The top 5 KTVs in Beijing

Who's up for Tsingtao and karaoke?

Whether you can't sing, won't sing or have the voice of an angel and the shamelessness to brag your way through Whitney Houston's greatest hits, karaoke is one of the easiest ways to have a ton of tacky fun in Beijing. Once you've thrown off your sense of shame and warbled a few scales in preparation, get ready to have a disco ball and head down to one of these KTV paradises to sing your little heart out.

Quick note for the KTV novice: unlike in karaoke bars in the West, in which participation tends to involve humiliating yourself on stage to the apathy of a room full of people, KTV is done in private rooms. This means you only have to murder power ballads in front of your pals (and occasionally frenemies), which in our opinion makes for a much more relaxed experience. We're not total masochists.

Ibiza

Ibiza is a winner thanks to its themed rooms and accessible range of English-language songs, including plenty of contemporary pop hits for the type of people who consider slurring your way through Never Gonna Give You Up a little gauche. This mid-range venue in Sanlitun Soho is the perfect introduction to the wonderful, wacko world of KTV, with a central location, minimum of sketchy vibes and plenty of hits to shake your bits to.

Prices Between 22RMB to 140RMB per room per hour, depending on the time of day and room sizes.

Weekdays 1-5pm 65RMB for 3 hours for a small room (1-5 people).

Weekends 5pm-midnight 580RMB for 7 hours for a small room (1-5 people).

Melody (Shuangjing)

Although your tuneless pals might assume that the name is mocking them, Melody operates a chain of KTVs around town and offer a fun, no-frills experience and some infrequently inspired song choices. All the rooms come complete with mood lighting, questionable white marble and the kind of comfy sofas that drunken nappers, bored of endless butcherings of Adele, can't resist. We've even been to a branch of Melody with a standing mic on a raised stage, which made us feel like the superstars we are at heart. Although drinks are a little pricey, they're not overly-strict on the smuggling front, as the bag of McDonald's we took along for the ride last time can testify to.

Prices Between 100RMB to 475RMB per room per hour, depending on the time and room sizes.

Weekdays 11am-7pm 199RMB for 8 hours for a small room (2-5 people).

Weekends 7-11pm 569RMB for 4 hours for a small room (2-5 people).

New York KTV (aka the Disco Brothel)

Where your loyalties lie with regards to this so-bad-it's-good KTV depends on your tolerance of dodgy toilets and general down-at-heel sleaze; whereas some embrace the out-and-out Lynchian vibe of the velour furniture and smoke-stained, vomit-toned interior, we have known the uninitiated to run away screaming. Regardless, it's possibly the cheapest KTV around (350RMB per session, including 12 – yes, 12 – beers and a fruit platter, nach) and you can stay and sing for as long as you want. Honestly, we've been in this dive for upwards of five hour taking shots of snuck-in baijiu and none of the staff batted so much of an eyelid. All hail Disco Brothel!

Prices 350RMB for as many people as you can cram into a room, for as long as you want.

Tango (Ditan Park)

With locations in Gongti and just outside Ditan Park, Tango is KTV on an epic scale. Huge, ever so slightly surreal and with a great selection of songs, these joints are popular among karaoke virgins and veterans alike and don't feel seedy at all; even the sound-systems are above par. Okay, so it's a bit of a labyrinth inside both venues, and a quick trip to the toilet could easily turn into an epic quest involving several wrong turns and an invasion of someone's room to ruin their rendition of One Night in Beijing, but we're fans regardless. The Ditan venue might have a slight edge due to its proximity both to Dada and 24 hour dim sum at next-door Jin Ding Xuan.

Prices Between 30RMB and 190RMB per room per hour, depending on the time and room size.

Weekdays 8am-6pm 92RMB for 3 hours for a small room (1-5 people).

Weekends 5pm-2am 422RMB for 3 hours for a small room (1-5 people).

K Showtime

It might sound like the nickname of the kind of dealer who drives a Fiat Punto and smells faintly of urine, but this behemoth in the environs of the China World Mall provides karaoke in some of the most ostentatious surroundings possible. A singalong here might strike fear into the heart of anyone without the taste levels of a C-list reality TV star, but for ballers and balladeers alike there's nowhere better (and nowhere more quintessentially nouveau riche) to give your vocal chords a pounding.

Prices Between 15RMB and 130RMB per room per hour, depending on the time and room size.

Weekdays 11am-6pm 106RMB for 7 hours for a small room (1-4 people).

Weekends 6pm-2am 304RMB for 4 hours for small room (1-4 people).

Hit 'Read more' for venue addresses, then go and sing like you're onstage at the Workers' Stadium.