34 岁前犯下的 34 个错误 by Ryan Holiday
// Ryan Holiday 是畅销书《增长黑客营销》《被新闻出卖的世界》《绝对自控》《反障碍》的作者，他的书在全世界范围内被翻译成为 30 多种语言出版。Ryan 在 20 几岁时就成为了上市公司的营销总监，现在创办了自己的创意咨询公司 Brass Check，客户包括 Google、Tony Robbins、Tim Ferriss、Complex Media 等公司和个人。
// 他在 34 岁生日前夕写下了这篇《34 Mistakes on the Way to 34 Years Old》，我对照机翻本文推荐如下。英文原版见左下角原文链接。
The great Hyman Rickover used to say that success teaches nothing, only failure is educational. I don’t know if that’s completely true, but I will say that my own short time on this planet has had its share of teachable moments rooted in mistakes, usually of my own making.
伟大的海曼 · 里科弗曾经说过，成功什么也教不了，只有失败才有教育意义。我不知道这是不是完全正确，但我要说，我在这个星球上的短暂时间里，也有一些可以受教的时刻，这些时刻植根于错误，通常是我自己犯下的错误。
For going on ten years now, I have done a piece on my birthday around the idea of lessons learned, either from preceding twelve months or over the course of my life up to that point. This year, at 34, I thought I’d focus exclusively on my failures and what they’ve taught me. And I can assure you, ten years into my career as a published author, ten years into entrepreneurship, and going on fifteen years with my now wife, five years into having a family, I have made lots of mistakes.
到现在已经十年了，我在自己的生日那天写了一篇文章，是关于从之前的十二个月或者从我的生命历程中学到的经验教训。今年，在我34岁的时候，我认为我应该专注于我的失败和他们教给我的东西。我可以向你们保证，我作为一个出版作家的职业生涯已经进行了十年，创业已经进行了十年，和我现在的妻子一起生活了十五年，组建了一个家庭已经五年，我犯了很多错误。
If I have been successful at all, it’s been through learning from these mistakes (painfully) and by benefiting from the mistakes of others (a less painful way to learn). With that, I share these things I learned the hard way…or continue to struggle with.
如果我真的成功了，那也是通过从这些错误中学习(痛苦地) ，从别人的错误中获益(一种不那么痛苦的学习方式)。有了这些，我分享了这些我通过艰难的方式学到的东西... ... 或者继续与之斗争。
Also check out my pieces from 33, 32, 31, and however else long I have been writing this annual piece.
还可以看看我的33,32,31篇文章，不管我写这篇年度文章的时间有多长。
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[*] If I had to go back and give a younger version of myself one word of advice it would be: “Relax.” It’s almost
[ * ]如果让我回到过去，给年轻版的自己一个字的建议，那就是: “放松。”我对某些事情如此强烈、充满激情、焦虑不安，以至于回想起来，我对那些无关紧要的事情如此认真，以至于我甚至都不记得了，这几乎是荒谬的。诚然，认真、承诺和雄心壮志是美德(至少比它们的对立面更为重要) ，但是过了头，它们就变成了负担，最重要的是对幸福和客观性的负担。
[*] When I look back on my own writing, the stuff that makes me cringe isn’t necessarily even stuff I was wrong about. What disturbs me is the certainty. I thought I knew, but I didn’t really know. I wasn’t even close to knowing. Ego never ages well, even if it was correct in a narrow instance. As I get older, I’d like to think I am more open to nuance, less prone to black and white statements, and humbler in how I come off.
[ * ]当我回顾自己的写作时，那些让我畏缩的东西甚至不一定是我错了的东西。困扰我的是确定性。我以为我知道，但我真的不知道。我一点都不知道。自我永远不会成熟，即使它在某些情况下是正确的。随着年龄的增长，我更愿意接受细微的差别，更不倾向于非黑即白的陈述，更谦逊地表达自己的观点。
[*] My first book was an exposé about media manipulation and fake news. I was convinced that if it didn’t come out right away, I’d get scooped, or miss my window of opportunity. This is what I was anxiously insisting to my publisher…in 2011! I thought I was out of time, in fact I was probably a half decade early (it’s second best sales week was in 2017!). Stuff is better when you don’t rush. If you think you have to rush, you’re either whipping yourself for no reason, or pursuing something too ephemeral to begin with.
[ * ]我的第一本书是关于媒体操纵和假新闻的曝光。我确信如果它不马上出来，我就会被挖出来，或者错过我的机会之窗。这就是我在2011年焦急地向我的出版商所坚持的！我觉得我已经过时了，事实上我可能提前了五年(2017年是销售第二好的一周!).当你不急于求成的时候，事情会变得更好。如果你认为你必须赶时间，你要么无缘无故鞭笞自己，要么从一开始就追求一些太过短暂的东西。
[*] I also should have fought harder on the title of my first book (I wanted to call it Confessions of a Media Manipulator, not Trust Me, I’m Lying), and I should have stuck to my guns about the prologue of Ego is the Enemy (I didn’t want to be in it, they wanted me in it). In creative disputes, the publisher/studio/investors/etc are not always wrong but they often are. And even when they’re not, you have to remember, that whatever the decision, you have to live with it in a way that they do not. I’ve regretted anytime I did not go with what was in my heart as an artist.
[ * ]我还应该更努力地争取我的第一本书的书名(我想把它叫做《媒体操纵者的自白》 ，而不是相信我，我在撒谎) ，我应该坚持自己的观点，认为《自我是敌人》的序言(我不想出现在里面，他们希望我出现在里面)。在创造性的争论中，出版商/工作室/投资者/等等并不总是错的，但他们经常是错的。即使他们不是，你也要记住，无论做出什么决定，你都要以一种他们不能接受的方式生活。任何时候我都会后悔，因为我没有像一个艺术家那样去追求我内心深处的东西。
[*] The book I am most proud of is my book Conspiracy. The only parts of it I wish I could do differently are the few instances which, in retrospect, I was too conscious of what other people might think (particularly journalists). I should have just played it exactly how I felt like playing it. Again, do what’s in your heart.
[ * ]我最引以为豪的是我的书《阴谋论》(Conspiracy)。我唯一希望自己能够做得不同的是，回想起来，我对其他人(尤其是记者)的想法过于敏感。我应该完全按照自己的想法去做。再说一次，做你心里想做的事。
[*] It took moving to Downtown LA before its resurgence, then Silverlake before its, then New Orleans, then East Austin before I understood, “Hey, maybe I’m pretty good at picking neighborhoods.” I’m not saying that I should have bought lots of property in each place, I’m just saying if I had, I’d be a very rich man. Each time I was kind of cautiously dipping my toe in the water instead of taking the time to really think about what I was doing and what I wanted. Big missed opportunities. Especially because I suspect this skill (sensing the next big or cool thing) declines precipitously with age and once your moment, you’ve lost out on it forever.
[ * ]在它复兴之前，我搬到了洛杉矶市中心，然后是银湖，然后是新奥尔良，然后是东奥斯汀，我才明白，“嘿，也许我很擅长挑选邻居。”我并不是说我应该在每个地方都买很多房子，我只是说如果我买了，我会成为一个非常富有的人。每次我都小心翼翼地试水，而不是花时间去真正思考我在做什么，我想要什么。错过了很多机会。特别是因为我怀疑这种技能(感知下一个重要或酷的东西)会随着年龄的增长而急剧下降，一旦你拥有了这种技能，你就永远失去了它。
[*] Why did I move to New York? I guess I thought I was supposed to. It wasn’t a mistake exactly, but it’s definitely not the right place for me to live—not permanently anyway. Life is too short to live somewhere that doesn’t make you happy.
[ * ]我为什么要搬到纽约？我想我认为我应该这么做。确切地说，这并不是一个错误，但它绝对不是适合我居住的地方ーー至少不是永久的。生命太短暂了，不能生活在一个不能让你快乐的地方。
[*] As I explained on reddit a while back, I wish I had gotten married and had kids earlier. I wasn’t really late for my age bracket (29 and 30), but when I look back at the last few years—including even the pandemic—I’m not sure what I waited for. Elizabeth Bruenig’s New York Times piece on having kids at 25 expressed this better than I can, but I think I was worried I wasn’t ready, but the truth is you’re never ready. You learn by doing. You’re only putting off the thing that will provide you the most meaning and joy in your life.
[ * ]正如我不久前在 reddit 上解释的那样，我希望我能早点结婚生子。对于我的年龄段(29岁和30岁)来说，我并没有真的迟到，但是当我回顾过去几年——甚至包括流行病——我不知道我在等什么。伊丽莎白 · 布鲁尼格在《纽约时报》关于25岁生孩子的文章中比我更好地表达了这一点，但我想我担心自己还没有准备好，但事实是你永远都没有准备好。你在实践中学习。你只是在拖延那些能给你生活带来最大意义和快乐的事情。
[*] In 2013, I started a business with a partner that my wife warned me against working with. I remember explaining to her why she was wrong and that I couldn’t possibly not do this because of some vague gut instinct of hers. It would turn out to share a commonality with almost all my mistakes and regrets: Not listening to my wife from the beginning. Anyway, this business turned into a nightmare, and it turned out that this partner was not someone I should have worked with. Who knew?
[ * ]2013年，我与一位合伙人创办了一家企业，我的妻子警告我不要与这位合伙人合作。我记得我向她解释为什么她是错的，我不可能不这样做，因为她的一些模糊的直觉。事实证明，我所有的错误和遗憾都有一个共同点: 从一开始就不听妻子的话。不管怎样，这个生意变成了一场噩梦，结果发现这个合伙人不是我应该合作的人。谁知道呢？
[*] I bought my first bitcoin somewhere under $500. I’m still here working for a living, so that should tell you all you need to know about what kind of investor/gambler I am. It’s not that I’m afraid of risks, it’s that I have trouble putting the right amount behind risks when I take them.
[ * ]我在不到500美元的地方买了第一个比特币。我仍然在这里工作谋生，所以这应该告诉你所有你需要知道的，关于我是什么样的投资者/赌徒。这并不是说我害怕风险，而是不知道该承担多少风险。
[*] Most of my regrets—things I wish I’d done, things I wish I’d said, stands I wish I’d taken—have one thing in common: Fear. We worry about what will happen if…But Marcus Aurelius has the answer: “You’ll meet tomorrow with the same weapons you have now.” I should have quit certain jobs sooner, I should have come out and said what I thought more clearly, I should have believed that I’d figure out how to get through it, even if things went wrong.
[ * ]我的大部分遗憾ーー我希望自己做过的事情，我希望自己说过的话，我希望自己当时采取的立场ーー都有一个共同点: 恐惧。我们担心会发生什么，如果... ... 但马库斯奥勒留有答案: “你面对明日风险时所持的武器，其实今日就有。”我应该早点辞掉某些工作，我应该站出来把我的想法说得更清楚，我应该相信即使事情出了差错，我也能找到解决的办法。
[*] If you’d asked me in January 2020, if I could survive—professionally and personally—with no travel, no events, no dinners out, no get-togethers, I’d have said absolutely not. As it turns out, the last fifteen months have been not only rewarding but immensely productive in every sense. Why? Because clearly, those things I thought I had to do, I didn’t not actually have to do. I’m actually better and happier when I don’t.
[ * ]如果你在2020年1月问我，我是否能够在没有旅行、没有活动、没有晚餐、没有聚会的情况下生存下去ーー无论是工作上还是个人生活上ーー我会说绝对不行。事实证明，过去的15个月不仅是值得的，而且在各个方面都非常富有成效。为什么？因为很明显，那些我认为我必须做的事情，其实我并不是真的必须去做。事实上，当我不这样做的时候，我会变得更好，更快乐。
[*] That’s another lesson learned the hard way: Don’t say “Maybe” when you really want to say “no.” Just say no. The only person making a big deal about it is you. Just say no. How many events/meetings/wastes of time are you going to agree to and then regret before you learn this?
[ * ]这是另一个艰难的教训: 当你真的想说“不”时，不要说“也许”，只要说不就行了。唯一对此大惊小怪的人就是你自己。只要说不就行了。你会同意多少事件/会议/浪费时间，然后在你学会这些之前后悔？
[*] It was sweetly painful over the fifteen months of the pandemic to get more than a year of consecutive bedtimes with my kids, to get an uninterrupted streak of morning walks and afternoons in the pool. It was sweet because I loved every minute of it. It was painful because I had chosen not to have this before, I had so often chosen the other things, the less important things we throw into that bucket of “work responsibilities.” It is intimidating to contemplate how easily it will be to slip back into the old way of doing things too.
[ * ]在疫情爆发的15个月里，我与孩子们连续一年多的就寝时间，连续不间断地在早晨和下午在游泳池里散步，这是一种甜蜜的痛苦。这是甜蜜的，因为我喜欢它的每一分钟。这很痛苦，因为我以前没有选择这样做，我经常选择其他事情，那些我们扔进“工作责任”桶里的次要事情。想到要回到过去那种做事的方式是多么容易，就让人感到害怕。
[*] It’s clear to me in retrospect that my desire for approval, for being seen, for being a part of something important or newsworthy or exciting, blinded me to the character of certain people I worked for. Of course, this was something those people understood and exploited in me and lots of other more
[ * ]回想起来，我清楚地知道，我渴望得到认可，渴望被人看到，渴望成为某些重要的、有新闻价值的或令人兴奋的事情的一部分，这些都让我对自己工作的某些人的性格视而不见。当然，这些人理解并利用了我和其他许多脆弱的受害者，但这仍然是我的责任。你必须清醒地意识到，你小时候经历的创伤会让你成为一个标记，或者在你的生活中创造出一些模式。发生在你身上的事情不是你的错，如果你不学会如何相应地调整，那就是你的错。
[*] Of all the people (or types of people) I’ve had strong negative opinions or judgements about from afar, only few turned out to be even close to as obnoxious or stupid or awful as I thought. In fact, more often than not, I ended up liking them quite a bit. The world works better when we get to know each other.
[ * ]在所有的人(或者类型的人)中，我有着强烈的负面意见或者来自远方的评价，只有很少的人被证明是如我所想的那样令人讨厌、愚蠢或者可怕的。事实上，大多数情况下，我还是挺喜欢他们的。当我们相互了解的时候，这个世界会变得更好。
[*] You know deep down that accomplishing things won’t make you happy, but I think I always fantasized that it would at least feel really good. I was so wrong. Hitting #1 for the first time as an author felt like…nothing. Being a “millionaire”…nothing. It’s a trick of evolution that drives us, and no one is immune from making this mistake. The mistake to really avoid though is the one that comes after the anti-climatic accomplishment, the one where you go: “Ah, it’s that I need to repeat this success, it’s that I didn’t get enough. More will do it.”
[ * ]你知道在内心深处，完成一些事情并不会让你感到快乐，但是我想我一直幻想着那至少会让你感觉真的很好。我大错特错了。作为一个作家第一次拿到第一名感觉就像... ... 什么都没有。成为“百万富翁”... 什么都不是。这是一个进化的把戏，驱使着我们，没有人能免于犯这个错误。真正要避免的错误是在反气候成就之后出现的错误，你会说: “啊，是我需要重复这个成功，是我没有得到足够的东西。更多人会这么做。”
[*] There have been a lot of problems I could have solved earlier if I’d been more willing to seek out experts on the topic. It’s funny, that’s clearly what sports teams and military leaders and politicians were doing when they emailed me after having read one of my books. How much growth have I left on the table, how much pain have I needlessly endured by not picking up the phone myself?
[ * ]如果我更愿意寻求专家，我本可以更早地解决很多问题。有趣的是，这显然是运动队、军队领导人和政客们在读完我的一本书后给我发邮件时所做的事情。我留下了多少成长，我自己不接电话又忍受了多少不必要的痛苦？
[*] Somewhat less related but still related: It’s good to be frugal, but if you don’t spend your money to make your life or your relationships or your work easier, what exactly are you going to spend it on? Actually, what I’ve found is that it is very expensive to be cheap. You just pay for it in the form of a frustrated spouse or a stressful life or with shit that never works and you have to end up replacing a bunch of times anyway. Don’t
[ * ]虽然没什么关系，但还是有关系的：节俭是好的，但是如果你不花钱让你的生活、人际关系或工作更轻松，你到底要把钱花在什么地方呢？实际上，我发现便宜是非常昂贵的。你只是以失意的配偶或者压力重重的生活或者那些根本不起作用的东西的形式来支付这些费用，最终你不得不替换掉很多次。不要咬紧牙关忍受它。你只能做到这一步，精神紧张。消除摩擦，改进系统ーー而金钱(通常不是很多)应该可以帮助你做到这一点。就在几天前，当我伸手去拿一个快干的记号笔时，我想到了这个问题。显然，这是我第五次把它放回书桌的抽屉里，而不是买一个新的(而且我仍然有一部分不愿意把它扔掉)。换掉你那些无聊的工具吧！升级你的工作室！寻找高质量的帮助！你把精力花在了错误的地方。
[*] There’s a great Kurt Vonnegut story about marriage. He realized, fighting one day with his wife, that what they were really both saying was, “You’re not enough people.” You can only expect so much from a person. They can only deliver so much. When I think of relationships that have not worked out, or near breaking points of others, at the root of them was that: Expecting them to be too many people.
[ * ]库尔特 · 冯内古特有一个关于婚姻的伟大故事。有一天，他和妻子吵架，他意识到他们实际上都在说，“你们不是足够完美的人。”你只能对一个人期望这么多。他们只能提供这么多。当我想到那些没有成功的人际关系，或者是那些接近破裂点的人际关系时，它们的根源就是: 期望别人成为太完美的人。
[*] With 34 years of data now, I can confidently say that I have never once lost my temper and afterwards said, “I’m so glad I did that.” A corollary to this: I don’t recall the last time I spent time on social media and felt better after either. A corollary to this corollary: I regret almost every time I have expressed an opinion on social media. I don’t necessarily regret the opinion, I regret the lapse in self-control that culminated with me shouting into the void.
[ * ]现在有了34年的数据，我可以自信地说，我从来没有发过脾气，后来我说，“我很高兴我这样做了。”由此得出的一个结论是: 我不记得上次花时间在社交媒体上之后感觉更好是什么时候了。由此得出的推论是: 我几乎每次在社交媒体上发表意见时都会后悔。我并非后悔某个观点，我后悔的是自我控制的失误，导致最终我对着虚空大喊大叫。
[*] There are many books I regret powering through, far fewer that I regret quitting. Life is too short to put up with bad writing—bad anything really. If the food sucks, don’t finish it. If the speaker is boring, get up and leave. If the party is no fun, go home.
[ * ]有很多书我后悔努力读完，很少有后悔放弃的。生命太短暂，不能容忍糟糕的写作ーー糟糕的任何东西。如果食物很难吃，就不要吃完。如果演讲者很无聊，那就起身离开。如果聚会不好玩，就回家吧。
[*] Needing things to be a certain way has continually prevented me from enjoying them as they are.
[ * ]需要事物成为某种特定的方式，不断地阻碍我享受它们本来的样子。
[*] I’ve been lucky enough to sit across the table, literally, from some incredible people. Astronauts, musicians, athletes, entrepreneurs, politicians. The mistake I’ve made far too many times? Talking more than I listened. You get nervous, you want to impress, so you open your mouth. I tend to
[ * ]我很幸运地坐在桌子对面，真的，面对一些不可思议的人。宇航员，音乐家，运动员，企业家，政治家。我犯了太多次的错误？说的比听的多。你会紧张，你想给人留下深刻印象，所以你会张开嘴。我常常忘记: 两只耳朵，一张嘴是有原因的。三十年后，你会回顾这次偶然的机会，想想你说了什么，或者你让他们说了什么？所以闭嘴！
[*] I’ve done it so many times it’s now embarrassing but this is a pattern: I have an opinion or a frustration or a need that I don’t speak up about. It builds. By the time it finally does come to a head, the situation is past resolving. I’ve lost agents because of this, employees because of this, friends because of this. You have to speak to be heard. You can’t wait. You can’t let resentments pile up. Communication is not conflict. It preempts and prevents conflict. Everytime I
[ * ]我这样做过很多次，现在看起来很尴尬，但这是一种模式：我有自己的观点、挫败感或需求，但我不会大声说出来。它缓慢发生。等到事情最终走到关键时刻，问题已经无法解决了。因为这个我失去了很多探员，员工，朋友。你必须说出来才能被听到。你不能再等了。你不能让怨恨堆积起来。沟通不是冲突。它可以先发制人，防止冲突。每次我忘记这一点，我都付出了代价。
[*] If you keep having to put down your horses, it’s because you’re riding them too hard. Unfortunately, I have lost a lot of otherwise great talent because I put too much on them. Just as athletes have to think about personal load management, coaches and GMs have to think about it for the whole team (and understand that every person has a different
[ * ]如果你总是不得不放弃你的马，那是因为你骑得太用力了。不幸的是，我失去了很多其他方面的天赋，因为我在他们身上投入了太多。正如运动员必须考虑个人负荷管理一样，教练和总经理也必须为整个团队考虑这个问题(并且理解每个人都有不同的阈值)。
[*] Good enough is usually good enough…except when it’s not. When I was in high school, I ran a 5:04 mile in one of my last races senior year. I remember thinking, “Well, that’s pretty good!” No part of me (nor did anyone around me) pressed to see if I could shave those few extra seconds off. I was so close! Why did I settle? Only later did I come to regret it…and of course, every day that passed made it more difficult to ever get back there. In my mid-twenties, I did finally break five minutes but mostly as a reminder to myself: Don’t be satisfied with getting close enough. Go all the way. “Almosts” are the most painful regrets. Especially almosts where you didn’t do your best.
[ * ]足够好通常就是足够好... ... 除非不够好。高中的时候，我在最后一年的一次比赛中跑了5:04英里。我记得我当时想，“嗯，那真是太好了!”没有一部分的我(也没有任何人在我身边)迫切地想看看我是否可以把这些额外的几秒钟缩短。我差点就成功了！我为什么要安定下来？直到后来我才开始后悔... ... 当然，过去的每一天都让我更难再回到那里。在我二十五六岁的时候，我终于打破了五分钟的记录，但大部分时间都是为了提醒自己: 不要满足于靠得足够近。一直走下去。“差不多”是最痛苦的遗憾。尤其是你几乎没有做到最好的时候。
[*] My anxiety has brought about exactly the kind of stress or frustration I was hoping to avoid infinitely more times than it has prevented it from happening. Don’t ride out to meet your ruin...
[ * ]我的焦虑所带来的压力或沮丧，正是我希望避免的那种压力或沮丧，而这种压力或沮丧的发生次数远远多于它所阻止的。不要飞奔着去见证你自己的毁灭。
[*] Epictetus says, “You can’t learn that which you think you already know.” Evaluating my response to the early warning signs of the pandemic, or why I missed taking advantage of certain investing opportunities (see crypto and housing mistakes above, among others), invariably it was my certainty or smugness that blocked me from seeing what a more open, curious person would have seen.
[ * ]爱比克泰德说: “你不能学习你认为你已经知道的东西。”评估我对流行病早期预警信号的反应，或者为什么我错过了某些投资机会(比如上面提到的加密和保存错误等) ，总是由于我的确定性或沾沾自喜，使我无法看到一个更开放、更好奇的人会看到的东西。
[*] Just because someone you don’t respect holds a certain position, doesn’t mean the position is incorrect. And vice versa. One of the toughest things to do in this life is to think for yourself, to come up with your own judgements on issues, stripped of bias or preconceived notions. Almost every time I have looked for a shortcut—whenever I have not done the work—I’ve come to regret my views.
[ * ]仅仅因为一个你不尊重的人拥有某个职位，并不意味着这个职位是不正确的。反之亦然。人生中最艰难的事情之一就是独立思考，对问题做出自己的判断，抛开偏见或先入为主的观念。几乎每次我寻找捷径的时候ーー每次我没有完成工作的时候ーー我就开始后悔我的观点。
[*] I grew up in a mostly conservative household, one that internalized a lot of that Reagan-esque suspicion of governing. But of course, this suspicion—especially when widely held—contributes to poor governance. Government is not a thing, at least in America. We are the government, just as much as we are traffic, we are culture, we are media. A line I heard that changed my worldview: “Government is simply the name we give to the things we choose to do together.” I wasted a lot of time seeing politics as something you consume, when of course politics—going back to Aristotle—is always something we do.
[ * ]我成长在一个基本上保守的家庭，这个家庭吸收了很多里根式的治理怀疑。但当然，这种怀疑(尤其是在人们普遍持有这种怀疑的情况下)造成了治理不善。政府不是一个东西，至少在美国是这样。我们是政府，就像我们是流量，我们是文化，我们是媒体。我听到的一句话改变了我的世界观: “政府只是我们选择一起做的事情的名称。”我浪费了很多时间，把政治看成是你消费的东西，而当然，政治——回到亚里士多德时代——应该是我们做的事情。
[*] Related, if success is not making your life easier—or at least, providing you more autonomy—what good is it? This was learned the hard way in our house. You’re not a beast of burden. Don’t treat yourself like one!
[ * ]相关的，如果成功不能让你的生活变得更轻松，或者至少不能给你更多的自主权，那么它有什么好处呢？这是在我们家里吃了苦头才学到的。你不是个负重的牲畜。不要把自己变成牲畜！
[*] This line from Springsteen captures, in retrospect, almost every argument or grudge I’ve held onto.
[ * ]回想起来，这句来自 Springsteen 的话几乎抓住了我所有的争论和怨恨。
We fought hard over nothin’
我们为了什么都不争取
We fought till nothin’ remained
我们战斗到一无所有
I’ve carried that nothin’ for a long time
我已经忍了很长时间了
[*] This idea of “Fuck Yes…or No” is far too simple and has caused me quite a lot of grief. Dropping out of college, I was maybe 51/49 on it. Leaving my corporate job to become a writer, maybe 60/40. Right now I’m about to do something big that I am both excited and terrified about. The point is: The certainty comes later. The truly life-changing decisions are never simple. If I had only ever done things I was absolutely certain about, I’d have missed out on experiences I love. Conversely, I regret a good chunk of my “Fuck yes’s” because I was caught up in a fit of passion or bias. The whole point of risk is that you don’t know.
[ * ]“他妈的是...或不是”这种想法过于简单，给我带来了很多不幸。大学辍学的时候，我这么做的几率大概是51/49。离开我的公司工作去做一个作家，也许60/40。现在我要做一件让我既兴奋又害怕的大事。重点是：确定性来得晚。真正改变人生的决定从来都不简单。如果我只做我绝对确定的事情，我就会错过我喜欢的经历。相反，我后悔自己说了很多“操，是的”，因为我陷入了某种激情或偏见。风险的全部关键在于你不知道。
**
So here I am at 34 with many more mistakes than these to my name. But the key to progress, I have found, is relatively simple. It’s not to avoid error…but to avoid making the same error more than once. Or, more realistically, fewer times than you might ordinarily be inclined to.
所以现在我34岁了，犯的错误比这些还要多。但我发现，进步的关键是相对简单的。这不是为了避免错误... 而是为了避免重复犯同样的错误。或者，更实际地说，比你通常倾向于使用的时间更少。
Because the only way to compound an error, to add to the suffering caused by its con
因为加重错误的唯一方法，就是拒绝看到它们，这会增加错误的后果所带来的痛苦。拒绝听取他们的教训。
And so, if I am lucky enough to make it another year, I hope to write to you again in 2022, a tad wiser and as always, grateful for the time and experiences I’ve been lucky enough to have. Even the not so glamorous ones.
所以，如果我有幸再活一年，我希望在2022年再给你写信，一如既往地更明智，对我有幸拥有的时间和经历心存感激。即使是那些不那么迷人的。
P.S. Seneca said a lot of people don’t have any proof for their age but a number of years. To avoid that mistake, I carry a coin that says “Memento Mori,” which is Latin for ”remember you will die.” On the back, it has one of my favorite quotes from Marcus Aurelius: “You could leave life right now.” That is how I try to go through life—not taking time for granted, not leaving anything undone, not wasting time on making the same mistake twice, not ever thinking tomorrow is a given. If you want to create more priority and appreciation in your life, get a Memento Mori coin and carry it in your pocket everywhere you go.
塞内加说，很多人没有任何年龄的证据，只有年龄的证据。为了避免这个错误，我带了一枚硬币，上面写着“死亡警告”，这是拉丁语“记住你会死”的意思，背面是我最喜欢的马库斯 · 奥勒留的名言之一: “你现在就可以离开生活。”我就是这样度过一生的ーー不把时间当作理所当然，不留下任何未完成的事情，不把时间浪费在重复犯同样的错误上，不去想明天会是什么样子。如果你想在你的生活中创造更多的优先权和欣赏权，那就拿一枚死亡警告硬币，无论你走到哪里，都把它放在口袋里。
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