Coaching or Therapy?
Photo by Dustin Belt on Unsplash
Some years ago, I spent quite a bit of time with a mindfulness-based counselor who was working from the Beijing Mindfulness Centre about what was the difference between the two professions.
I said: We ask questions - She said: So do we
I said: We focus on the future - She said: So do we
I said: We bring focus action into our sessions - She said: So do we
I said: We challenge our clients and give them homework - She said: So do we
The difference between therapy and coaching becomes even more blurry as we step into the areas of mindfulness, compassion, wellness (body image, addictions, stress, low self-esteem, etc.).
The reality is that more and more psychotherapists are becoming trained in coaching and as that becomes the new standard I am curious how will the coaching profession evolve. One coach I hired worked as a psychotherapist, EMDR practitioner, Buddhist chaplain, and a coach.
When this happens contracting and agreements are essential. If that role changes, then we are obliged to re-contract so that the coaching relationship where partnership is the pillar of interaction remains respected and honored.
The ICF defines coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.
At the early stages of the coaching profession, the overlaps between therapy and coaching may have looked like this:
These days, especially with topics COVID brings to the table, the overlap between the two is more like this:
In their research Coaching With Compassion: Inspiring Health, Well- Being, and Development in Organizations (Boyatzis, Smith and Beveridge), authors state:
"The hallmark of coaching with compassion is the focus on invoking the Ideal Self to initiate and guide the change process. The Ideal Self is the individual's vision of who he or she wants to be and includes his or her goals, values, and deepest aspirations for the individual's future" Boyatzis, 2008; Boyatzis & Akrivou, 2006; Higgins, 1987
We already know that there are hospitals where doctors engage with patients as coaches. What it means is that instead of asking " where are you aching now?", doctors engage in patient inquiry with powerful coaching questions:
What is your vision of a healthy lifestyle? What are the obstacles to achieving it? What is your support network like? What is the smallest step you can take to get there?
The key technique utilized by coaches is motivational interviewing, in which a coach asks open-ended questions intended to help their client elicit his or her reasons for the change.
Instead of the doctor saying, "You need to lose weight," a coach might ask, "How might your life be different if you lost the weight that you've been trying to lose?" (Source "Health coaching is effective. Should you try it?" Harvard Health Publishing")
Other practical ways you may want to consider when looking into coaching or therapy are:
What are the costs?
Will health insurance cover it?
What is the level of trust (is a therapist or a coach recommended by a person you trust?)
What is your gut feeling telling you?
Have you had any experience of working with a therapist or a coach?
Are you taking medication? (in that case, consider contacting a therapist first)
A lot of times a therapist may recommend a coach and vice versa. As coaches, we are trained to gauge what topics are stretching our limits, and we are bound by ethics to share with our clients when we are stepping into the area beyond our capacity.
Typically, coaching would start with identifying the Ideal Self and actions that take us there while therapy would start by stating a problem and looking at behaviors that we want to change. The difference may seem subtle but even if we start a journey in directions that are distanced by only one degree we may end up in a place that is on the opposite end of the universe.
Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash
Trivia: Did you know that stepping off your course for only one degree at the beginning of your journey
After 100 yards, you'll be off by 5.2 feet. Not huge, but noticeable.
After a mile, you'll be off by 92.2 feet. One degree is starting to make a difference.
After traveling from San Francisco to L.A., you'll be off by 6 miles.
If you were trying to get from San Francisco to Washington, D.C., you'd end up on the other side of Baltimore, 42.6 miles away.
Traveling around the globe from Washington, DC, you'd miss by 435 miles and end up in Boston.
In a rocket going to the moon, you'd be 4,169 miles off (nearly twice the diameter of the moon).
Going to the sun, you'd miss by over 1.6 million miles (nearly twice the diameter of the sun).
Traveling to the nearest star, you'd be off course by over 441 billion miles (120 times the distance from the earth to Pluto, or 4,745 times the distance from Earth to the sun).
(Source: https://whitehatcrew.com/blog/a-mere-one-degree-difference/)
At BMC our coaches are trained in mindfulness, mindful self-compassion, non-violent communication, and coach according to the International Coaching Federation code of ethics and competencies. Schedule a chemistry session and meet us in person or online.
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