How To NOT Be A Dick On Your First Date
My friends have been telling me these awful stories about their first dates and I can’t help but think in these situations, what the hell is wrong with people?
Here are 5 quick ways that you can clean up your act and make the best of your first date and hopefully subsequent dates, because you made a good impression of yourself.
TL;DR - Be a decent, considerate person. The end.
1. Don’t dress like or be a slob
Just left the gym? Laundry day been a while? Feeling a bit lazy today? THESE ARE NOT VALID EXCUSES. Get your butt in the shower, find a decent shirt, and dress to impress. You don’t have to be in a ballgown or suit to be considered sexy. Just look somewhat put together, accentuate your best features (cheeks, hair, tits, ass, whatever), and be ready to give a great first impression. And if you’re ugly, just wear a funny shirt to show that at least you have a sense a humor.
While you’re at it, be aware of your body language and how you carry yourself. Don’t pick your nose, even if there’s a really, really annoying booger up there. When you laugh, be genuine about it. Get a little flirty with your date. Avoid talking with your mouth full. Be on your best behavior, just like your mommy taught you!
Don’t be like Mr. Bean!
2. Don’t like what you see? Be a fucking decent human anyway
Maybe she doesn’t look exactly like the photos on her the profile. Maybe his haircut is shorter than the long locks you were hoping for in the pictures. Maybe they have gained some weight (COVID was hard for people!). Regardless, make the most of the date. You’re there, you showed up, had some initial fun conversation, so keep going.
Maybe you find that they are more interesting and compelling than their looks (what a concept!). Maybe you walk away making a really fun friend. Whatever the outcome, don’t give up within the first minute and then make the date insufferable for both you and him/her because you’re only giving 40% of yourself.
If you’re really that disturbed by the other person that you don’t think your time is worth an hour with this individual, then maybe reevaluate how you see yourself. Because that point of view is pretty dickish. Every person has value and deserves to be treated with respect.
3. Don’t talk about yourself the whole time
You’re on a date… with someone else. They have thoughts and opinions and feelings just like you! Be on time to the date. Don’t forget to ask them about their day! Ask them about the last time they ate cheese and how it made them feel.
If they have an opinion different than yours, don’t tell them they are WRONG. Maybe they have valid reasons for their opinions. Have you heard of listening? Did you know that people like people that listen? Want to be liked? Literally the best thing you can do is just listen to someone and ask questions. Wow, what a concept, am I right?
Oh, and stick to the basics of conversation! This should be a fun outing and not an interview for a job! People just want to be appreciated for who they are and not what they have.
Topics to AVOID include the following:
Salary/material wealth
5-year plan
Kids (future or current) *
Past relationships*
*These topics are very controversial and CAN be discussed but in a proper, reasonable way. In general, a first date should be more focused on getting to know the individual’s interests and personality and seeing how it meshes with you!
4. Don’t bring a friend to your date.
Picture this – you agreed to your date with a person, one on one. But maybe you have nerves or the date isn’t going well, you’re feeling shy and don’t know what to do. Let’s call in a friend to help!! – NOT.
I am disappointed that I even have to say this. Do not bring a friend into your date. No matter the situation. You’re nervous and need a wingman. Maybe you run into them at the coffee shop. Maybe your friend is in emotional distress. It does not matter!! Excuse yourself, say hi or whatever you need to briefly, and get back to your date. Or end the date! All more acceptable options than bringing an unwelcome person in to make you feel better.
If you’re uncomfortable in a one on one dating scenario, don’t agree to it in the first place. Ask the person to meet you at a party/bar that you’re at with friends. Continue online chatting until you do feel comfortable. But remember, the person wants to get to know you and not your friends!
5. Don’t look at your phone every 5 minutes
Sure, it can be tough meeting a new person and having to engage in conversation with them, even though you put yourself up to this by going on the date. So, it should be ok to act all shy and hang out in your phone, right?! NO!
If you don’t know how to create conversation, literally look up some questions to have at the top of your head before the date. Here, I’ll even give you a few right now as a head start:
What’s your favorite album?
Tell me about your favorite vacation.
What’s your shoe size?
There are literally endless things you can ask to learn more about the person you’re spending time with. Get to know him or her and get off the electronics.
You made it to the end, nice work! Now, you should be date ready and confident that you can do this! You can be a reasonable, considerate individual. You can strut your stuff and get someone to like you! Hey, maybe it will lead into more and more dates, and even love! That’s the goal, isn’t it?
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