Expat Women Share About Beauty Standards & Dating in China
Beauty Standards and Dating in China as a Female Expat
Date Night China recently asked expat women to share their thoughts on beauty standards in China, some pressures women face because of these standards, and what it's like dating as a foreign woman here.
Everyone has their own experiences dating in China, of course, and these survey results reflect the thoughts and experiences from anonymous female expats around China.
We discuss these survey results and share more stories in the Date Night China Podcast Episode 8: Beauty Standards and Dating as a Female Expat. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or other major podcast apps.
Disclaimer: We are not professionals and this survey is not for any official research purposes. This dating survey was purely for interest in collecting insight, perspectives, and stories for the Date Night China Podcast.
Women's responses on the beauty standards in China
Beauty Standards in China
Beauty standards will differ from country to country, with culture and media playing a strong part in influencing what is seen as the beauty standard as well.
So we asked expat women: what do you feel are the beauty standards in China?
One woman succinctly wrote: "White, thin; extra lean; large pupils; straight hair. The idea that one can never be thin enough."
Most female expats we surveyed agreed with this idea, responding that in China being very thin and having white pale skin were seen as the beauty standard.
Another woman added, "I feel like in Asia the color and the quality of the skin are one of the most important beauty standards."
Extreme Beauty Trends in China
Do You Face Any Pressures Because of Beauty Standards in China?
Surrounded by these kinds of beauty measures, it's understandable why 83% of the expat women we surveyed responded that they feel pressure because of beauty standards here.
Size and Weight
The size standard is a big difficulty for many women, putting pressure on them to constantly think about their size and weight.
Said one expat female: "Everyone around me is completely obsessed with their weight and diet and simply not eating."
Another woman wrote: "I have to be sexy and fat or else I’m just fat."
Shopping in China can also be a challenge for female expats. Someone else commented,"I cannot shop in stores in China because there is nothing available in my size."
Skin Whitening
The standard to have the whitest or palest skin is also a big beauty pressure in China. Many makeup products here have skin whitening agents in them, and emphasis is placed on avoiding the sun to have pale skin.
"My skin is darker than the ideal beauty standard, as a result I dont always feel like I am beautiful," said one woman.
Appearance and Makeup
There is often a big emphasis on appearance. Said one woman:"I feel much more pressure to look put together here than I do in my home country."
Another foreign woman wrote: "I don’t usually wear makeup to work and will never do. Sometimes I get called out for it. There’s more pressure to look your best on every occasion because people here take such care of their appearance."
"I think there's a lot of pressure on women to measure up to a Chinese beauty standard that doesn't seem to be required of men."
Do Beauty Standards Affect Who You Decide To Date in China?
When choosing a partner for yourself, or when someone else is considering you as a potential love interest, do beauty standards come into play? 26% of women said yes, while 67% of women said that beauty standards don't affect who or how they decide to date in China.
"Nope! I’m all for the connection," wrote one woman."Of course chemistry is key, but I don’t have a set beauty criterion in mind for my partner to tick off."
However, other women stated that beauty standards and their experiences do play a role in how they date.
Some said they are looking for someone with the same mindset: "Yes, I prefer to date other foreigners with similar beauty standards."
Another woman wrote: "I have entirely eliminated the idea of dating locals. They are, in my opinion, far more interested with the idea of dating white/western Europeans and other locals. Black people don't seem to factor much in their list of prospective candidates. And at this point I am too far gone in years to have the patience to teach someone how to see beyond color."
One woman answered this question by saying, "A better question for the guys who swipe left on my Tinder lol."
What is it like Dating as a Female Expat in China?
Oof. This is a loaded question that varies from person to person: there is no way to summarize many people's experiences.
But many women acknowledged it's difficult to date in China due to the transient nature of expats who come and go quickly here: "It’s easy to date casually, but difficult to find a real long-term relationship. Expats are transient."
Date Night China has shared many different stories on our podcast and articles interviewing women on their experiences:
If you have a story or perspective you would like to share, get in touch with the Date Night China team. Add Rachel on Wechat: rachelweiss22
Is it More Difficult for Expat Woman To Date in China than Expat Men?
More than half of the woman agree, with 64% saying that it is more difficult for varying reasons such as a smaller dating pool in general for women or because of a lack of interest in/from local Chinese men.
One woman added to that saying: "I have the feeling a lot of men are into Asian women but a lot of expat women are not into Asian men. Hence the pool is much smaller for women from my point of view."
Another said: "Yes. From me and my friend’s experiences, a lot of the expat men can easily find a local date, especially local women. Local Chinese women may be more interested in learning a new language and culture while a lot of local men are not. I personally had one man telling me that he is afraid that I would think of him as being inexperienced in the bedroom or mock him for having a smaller penis. He also didn’t want to date expat women because we have the capability to make more money than him."
There were also woman who disagreed: "I think this notion is kinda BS. Yes there are a lot of guys that are only into Asian women, but look and you shall find others. A lot of guys I've met are looking for a long term relationship with another foreigner so they have more cultural similarities."
And then others shared that it mattered more about what kind of partner and relationship you are looking for: "From what I heard, I believe it’s almost the same. If you know what kind of relationship you want and what kind of man/woman you’re looking for and you don’t stress yourself out while being single, but just open up to the world- there definitely be YOUR perfect partner. I had a few relationships in China and I appreciate each one a lot."
Advice on Beauty Standards & Dating in China
For our last question, we asked the women to share advice for other women on beauty standards and dating in China.
"I know it’s very wide, but everything starts from loving yourself. Appreciating yourself, all the aspects of you- your body, hair, voice, your skin, your environment. Being thankful and cheerful while being single. Finding a life partner is very important, but being in peace with yourself is a different thing. Enjoy yourself whether you’re dating or not and learn how to say no to the men that intuitively don’t seem to be a good match. Instead of complaining- try to communicate and be open about yourself and your feelings. The right person will definitely be there for you!"
"Be confident and own whoever you are, however you look. Love yourself, and believe you are beautiful. Also, understand there may be lots of looks/stares because generally expats don't have the same body type as many Chinese - be okay with that. If you change your body, in any way, make sure it's for you first. Be open to new experiences especially from unexpected sources. Try online dating and know what you're looking for."
"Mental health/balance is the base."
"Keep a good support system of friends who will be with you even during difficult times. Be upfront about what you want/need from a relationship and be willing to walk away from men who don't provide that. Know signs of being fetishized for your skin or just for being foreign (brings up skin color, stereotypes about your race/ethnicity, brings up sex early in conversations etc.). If you are friends with local girls, you can always ask advice about dating norms within China."
"Have fun and love yourself and your life in China first. There’s so much to do and so many wonderful people to meet! Don’t rush and just get out there and have fun!"
These are just some of the perspectives and thoughts of expat women in China, but do not reflect all expat women's experiences.
Want to share your thoughts? You can take the survey here:
Thanks to everyone who participated in our survey! Date Night China aims to build a positive community for dating through our podcast, articles, events and discussions.
We discuss these survey results and share more stories in the Date Night China Podcast Episode 8: Beauty Standards and Dating as a Female Expat. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or other major podcast apps.
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