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Thunder Shit, Tongue Bitch: Western Celebrities' Chinese Names

Tracy & Gloria theBeijinger 2019-05-28

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Thanks  to a younger, more web-savvy, and linguistically creative generation of  netizens, Western celebrities are increasingly known by strange and  often obscure nicknames in China. These monikers are often selected  based on the star's background or simply sprout from the mind of some  crazed fan with enough online traction to get a term to stick. This is  in contrast to the previously preferred method of simply selecting a  direct phonetic translation. The result? Some seriously weird and wacky  nicknames and swaths of fans who refer to themselves as "little shits."  Let the fun begin.


Fruit Sister

Katy Perry is known in Chinese as "Fruit Sister" (水果姐 shuǐguǒ jiě), thanks to her penchant for costumes and props featuring giant fruits. Stranger still is how Perry's fans refer to themselves as 狸屎 (lí shǐ)  AKA civet shit, the fecal matter of the small, nocturnal mammal found  in Asia and Africa made notorious for having coffee beans fed through it  to create Kopi Luwak in Indonesia. Why civet shit specifically? Because  Perry's other nickname happens to be civet (果子狸 guǒzilí), apparently due to its similarity to the pronunciation of "Perry" (bend your ears for that one). Her fans therefore like to refer to themselves as their idol's poop. To each their own...


Little Li

Leonardo DiCaprio's 小李子 (xiǎo lǐzi) is one of the easiest nicknames to explain. Many years ago, DiCaprio's name was translated into Cantonese to 李奥那多 (lǐàonàduō). Since 李 () is a common Chinese surname, people simply began to call him 小李 (xiǎo lǐ). In 2016, 小李 recognized his China-based fans by creating a Weibo account, sending one post saying "hello China" and gaining 1.25 million followers almost instantly. These days, he has over 22 million followers and uses the account to promote environmental causes and wildlife protection.


Ben Meow
Then we get celebrities who have acquired names based on the odd factoids that circulate about them in the press. English actor
Ben Whishaw AKA the voice of Paddington Bear, for example, is known as 本喵 (běn miāo)  i.e. Ben Meow. Why? Because he once owned 13 cats (but strangely enough  didn't pick up the nickname "cat shit," unlike poor old Katy Perry).

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Fù Lánlan

James Franco’s last name was phonetically transliterated as 弗兰哥 fù lán gē, but fans thought that the character 哥 meaning 'brother' was too masculine for the Hollywood star, who is widely rumored to be gay, so they settled on the cuter, more feminine 付兰兰 fù lánlan instead.


Loser

Taylor Swift's nickname is 霉霉 (méimei), which comes from 倒霉 (dǎo méi), or loser, and was settled on because of her now distant past as an underdog, forever coming in second place when it came to big awards.


Turtle

Lady Gaga's fans call themselves 鳖屎 (biē shǐ), a sarcastic comment on the idea of Lady Gaga not being trendy, calling her 鳖 (biē, turtle), which comes from 土鳖 (tǔ biē) i.e. someone who has no fashion sense.


Little Sister A
In China,
Ariana Grande is simply called A妹 (A mèi), meaning "little sister A." Not so special perhaps, but it does mean that her fans call themselves A屎 (A shǐ) – each one is therefore literally A Shit.


Thunder

Lana Del Rey’s nickname 打雷 (dǎ léi) comes from a phonetic transliteration that happens to also mean "thunder." As with Grande above, that in itself may not be so exciting, except for the fact that her fans are called 雷屎 (léi shǐ) "thunder shits." We'll leave the rest to your imagination.


Spicy Chicken

Nicki Minaj, meanwhile, has the rather creative nickname of "Spicy Chicken" (麻辣鸡 málàjī) due to the phonetic similarity between Minaj and 'málàjī.' This is one nickname we think is extremely appropriate.


Curly Luck

Benedict Cumberbatch's nickname in Chinese is 卷福 juǎn fú, meaning Curly Luck because of his portrayal of Sherlock Holmes (福尔摩斯 fú'ěrmósī) in the BBC’s popular TV series Sherlock. His fans took the first character 福  which also means luck, to differentiate him from other actors who have  previously played the role of Sherlock (think Jeremy Brett, Basil  Rathbone, Peter Cushing... well, the younger netizens might not know  them). The curly part? Well, we think you can guess.


Aunty Gold
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the one person on this list to bag the nickname Aunty Gold (金大妈 jīndàmā) would be
Kim Kardashian. Thanks to the enormous success of her family reality show Keeping Up With the Kardashians, Chinese people have correctly surmised that Kardashian is obsessed with money. The fact that the usual Chinese translation for the name Kim is 金 jīn “gold” doesn't hurt either.


Tall, Rich, Handsome
Well, this one's just nice. Talented Scottish singer and songwriter
Calvin Harris has bagged the nickname 高富帅 gāo fù shuài, meaning literally Tall, Rich, and Handsome, for being well, all three. No arguments here.


Tongue Bitch
If someone mentions tongue and celebrity, the person likely to pop into your head is probably Miley Cyrus (unless you're over 30, in which case it's Gene Simmons). The rather unfortunate nickname 舌婊 shébiǎo or Tongue Bitch has been given to Cyrus for her penchant for sticking out her tongue during her infamous Wrecking Ball period.


Boss Jiǎ
American singer, actor, producer, and host
Justin Timberlake is referred to as 贾老板 jiǎ lǎobǎn in Chinese due to his many accomplishments. Jiǎ sounds a bit like the start of 'Justin,' and given that Timberlake owns multiple brands, a golf course, a production company, and a multitude of other businesses, for many, Timberlake defines the image of a successful boss (who happens to be well-liked).


Cow Sister
Though not so flattering upon first inspection, the queen of singing
Mariah Carey has been gifted the nickname of Cow Sister (牛姐 niújiě) on account of it also meaning "skilled" AKA 牛逼 niú bī in Chinese slang.


Little Broken Team
When someone says "little broken team" or 小破团 xiǎopòtuán, which band do you think of? Apparently the legions of 
One Direction fans were particularly perturbed by the resignation of Zayn Malik, forcing the dreamboat ensemble to go their separate, handsome ways and giving the disbanded heartthrobs a new name in the process.


Stone Faced Girl
Finally, Stone Faced Girl (面瘫女 miàntānnü) is the hardened nickname for the star of the Twilight series,
Kristen Stewart. Equally as famous for her resting bitch face as her role in the world's most insufferable teenage vampire movie series ever, we think this moniker is especially appropriate.

Want to avoid  being called Giant Turd or Conspicuous Eel? Read this article about  choosing a Chinese name so that you don't sound like a weirdo.


Photos: Giphy


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