How to tell if a Chinese Man/Woman Genuinely Likes You

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Does this Chinese man like me? This is hands-down the number one question that women ask me every month.

Netizen@ Ray Williams 

Chinese men have a reputation for being shy and passive when it comes to love. In my experience?

Every single Chinese man who has been interested in me has made it perfectly clear from the very beginning. For the sake of this answer and not my ego, I will tell you there have been many. If anything they are typically over-eager and move much more quickly than most women are used to in the US. Average time from first date to “I love you” with Chinese guys? In my experience, about two weeks.

Netizen@ Anna Wilson

Though there are certainly cultural differences and Asians are often more demure superficially, the signs that a Chinese man likes you really aren't different than those of a Western man. They will be the same signs but likely more subtle.

Netizen@ Ruby Smith

I think that compared with western guys, Chinese guys normally lack the feminist consciousness and have weak broken hearts.

The result (phenomenon) is, Chinese guys don't believe that girls are independent individuals in their hidden minds. They are unequal. So, Chinese guys expect to help girls in many aspects like helping them traffic something, buying them breakfast, etc. But, attention, these guys are just wanting to prove they are good enough, that they are real men and they have strong abilities. 

Netizen@ Grace S.

Lol, a typical Chinese guy doesn’t really have a lot of experience when it comes to love. So if he likes you, you’ll probably need to make the first move, ask him to hang out and have chats with him (“Help me improve English” is a very good excuse). Good luck.

1

Words have power but oftentimes there are two interpretations for one word depending on the person reading it.

A case in point is when someone says "Take care", which on the one hand may be interpreted as wanting the other person to stay away from them, but on the other hand it can also mean that a person genuinely cares for your welfare.

Photo credit: wopoco.com

The other example is when a person addresses you as 'Ma'am' - it is also one way of distancing yourself from the other person. It’s almost like saying you don’t want to get too personal.

What can you do to confirm if a man likes you? Ask him. That way, you won’t have to read between the lines to understand what he’s trying to say.

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In other instances, if a man really likes you, he will make it clear no matter what. He will find a way to connect with you no matter how busy he is. He will be sweet with his words and will reflect his feelings in many ways.

However, nothing beats honesty. Ask him. If he doesn’t have the courage to tell you how he feels, then you should respect that without forcing it.

But a man who truly likes you will constantly make it known by keeping close contact with you. Pay attention to what he says and how he says it.

3

How can you tell if a guy likes you by reading a text message? This is like a spy quiz sort of a question. It's not always easy to tell if he’s interested in you just by reading his texts, but you can still get a few hints that will point you in the right direction.

Here are a few things that you should look out for:

Regular compliments and unusual ones too. Messages like "Good morning beautiful” or “You look gorgeous in that dress, you’re killing me" all imply that the man you’re in contact with is obviously interested in you, but there is no face to the message so you can't tell if it's genuine or not. Long pause when you are continuously chatting and all of a sudden you tell him about another guy you had a fun time with. Crisp replies when you tell him of instances with another guy. Instant replies whenever you text him. 

In many netizens' opinions, the following signs help me tell whenever a Chinese girl likes me or not:

1

They look at you without breaking eye contact. Since Asian girls are typically very shy regarding almost everything, if a Chinese girl likes you, she'll get the courage to look at you for a prolonged period of time until you break eye contact from her first. She will always literally stare at you whenever she gets the chance and will never look away first until after you do. At this point, you may realize that she indeed has a serious crush on me.

Photo credit: baidu.com

2

You watch her body language. If she displays the following behaviors, that means she likes you :

Her pupil dilates: The human pupil dilates unconsciously when it sees something it likes. There is absolutely no way to fake this, so it 's a very reliable indicator of interest. The problem is that Asian eyes are black, which makes it harder for you to spot this indicator.

She preens her hair: This is the ancient way to attract the opposite sex. Preening releases female hormone in the air, which attracts males.

She follows you: That's obvious (and kinda creepy).

She changes her opinion for you: At the start of the conversation, she may say that she hates dogs but as the conversation progresses, you randomly say that you just love dogs. If she changes her opinion towards loving dogs, then it's certain that she likes you.

She qualifies to you: If she tries to prove that she is an attractive person by saying she is adventurous, open-minded, easy-going, etc. You can be confident that you've won her over.

She sticks closer to you: That 's obvious. If she turns her chest towards you, it's a positive sign.

She tries to earn your attention: By dressing sexy, telling jokes, being loud.

At the beginning, it's handy to keep a checklist like this in mind. Later, your instinct with girls will evolve, to the point you can tell if she likes you or not in a split second.

3

Take initiative to strike up a conversation.

In general, boys usually start talking to girls which often leads the girl to think that you’re a lecher. Since this is a typical way of making conversation, many girls tend to refuse it or treat the boy with disdain.

The opposite situation is when a girl takes the initiative to start talking to a boy and he in return will not say anything, as if this girl were lecherous - perhaps because of this unsettling wave of happy emotions flowing through his veins and brains (in other words, because a girl is talking to him)?

So when a girl takes the initiative to talk to a boy, aside from work situations, this very likely means that she’s attracted to him. Otherwise, she’d probably rather be beaten to death than risk the kind of social criticism that goes along with that behavior.

4

'Sa jiao' (behaving like a spoiled child) in front of you.

Women who act like spoiled children have been talked about many times. If we say this behavior is the mark of an open/loose woman, it seems a little like depriving other women of being able to do this. To put it another way, if you act like a spoiled child in front of the man you like then you’re already quite open enough.

Editor: Crystal H-AD

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