The Painful Clichés of a Laowai Beauty Pageant
This article originally appeared on August 17, 2017 (Thursday) as part of the Throwback Thursday series column.
Ah ... And here we thought beauty pageants are a thing of the past. Well, they are (and thank the Heavens). Even though Miss Universe is still a running tradition, we don't actually know anyone who watches it (except Trump). While this week we struggle with offensive foreigner-targeting rap, seven years ago, foreign beauty and talent were hugely celebrated in Beijing. Unfortunately, in an obnoxiously straightforward, objectifying and dull way – with a beauty pageant. Because what screams louder about the achievements of women from around the world than lining them up on stage in evening dresses, with many of them in this case literally screaming?
The official website for the pageant seems to be inactive as of now. However, from the bits and pieces around the internet, it seems like the event was all about dreaming big, creating world peace and finding hidden talents. Interestingly, the mixed group of Chinese and foreign organizers claimed to be aiming to "show all things Chinese through the foreigners in China." Maybe it's good that Chinese are culturally sensitive to different topics than those from the West, because that sounds exactly like a path of good intentions leading to cultural appropriation.
There were 19 participants in total, hailing from Thailand, Indonesia, Russia (naturally outnumbering the other countries), Moldova, Liberia, among others. Reading the witness reviews, we can't help but cringe. Tickets came close to RMB 600 for VIP seats with unlimited food and drinks that ended up being a sandwich and a bottle of beer, no rehearsals, crashing computers, hosts calling participants "ladies of the night" and ... you get the gist. By the way, reportedly half of the 900 spectators in the audience was gone by the second half of the contest.
A Russian contestant who we believe is definitely talented. Just maybe not in singing
The participants had to display their broad talents in several categories: Chinese talent (think, Chinese-y dance with a polyester qipao), personality and national dress, country of origin talent (which somehow involved making balloon animals), love duets (there were reportedly 800 songs sung during the competition of 19 participants), evening gown, Q&A, and finally, posture and composure.
Apparently, crowning the wrong person is a longstanding tradition in beauty pageants, one that perhaps even originated in Miss Laowai 2010 and later fudged again by Miss Universe 2015. With the lack of preparation and the organizers' happy-go-lucky attitude (looking at all the bloopers of the event – not that lucky), it was just doomed to happen. Before the real winner, a 22-year-old Moldovian was crowned Miss Laowai, the host reportedly blurted out a random name while the votes were still officially being counted, leading to plenty of awkward smiling on stage.
The contestants were also awarded in other, more specific categories: Miss Goodwill, Miss Charity, Miss Talent, Miss Congeniality, and Miss Virtue. The crowned Miss Laowai was to dedicate a full year to serving as an international spokesperson, advocacy for and inspiring a renewed interest in her country, and increasing awareness of social and cultural health and wealth.
READ: Is it Offensive to Be Called a Laowai?
Not only did the contest seem to have been a very special day for Beijingers, media coverage also took it upon themselves to give it an even more interesting twist, or, a finger:
Miss Laowai
Don't trust our bashing, check out a short video (VPN on) from the Miss Laowai pageant and form your own opinion: vimeo.com/14971603.
While researching and writing about the Miss Laowai contest, we actually started discussing the idea of giving the beauty pageant another chance. It's been seven years now, and we are sure we couldn't execute the idea any worse than they already have. So watch out, maybe after the upcoming Pizza Cup 2017, the Beijinger will be inviting you to show off your unique laowai talents in a pageant of our very own. And we promise to keep our fingers to ourselves.
Images: Vimeo.com, Shanghaiist.com, AskMen.com, CDN.newsday.com
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