面对固执己见的人,一味隐忍退让你就输了
小佛爷说
几乎每一位领导者都研究过乔布斯的天才之举,但很少有人研究成功说服他的那些人的才能。实际上,苹果的成功在很大程度上源于他的团队,假如乔布斯身边没有聚集起一群知道该如何说服他,并让之改变想法的人,他可能无法改变这个世界。那么,如何像说服乔布斯一样,让你身边那些爱唱反调的老板或者固执己见的同事敞开心扉接受他人的看法,本文提供了一些方法。
史蒂夫·乔布斯(Steve Jobs)的传奇之处在于,他用自身信念的力量改变了我们的生活。按照传奇的叙事,他之所以伟大是因为能让世界跟随他的想象力而改变。实际上,苹果的成功在很大程度上源于他的团队,假如乔布斯身边没有聚集起一群知道该如何说服他,并让之改变想法的人,他可能无法改变这个世界。
乔布斯有几年时间一直坚称自己永远不会去做手机。团队终于说服他重新考虑这件事,此后他却禁用外部应用;随后团队又用了一年时间说服他改变心意。九个月内,应用商店的下载次数达到数十亿,十年后iPhone的营收一骑绝尘。
几乎每一位领导者都研究过乔布斯的天才之举,但让人惊讶的是,很少有人研究成功说服他的那些人的才能。作为组织心理学家,我花时间研究过几位成功激励乔布斯重新思考的人,并分析了技巧背后的科学原理。坏消息是,很多领导者都太过自负,会拒绝他人有价值的观点和主意,不愿意放弃自己的坏点子。好消息是,即便是最自负、最顽固、最自恋、最爱唱反调的人,也有可能敞开心扉接受他人的看法。
越来越多的证据显示,个性特征不一定会在所有环境下都保持一致。想想那些主导型管理者偶尔的温顺、那些超级争强好胜的同事间或表现出来的配合,还有那些长期拖延者提早完成的几次工作。每一位领导者都有在特定情况下做出特定反应的“如果……就……”的情况,即会以某种方式回应特定情境。主导型管理者如果是面对上司,就会变得很温顺。争强好胜的同事如果是在与重要客户打交道,就会切换至合作模式。拖延者如果面临着一个重要事情的截止日期,就会积极行动起来。
计算机代码由一连串的“如果……那么……”指令组成,而人类则要复杂得多,但我们也有一些可预测的反应。即便一根筋的人也有灵活变通的时候,而即便是思想最开放的人也有闭目塞听时。因此,如果想要和似乎不可理喻的人讲道理,你要留意一下他们(或者其他类似的人)会在何种情况下改变想法。下文提供一些方法,可以帮助你让那些“万事通”意识到自己还需要学习,让固执己见的同事转变态度,让自恋者表现出谦逊,让爱唱反调的老板同意你的看法。
英文原文节选
The legend of Steve Jobs is that he transformed our lives with the strength of his convictions. The key to his greatness, the story goes, was his ability to bend the world to his vision. The reality is that much of Apple’s success came from his team’s pushing him to rethink his positions. If Jobs hadn’t surrounded himself with people who knew how to change his mind, he might not have changed the world.
For years Jobs insisted he would never make a phone. After his team finally persuaded him to reconsider, he banned outside apps; it took another year to get him to reverse that stance. Within nine months the App Store had a billion downloads, and a decade later the iPhone had generated more than $1 trillion in revenue.
Almost every leader has studied the genius of Jobs, but surprisingly few have studied the genius of those who managed to influence him. As an organizational psychologist, I’ve spent time with a number of people who succeeded in motivating him to think again, and I’ve analyzed the science behind their techniques. The bad news is that plenty of leaders are so sure of themselves that they reject worthy opinions and ideas from others and refuse to abandon their own bad ones. The good news is that it is possible to get even the most overconfident, stubborn, narcissistic, and disagreeable people to open their minds.
A growing body of evidence shows that personality traits aren’t necessarily consistent from one situation to the next. Think of the dominant manager who is occasionally submissive, the hypercompetitive colleague who sporadically becomes cooperative, or the chronic procrastinator who finishes some projects early. Every leader has an if…then profile: a pattern of responding to particular scenarios in certain ways. If the dominant manager is interacting with a superior…then she becomes submissive. If the competitive colleague is dealing with an important client…then he shifts into cooperative mode. If the procrastinator has a crucial deadline coming up…then she gets her act together.
Computer code is a string of if…then commands. Humans are a lot messier, but we too have predictable if…then responses. Even the most rigid people flex at times, and even the most open-minded have moments when they shut down. So if you want to reason with people who seem unreasonable, pay attention to instances when they—or others like them—change their minds. Here are some approaches that can help you encourage a know-it-all to recognize when there’s something to be learned, a stubborn colleague to make a U-turn, a narcissist to show humility, and a disagreeable boss to agree with you.
亚当·格兰特(Adam Grant)| 文
亚当·格兰特是组织心理学家、沃顿商学院管理学教授,著有《多想一想》(Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know,暂译,2021年维京出版社出版)一书。
孙莉莉 | 译 蒋荟蓉 | 校 腾跃| 编辑
公司战略频频失败,到底是谁的错?
女性离开职场,企业的损失有多大?
关于SPAC,你需要了解的那些事
《哈佛商业评论》中文版 联系方式
投稿、广告、内容和商务合作
newmedia@hbrchina.org