桑德伯格在加州伯克利分校毕业演讲【下】
2016年5月15日，Facebook首席运营官桑德伯格（Sheryl Sandberg）在加州伯克利分校毕业典礼上发表致辞演讲。
中英文原文来源，见本文底部链接，原文与录音略有不同。
本文文本对应视频13：30起。
https://v.qq.com/txp/iframe/player.html?vid=f0300j2q69m&width=500&height=375&auto=0
The third P is permanence — the belief that the sorrow will last forever. For months, no matter what I did, it felt like the crushing[非常严重的] grief would always be there.
第三个P是永久性——相信悲伤将永远持续下去。几个月来，无论我做什么，我都感觉令人窒息的悲伤将永远存在。
We often project our current feelings out indefinitely — and experience what I think of as the second derivative[衍生/派生] of those feelings. We feel anxious — and then we feel anxious that we're anxious. We feel sad — and then we feel sad that we're sad. Instead, we should accept our feelings — but recognize that they will not last forever. My rabbi told me that time would heal but for now I should "lean in to the suck." It was good advice, but not really what I meant by "lean in[向前一步]."
我们往往觉得自己此刻的情感是会永存的，并且将这些情感在其他地方延伸。我们感到焦虑，然后我们为自己的焦虑而焦虑。我们感到悲伤，然后我们为自己的悲伤而悲伤。实际上，我们应该接受我们的情感，但我们也要认清，它们不会永远持续下去。我的拉比告诉我，时间会治愈我，但现在我需要向前一步。这是个好建议，但不只是嘴上说说的“向前一步”。
[注释]rabbi：拉比 (犹太宗教领袖，尤指有资格传授犹太教义，或精于犹太法典之犹太教堂主管)（犹太人的学者）；法师；犹太教律法专家；先生
None of you need me to explain the fourth P … which is, of course, pizza from Cheese Board.
第四P就不需要我来解释了……当然是奶酪板上的“披萨（Pizza ）”。
But I wish I had known about the three P's when I was your age. There were so many times these lessons would have helped.
不过，我希望我在你们这个年龄就已经知道三个P。许多时候，这些经验会帮助你。
Day one of my first job out of college, my boss found out that I didn't know how to enter data into Lotus 1-2-3[软件名]. That's a spreadsheet — ask your parents. His mouth dropped open and he said, 'I can't believe you got this job without knowing that" — and then walked out of the room. I went home convinced that I was going to be fired. I thought I was terrible at everything … but it turns out I was only terrible at spreadsheets. Understanding pervasiveness would have saved me a lot of anxiety that week.
当我从事大学毕业后的第一份工作时，我的老板发现我不会在Lotus 1-2-3中输入数据。这是一个电子表格——去问你的父母。他张大着嘴说：“我不相信，你连这个都不知道，却能找到这份工作。” 然后他走出了房间。我回到家之后觉得我一定会被解雇。我认为我什么都做不好......但事实证明，我只是做不好电子表格。了解普遍性陷阱的话我那一周可能不会那么焦虑。
I wish I had known about permanence when I broke up with boyfriends. It would've been a comfort to know that feeling was not going to last forever, and if I was being honest with myself … neither were any of those relationships.
当我的男朋友和我分手时，我希望我已经理解了永久性的陷阱。如果我知道了那种感觉是不会永远持续下去的，我会觉得好受一点，如果我对自己诚实的话，我会懂得任何关系都不会永久，那样我就会得到安慰。
And I wish I had understood personalization when boyfriends broke up with me. Sometimes it's not you — it really is them. I mean, that dude[男人;小伙子] never showered.
当我的男朋友和我分手时，我也希望已经理解了个人化的陷阱。有时，不是你的过错，真的是他们。我的意思是，这家伙从来不洗澡。
And all three P's ganged up on[联合对付;联合反对] me in my 20s after my first marriage ended in divorce. I thought at the time that no matter what I accomplished, I was a massive failure.
我20多岁时，我的第一次婚姻以离婚告终，所有这三个P联合起来对付我。我当时觉得无论我已经获得了多少成就，我都是一个巨大的失败。
The three P's are common emotional reactions to so many things that happen to us — in our careers, our personal lives, and our relationships. You're probably feeling one of them right now about something in your life. But if you can recognize you are falling into these traps, you can catch yourself. Just as our bodies have a physiological immune system[身体免疫系统], our brains have a psychological immune system — and there are steps you can take to help kick it into gear[开始运作;适应;gets going or started].
这三个P是我们面对许多事情产生的常见情感反应，在事业上，在个人生活上，在人际关系上都是如此。你可能会觉得你现在就面对着它们中的一个。但是，如果你能认清你落入了陷阱，你就能自救。正如我们的身体有一个生理免疫系统，我们的大脑也有一个精神免疫系统，有一些步骤可以帮助你启动这个精神免疫系统。
One day, my friend, Adam Grant, a psychologist, suggested that I think about how much worse things could be. This was completely counterintuitive[反直觉的；与预期相反的]; it seemed like the way to recover was to try to find positive thoughts. "Worse?" I said. "Are you kidding me? How could things be worse?" His answer cut straight through me: "Dave could have had that same cardiac arrhythmia[心律失常;心律不整;心律紊乱] while he was driving your children." Wow. The moment he said it, I was overwhelmingly[压倒性地;不可抵抗地] grateful that the rest of my family was alive and healthy. That gratitude overtook some of the grief.
有一天，我的心理学家朋友亚当·格兰特建议我想象事情原本可以更糟糕。这是完全反直觉的。“更糟糕？”我说。“你在跟我开玩笑吗？事情怎么可能会更糟。”我说。他回答道：“戴夫也可能在开车带着孩子出去时突发心脏病。”那一刻，我很强烈地感激我家里的其他人还活着，并且身体健康。这种感激之情超越了一些痛苦。
Finding gratitude and appreciation is key to resilience[恢复力;弹力;顺应力]. People who take the time to list things they are grateful for are happier and healthier. It turns out that counting your blessings can actually increase your blessings. My New Year's resolution this year is to write down three moments of joy before I go to bed each night. This simple practice has changed my life.
发现感激和感谢是恢复的关键。花时间列出应该感恩的事情的人更快乐更健康。事实证明，列举你的福气可以增加你的福气。我今年的的新年计划是每晚睡觉前写下三个喜悦时刻。这个简单的练习改变了我的生活。
Because no matter what happens each day, I go to sleep thinking of something cheerful. Try it. Start tonight when you have so many fun moments to list — although maybe before you go to kips[睡觉] and don't remember what they are.
因为不管每天发生了什么，我睡觉时都想着快乐的事情。尝试一下。从今晚开始，今天你有很多快乐的时刻可以写下来。
Last month, 11 days before the anniversary of Dave's death, I broke down crying to a friend of mine. We were sitting — of all places — on a bathroom floor. I said: "Eleven days. One year ago, he had 11 days left. And we had no idea." We looked at each other through tears, and asked how we would live if we knew we had 11 days left.
上个月，戴维逝世周年前十一天，我在一个朋友面前痛哭。我们坐在浴室地板上。我说：“十一天。一年前，他的生命只剩下十一天了，而我们却不知道。”我问道，如果我们知道我们只有11天的时间了，我们将如何生活。
As you graduate, can you ask yourselves to live as if you had 11 days left? I don't mean blow everything off and party all the time — although tonight is an exception. I mean live with the understanding of how precious every single day would be. How precious every day actually is.
在你们毕业之际，你能够让你自己就像生命只剩下十一天那样去活吗？我的意思不是让你们抛开所有工作，每天都去开party。我的意思是我们应该明白每一天都是多么珍贵。
[注释]blow off：to treat something or someone as if they are not important 不认真对待
If you blow something off, you ignore it or choose not to deal with it. 不理会
A few years ago, my mom had to have her hip[臀部] replaced. When she was younger, she always walked without pain. But as her hip disintegrated[瓦解;碎裂], each step became painful. Now, even years after her operation, she is grateful for every step she takes without pain — something that never would have occurred to her before.
几年前，我妈妈必须切掉她的臀部。当她年轻的时候，走路从来没有疼痛。但是在臀部被切除之后，每一步都变得痛苦。现在，即使手术过去几年了，她依然感恩曾经没有疼痛的每一步——之前她从来不会这么做。
As I stand here today, a year after the worst day of my life, two things are true. I have a huge reservoir[水库;蓄水池] of sadness that is with me always — right here where I can touch it. I never knew I could cry so often — or so much.
在我生命中最糟糕的事情发生一年之后，我今天站在这里。有两件事情是真实的。我心里有一个巨大的悲伤之海，它始终在那里，我可以触摸到它。我从来不知道我可以哭得那么频繁，流下那么多泪水。
But I am also aware that I am walking without pain. For the first time, I am grateful for each breath in and out — grateful for the gift of life itself. I used to celebrate my birthday every five years and friends' birthdays sometimes. Now I celebrate always. I used to go to sleep worrying about all the things I messed up that day — and trust me that list was often quite long. Now I try really hard to focus on each day's moments of joy.
但我也知道我走路的时候没有疼痛。这是第一次，我感谢每一次呼吸，感激生命本身。我过去常常是每五年庆祝一次我的生日，偶尔庆祝朋友的生日。现在我一直都会庆祝。我过去常常在睡觉前为当天搞砸的事情担心——相信我，那个列表非常长。现在，我努力去关注每一天快乐的时刻。
It is the greatest irony[讽刺] of my life that losing my husband helped me find deeper gratitude — gratitude for the kindness of my friends, the love of my family, and the laughter of my children. My hope for you is that you can find that gratitude — not just on the good days, like today, but on the hard ones, when you will really need it.
我失去了丈夫使我发现了更深刻的感激之情——感谢我的朋友们的好意、家人的爱、孩子们的欢声笑语，这是我生命中最大的讽刺。我对你们的希望是你们可以找到这样的感激，不仅是在想今天这样的好日子里，更是在艰难的日子里，你更需要这样的感激。
There are so many moments of joy ahead of you. That trip you always wanted to take. A first kiss with someone you really like. The day you get a job doing something you truly believe in. Beating Stanford. (Go Bears!
49 31725 49 15535 0 0 2575 0 0:00:12 0:00:06 0:00:06 3030span>) All of these things will happen to you. Enjoy each and every one.
在你们的前面有许多快乐的时刻。你一直想去的旅行。与你真正喜欢的人的第一个吻。找到一份符合你的信仰的工作。击败斯坦福。所有这些事情会发生在你们身上。尽情享受它们。
[注释]Go Bears！伯克利的口号。
I hope that you live your life — each precious day of it — with joy and meaning. I hope that you walk without pain — and that you are grateful for each step.
我希望你们生命中珍贵的每一天都充满快乐和富有意义。我希望你们的每一步都没有痛苦——并且感激每一步。
And when the challenges come, I hope you remember that anchored[固定;抛锚;主持] deep within you is the ability to learn and grow. You are not born with a fixed amount of resilience. Like a muscle, you can build it up, draw on it when you need it. In that process you will figure out who you really are — and you just might become the very best version of yourself.
而当挑战来临的时候，我希望你们记住，在你们内心深处保驾护航的是你学习和成长的能力。你们并非天生具有从灾难中恢复的能力。像肌肉一样，你可以锻炼它们，当你们需要时就可以用到它们。在这个过程中，你会弄清楚你到底是谁，而且明白你可以成为最好的自己。
Class of 2016, as you leave Berkeley, build resilience.
2016届的毕业生们，在你离开伯克利时，建立起你们的恢复能力。
Build resilience in yourselves. When tragedy or disappointment strikes, know that you have the ability to get through absolutely anything. I promise you do. As the saying goes, we are more vulnerable than we ever thought, but we are stronger than we ever imagined.
在你们的内部建立起恢复能力。当悲剧或挫折发生时，懂得你有能力超越它们。相信我，你们有这个能力。常言道，我们比我们想象的更脆弱，但我们也比我们想象的更强大。
Build resilient organizations. If anyone can do it, you can, because Berkeley is filled with people who want to make the world a better place. Never stop working to do so — whether it's a boardroom[会议室] that is not representative or a campus that's not safe. Speak up, especially at institutions like this one, which you hold so dear. My favorite poster at work reads, "Nothing at Facebook is someone else's problem." When you see something that's broken, go fix it.
建立恢复机制。如果任何人可以做到这一点，你也可以，因为伯克利充满了想让世界变得更美好的人。永远不要停止这样做——不论是一个非代议制的会议室还是不安全的校园。大声说出来，尤其是在这样一个你们如此亲切的校园里。就像我最喜欢的广告语，“在Facebook，没有什么是别人的事。“当你看到什么东西出错了，去修正它。
Build resilient communities. We find our humanity — our will to live and our ability to love — in our connections to one another. Be there for your family and friends. And I mean in person. Not just in a message with a heart emoji.
建立恢复社区。在我们的彼此联系中，我们找到了我们的人性——生存的愿望和爱的能力。守护你们的家人和朋友。给一点个人建议，不要只发一个心形颜文字信息。
Lift each other up, help each other kick the shit out of option B — and celebrate each and every moment of joy.
互相扶持，互相帮助来应对那些该死的选项B——庆祝每一个快乐的时刻。
You have the whole world in front of you. I can't wait to see what you do with it.
整个世界展现在都展现在你们面前。我迫不及待地想看到你们将做些什么！
Congratulations, and Go Bears!
恭喜大家毕业，继续加油吧！
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中文参考：http://t.cn/RqDuPPv 和 http://t.cn/RqDDwJv
英文原文：http://t.cn/RqDezsw
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