Date Night Stories: "She took a mid-date nap!"
Date Night Stories
China
daters share their experiences dating in China: first dates, worst
dates, relationships, break ups, and everything in between.
"She took a mid-date nap!"
Greg shares one of his worst Tinder date experiences in China.
I was fairly new to the Tinder scene and met up with what I judged to be an attractive lady based on her pictures. Sadly, her Photoshop skills seem to have aided liberally with this assessment, as I found out when we met in person.
''Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound,'' I thought. ''I'm already here.''
We headed into the bar and ordered food and drinks while I tried desperately to pry answers more than two syllables long from her, quickly exhausting my usual supply of small-talk starter questions.
''So, how long have you been in Beijing?''
''4 years.''
''Oh, cool! What do you think of it so far?''
''Not bad.''
No asking me anything. No giving me any information to work with.
I took a hefty gulp of my beer, wishing it was something stronger. She took another sip of her cider and got her phone out.
''Perfect, a phone-starer.'' I thought to myself.
The food came and we ate it in near silence, me having given up on getting blood from a stone and her seemingly not having cared in the first place. To be honest, the food was a welcome distraction from the beige abyss where her personality should have been.
Out of food and with no conversation to be had, I checked out a football match on one of the TV screens for a minute. When I looked back she'd fallen asleep. ASLEEP! Drunk off half a cider. Nice one.
This was the breaking point for me. I tapped her on the shoulder and gently said, ''maybe it's time you went home.''
She woke up embarrassed about her little mid-date nap and we agreed to get the bill, which we split...ish. She sent me a WeChat hongbao for the cost of her food/drink minus tax and minus the cost of her cider... Weird, but if that was to be the price of getting out of this Chernobyl of a date, it was one I was willing to pay.
After saying our goodbyes I walked to my bike, making sure to delete her WeChat as I did so. I cycled home to a stiff whisky and decided that this was as good a time as any to take a little break from online dating.
''If that's the alternative,'' I figured, ''being single isn't so bad after all!''
Greg is an editor in Beijing. You can catch him performing at the monthly Jing & Tonic shows (Wechat ID: GregorioMagno).
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