警惕你身边的“塑料姐妹花”丨Is your friendship with someone toxic?
在你的朋友中一定潜伏着这样一类人：Toxic friends.
他们是你的塑料姐妹花，表面兄弟情，是你朋友圈中的真·小人。
Toxic friends are energetically draining, hypocritical, and not worth your time. But it can sometimes be difficult to pick up on the fact they are causing damage.
这类塑料花们十分虚伪，他们常常耗尽你的精力，不值得你花费时间相处。但事实上，我们往往难以意识到这些人的存在已经破坏了我们的生活。
那么，这些让人精疲力竭的朋友有哪些特征呢？让CD君告诉你！
Here are 13 signs that your friendship is probably toxic and you should get out of it as soon as you can.
以下的13个迹象表明，你很可能正面对着一段有毒的友情，必须尽快结束这段关系！
让我们先干了这杯友谊的毒酒。
1
There's a whole lot of drama
戏精本精
One thing you can guarantee from a toxic person is drama. Chaos seems to surround them somehow, either because they're always arguing with someone, causing problems, or unbelievable things keep happening to them.
这类人最大的特点就是：戏多。他们的生活总是一团糟。他们常常与别人发生口角，引发混乱，身陷是非。
Psychologist and therapist Perpetua Neo said. "A toxic friend tends to be someone who sucks us in either by being very amazing, very grandiose, or by being this sad creature that needs our help."
心理学家和心理治疗医师波佩图阿·尼奥认为：他们擅于将你卷入令人惊奇的浮夸故事中，或是他们常作为悲剧的主人公向你寻求各种帮助。
2
Everything is about them
所有的事都与他们有关
A toxic friend will never really listen to you. They will always be waiting for their turn to speak, or to turn the conversation back to them.
这类朋友很少真正听你说话。他们总是伺机发言并将话头引向他们自己。
"In a novel conversation between people, you can say this thing happened to me too, which is OK because that's where empathy happens, and you form a connection," Neo said. "But then with a toxic person, everything revolves around them. They'll twist it."
“当朋友们一起谈论奇闻轶事时，你可以说自己曾遇到类似事情，因为你产生了共鸣”，尼奥说。“但是，对毒朋友而言，他们总是奇异事件的主人公，而且他们还扭曲情节。”
3
They put you down
他们喜欢贬低你
Neo said a toxic friend will never compliment you. They'll never pick you up or congratulate you on your achievements. In fact, they're much more likely to kick you when you're down.
尼奥认为这类朋友很少称赞你。比起帮助你或是为你的成绩而高兴，他们甚至在你落难时补上一脚。
You'll realize you're never actually happy or relaxed around them because they don't make you feel good about yourself, Neo said. No friendship should be transactional, but if someone is draining all your energy, you should ask yourself whether you're getting anything out of it at all.
你会发现与他们在一起，你不开心、不放松，因为他们从不为你着想。尼奥认为，虽然友谊不是一种交易，但如果在一段关系中你耗尽了全部精力，那么你该偶尔想一想回报了。
4
They compete with you
凡事都要比个高低
Whether it's your job promotion, a romantic partner, or a new class you're doing, your toxic friend will compete with you.They won't like the idea of you having anything that doesn't involve them, and they especially don't want you to excel at something.
无论是升职、恋爱对象还是你正在参加的课程，你这位朋友都想与你一较高低。他们不仅想参与你在做的任何事情，还尤其不喜欢你更擅长某一领域。
5
They secretly copy you
他们偷偷地模仿你
A toxic person will start to mimic you. They might buy the same bag you bought the week before, or start using the same slang words as you.
这些人还开始模仿你，从你用的包到你用的流行语。
Neo said. "It's not uncommon for toxic friends to be very jealous of you, tear you down, and to some extent try to steal your identity. In severe cases, they might pretend to be you and use your photos, like catfishing."
尼奥认为：这些人嫉妒你，打压你，在某种程度上他们想要偷走你的身份。更有甚者编造身份，直接使用你的照片在社交网络上交友。
6
They cross your boundaries
行为逾矩
Toxic people do incredibly inappropriate things. For example, Neo said they may ring you on your house phone when you never gave them the number, or even show up uninvited.
这些人常有不恰当的行为。例如，即使你并没有透露过住宅电话号码，他们依然能给你家里打电话，甚至还会成为你家的不速之客。
They have no respect for your space, and make you feel like you're abandoning them if you push back.
他们不尊重你的私人空间。当你尝试反抗时，他们还让你感觉抛弃了朋友。
7
They are obsessively needy
过分粘人
You might feel like you've gotten yourself an obsessive boyfriend or girlfriend without even asking for it. They'll call and text you at all times of the day, even if you said you're busy.
尽管你提醒过他们你很忙，但他们总是持续给你打电话或发短信，就好像你被动交了一个粘人的恋人。
"They want all your time so it's a very codependent kind of friendship," she said. "So they'll text you all the time and expect a reply. Even if you say I'm going to be really busy over the next six hours, they'll text you just before, and throughout. And if you don't reply they will kick up a storm."
“他们想占据你的所有时间。这是一种依赖性友谊”，尼奥说到。“他们会不停给你发信息并要求你回复。即使你告诉他们自己会连续忙碌六小时，但他们依然会一直联系你。如果你始终没有回复，他们就会大吵大闹。”
8
They're jealous of other friends
嫉妒你的其他朋友
They're likely to criticize your friends to your face, and try and isolate you from them.
他们会当面批评你的朋友，努力让你远离别人。
"They are extremely jealous of your friends and will even go so far as to tell you you're their only friend, and you're the only person they care about," she said. "Even if you're on a date they expect you to drop everything for them."
过度的嫉妒心甚至使他们谎称你是他们唯一的朋友，是他们唯一关心的人。当你在约会时，他们也希望你抛下一切去陪自己。
9
You feel responsible for them
总让你觉得对他们负有责任
Even though they're acting unreasonably, toxic people are skilled at making people feel bad for them.
即使他们表现得很不理智，这类人依然能让别人感到内疚。
"You have this sense of support like you're a lighthouse for them, and if you collapse, they'll collapse," she said. "If you decide to spend your time with somebody else, what if they do something bad? If you don't answer them, what if they hurt themselves?'
有时你觉得你就像他们的灯塔。一旦你倒下了，他们也会跟着倒下。当你决定与别人相处时，你总会担心他们是否会做出一些不好的事; 如果你不搭理他们，他们是否会伤害自己。
10
They're hypocritical
他们很虚伪
While they make you feel bad for not making enough time for them, toxic people won't ever feel bad for letting you down. But because they're so irrational and dramatic, you'll let them get away with it as you don't want to set them off.
你会因为没有陪伴他们而感到愧疚，但当他们让你失望时，他们却并不难过。他们太戏精了，所以你一般会原谅他们。
"They might owe you money and pretend they never owed you, and rewrite history," Neo said. "So you may feel irritated and angry, but because you don't want to trigger them and their difficulties, so you take a step back."
“他们会否认欠你的钱，并且篡改事实。”尼奥说道。“你很生气，但因为不想刺激他们，所以做出了退让。”
11
They lie to get sympathy
常常说谎以求同情
Toxic people always have a sad backstory. They'll probably tell tales of how they're an alcoholic, have a drug problem, were abused when they were young, or how everything goes wrong for them. "Woe is me" is their catchphrase.
这群人似乎都有一些不好的过往。他们或许有吸毒史和酗酒问题，或是在童年遭受过虐待。总之他们的一切都那么悲伤，那么使人同情。“我就是悲剧本剧”是他们的口头禅。
12
You're always set up for failure
他们让你感到挫败
Putting on public displays of drama are a toxic person's favourite activity. If you haven't done anything obvious towards them in a while, they might set you up for failure. For example, they could say you promised to go to the cinema with them and you stood them up, when that conversation never happened.
在公众场合“飙戏”是这类戏精最喜欢做的事情。也许你还没有做什么，但是他们会让你相信你们做过这些事。譬如，他们会声称与你约好去看电影，但最后你却爽约了。其实你们之间根本没有这样的约定。
13
You'll feel something is wrong
你总觉得不对劲
"You can not figure out what the hell is going on," Neo said. "Your brain runs over time, and your mental energy is being sucked out by this person all the time. You don't only feel responsible, you feel destabilized around them. Some people make the room feel a bit funny. Your body is a barometer telling you that they're trouble."
你无法说出具体是哪里不对劲，但是这些人榨干你的精力，你的大脑无法休息。你不仅感觉自己要对他们负责，还总是感到不安。如果一些人的存在让你无法忍受，那么这就是你的身体在提醒你：他们就是那些麻烦人物！
你身边有这些毒朋友吗？
Source: Business Insider
Editor: Zhang Xi
Translator: Lin Yuting (intern)
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