The 8 Types of People You'll Meet on the Shanghai Metro
The Shanghai Metro is one of the largest and most advanced public transit systems in the world and millions of people use it each day. However, it doesn’t matter where you live or what line you take - if you ride the subway enough, you’re bound to see the following types of people.
The lights are blinking and the alarm is blaring. Blind and deaf to the warning signs, The Risk Taker swoops into the train as the doors slide shut, because waiting those 3 minutes for the next train is a more unbearable pain than being sliced in half.
Some Risk Takers are also known as Ditchers because while they jump through the narrow opening, the rest of their friends and family are stranded on the subway platform – a tragic separation or a deliberate escape?
They’re there when you get off, they’re there when you get on, and they’re probably there blocking your way up the left side of the escalator. Door Blockers don’t give a shit when it comes to the golden rule of xian xia hou shang.
We all know that metro passengers are infamous for their lowered heads and lit-up screens. Of those include The Candy Crush Master, who has had years of commuting to hone in on his swiping skills and The Soap Opera Lover, who whips out her iPad the moment she steps into the station. Despite ridicule from the elderly, there’s no denying that digital devices provide great entertainment on the train. They’re also there as a prop for ignoring subway panhandlers without feeling too bad.
On every subway train is The Pole Dancer – the metropolitan version of a tree hugger minus the compassion for living things. There’s no way around holding on to the pole without touching TPD’s sweaty body and at that point it’s better to just risk losing balance.
On the streets, people ask you, albeit aggressively, to take their handouts. However, on the subway, people aren’t so courteous. Flyer Flingers come in the form of prepubescent boys who race down from one end of the train to the other throwing flyers at every seated passenger. Once you get passed the forced commercialism, it’s quite efficient, really.
A seat on the subway is a luxury during rush hours and on the more busy lines. Many passengers are so hell-bent on sitting that they force themselves on a bench that clearly cannot comfortably accommodate them. When all else fails, some resort to squatting. Although the “Asian squat” has become somewhat of an Internet phenomenon, it certainly does not escape the Shanghai metro.
The splinter faction of the Seat Squeezer, The Seat Snatcher who will not settle for standing, squatting or squeezing. Once they eye an empty seat, they will pounce and elbow other contenders out of the way. They commonly come in the form of young grandmas or guang chang da ma – the all-time champions of Metro Musical Chairs.
If cows go “Moo” and sheep go “Baa,” then callers on the subway go “WEI? WEI? WEI?” As they disregard sideways glares, their voices reach a deadly number of decibels for the sake of a single phone conversation.
There’s no doubt we’ve all seen a Chinese person with an extremely long pinky nail, designed to pick at anywhere that needs some on-the-go cleaning. The Gold Digger scrapes his nose, ears and scalp with such dexterity that you can’t help but stare. Then again, the Gold Digger is Mary Poppins compared to this lady.
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