【视频】墨西哥死亡之旅
My mom was a single parent.
我妈妈是个单亲妈妈。
And when I was growing up she'd sometimes go on dates.
在我成长的过程中，她有时会出去和别人约会。
You know, try to find me a stepdaddy.
想要给我们找个继父什么的。
There was this one guy, Steve, who was actually pretty cool.
当时有这样一个人，史蒂夫，他是个还不错的人。
He always made a point of taking the whole family out to do stuff, instead of leaving my sister and I at home.
他会特意带着全家人出去玩，而不是故意把我和妹妹留在家里。
My mom didn't really like like him.
我妈妈不是很喜欢他。
And she told him as much.
而且她也如实告诉他了。
But we still did a bunch of stuff together.
但我们还是一起做了很多事情。
He had a boat.
他有一艘船。
We almost died in Mexico.
就因为这艘船，我们差点死在墨西哥。
It's about time I come clean.
差不多是时候告诉你们这个故事了。
In my first video I made a little throw away joke about almost dying in Mexico.
在我制作的第一个视频里，我曾半开玩笑地说有一次我差点死在墨西哥的故事。
At first, I didn't think it was that big of a deal.
一开始，我觉得这没什么大不了的。
But comment after comment has rolled in for YEARS!
但是这些年来，一直有人不断地评论那一条视频。
Everyone wants to know: How'd he almost die in Mexico?
每个人都想知道：他是怎么差点死在墨西哥的？
And putting aside that sick rhyme for a second because...
先不要管这不知怎么压着的韵，因为……
You already know I got bars.
你已经知道我真的有过这样的经历了。
The truth is...
事实是……
The truth is we almost died on our way to Mexico.
事实是我们在去墨西哥的路上就差点死掉了。
We hadn't crossed the border yet.
我们当时还没有越过边界。
That change didn't seem like a big deal.
澄清这一点好像没什么用。
But now I know better.
但是我的思绪现在清晰点了。
Thank you for understanding, and for respecting my family's privacy at this time, no more questions.
谢谢你的理解，感谢你尊重我的家庭隐私，现在没有问题了。
Wow, I can't believe he lied to us.
哇，我真不敢相信他骗了我们。
I don't know, is it really fair for us to judge him from the comfort of our home when he doesn't even... Oh my god!
我不知道，我们这么评价他真的OK吗，没有一个完整的家又不是他的错，他甚至没有……我的天啊！
Having an audience is an enormous responsibility.
观众有时候真的让我压力山大。
You have every right to hold me accountable for what I say!
确实，你们告诉我我需要为自己说过的话负责。
If I say ok, will you tell us the Mexico story?
如果我说是的，你会告诉我们关于墨西哥之旅的那个故事吗？
I thought you'd never ask.
我还以为你永远不会问呢。
When I knew him, Steve was a bus driver.
我认识他的时候，史蒂夫还是一名公共汽车司机。
A church group hired the company he worked for to drive a busload of kids from Idaho down to Mexico.
一个教会团体联系了他工作的公司，雇了一台车，把孩子从爱达荷州送到墨西哥。
So they could go build a church or something, I don't know.
这样他们就可以建造一座教堂或者别的什么了，我不知道具体原因到底是什么。
But he called my mom and said something like: Hey!
但他打电话给我妈妈，说：嘿！
Tim's mom!
蒂姆的妈妈！
I gotta take a bunch of kids down to Me-he-co, do you and yours wanna also go?
我要带一群孩子去墨西哥，你和你家小孩要不要一起去？
And then Mom Tom, with her trademark charm, replied...
然后蒂姆妈妈，带着她标志性的语言，说……
Eh, Sure.
当然。
When the day came, Steve drove a massive bus down our tiny neighborhood street to pick us up.
当这一天到来时，史蒂夫开着一辆大型公共汽车从我们附近的小街开过来接我们。
And maybe it was because I was but a wee lad.
也许是因为我当时还很小。
But I swear it was bigger than our house.
但我发誓，那辆车真的比我们的房子还要大。
The bus drive was pretty long.
坐公交车的时间很长。
And at first, it was intimidating to be with a bunch of strangers.
一开始，和一群陌生人在一起让我很不安。
But one of the kids and I ended up getting along really well.
但我后来和其中一个孩子相处得很好。
We talked about movies, science, and even figured out how to take over the world.
我们谈到了电影、科学，甚至讨论如何控制世界。
Hehe, I'll never tell.
呵呵，我当然不会告诉你们怎么做啦。
We were going to spend the night in Las Vegas.
我们打算在拉斯维加斯过夜。
But when we got into town, Steve missed the exit.
但当我们进城时，史蒂夫错过了出口。
Then he missed the next one.
然后又错过了一个出口。
My mom leaned in and asked: Steve, why didn't you get off?
我妈妈靠过来问：史蒂夫，你为什么不把车开下去？
And then Steve said...
然后史蒂夫说……
No brakes.
刹车坏了。
Now that I've gotten to the good part.
现在，故事最精彩的环节来了。
Let's check back in on this B plot, huh?
让我们再来看看这个情节，好吗？
Can you believe I just busted down a door, what's that all about?
你能相信吗？我刚刚撞开了一扇门，这是怎么回事？
Stop that, what happens next?
住手，接下来会发生什么？
Ok, well the brakes finally started working.
好了，刹车终于开始起作用了。
And we spent the night at a motel.
我们最终在一家汽车旅馆过夜。
The bus company sent a mechanic.
公共汽车公司派来了一名机械师。
And they assured us that there wouldn't be any more problems.
他们向我们保证不会再有任何问题了。
Yup, all fixed.
是的，都修好了。
We dropped the church group off in San Diego, and had like a week to do whatever while we waited for them to come back.
我们把教堂的人员送到了圣地亚哥，在等待他们回来的过程中，我们有大约一个星期的时间去做自己想做的事情。
So the four of us went up to Disneyland.
于是我们四个人去了迪斯尼乐园。
And honestly the best part was when we pulled into the Disney parking lot.
老实说，关于这个故事最好的部分是当我们把车停进迪士尼停车场的时候。
And the lot attendants went out of their way to clear a space right up front for our massive bus and then like, 4 people came out.
停车场服务员特意为我们的大型公交车腾出了正前方的空间，然后我们4个人出来了。
The park was ok, I guess.
我想，公园还可以吧。
I know a lot of people are super into Disneyland, including my buddy Gary from the parkour video.
我知道很多人都超级喜欢迪士尼乐园，包括我在跑酷视频中提到的伙伴加里。
But I'm not gonna get distracted because this video is about almost dying.
但不要跑题了，这次视频的主题是关于一次我差点死掉的经历。
And nobody has ever died in Disneyland.
迪士尼乐园也没有人死过。
Nobody has ever had a bad day, in Disneyland.
在迪士尼乐园，从来没有人过得很糟糕。
There can only be smiles in the land of Disney.
在迪士尼的土地上，只有微笑。
The mouse requires your compliance.
米奇永远为您服务。
When it came time to go pick up the church group, we thought it would be fun to first drive down to the border, walk into Mexico,
当去接教会人员的时候，我们觉得开车去边境，然后走进墨西哥会很有意思，
and be dumb tourists for a little bit.
然后游览一下当地的风光。
But Steve missed a turn into a parking lot.
但史蒂夫错过了一个进入停车场的转弯。
So we were driving straight toward the border crossing, with no choice but to pull a big ol' U turn.
于是，我们径直驶向边境口岸，别无选择，只能掉头。
And I don't know if you know this.
我不知道你是否知道这一点。
But busses can't do U-turns.
但是公交车不能掉头。
The bus stalled in the middle of the road, perpendicular to traffic.
公共汽车在与车流垂直的路中央熄火了。
This is the part where we almost died.
这就是我们差点死掉的地方。
Finally!
终于来了！
I didn't have a ton of situational awareness because I was seven.
我没有太多的危机意识，因为我当时只有七岁。
But my mom knew what was up and threw my sister and I to the far side of the bus.
但我妈妈知道发生了什么事，于是把我和妹妹扔到了公交车的另一边。
A ton of cars were screaming toward us, and just barely skidded to a stop without ramming into the bus.
一大堆汽车向我们呼啸而来，刚刚滑到一个刹车位置，就撞上了公交车。
It was a really close call.
真是千钧一发啊。
My mom was pretty shaken up by the incident.
我妈妈被这件事吓坏了。
But then we went into Mexico.
但后来我们去了墨西哥。
And I got my very own little marble chess set from a shop.
我从一家商店买了一套非常小的大理石国际象棋。
The horseys are my favorite.
马是我的最爱。
Haha, horses!
哈哈，马儿们！
素材来源：Youtube