Helping child go through a rebellious phase

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Children’s behaviours are all reasonable.

—— Dr. Thomas GordonAmerican psychologist 

A young child’s sense of self starts to develop around the age of two. It peaks around the age of three or four and levels off around the age of six. Both China and English-speaking countries have a word describing the beginning of this period: the ‘terrible twos’. 

It is a time when children frequently say 'no'. They become more emotional, insist on doing things that are prohibited and are resistant to the idea of sharing with others. 

We often call these behaviours 'rebellious', but they often reflect a child's deeper psychological needs ——

1

Development of self-awareness 

When young children grow up realising that they are not totally dependent on adults, they are eager to practise their newly established autonomy. They seek independence and do not want to be restricted by their parents.

2

Rich emotional experience

Along with this developing sense of self comes a richer emotional experience. They may respond to an experience with a multitude of emotions, and they are not adequately equipped to handle them.

3

Being self-centred 

As their motor, language and cognitive skills develop, their social circle begins to expand, but they are not able to share, wait or see things from others' perspectives. They focus all their energy and attention on building their self.

When children enrol in EY1 and EY2 at Huili Nursery, they are at this developmental stage. Everything they do is triggered by their self-cognition. They tend to become self-centred, and their behaviours can become unpredictable and emotionally charged.

However, if parents can perceive the true intentions behind their child's words and actions, they will soon realise that this just a natural progression as their child learns to explore the world.

Customised support

for your child's development

During this phase, children often experience a wide range of emotions, such as guilt, shame and anger. They centre their social relationships on themselves. This is why our curriculum framework aims to develop a child’s personal, social and emotional development (PSED).  This helps them to build on their ability to cope with the challenges that they will inevitably encounter.  

PSED lays a solid foundation for a child’s development. It helps them to better understand social dynamics, build relationships with their peers and deal with their own emotions. When a child’s sense of safety is established and their happiness and involvement are improved, they will gain the confidence and independence to explore their new surroundings.

▲ Scroll to read more about PSED at Huili.

Every child's PSED needs are unique. At Huili Nursery, our teachers will observe their behaviour and guide them with suitable methods. 

For example, we observe whether children exhibit separation anxiety when their parents drop them off; whether they are willing to interact with other children or adults in the classroom; and whether they participate in independent activities.  

We regularly assess their wellbeing and involvement, identify their needs and develop a personalised support plan. 

We also provide regular feedback and communication with parents, sharing our observations and offering targeted strategies.

Helping a child build 

a healthy sense of self

We value the partnership that we build with parents at Huili. Parental support plays a vital role in how we help your children develop. Here are some approaches you can take to successfully navigate this challenging period. 

1

Do not dismiss their emotions

Your child needs to feel safe and have a healthy outlet for emotion. If we rush to dismiss their thoughts and feelings, that is a missed opportunity to understand them better. Respect starts with positive communication, and this is essential to resolving any conflicts that arise.

2

Cultivate your child's resilience 

It is our parental instinct to provide care for our children, but this all too easily comes at the expense of a child's autonomy and self-management skills. We should be our children's best supporters, but they must gradually learn how to cope with life's challenges themselves.

Only by respecting and trusting our children can we better understand their needs for personal, social and emotional development. 

This enhances their sense of wellbeing and motivates them to take responsibility for their own actions.

A child who feels safe and cared for will emerge from this challenging phase with a well-developed personality and a healthy sense of independence. 

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