Why You Should Represent Yourself Authentically Online
Oiginally from Canada, Kelly is an expat who has lived in Beijing since March 2021. He shares his thoughts on the importance of representing yourself authentically when using dating apps or online platforms.
Dating is hard. Dating in foreign countries is even harder.
*It’s important that when I use the term dating, I mean having actual relationships and seeing the same person, not hookups.*
A bit of background information on me, before I step on the soap box. I have lived and experienced the dating scenes in North America (Canada), as well as Singapore, Vietnam, and now Beijing.
If I can only give you one piece of dating advice from my dating experience it would be this:
Be yourself.
You are awesome. You are unique. You are fun. You are beautiful. You are a catch.
Be yourself.
I am me.
I am Kelly.
Yes, that is my real name (who would choose it as a fake one?). Yes, I am a guy and I'm straight (although I do support all LGBT+). I am Kelly. I am me.
Be yourself.
For your WeChat, you should have a real recent picture of you as your avatar (profile picture). It doesn’t even have to show your whole face, but try to show yourself and how you identify. Represent yourself authentically.
Trust me, you are not as fat or short or ugly as you think you are. You are awesome. You are unique. You are fun. You are beautiful. You are a catch. So represent yourself.
I am me.
When you look at my profile it is me. It is my real face. It is recent. It shows you that I am male. I am Caucasian, and by showing my face it also gives a rough indication of my age (somewhere between 35-45).
I personally keep my moments open as well, because I have nothing to hide, and I want people to get to know me. I understand if you don’t want to keep your moments open, that is a choice. But, hopefully you’ll add a recent picture of you as your avatar.
So, why do I represent myself? So that anybody in any of the groups I am in, can recognize me at an event, or on the street, and they are welcome to say hi. Why? Because they know me, I represent myself every day, and in every post.
Be yourself.
If you are on dating chats, then the goal is to meet someone. It would be great that they know what you look like before chatting and before meeting.
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One of my biggest frustrations on dating apps: I would match a lady, let's call her "Lisa", and I would get to see 2-4 pictures of her and her life. (My personal tip: never swipe any profiles with only 1 picture).
If we have a good chat on the app, and I would get a sense of who they are, I would suggest we go to WeChat. (It's easier to communicate and I wouldn't often check the dating apps, so it’s hard to “gain conversation traction”).
But, that's where the problem and frustration would arise. Because the lady who I got to know as "Lisa" is now named "Julie". Her avatar is now a flower, and her moments are blocked. Who is she? Is it fake? Is it a scammer? A catfish? Instantly any connection we built on the dating app is gone, and you almost have to start fresh again.
I am me.
What you see with me is what you get. For better or worse. It is my name. It is my face. I am me.
Be yourself.
People want to meet and get to know the real you. They really do.
You are awesome. You are unique. You are fun. You are beautiful. You are a catch.
You are an interesting, unique, fun human being and other interesting, unique, fun human beings want to meet you and be your friend.
Who knows where that might lead?
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Date Night China is a digital media platform and events organization based in Beijing that aims to build a positive community and share stories about relationships and dating in China. Follow our Wechat Account for the latest articles, new podcast episodes, and upcoming events.