Divided by COVID-19: Beijing Couple Kept Miles Apart
Phindi and B met at a night out at Mix Club in Beijing, fell in love, and got engaged in February 2020 in Germany.
In the wake of corona, Phindi unfortunately needed to return to Beijing, while B stayed in Munich.
Although they are many miles apart now, Phindi shares how they’ve kept their relationship strong through communication and finding ways to stay connected during this difficult time.
Meet Phindi
My name is Phindi (pronounced as Pindy) and I am from South Africa. I have been in Beijing since 2018, so roughly 2.5 years, going on 3. I am a high school Drama and English language teacher. I also do makeup and promote selfcare workshops for women.
How did you and B meet?
I was at Mix Club, dancing on stage so as to avert any unwanted bumpin n grindin from strangers - whom I could push off stage should it happen. (Just kidding!)
I was dancing on stage and noticed a tall guy staring at me from across the room. I was caught off guard by how unashamedly he did it and hoped he would not come on stage. To my horror, he came sauntering over and shimmied his way closer. Then he did something unexpected and actually asked for my permission to dance with me. I was moderately impressed so we hit it off.
In the middle of our rendezvous, as we were dancing all the way to the floor, I heard a ripping sound. He had ripped his jeans and his tighty whities were on full display.
I laughed so hard. After 3 months of depression earlier on, it felt so good to laugh. After that I said to myself, if he makes a move I’ll definitely hit him up.
At the end of the morning, he walked my friends and I to the car and asked me for my WeChat. The rest, as they say, is history… or is it?
I remember my friend saying to me a few minutes in the Didi on our way home, “My word, that guy was looking at you like he wants to bloody marry you!”. Well…
We started dating a little over 2 months after meeting, because I ignored him for a month. He would text and I would give one-word answers. I just did not want to start something that would end up being long distance since he was from Germany, but I ended up giving in. We fell in love.
When he had to return to Germany, we made a plan to give it a try and agreed that if it didn’t work, then we’d let it go. Fortunately, that never happened. We would fly back and forth between China, Germany and once South Africa. After two and a half years of dating, we got engaged in February 2020 – just as shit was getting real with Corona.
I had to come back to China because the government had already extended my visa and I had to sort out my apartment and employment situation. Just as I was in my love bubble, the happiest moment in my life, I had to return to Beijing and stay under lockdown. He remained In Germany because that’s where work is and he had just gotten a new job.
How has the long distance been since then? How do you stay connected and keep your relationship strong?
It has its ups and downs just like any other relationship. One of the most prominent things about it is the lack of respect people have for a long-distance relationship. Some people think it’s not important and try to have opinions on something most of them have never been through. So you have to defend your relationship.
We stay connected by doing a lot of things together, although with the 7-hour time difference we do need to take time to plan things. For example, we watch movies at the same time on Netflix, making it feel like we are in the same room. We use Facetime a lot, keeping each other on the line while we cook, clean even shower *wink wink*.
Will you stay in China longer? When do you hope to be reunited?
Well, Corona is one of those things that is very unpredictable, so there’s no exact date except for as soon as safely possible. The vaccine shall speed things up, so I am looking forward to it.
What advice do you have for other couples who can't be together right now?
Keep strong by choosing your partner every day. It is so easy to be tempted to give up or feel despondent, but remember love is an action and not a feeling.
Put structure in your life and concentrate on the things you can control, try a new hobby, read more. The point is to fill your time with things that make you happy and help you remain positive while you wait to be with your love.
For me meditating, speaking to God, dancing and singing again have really taken me out of my rut and feeling sorry for myself. Now I can feel good about my life including my relationship with my boo.
Thanks to Phindi for sharing her story. If you would like to write an article or do an interview with Date Night China to share your story, contact Rachel on Wechat: rachelweiss22.
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