双语 | 当罗子君遇见尼采：那些没杀死我的，将使我更强大！

热播剧《我的前半生》已经进入尾声，迷妹们就要和你们的贺涵哥哥say goodbye了，是不是很不舍~~

好啦，不要望着贺涵犯花痴了，别忘了这部剧的主线剧情——遭遇丈夫背叛抛弃的罗子君华丽逆袭成长为牛闪闪的独立女性。

话说罗子君的变化真是大得惊人：离婚前衣品差、脾气差、人缘差，离婚后却变得越来越会穿搭、性格独立自强，男神贺涵都忍不住爱上她。

我们先抛开男友爱上闺蜜这样的狗血桥段，单看罗子君的经历和改变，不得不说，原本看似人生大劫的“离婚”成就了全新的罗子君，成为她人生的重要拐点，让她实现从事事依赖丈夫的家庭主妇到独立女性的华丽转变。

罗子君的经历让Yee君想起了尼采的那句名言——

 “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”

让那些想要战胜我们的困难来得更猛烈些吧！反正你打不倒我！我还要强大起来给你看！

一位曾在生活中遭受重创的作者，写下了对这句名言的理解，来来来，喝下这碗鸡汤↓

▲德国哲学家尼采

That quote is attributed to the German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche. Actually, he said it much more eloquently: “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” It turns out that he was right.

这句话出自于德国哲学家——弗里德里希·尼采。事实上，他的原话更有感染力：“但凡不能杀死我们的，终会使我们更加强大。”事实证明，他是对的。

Studies have shown that some trauma survivors report positive changes and enhanced personal development, called post traumatic growth (PTG). PTG refers to any beneficial change resulting from a major life crisis or traumatic event, but people most commonly experience a positive shift by having a renewed appreciation for life; adopting a new world view with new possibilities for themselves; feeling more personal strength; feeling more satisfied spiritually, and/or their relationships improve.

研究表明，一些精神受创的幸存者呈现出积极的转变，个人发展也在提升，我们称之为“创伤后成长（PTG）”。创伤后成长是指从人生某个重大危机或创伤性事件中获得的有益改变。人们最常经历的积极转变包括重新认识生活，尝试建立新的世界观，感受到更多自身的力量，感到精神更加满足，人际关系得到改善。

In the years I spent recovering from a brain injury, the result of suicide attempt, I experienced every single one of these.

我因为自杀未遂而导致了颅脑损伤，在我康复的那几年，我体验了上述的每一种改变。

There’s no standard to determine what constitutes trauma or healthy growth but it has been determined why some people experience PTG and some don’t. As expected, it was found that people with a moderate aptitude for psychological adjustment were the most likely to show signs of PTG while those with difficulty adapting exhibited less. However, surprisingly, those with the highest aptitude for psychological adjustment demonstrated the least signs of positive change perhaps because they already understood that difficulty is integral to life, were already adaptable, and not that transformed by the experience.

目前仍没有既定的标准规定哪些行为属于创伤后成长或健康成长，不过我们能知道，为什么有些人经历了创伤后成长，而有些人没有。研究结果和我们最初料想的一样，有适度心理调节能力的人更容易产生创伤后成长，而调节能力较差的人则不容易产生。不过，出乎意料的是，那些心理调节能力特别强的人是最难发生积极改变的，可能是因为他们已经明白困难是生活的一部分，并且已经顺应了这种生活，而无需通过创伤后成长来转变。

In an article interviewing comedian Jerry Seinfeld, he recalls being heckled and ignored as a struggling comedian in his early days. On one particularly soul-crushing occasion, people at a New York disco went right on dancing through his act as though he weren’t even on stage. He said such challenges made him a stronger person and better performer. “I don’t mind suffering. You suffer in all things — work, relationships, whatever else you do.” he commented.

喜剧演员杰瑞•宋飞在接受采访的一篇文章中，回忆了早期做喜剧演员艰苦打拼时被人责难和忽视的经历。有一次简直痛及灵魂——纽约一家迪厅的人们在杰瑞仍在台上表演时就直接跑上去跳舞，当他不存在一样。他说类似的挑战让他变得更加坚强，表演得也更加出色。他评论道：“我不介意受苦。任何事情都会让你有不爽的遭遇，工作、人际关系等等，做什么都是如此。”

▲喜剧演员杰瑞•宋飞

Victor Frankl, a neurologist, psychiatrist, holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, wrote:

神经学家、精神病学家、纳粹大屠杀幸存者、《追寻生命的意义》作者维克多•弗兰克尔写道：

▲《追寻生命的意义》作者维克多·弗兰克尔

The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity – even under the most difficult circumstances to add a deeper meaning to his life.

一个人若能接受命运及其所附加的一切痛苦，并且肩负起自己的十字架，则即使处在最恶劣的环境中，照样有充分的机会去加深他生命的意义。

While some pain and suffering in life are unavoidable and part of the human experience, much is self induced by our thoughts and can be radically reduced by mindfulness practices and mental health tools. Learning to alter my thoughts has drastically improved my life. To be able to work with the same types of challenges that used to cause me such panic, pain, and suffering has provided me a consistent level of calm, joy, optimism and trust in myself and the universe.

生活中有的痛苦和磨难无法避免，是人生经历的一部分，但很多都源自我们的思想，可以通过静修和心理健康疗法彻底消除。学会改变自我想法很大程度上改善了我的生活，面对同样挑战，以前我会感到恐慌、痛苦和折磨，如今却可以应对，这让我可以始终对自己和世界保持平静、愉悦、乐观和信任的状态。

It’s not that I don’t have any troubles anymore – far from it, but they don’t traumatize me, hijack my life and steal my peace of mind like they used to. After a few minutes, sometimes hours — OK, maybe even days of the “I can’t believe this!” feeling, I take a deep breath, stop struggling, and, eventually, accept what’s before me.

并不是说我再没遇到过麻烦，而是这些问题不再像往常那样让我伤神，束缚我的生活，打扰我平静的心态。“这让我无法接受！”的感觉会持续几分钟、几小时、甚至可能数日之久，但过后我会深吸一口气，停止纠结，接受眼前的事实。

Accepting isn’t the same as condoning or approving. To accept means to stop resisting or struggling against what is because to do so causes pain and suffering. Acceptance means to surrender to the moment as it is. Not give up.

接受并不意味着宽恕或赞同。接受意味着停止反抗或斗争，因为不停抗争会带来痛苦与折磨。接受意味着暂时屈服，任其发展。但这不意味着放弃。

In a video by the author and philosopher, Ekhart Tolle, he indicates that we aren’t able to surrender until we’re completely fed up with suffering. He says that a person has to have had enough and, at some level, recognize that the suffering is self created by their thoughts and that there is another way to live. This was certainly true in my case.

作家兼哲学家埃克哈特·托利在一段视频中讲到，通常我们只有在完全无法忍受的情况下，才会选择妥协。他说，一个人只有经历过无法忍受的极端情况，才会从某种程度上意识到痛苦其实是源于自己的内心，人生还可以换一种方式去生活。从我的亲身经历来看，这是千真万确的。

▲作家兼哲学家埃克哈特•托利

Byron Katie writes in Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life:

拜伦·凯蒂在《一念之转：四句话改变你的一生》一书中写道：

▲拜伦•凯蒂

The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is. When the mind is perfectly clear, what is is what we want.  If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.  You can try and try, and in the end the cat will look up at you and say, “Meow.” Wanting reality to be different than it is is hopeless. 

当我们深信不疑的想法跟真相起了争辩时，我们才会受苦；而唯有内心全然清明之际，眼前的真相才是我们真正要的。如果你“想要的真相”跟“眼前的真相”相互冲突，就犹如试着教猫学狗叫。你当然可以一试再试，到了最后，猫只好紧盯着你叫声“喵~”。只因你要的真相与眼前真相不符，其结果，成功的可能性必然渺茫。（周玲莹 译）

So, while what doesn’t kill you, can make you stronger, you can ease the suffering of going through it by learning to accept what is. 

所以，但凡不能杀死你的，终会使你更加强大，试着学会取舍能让你减轻痛苦，走过这段经历。

来源：The Best Brain Possible

编译：Janet、阿狸、Yoyo

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