The silent plight of the stateless-A story of a kite runner

People have been talking about peace, but people have been suffering from war. The process for human peace has not synchronized with science and technology.

A global pandemic has swept the world in 2019, proving that technology and human development sometimes cannot easily combat nature and that humans occasionally need masks and ventilators to survive. But did you know that before the onset of the pandemic, many people were already displaced from their homes, struggling to get by without medicine or support? They have to fight not only the disease but hunger, security, nationality, basic human rights, and so on. Some people may have been treated like dogs and it's not a medieval story, but a modern one.

There's a group of people who have different nationalities, different skin colors, but they all have one name in common: refugees.

September 2, 2015, Aylan Kurdi, a child refugee from Syria who was about-3 years old (no one could confirm the exact date of his birth), died near the Turkish resort of Bodrum after trying to cross the Mediterranean Sea from turkey in a life jacket he didn't know was fake. Pictures of his death made headlines around the world and broke the hearts of countless people. Two previous attempts by his father to take him across the sea to Greece had failed, and their application for asylum in Canada had been rejected. Canada argued that his family's application documents were incomplete, and some Canadian politicians later expressed regret and sympathy.

More than four years after Aylan Kurdi's death, do people even remember him? Today-in 2020, the refugee problem has not yet disappeared with the changes of time.When Aylan Kurdi died in 2015, the peak was 65.3 million. According to theUnited Nations refugee agency, the UNHCR, there are currently 25.9 million registered refugees in the Asia-pacific region. A total of 70 million people have been displaced from their homes.

After the second world war, more than 60 million people became refugees. The international community noticed the gravity of the global refugee problem and the United Nations adopted the Convention on the status of refugees in 1951."Refugee" is defined as "a person who, on the grounds of race,religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group or politicalopinion, has a well-founded fear of persecution and is unwilling or unable toreturn to or under the protection of his country of origin outside theterritory of his country of origin".

The-convention on the status of refugees is also the previous Geneva convention,which gives refugees some rights. It is very long and will not be explainedhere. In accordance with the regulations, signatories can keep refugees inasylums. China acceded to the refugee convention in 1982, 但是中国对 "granting refugeesthe rights and obligations due to them in their countries of origin." 等条例持保留意见. Indonesia, Malaysia,and Singapore are not members of the refugee convention.

International-law advocates the principle of "non-refoulment" and the principle of"international solidarity and cooperation" for refugees. The formerrequires that no state shall in any way expel a refugee or return him to aterritorial boundary where his life or freedom is in danger unless there is alegitimate reason to believe that there are other serious circumstances, such as-a danger to the security of the state in which he is located; The latterrequires that the countries of the world have a responsibility to strengthen-solidarity and cooperation in the reception, resettlement, assistance, and-protection of refugees, the apportionment of expenses in refugee affairs andthe elimination and reduction of the root causes of refugees.

Are-refugees far from our lives? It's not far at all. There are around 14,000registered refugees in Indonesia. And you might have seen them onstreets. 

Abdul Samad Haidari is a Hazara-Afghani descendent. He is a journalist, author, poet,a humanitarian aid worker but lives as a stateless refugee at the moment inIndonesia – a transit country for refugees. He has been living in Indonesiasince early 2014 as an asylum seeker first, but as a certified-refugee now –being determined by United Nation High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) in2016. 

He has authored a collection of poetry book called The Red Ribbon. Abdul isone of the 14, 000 refugees in Indonesia – half of them from Afghanistan.Having refugee status, takes a long period of time – and only after beingdetermined as a refugee, could be resettled in a third country. But Abdul hasbeen waiting for seven years and he is still not recognized vulnerable enoughto get resettled in a third country. 

I first met Abdul four years ago [in 2016] and I have neverforgotten him since then. But I didn't have his contact information four years-ago, and it took me some time to find him. After that, I went to see him as-agreed. We talked for four hours. My tape recorder had run out of power when Igot home. We went from sunset to midnight, and several times I fought back mytears and tried to laugh my way out of it. No one CARES about personalfeelings, people just want to know the truth, and some people have the opposite-understanding of the truth.

His story cannot be told in a few words, it is a story of decades, most of aperson's life.

He was left three times from Iran to Afghanistan – each time he attempted to make it to Iran. Abdul was left back to Herat, Afghanistan three times.Each time he has to leave, he had to work in the restaurant for about a coupleof weeks to make enough money to be able to make it to Kandahar and from Kandahar to Quetta, Pakistan.

He-said he would be 31-33 years old now but his exact birthday is uncertain-because there was no such thing as a birth certificate. His mother wrote allthe dates of birth in the back side of Quran that was long gone during the-war. 

(the-picture shows early Hazara people, many of whom are of Mongolian and Turkish-descent people, and some of whom look very much like Chinese.)

 After the third times Abdul has to leave, his mother did not allow him to flee to Iran again. So, he stayed in Pakistan. He started his education as every childwould. He studied English academically for seven years, and completed hissecondary education in Pakistan. He also taught there during his studies. Abdulis fluent in English. 

Abdul’s former life was not poor during his normal life in Kabul. He said, he is nothing now but just a number. Everything in his life now comes from theindividual assistance. Indonesia has not signed the 1951 convention on thestatus of refugees, so Abdul has no right to work here, no contract, and he isnot covered by the terms of the convention in Indonesia. So he thinks he is nothing here, just a human being relying on others to survive. It is not onlyme, but most of other refugees survive the same way. 

But Indonesia provided Abdul a rich humanitarian safety, so he is grateful. He has dedicated a poem about Indonesia where he describes how grateful he is from-Indonesian people. 

(the picture shows Kabul in Afghanistan, which is still not peaceful today.)

Abdul Samad Haidari was born in Dah Mardah-e Gulzar, Jaghuri, in Ghazni Provinceduring the conduct of a massacre in his village. He was raised in Dah Mardahvillage until the age of seven or eight, doing what normal children would do. His hometown was attacked d by the TLB. His sister was killed by a landing bomb whenshe was very young, and his elder brother has been shot in the right foot –between his middle toes. 

Abdul-became a refugee after war intervened, his home was attacked, it collapsed. He-became refugee. He has been wandering in Afghanistan’s neighboring countriesfor safety since then. Abdul along with his remaining family members escaped toQuetta, Pakistan, where they initially settled. He is grateful to Pakistan. Hesaid Pakistan was treating him not as a refugee but as a private citizen. Hedid not often have to be stood up in Pakistan, nor did he have to betortured. 

(photo:quetta, Pakistan)

(This photo is from internet)

 He then-fled to Iran often traveling on foot and occasionally by bus.He along with his father were held in captivity for three months in ShirazIran, and then was separated as theydidn’t have much choices.

Abdul says, when he walks out, he feels as if someone is following him; as if someoneis trying to attack him from behind with motorcycle. He feels scared. He stilldoesn’t know where his family and he lives. 

ThenI asked him why he had chosen to come to Indonesia.

He said, he did not chose the destination, but the destination chose him. He hasbeen sold out several times without him knowing – before he made itIndonesia.  

The human smugglers don't tell you where you're going, where people want togo. 

Abdul has tried to go to Dubai but failed. So, he took a boat to Jakarta, Indonesia. He had never seen the seaor been able to swim before, but he would never forget the salty, smelly smellof the water that lay behind him.

(refugee camp on the side of a road in Jakarta in 2019)

Although Indonesia is not covered by the refugee convention, it has a tradition ofsheltering refugees. However, there is not much that can be done. The UnitedNations refugee agency has offices here to help refugees. But the lives ofrefugees depend largely on their own efforts.

(photo:a refugee camp in Jakarta)

(belowis a young boy in a roadside refugee camp in Jakarta. Abdul told me he isAfghan, 2019)

Abdul met Dr. Ross Dunn through one of his former student called JinJin Xu a graduateof Amherst University in the U.S. and resident poet at New York University. Shewas visiting the Jesuit Refugee Service Schools in Bogor, outside Jakarta wherehe was teaching exclusively women refugees from five differentcontrives since 2015 as part of her research into refugees for a WatsonFoundation Scholarship. Jin Jin Xu introduced me to Dr. Ross Dunn, her formerteacher, with the idea that Dr. Ross would become my book editor.

Jin Jin Xu did not do the publishing work by herself, but she introducedAbdul to Dr. Ross Dunn, Spouse of Pam Dunn – The New Zealand Ambassadorto ASEAN. Dr. Ross is Abdul’s foster father and the editor of his poetry book.Dunn is staying in New Zealand because of the epidemic.

Abdul'seyes light up, suddenly; he became relaxed as he laughed. He is in a good moodwhen he talks about the Dunn family and Lesmina who are more close to Abdulthan his fist distant family. 

Abdul has a roof on his head now – he no longer has to sleep on the street or in abroken house with water running from the ceiling, and or share a bed withscorpions. 

Abdul said he was lucky compared to other refugees. But material life can't relief usfor psychological problems. He is suffering from high levels of both PTSD, andDepression now.

(the far right is Dr. Ross Dunn)

With the help of Dunn’s family, Lesmina, UNHCR’s Ibu Ratih Josthy Mautanha, Sandya Institute’s, lawyer Adil Surowidjojo, Tiro Daenuwy (JRS), and Illustrator CindySaja, (poetry book’s Editor was successfully published with Gramedia. The narrative reveals that many refugees are leading desperate lives and lacking hope about their future. Needless to say that refugees are groups of diverse individuals filled with their respective aspirations and expertise; however, the current legal and community structure in Indonesia greatly limits their mobility and productivity in contributing to society.

Then one day I found news about him at The Jakarta Post, that's how I found him.JinJin Xu also keeps in touch with him. Jin Jin Xu came to Jakarta for research when she meets Abdul.

It is not easy for a refugee to publish a book, and there are many things that can not be expressed through writing. I asked him why he didn't write a story but a book of poetry, which many people find difficult to understand. He said he wanted to but didn't dare. 

His book also attracted the attention of the Afghan ambassador to Indonesia – whom Abdul had interviewed him during his journalism in Afghanistan, in 2010. The UNHCR representative in Indonesia, both of them gave positive comments aboutThe Red Ribbon. The Afghan ambassador to Indonesia also expressed concern for him.

Abdul has also met with diplomats from other countries. He commented that the American Ambassador's Mie Chou Donovan was a beautiful, kind-hearted human who was full of Buddhist benevolence. Then I made a joke: it seems that diplomats love to marry Chinese? and we both laughed. He praised the President of Canada, whom he has not met, for crying in front of his people affected by COVID-19.

Abdul has a lot of sympathies, his emotions are easily amplified. He is a verysensitive person. His mood is unstable and he magnifies both sadness and happiness. He doesn't socialize often, not because he doesn't like it, but because he's worried about hurting other people, his family friends. He said that sometimes his words would hurt others. So he cares for others' feelings because he gets emotional sometimes. 

Abdul said, he wishes to give, help others instead of receiving but he has no choice. He can't work anywhere; he's dependent which makes him feel a burden. Abdul wishes to find a new home so he can serve more – in a broader context. 

(this is the mask Abdul was wearing, which I happened to find, with a few pieces of tissue paper placed inside. This is how he changed his mask!)

At the end of our conversation, Abdul kept grabbing his hand. He was talking very well at the beginning, but his tone of voice changed at the end. And it was easy for me to notice. 

He began the conversation with a great deal of enthusiasm, and then he began to get lower and lower while he tried to pull himself together, telling me that he is good to go on knowing that he seemed unwell. Several times I wondered if I had offended him. The anger, the contempt, the torture, the dark memories that I wish no one had to go through again. His heart cried out that he might never get rid of these demons. He told me that he often wanted to jump off the roof of the building, and his heart is sinking all the time. People may have given him some attention, but his heart is not his own. He feels abandoned and too weak to move on. 

(Abdul, pictured with a visible scar on his face is the signatureof bomb explosion. )

The fact that Abdul has met some diplomats does not mean his life has changed much. He's a registered refugee, so he can't just disappear; he can't go anywhere else. Refugee status also means he has given up all personal opportunities to travel to another country. His only chance to begin a normal life is to get resettled in another country UNHCR. He told me that he used to be a stronger man, but he feels useless now. He has lost the sense of self-reliance now.

He wrote dozens of emails to every organization he knew for help during the time when his kidneys were infected as a result of contaminated water that he wasusing from the water-tap. During the time, he was starving while fighting withPTSD and Depression in a humid room far from Jakarta. 

He said his patience to fight back the swarm of illness. He is becoming more and more vulnerable now. Abdul lives on the kindness of others – from medication this living needs. 

In spite of going through all of these, Abdul is still writing. He has seven booksready to be edited. He prioritizes his underwork book on PTSD because he is not the only one who suffers from it. He thinks it might help others to understand who painful it is suffering from PTSD. He knows some of the refugees in Jakarta who are also traumatized.

Abdul described PTSD as an endless loop of horror movies that goes on and on. A giftmay relieve a temporary hardship, but the trauma may last a lifetime. Medication is an only temporary death prevention accessibility but it is not the solution. 

Abdullived in Bogor for five years. He is not allowed to travel to other provincesin the country that he currently resides in. He spent his days in Iran without legal documents, so he was often searched and chased. 

Abdul is alive because of his family friends. Angela who did the first story on Abdulunder Hasib's name has first approached Abdul. She paid for his medication and sent fresh vegetables to get some nutrition. 

Then came in Lesmina, who like an angel gave Abdul another life whom Abdul mentionedwith respect and gratitude. There is no wonder why has Abdul gained weight since I saw him four years ago! He said, he would gain weight and loose weightvery easily. 

I advised him not to take too much medicine but Abdul lives on these medicinesnow. His new psychologist friend, sends his medicines to his house. But people can't help him forever as it’s a long-term process.  After a four-hour conversation, Abdul was still thinking clearly at the beginning, but startedgetting depressed and pale. So, I suggested to stop but he said he was good togo on. 

Some of the refugees who came to Indonesia were sent to different camps. Iasked Abdul whether this was required by the refugees, He said of course not.

InIndonesia, around 14,000 refugees are struggling. A long time ago, I read thenews of "refugees encamped on the road in Jakarta", and nothing happened. Another time a friend and I were sitting in our car when we saw a lotof strange foreign faces across the side road. We all wondered who they were. I guess they were refugees from Syria or Afghanistan.

Of Indonesia's around 14,000 refugees, 28 percent are children.One hundred and thirty-one children came to Indonesia alone. Perhaps like Abdul as achild, their parents tried their luck. Is Jakarta the best place to be refugee? Fifty-six percent of the refugees are from Afghanistan, 10 percent from Somalia, and 6 percent from Iraq. Details can be found on the website of UNHCR-Indonesia.

 Abdul told me that if the refugees are to be helped, it is also good to find them face to face. When I left, I assisted Abdul in my own capacity, and he warmly accepted that. I asked him what if I could help with clothes and food, he said, he could distribute to his fellow refugees. 

I told him he could call me anytime if he wanted to talk to someone, and he said he would. I said that after the epidemic was over, I would take him to a middle eastern restaurant with my friends, and he said he would be happy. He still tried to be polite to me, but I already noticed his health problems. He mightnot be a whole person. He said I could use his real name, I could use his picture. In his lifetime, he would write a lot of things he wanted to write.The writing was a way for him to vent, though it is not helpful for his illness. He as to re-remember every traumatic scenes as he writes. 

If you wish to donate food and clothing, please add my WeChat lixinxinover, After Abdul's consent, Iwill send you his contact information and address, and you can help himdirectly. Clothes that can be used must be washed and disinfected, for food it would be better to ask them what they really need. Any electronic products are also helpful.

None of this is enough to tell Abdul's story. It was a book, a group. A group struggling on the edge of survival, a movie, a diplomatic war, etc. When Iasked Abdul about COVID-19, he just laughed, it was really not a problem compared to other problems.

I once asked myself why I took the time to write so many things down, and now I have found the reason. If an article can get people's attention and help, itdoesn't matter if I write 1000 unlimited articles.

No war can stop another war, no war can end the previous war, andno one is born illegal. This article is unfinished