The 12 excuses that you'll only hear in Shanghai

Life in Shanghai works a little differently to other places around the world and, as a result, our excuses can often seem a little unorthodox. In cities like London, Paris, or New York, you could never get away with flaking on plans or being late because of Google Maps succumbing to VPN issues, your ayi accidentally locking you out of the house, or a family from out of town making you pose for photos with their baby down by the Bund.

So, the next time your friend/coworker/partner/hook-up offers you one of these excuses, accept it graciously - chances are you're going to to be using one yourself before the week is through.

'I think we should break up. It's not you, it's that your apartment's in Pudong.'

'Sorry I'm later than expected, didn't realise I'd have to change lines at Shanghai Railway Station.'

'I ordered Sherpa's after 5.30pm last night so can't justify spending money on anything today.'

'I can't leave the house today, I had a couple of buckets at Perry's last night and have declared myself legally dead.'

'Gotta go, an agent just messaged me about an apartment with an oven.'

'Can't come out tonight, I'm blind-clicking my way towards faux Chanel on Taobao.'

'We'll have to take a different route, you know I don't go anywhere near People's Square station between 5 and 7pm.'

'I'm gonna be late, messed up my pronunciation and my taxi driver took me to Lujiazui instead of Xujiahui.'

'I'd love to come but it's way out on Line 6 and, frankly, the idea of that scares me.'

'She texted me instead of using WeChat, so this clearly isn't going to work.'

'Can we get food on the way? I tried cooking earlier and realised I'd forgotten how.'

'I would go, but they only take cash and the concept of that seems pretty barbaric, to be honest.'

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