Restaurant Review: Accidental Date Night at Yi Jia Ren
Yi Jia Ren is a bad place to take someone with whom you’ve been casually, you know, ‘chilling.’ Let my tale serve as a warning.
Blake* is a dude I hang out with whenever he’s in town. He’s not my boyfriend; we’re not into labels – but who is anymore? It's 2016. What is a date, anyway?
Well, Yi Jia Ren is a bonafide date.
I did not know this, so I went ahead and booked a table for me and my Casual Man-Friend anyway. This is a mistake. Because the moment we enter Yi Jia Ren’s candlelit, floral-scented hallway, I realize saying “let’s grab some casual hot pot at Yi Jia Ren” is like saying “this is totally not a date” and then booking a high-end couple’s massage.
It’s like saying “we’re not a thing” and then wearing matching outfits to TRB’s Valentine’s Day dinner. It’s like saying “we’re just friends,” and then having the conductor at the NCPA pause his orchestra’s performance to let you take the stage, grab the mic, and – while looking past the sea of people at your one-and-only as if you’re alone together in a crowded room – ask, “Will you marry me?”
“Dude, I thought we were just chilling,” she’d reply. Yi Jia Ren is like that.
There are a lot of rose petals. They are artfully scattered across the dark tiled floors and piled around the base of candles, yes candles – of course there are candles. The reigning color is magenta. Yi Jia Ren made headlines last month when it claimed to be the “World’s Most Beautiful Hot Pot.” The overall vibe is traditional Beijing mansion meets Valentine’s Day sale at your neighborhood mall – plus views of Worker’s Stadium. It's a weird mix.
Nonetheless, we like it. While design is a bit over-the-top for our tastes, our literal tastes fare much better. We opt for cuts of premium lamb, premixed sesame and seafood sauces, and wicker baskets full of mushrooms and tofu. Yi Jia Ren uses quality ingredients – a wide variety of them in fact – and gently-flavored soups.
Yi Jia Ren isn’t exactly gaudy, but it’s not subtle, either. But since when have hot pot restaurants been known for their restraint? As far as hot pot restaurants go, Yi Jia Ren is a welcome change of pace – at least from the chaos and subsequent gastrointestinal issues that is the Haidilao hot pot experience. Or the Gui Jie hot pot experience, for that matter. Put simply, few hot pot spots exude the hospitality and comfort of Yi Jia Ren. It is a great place to go if you want to boil your own meat without the clamor or confusion.
As for my date, Blake* was chill about the whole thing. As I said, we’re chill about a lot of things. I do suggest, though, that you take your next casual fling to Taco Bar. I find that works much better.
*Name DEFINITELY changed.
3/F, China View, Bldg 3, 2 Gongti Donglu, Chaoyang 朝阳区工体东路2号中国红街大厦3号楼3层（6777 7456）
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