她在城市养大一匹狼，又送它重返狼群，四年后他们重逢，情形却让人心碎｜读书者说

前些日子上映的《重返狼群》（Return to the Wolves）是一部从拍摄到制作都并不算精良的影片。没有明星，没有特效，一些镜头还是用手机拍摄的。

但它却有灵魂，充满虔诚。长达1700个小时的影片素材，一剪就是6年。

故事的女主人公在草原救了一只狼崽孤儿，将它带回城市养大。但后来为守护狼的野性，千辛万苦送其重返狼群。

影片让我们看到了人与狼相处的另一种可能性，来听听主人公的讲述↓↓↓

https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?vid=f05196bspbu&width=500&height=375&auto=0

完成这一切的是一位看似柔弱的女子。是一位80后画家。初遇小狼崽的时候，她20出头。

《狼图腾》（Wolf Totem）的作者姜戎称李微漪为“中国第一狼女”：

（她的经历）让我重温了与小狼一起生活的父子般亲密而痛苦的岁月；帮我实现了我青年时代未能实现的放狼梦想；部分补偿了我对狼族欠下的罪责；也使我看到中国狼文化后继有狼。

——姜戎

最重要的是，世界上鲜有由人类抚养长大的狼放回荒野后能在大自然存活的。

这只创造奇迹的狼名叫格林（Green），跟格林童话的格林（Grimm）谐音。

“与人们熟知的童话里的反面角色‘大灰狼’们不一样，格林让我知道狼是多么的聪明、高贵，甚至充满人性，”李微漪说。

"I hope my Green will rewrite the bad wolf tales," Li says. "Wolves are smart and dignified, and even humane, as I later found."

身边的人看完电影，说深深感知到那种对自由精神的召唤。也有很多人看到了跟自己想象中形象截然不同的狼。

这也是李微漪想要说明的一件事，为此，她已经出版了《重返狼群》、《重返狼群第二部》，还有今年出的《让我陪你重返狼群》。

《重返狼群》和《重返狼群第二部》

《让我陪你重返狼群》

李微漪出生在四川雅安，很小就到成都学画，非常独立。她喜欢动物，收养了不少流浪狗，还经常观摩学习它们的行为。大学时，学了外语专业。

当我跟她面聊的时候，她还能模仿狼的嚎叫和咕哝。

Though she hasn't mingled with the wolf for months, she can still mimic its grunts and howls during the interview.

2010年4月，她到若尔盖草原写生，听说了附近出现了一只狼崽孤儿。故事就从这里开始。

当时正是狼产仔的时候，它的父亲因为偷羊被人打死，而母亲也被毒死。它是它们的六只狼崽中唯一活下来的。

In the highland's pasture area, she heard about a litter of six wolf cubs whose father was killed and mother fatally poisoned.

李微漪第一次见到它的时候，它正在“装死”以自保。

她记得它的耳朵无力地贴在头上，毛又硬又乱，像干草一样，它看起来很虚弱。

李微漪心痛地低声“嚎叫”了出来，那小狼崽居然有反应，跟着声音挣扎着跌进了她的怀里。李微漪再也割舍不下它了。

Afraid of being bitten, Li watched the cub from a distance and uttered several howls of lament. The little wolf reacted and leaned into her embrace, and Li savored the connection.

她将它带回成都的楼顶画室。不到满月，格林的野性就出来。李微漪深深地明白，不能将它养成狗，它也不能被当狗养。作为“狼妈妈”的李微漪，也时常被咬伤。

它满月了，开始有出门走走的机会，但拒绝被上链子，甚至为了抗议，在水泥地上拽着链子把肚皮都磨破了。

When the cub was a month old, Li started to take Green out for exercise. Green refused to be chained or be dragged by the chain."To protest, he once frayed his belly against the cement ground when I dragged him," she says.

后来他俩达成了共识，出门的时候，假装套着链子，但是格林走前面，格林选择去哪里。

格林在李微漪家中

“所以基本上是它在溜我。我一超过他，他就咬断链子跑了。”李微漪说。

李微漪查阅了很多关于养育狼的知识，甚至还写信给国际组织和黄石公园咨询细节。

她既是格林的狼妈妈，又扮演了它的狼同伴，陪它玩耍嬉戏，健康成长。她保留它的尖牙利爪，甚至还播放狼嚎的音频让它学习。

Li played the role of fellow cubs with Green, playing or competing with him. She got hurt frequently, but kept the wolf’s tusks and claws. She even tried to teach Green wolf howls by playing recordings and demonstrating.

格林渐渐大了，城市生活对它来说日渐危险。李微漪不同意送动物园，“我不愿意剥夺属于他的自由，他属于充满竞争和意义的野生世界，”她说。

Growing bigger, Green became a threat in city life. Though sad about separation, Li took Green back to the grassland where he was born in 2010 and made a plan. "I didn't want to deprive Green of the freedom he deserves. He belongs to the competitive and meaningful wild life," Li says.

她决心将它送回若尔盖草原，它出生的地方。

李微漪带着三个月的小狼回到了草原，她先选择了住在獒场。这也被姜戎视作一步聪明的险招。

刚开始它也被藏獒欺负。小狼在战斗中成长了。

李微漪说，她记得《狼图腾》里说狼天生会利用天气对付敌人。正值盛夏，格林挖了个南北向的一米深的洞，躲在里面，在正午又飞身出洞掀翻藏獒的水盆，让藏獒又热又被撕咬。

后来，李微漪带着格林到荒野露营，期待它进一步提升技能直至被狼群最终接受。

她的方法就是，她自己先“野化”，亲身示范——她曾经为了教它抓鼠兔，跟它一起长久蹲守在兔坑外。

All along, she acted with the wolf and trained him like a mother wolf.

To teach Green to hunt, Li huddled with Green in front of a rabbit hole for hours.

李微漪教格林抓鼠兔

而格林是有情有义“孝顺”的好儿子。李微漪在草原得了肺气肿，格林会翻出自己的存粮叼给妈妈。每天早上他会到窗前探望，叼回一块狼山上的石头表示问候。

格林叼来“存粮”给病中的李微漪

2011年的春天，格林走了。此时的格林已经90厘米高，不算尾巴也快一米长了。虽然不舍，李微漪还是放开了手。她后来几次回草原寻狼儿子，都没见它的踪迹。

From a little cub, Green had grown into a wolf 90 cm tall from the head, and 100 cm long, not counting the tail. Li was reluctant to turn to the next page of her life, without Green. She returned to the grasslands several times afterwards to look for the wolf, but never saw him again. 

她从纸片、布片等地方整理她和它在一起整十个月的笔记，写成书，拍成电影和纪录片，就是想告诉人们狼在草原生态中的重要性，狼也折射出了人与自然的关系。

更重要的是，狼不可驯化，它们独立又有自己的品格，有尊严，也有“温情孝顺”的一面。

Most important: She'd like to wipe away the common notion that wolves are evil. "Wolves are not dogs, and they're never pets. They're untamable, independent and have their own characters," Li says

https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?vid=q0011mbn9hv&width=500&height=375&auto=0

记录者·重返狼群（一）片段

跟格林相处的日子让李微漪内心变得更强大，甚至也改变了她的作画风格。

“小狼崽都能千方百计地生存和适应下来，我也不能输给他，”她说。

《中国日报》刊登李微漪和格林的故事后，我们一直有 39 39617 39 15533 0 0 2709 0 0:00:14 0:00:05 0:00:09 3014到读者的来信。有询问李微漪画展的，也有只是转达问候和感谢的。

一位名叫Bart的先生来信说：

“I was sitting in my hotel room here in Beijing when I read your article about Li Weiyi and Green…As a firm believer in protecting the environment and all that live on our planet, it really pushed my buttons. I am still smiling about it…If possible, I would like to ask two favors. First, please offer my sincere thanks to Ms. Li Weiyi for her absolutely astounding efforts. She is a true classy citizen of China and true citizen of our planet. Next, is her book available in an English version?”

我在北京的酒店房间里阅读了关于李微漪和格林的文章……我是坚定的环保主义者，这篇文章让我感慨万千，我现在还在回味呢……如果可能的话，我想请您转告对李微漪的感谢，她是真正的中国好公民，也是地球好公民。另外，这本书有英语版么？

故事……还没有完！

2014年年底，格林主动找到了李微漪，还带着它的家人孩子。

此前还有这样一次“乌龙”。

今天早上我和亦风还在成都。我照常打开电脑准备开始一天的工作，却突然看到微博中弹出一位读者的紧急留言：“微漪，我刚从若尔盖草原旅游回来，格林已经被抓住了，被人用铁链拴在特警部队门口卖呢！”

我脑袋里一阵轰鸣，有那么一瞬间根本看不清屏幕上的字。格林从小被人抚养长大，他对人没什么戒心，自从我们将他放归草原以后，我日夜悬心他会被人抓住，没想到长久以来的噩梦终究成真了。我心急火燎地叫上亦风，立刻开车赶回若尔盖！

——《重返狼群2》

她到了，发现这匹狼不是格林。

那么李微漪怎么辨认格林呢？格林的明显特征如下：

让李微漪没有想到的是，真正再次相见时，格林并没有兴高采烈地向她奔跑过来。李微漪写道：

格林没有过来，不但没有过来，反而退了半步。他抖抖狼鬃，耳朵重新竖直，激烈起伏的胸腔渐渐平息下来，狼眼中的信息转瞬即逝，取而代之的是困惑、疼痛、纠结……

然后她一直往前，它就一直后退。

李微漪25日的时候在微信里告诉我：

“最后一次近距离看见格林的样子，眼神沧桑了，那时候他四岁，下面是他的两个孩子，福仔和小不点，这两个孩子已经被人弄死了。”

在《重返狼群》的序言里，姜戎这样说：

我已精读了四遍《重返狼群》，仍想再读。这部狼书经常让我或冷汗淋漓，或热血沸腾，抑或潸然泪下。最让我情感冲动和意想不到的是小狼最后成功融入狼群，以及狼女和小狼格林为此目标所表现出的大胆进取，不惜冒生命危险的狼性格。这种胆大妄为、成功概率几乎等于零的冒险，居然圆满完成，给予了我精神上空前的震撼……一个中国现代青年女性，能如此敬狼爱狼，能如此深刻理解狼和自由，能有如此自由意志和胆魄，真让我这头“老狼”肃然起敬。

他的《狼图腾》在国内外评价都很高，让·雅克·阿诺执导的同名电影也值得一看。

亚马逊读者John Averyon说该书是一本宝库（Wolf Totem is a treasure）：

“Wolf Totem is a fascinating story…The writing and translation are excellent, some chapters (like the one introducing Swan Lake) are exquisite. The story is told with passion and anyone with a heart for sensitive cultures and ecology will finish the book with a lasting sadness at the loss of both.”

《狼图腾》写了个相当迷人的故事。不管是原著还是翻译都很精彩，有些章节尤其出彩。故事的叙述充满了感染力，每个有一定感悟力的读者，都会对文中描述这特别的文化和生态的变化而唏嘘不已，会感叹这两者的消逝。

企鹅出版社出版，葛浩文（Howard Goldblatt）翻译

中英文对照精彩片段试读（文字可以滚动哦）：

当陈阵在雪窝里用单筒望远镜镜头，套住了一头大狼的时候，他看到了蒙古草原狼钢锥一样的目光。陈阵全身的汗毛又像豪猪的毫刺一般竖了起来，几乎将衬衫撑离了皮肉。毕利格老人就在他的身边，陈阵这次已没有灵魂出窍的感觉，但是，身上的冷汗还是顺着竖起的汗毛孔渗了出来。虽然陈阵来到草原已经两年，可他还是惧怕蒙古草原上的巨狼和狼群。在这远离营盘的深山，面对这么大的一群狼，他嘴里呼出的霜气都颤抖起来。陈阵和毕利格老人，这会儿手上没有枪，没有长刀，没有套马杆，甚至连一副马镫这样的铁家伙也没有。他们只有两根马棒，万一狼群嗅出他们的人气，那他俩可能就要提前天葬了。

As Chen Zhen looked through the telescope from his hiding place in the snow cave, he saw the steely gaze of a Mongolian grassland wolf. The fine hairs on his body rose up like porcupine quills, virtually pulling his shirt away from his skin. Old Man Bilgee was there beside him. This time Chen did not feel as if his soul had been driven out of his body, but sweat oozed from his pores. He had been on the grassland two years but still had not lost his fear of Mongolian wolves, especially in packs. Now he was face to face with a large pack deep in the mountains, far from camp, his misty breath quivering in the air. Neither he nor Bilgee was armed no rifles, no knives, no lasso poles, not even something as simple as a pair of metal stirrups. All they had were two herding clubs, and if the wolves picked up their scent, their sky burial would come early.

陈阵又哆哆嗦嗦地吐出半口气，才侧头去看老人。毕利格正用另一只单筒望远镜观察着狼群的包围圈。老人压低声音说：就你这点胆子咋成？跟羊一样。你们汉人就是从骨子里怕狼，要不汉人怎么一到草原就净打败仗。老人见陈阵不吱声，便侧头小声喝道：这会儿可别吓慌了神，弄出点动静来，那可不是闹着玩的。陈阵点了一下头，用手抓了一把雪，雪在他的掌心被捏成了一坨冰。

Chen exhaled nervously as he turned to look at the old man, who was watching the wolf encirclement through the other telescope. “You’re going to need more courage than that,” Bilgee said softly. “You’re like a sheep. A fear of wolves is in your Chinese bones. That’s the only explanation for why you people have never won a fight out here.” Getting no response, he leaned over and whispered, “Get a grip on yourself. If they spot any movement from us, we’ll be in real trouble.” Chen nodded and scooped up a handful of snow, which he squeezed into a ball of ice.

侧对面的山坡上，大群的黄羊仍在警惕地抢草吃，但似乎还没有发现狼群的阴谋。狼群包围线的一端已越来越靠近俩人的雪窝，陈阵一动也不敢动，他感到自己几乎冻成了一具冰雕……

The herd of Mongolian gazelles was grazing on a nearby slope, unaware of the wolf pack, which was tightening the noose, drawing closer to the men’s snow cave. Not daring to move, Chen felt frozen in place, like an ice sculpture. 

这是陈阵在草原上第二次遇到大狼群。此刻，第一次与狼群遭遇的惊悸又颤遍他的全身。

This was Chen’s second encounter with a wolf pack since coming to the grassland. A palpitating fear from his first encounter coursed through his veins.

……

天越来越冷，大约走了一半路程，太阳被冻得瑟瑟颤抖，缩到地平线下面去了。雪面的寒气升上半空，皮袍的皮板也已冻硬。陈阵晃动胳膊、皮袍肘部和腰部，就会发出嚓嚓的磨擦声。大青马全身已披上了一层白白的汗霜，马踏厚厚积雪，马步渐渐迟缓。丘陵起伏，一个接着一个，四周是望不到一缕炊烟的蛮荒之地。大青马仍在小跑着，并不显出疲态。它跑起来不颠不晃，尽量让人骑着舒服。陈阵也就松开马嚼子，让它自己掌握体力、速度和方向。陈阵忽然一阵颤栗，心里有些莫名的紧张——他怕大青马迷路，怕变天，怕暴风雪，怕冻死在冰雪荒原上，但就是忘记了害怕狼。

The temperature began to fall, and when he was about halfway home, the sun shivered from the deepening cold before retreating to the horizon and slipping from view. Frigid air from the snowy ground rose up, turning Chen’s leather duster hard and brittle. The hide of his mount was covered with a layer of sweat-frost. Their pace slowed as the snow deepened and little hillocks rose in their path. They were deep in the wilds, far from all signs of habitation. The horse trotted on, straight and smooth, so Chen relaxed the pressure on the bit to let the horse determine the pace and direction, as well as how hard it wanted to work. For no obvious reason, Chen suddenly tensed; he shuddered, becoming fearful that the horse might lose its way, fearful that the weather would turn ugly, fearful of being caught in a snowstorm, and fearful of freezing to death on the glacial grassland. The only thing he forgot to fear was the wolves.

快到一个山谷口，一路上大青马活跃乱动、四处侦听的耳朵突然停住了，并且直直地朝向谷口的后方，开始抬头喷气，步伐错乱。陈阵这还是第一次在雪原上单骑走远道，根本没意识到前面的危险。大青马急急地张大鼻孔，瞪大眼睛，自作主张地改变方向，想绕道而走。但陈阵还是不解马意，他收紧嚼口，拨正马头继续朝前小跑。马步越来越乱，变成了半走半跑半颠，而蹄下却蹬踏有力，随时就可狂奔。陈阵知道在冬季必须爱惜马力，死死地勒住嚼子，不让马奔起来。

Just before they reached a ravine, the horse stopped, pointing toward a spot down the ravine. It tossed its head and snorted, its pace no longer steady. Chen Zhen, who had never before ridden alone deep into the snowy grassland, had no inkling of the danger ahead. But the agitated horse, its nostrils flaring, its eyes wide, turned to head away from what lay in front of them. Its intuition was lost on Chen, who pulled the reins taut to turn the animal’s head and keep it moving forward at a trot. Its gait grew increasingly jerky, an erratic combination of walking, trotting, and jolting, as if the animal might bolt at any moment. Chen pulled back hard on the reins.

大青马见一连串的提醒警告不起作用，便回头猛咬陈阵的毡靴。陈阵突然从大青马恐怖的眼球里看到了隐约的危险。但为时已晚，大青马哆嗦着走进了阴森山谷喇叭形的开口处。

As if frustrated that its warning signals were not being heeded, the horse turned and nipped at its rider’s felt boot, and at that moment Chen recognized the danger facing them by the fear in the horse’s eyes. But it was too late, for the horse had carried him into the flared opening of a gloomy ravine on trembling legs.

当陈阵猛地转头向山谷望去时，他几乎吓得栽下马背。距他不到40米的雪坡上，在晚霞的天光下，竟然出现了一大群金毛灿灿、杀气腾腾的蒙古狼。全部正面或侧头瞪着他，一片锥子般的目光飕飕飞来，几乎把他射成了刺猬。离他最近的正好是几头巨狼，大如花豹，足足比他在北京动物园里见的狼粗一倍、高半倍、长半个身子。此时，十几条蹲坐在雪地上的大狼呼地一下全部站立起来，长尾统统平翘，像一把把即将出鞘的军刀，一副弓在弦上、居高临下、准备扑杀的架势。狼群中一头被大狼们簇拥着的白狼王，它的脖子、前胸和腹部大片的灰白毛，发出白金般的光亮，耀眼夺目，射散出一股凶傲的虎狼之威。整个狼群不下三四十头。后来，陈阵跟毕利格详细讲起狼群当时的阵势，老人用食指刮了一下额上的冷汗说，狼群八成正在开会，山那边正好有一群马，狼王正给手下布置袭击马群的计划呢。幸亏这不是群饥狼，毛色发亮的狼就不是饿狼。

Chen turned to look down the ravine and was so terrified he nearly fell off the horse. There on a snow-covered slope not less than fifty yards away was a pack of golden-hued, murderous-looking Mongolian wolves, all watching him straight on or out of the corners of their eyes, their gazes boring into him like needles. The closest wolves were the biggest, easily the size of leopards and at least twice the size of the wolves he’d seen in the Beijing Zoo, half again as tall and as long, nose to tail. All dozen or so of the larger wolves had been sitting on the snowy ground, but they immediately stood up, their tails stretched out straight, like swords about to be unsheathed, or arrows on a taut bowstring. They were poised to pounce. The alpha male, surrounded by the others, was a gray wolf whose nearly white neck, chest, and abdomen shone like white gold. The pack consisted of thirty or forty animals. Afterward, when Chen and Bilgee were rehashing the circumstances of the encounter, the old man wiped his sweaty brow with his finger and said, “They must have been holding a council. The alpha male was likely passing out assignments for an attack on a herd of horses on the other side of the hill. You’d have realized your luck had you known that when their coats shine, they aren’t hungry.”

陈阵在那一瞬其实已经失去任何知觉。他记忆中的最后感觉是头顶迸出一缕轻微但极其恐怖的声音，像是口吹足色银元发出的那种细微振颤的铮铮声。这一定是他的魂魄被击出天灵盖的抨击声。陈阵觉得自己的生命曾有过几十秒钟的中断，那一刻他已经变成了一个灵魂出窍的躯壳，一具虚空的肉身遗体。很久以后陈阵回想那次与狼群的遭遇，内心万分感激毕利格阿爸和他的大青马。陈阵没有栽下马，是因为他骑的不是一般的马，那是一匹在狼阵中长大、身经百战的著名猎马。

In fact, Chen’s mind was wiped clean the moment he spotted them, and the last thing he recalled was a muted but terrifying sound rising up to the top of his head, not unlike the thin whistle you get by blow—ing on the edge of a coin. It must have been the ping his soul made as it tore through his crown on its way out. He felt that his life had stopped for a minute or more. Long afterward, whenever he recalled his encounter with the wolf pack, he silently thanked Papa Bilgee and his dark horse. The only reason he hadn’t fallen off was that the animal had lived its entire life in wolf territory, a battle-tested horse perfectly suited to the hunt. 

李微漪7月14日发微博说：“以狼为主的野生动物保护区已获批，有关部门将严查盗猎贩卖狼皮狼牙及野生动物制品。”

她想对格林说：

“格林，我想抱抱你。如果有一天，妈妈能够再次拥抱你，我希望我的呼唤不再强求，你的眼神不再纠结，妈妈希望您和您的孩子们是在我怀里笑，而不是痛哭哀鸣。”

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