女儿一样照顾我。我和她其中一个儿子一起长大的，是发小，我大概17岁左右开始和他一起生活，但是我们从来没有结婚。我们尝试了很久想要自己的孩子，但是一直没有怀孕，所以在我快28岁的时候，我们领养了2个孩子，一个儿子一个女儿。但是在我28岁的时候，我怀了一对双胞胎，很不幸的是我丈夫也刚好在那一年去世了。我后来生了两个双胞胎女儿，一下子有了太多孩子，我一个人养活不了他们，我就把自己的双胞胎其中一个女儿送给了别的村的人，那对夫妇没有孩子，我把孩子送给他们让他们很开心。可能双胞胎在小的时候不能分开来养，所以我留下在我身边养的这个小女儿在她一个月左右大的时候就夭折了，但是送走的那个女儿还活着。她回来看过我，但是是很久以前的事了

我最后悔的事情就是把她送人，我现在说起这件事还是很难过，会流泪。在我大概11岁左右的时候，我的养母开始给我裹脚，到现在我还是会用自己织的长布裹脚。我以前认识很多裹脚的妇女，但是她们基本都去世了，我觉得我可能是这里唯一一个裹脚老太太。我以前自己做鞋子穿，但是现在做不了了，我的手很疼，因为以前干了太多的活，也没有什么药能治。我女儿能帮我做鞋，但是她做的鞋子太大了。我从来不让别人看我的脚，因为我觉得它们很丑，是很私密的事情。我现在和我儿子儿媳妇一起住，他们照顾我。他们有时候工作忙，就早上把饭做好，我中午自己加热一下就能吃。我的背和腰都很疼。以前的生活很苦，我们每天都要扛很重的东西，久而久之身体就慢慢出现问题了。我今年85岁了但我从来没读过书，我们那个年代女孩子没有机会读书写字。我现在住的房子是我和我一起长大的男人以前住的房子，有很多回忆，但是都是很悲伤的，我没有很多快乐的记忆。我现在吃的很好，还有一些好看的衣服，我生日的时候整个家族的人都来看我，这些短暂的时光让我我感到幸福。

内蒙古

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