小心！背这样的范文要出大事！

小白老师说：很多考生反映说市面上的全国医学博士英语统考真题书错误百出，没有一本真题是靠谱的，不同的出版社出的真题对同样的题目各执一词，答案完全不同。另外就是这些真题书所给出的作文范文，都是中式英语不说，语法和措辞还漏洞百出，其中多为低级错误。今天就拿市面上流行的某款真题书的一篇范文为例，分析一下里面的弱智错误。

下面这篇范文是来自“未来教育教学研究中心”出版的全国医学博士外语统一考试真题中的2014年真题的作文范文，在该书的第120页。

口说无凭，拍照为证，先祭出该范文真容照片一张：

为了方便大家看清楚，我把这篇范文又在键盘上敲了一遍：

Learn to Breathe to Have a Long Life

    Life cannot go without breathing, but do you know the right way to breathe? According to a British survey and the statistics provided by the Chinese Respiratory medicine specialists, more than half of all people do not breathe properly.

    What benefits can abdominal deep breathing bring? In the first place, it can prevent respiratory diseases, such as asthma, chronic bronchitis and emphysema pulmonum. Deep breathing can gradually enhance muscle contractility and improve other functions to treat and aloeviate disease. Secondly, deep breathing may help people relax and reduce insomnia symptoms. Lu Yifan, Professor at Sports Medicine Department of Beijing Sport University, says deep breathing can help strained nerves relax, release anxiety, alleviate pain and help the sleepless go to sleep. What's more, deep breathing will prevent even cure high blood pressure, as found by a Japanese professor's experiment.

    Most importantly, deep breathing can bring longevity. In ask for vitality from breathing, American scholar points out, practicing deep bereathing with control can refresh your brain, regulate nverve system and help people relax. 

    How can we learn to breathe properly then?

   There are two key points, as Professor Lu suggests. One is to inhale as slowly, peacefully and deeply as possible, and the other is to exhale completely so as to discharge all the waste air. The most scientific breathing way is to inhale-pause(10 to 20 seconds)-exhale. Another way of breathing, proposed by Long Cunxiu, is called "whole breathing". As Long suggests, this kind of breathing can be practiced everywhere at any time, especially useful when faced with sudden negative emothins, prove efficiency, adjust mind and body, and stabilize mood.

这篇“范文”在提炼试卷中文原文的观点、把握行文逻辑上有重大问题，不能很好地总结归纳原文观点，在细枝末节上纠缠不清。这些先暂且按下不提。光看这篇“范文”的语法，就可以发现以下弱智错误：

错误举例一

Life cannot go without breathing, but do you know the right way to breathe?

分析：连接词使用不当。

这里话翻译成中文是“生命不能没有呼吸，但你知道正确的呼吸方式吗？”

可是这个句子的逗号前后的两个分句之间根本不存在转折关系，这里用but来连接，逻辑关系有明显错误，让人莫名其妙。

错误举例二

Lu Yifan, Professor at Sports Medicine Department of Beijing Sport University, says, deep breathing can help strained nerves relax, release anxiety, alleviate pain and help the sleepless go to sleep.

分析：这句话有两个问题：第一符号用错；第二中式英语严重。

首先这句话中says后面不应该再用逗号了。也许该范文作者是写到这里自己也觉得编不下去了，用个逗号停顿一下，喘口气好继续往下编吧。

其次，句中的help strained nerves relax, release anxiety, alleviate pain and help the sleepless go to sleep 是中式英语的低级表述，完全不顾英语里有没有这样的搭配和用法，自说自话地使劲把动词堆砌起来。真的很担心阅卷老师看到这样的句子会不会吐血。

错误举例三

In ask for vitality from breathing, American scholar points out, practising deep breathing with control can refresh your brain, regulate nerve system and help people relax.

分析：这句话介词用法不清楚。In 是介词，后面的动词要用动名词asking而不是动词原形ask。这在作文阅卷中是最忌讳的。而且这个in用在这里很奇怪，实在想不通范文作者想表达什么。。。

错误举例四

The most scientific breathing way is to inhale-pause(10 to 20 seconds)-exhale.

分析：这句话的问题在于词性混乱。

句中的inhale-pause(10 to 20 seconds)-exhale是一个名词，前面不应该再加介词to。即使要用to，后面也起码应该是to do sth，应该写成动词的形式才符合语法。

除了这些弱智错误外，该范文通篇中式英语，而且句子全部是简单句，句式单一；所用单词也基本上都是高中英语词汇，毫无亮点可言。

网上有句很流行的话，细细想来，颇有道理，“长得丑不是你的错，但是出来吓人就是你的不对了”。

总之，小伙伴们请擦亮眼睛，不要入坑。好好积累好词佳句，还是咱们自己写最靠谱。

小白老师原创文章，欢迎转发，拒绝任何形式的转载。

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