读后续写 ︱2022年高考英语书面表达真题深度解析及变式训练
新高考1卷
第二节(满分25分)
阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。
It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route (路线) through thick evergreen forest.
I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He was small for ten years old. His usual big toothy smile was absent today. I walked over and asked him why he wasn't with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.
What was wrong? He had worked so hard for this event!
I quickly searched the crowd for the school's coach and asked him what had happened. "I was afraid that kids from other schools would laugh at him," he explained uncomfortably. "I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide."
I bit back my frustration (懊恼). I knew the coach meant well-he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me, his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.
David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or running like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him as a regular kid. He always participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team. It just took him longer -that's all. David had not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his run long after the other children, he did always finish. As a special education teacher at the David faced and was school, I was familiar with the challenges the challenges proud of his strong determination.
注意:
1.续写词数应为150左右;
2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。
We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn't look at me.
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.
【参考范文】
We sat down next to each other, but David wouldn’t look at me.Gently and quietly, I said to him: “No one can change you except yourself. If you long to challenge yourself, there is nothing to do with others’ thoughts.” He sat still with a deep breath, and slowly raised his head. I touched his hair, adding, “You have prepared so hard before this event. Why? Because you want to show up here.And you have the ability as well”. Hearing my words, David turned to me, tears spilling out of his eyes, and expressed he had made a firm determination to finish the cross-country run. His coach heard what David said and gave him a determined look. “Come on, son! What are you waiting for?”He said with a loud voice
I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.The race started. It seemed that it was an extremely long way for young children, not to mention a child with a brain disease. David persisted in running as if he had forgotten all his weaknesses, though he was tripped over within the a few kilometers and fell behind other children. But it didn’t take long before he picked himself up again and continued running. Classmates all appeared on the racing track, cheering for him. “Come on! You can make it! We are proud of you, David!” they shouted enthusiastically. To everyone’s delight, he reached the final line and ranked the 30th. However, whether he won the first place or not was not important at all. It was his brave heart and strong determination that counted, which could make something unusual happen finally.
源语篇解读
【语篇大意】作者是一名特殊教育教师,在大型越野赛跑那天,发现患有大脑疾病的大卫独自站在一旁。作者问其原因,他说准备放弃比赛。从教练口中得知,因为担心同学们会嘲笑大卫,所以教练想让大卫自己去决定是否参加赛跑。作者让大卫追寻自己的内心,不理会别人的看法,大卫最终参赛,尽管遇到困难,他战胜了自己,这已经无关名次,而是他的勇敢和坚定让这一切成为可能。
【语篇视角】第一人称视角---特殊学校的教师
【叙事进程】叙述事实/现象/问题---分析事件背后原因---寻求解决方法---呈现解决的效果
【情感发展】(1)由往常表现反观当前异常行为:如“His usual big toothy smile was absent today.”“He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.”(2)因心感懊恼而开启解决之路:如“I bit back my frustration(懊恼).”“After making sure that David could run if he wanted, I turned to ”(3)用教师的同理心去理解帮助孩子:如“As a special education teacher at the school, I was familiar with the challenges David faced and was proud of his strong determination.”
【矛盾冲突】虽然David可以自选是否参赛,但是该如何鼓励他勇敢接受挑战呢?
续写提示语分析
【进程分析】①由第一段首句“我们挨着坐着,但 David不愿看我一眼”和第二段首句“我看着 David和其他选手一起走向起跑线”可知,第一段可描写作者鼓励 David继续完成比赛, David经过强烈的心理斗争,最终决定参加比赛。②由第二段首句“我看着 David和其他选手一起走向起跑线”可知,第二段可描写 David开始参赛,虽然中途遇到困难,但是仍然坚持到最后,完成比赛,并且因此也赢得了对手的敬意。
【情感接续】①根据第一段首句中的“David wouldn’t look at me”可知,David内心有自卑感,参赛的内驱力不足,因而作者需要通过一定的方式(话语)鼓励David,帮助他重建参赛的信心。②根据第二段首句中的“watched”与“moved up to”可以推测出,David已经走出心理阴影,作者也倍感欣慰,但是即便如此,比赛中的种种意外情况也时有发生,因此故事进程中,David可能会因遇到巨大挑战而内心产生波动,作者也会因此对此做出一定的回应。
【矛盾解决】David克服重重困难、坚定信息、相信自我,最终跑完了比赛、赢得了他人的尊敬。
重点写作策略储备
(1)源语篇的解读策略:精准定位分析源语篇中的人物/事件及相关要素特征,把握源语篇的语篇基调、情感要素、事件进程、矛盾焦点等。
(2)人物心理件刻画策略:记叙文写作除了关注故事的“六要素”外,还需要根据源语篇作者对人物、事件等的叙述与描写方法,在续写中予以还原,即在还原故事的同时,还原作者的写作方法。
(3)续写语篇整合策略:续写语篇是人物、事件、矛盾冲突、情感发展、人际关系处理、矛盾的解决之道等的综合体,因此在续写的过程中,必须首先运用一定的技巧,构建这些要素的整合图景。
(4)精准语言表达策略:续写语篇必须站在与源语篇相同的视角上,在模仿源语篇作者的语言特征的同时,精确把握写作要点,精准完成故事的续写。
浙江卷1月读后续写
第二节(满分25分)
阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事
When Dr. Hendersonwas assigning (指定)project mates for his psychology class, I secretly hoped he would pair me with my best friend or at least a classmate I could have some fun with. Above all, I hoped he wouldn't assign me to work with the fiercely competitive, extremely serious fellow who always wore dark clothes and apparently had a personality to match. As fate (命运)would have it, Dr. Henderson very deliberately matched everyone in class and announced that I would be working with the one person in class I wanted to avoid.
I went up to my new teammateand introduced myself. He looked at me as though I weren't there. I felt he treated me as though I would hold him back and probably make him fail to get an A in the course. He wasn't mean or abusive; he just gave me the impression he could do whatever project we dreamed up better if he did it alone.
Needless to say, I didn't look forward to an entire term of being brushed off, but I tried to make the best of it and didn't say anything for fear that I would make things worse.
The project required each team to develop a hypothesis (假说),set up an experiment to test the hypothesis, do the statistical analysis and present the findings. Whatever grade the team received would be shared by both students.
When my teammate and I met to discuss our project, I was uneasy. Here was this challenging student who had a reputation for single-mindedness and good grades—the exact opposite of me. I was outmatched. I actually wanted to drop the class at one point, but stopped short because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of my chickening out. I decided to stick to it no matter what.
After long discussions we somehow agreed to do a study on the psychological well-being of teenagers. I wasn't sure what it meant exactly, but at least we had a topic.
注意:
1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右;
2.至少使用5个短文中标有下划线的关键词语;
3.结部分分为两段,每段的开头语己为你写好;
4.续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。
Para 1.
We started to meet regularly to draw up our plans.
________________________________
Para 2.
One day I got word that he was admitted to hospital for a serious disease.
________________________________
【参考范文 】
We started to meet regularly to draw up our plans.Though I wanted to share my ideas with him fully, I failed to do so for fear that I would hold him back. I just kept nodding when he asked me whether it is ok to do this way or that way. I thought it was impossible to persuade him into accepting my views, so I didn’t want to waste our time to discuss. I started to wait to leave immediately we arrived at the place, and so did he. I just hoped that the presentation day could come earlier.
One day I got word that he was admitted to hospital for a serious disease.I felt so sorry to hear that and I thought I should visit him in any case. He was a little surprised to see me when I stepped into his ward with some flowers and fruits. I offered to do the rest work of our project and he invited me to sharemy ideas to perfect it. We began to work as a fine team and finally finished our project on time. Our hard work paid off and Dr. Henderson’s was very satisfied with our wonderful findings. From this project, we also learned the significance of teammates. Just as the saying goes, one person can go far, but a group of persons can travel farther.
源语篇解读
【语篇大意】本文以事件为线索展开,讲述了作者在一次课上被分配了一个不想要的队友共同完成作业共享分 数,他们从最开始的无法配合到最后圆满完成任务的温暖故事。
【语篇视角】第一人称视角---学生
【叙事进程】老师指派搭档---我被指定与一个自己想回避的同学合作---见面起草---我害怕说错,基本保持沉默,只是顺从他的想法---我们开始经常见面拟定计划---搭档生病住院
【情感发展】
(1)从想要被安排一个自己喜欢的同学到被指定了一个自己不喜欢的同学,内心有些落寞,如“As fate (命运)would have it, Dr. Henderson very deliberately matched everyone in class and announced that I would be working with the one person in class I wanted to avoid.”
(2)从内心抵制到渐渐有了交流,心中慢慢有了接受感,如“I actually wanted to drop the class at one point, but stopped short because I didn't want to give him thesatisfaction of my chickening out. I decided to stick to it no matter what.”
(3)从渐渐融合到最后全力配合,内心倍感同学间友谊的珍贵,如在首句“One day I got word that he was admitted to hospital for a serious disease”提示之后,“我”心情会怎样呢?故事的结尾处“我”的感觉又如何呢?
【矛盾冲突】被指定了一位自己不喜欢与之合作的同学,内心感到不悦,但是是要完全逃避还是全力以赴与之合作呢?
【进程分析】①由续写段落第一段首句内容“我们开始定期见面起草计划。”可知,第一段可描写见面起草过程中所发生的事情以及过程中的心理活动。②由续写段落第二段首句内容“有一天,我听说他因为严重的疾病住院了”可知,第二段可描写我的搭档住院以后,我们是如何应对并最终圆满完成作业的。
【情感接续】①根据第一段首句中的“meet regularly ”可知,“我”的刚开始的“不合作”的心态在慢慢改变。②根据第二段首句中的“to hospital for a serious disease”可以推测出,我会因为同伴的住院而感到忧伤,且同伴因住院而部分继续项目,因此为了整个团队的任务圆满完成,我会尽全力完成项目,此时我的心态会由之前的不合作、观望、随大流等,最终变成了全力以赴地去奋斗、拼搏。
【矛盾解决】探望取得互信后,合作圆满完成完成了任务,并懂得了团队合作的意义。
重点写作策略储备
1.宏观整体布局与表达策略
(2)人物心理件刻画策略:记叙文写作除了关注故事的“六要素”外,还需要根据源语篇作者对人物、事件等的叙述与描写方法,在续写中予以还原,即在还原故事的同时,还原作者的写作方法。
(3)续写语篇整合策略:续写语篇是人物、事件、矛盾冲突、情感发展、人际关系处理、矛盾的解决之道等的综合体,因此在续写的过程中,必须首先运用一定的技巧,构建这些要素的整合图景。
(4)精准语言表达策略:续写语篇必须站在与源语篇相同的视角上,在模仿源语篇作者的语言特征的同时,精确把握写作要点,精准完成故事的续写。
2.微观特写与精确呈现策略
(1)重视背景与伏笔,增强情节发展的协同:故事中有许多细节刻画,以及凸显人物的心理、情感变化的表达,在写作前要仔细思考这些细节与续写部分的联系。
(2)紧扣首句的提示语主题句功能:续写的首句在所在段落中起到主题句或者奠定段落总基调的作用,在语言叙述上需要与首句提示紧密衔接。
(3)适当选用典型句式并回避套句等做法:
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