Things a Beijing Teen Wishes She Knew When She was 12

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Hello! My name is Anne and I am a high school student. In two years, I will be graduating high school, and I try to avoid thinking about it because it makes me feel anxious. When you are young, two years seems like a lifetime away, but I know how fast time passes in high school.

Being in grade 10 makes me feel like I am sitting on a ticking clock waiting for the two-year expiry date of my childhood.

Worrying about the future will not stop it from arriving.

Actively being in the present is more useful to minimize the catastrophe I know will eventually l happen at 18. Regrets are not dwelled on, even if there are some things I wish to change. Through anguish, sadness, and confusion, I have learned hard lessons and solved my personal problems. I grew up. But I wish I knew these things when I was 12, so  I could have avoided many tears…

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The first piece of advice I want to share is to surround yourself with people that value you and encourage you to be a better person. Don’t try to make people like you. The right friends will come to you.  A real friend is a rare and precious gem to cherish.

Try to include people that respect and care for you but also challenge you to be a better person.

A real friend will stay with you through thick and thin while consistently having your back. In Beijing, I have met some incredible people that I can call my friends. Obviously, we argue and fight but it doesn’t really matter because at the end of the day, they are still my friends and we forgive each other.

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The second piece of advice is to be honest with yourself. Know your boundaries and abstain from wasting time on things that will not help you. Focus on your priorities and don’t try to put too much on your plate. You are still young, and you shouldn’t have to shoulder too much responsibility. 

Be honest with yourself about how much you can do.

Those are the steps you need to get your priorities straight. Also, even if you are busy with homework or chores, I really encourage you to set aside all responsibilities and give yourself an hour a week to just do what you want to do. It could be journaling, exercising, or learning a new language - anything that fills your bucket!

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My third piece of advice is to take care of yourself. You are the most important person in your own life. Make your own rules. Middle school is the time when people start being self-conscious of themselves, you can use this to your advantage. Find your personal style and prioritize your personal hygiene. Learn how to do your laundry and cook some basic foods.

Start being more independent.

These essential life skills will help you in the long run. If you don’t know how to get started, there is a lot of information online! If you are interested in learning how to cook, using online search engines is so helpful! You can find so many delicious recipes and I personally think they are way more convenient than traditional cookbooks. 

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My last piece of advice would be to not aim for perfection but to strive for consistency. Especially if you are trying to master a skill or a habit. You will face days when the motivation isn’t there, there will be sad days, exhausting days, and depressing days. Do you think you will perform perfectly on those days? Hmm…probably not. A job doesn’t have to be perfect or satisfying to be completed.

You will need willpower to grind through even when your entire being is screaming at you to give up and try again tomorrow.

It would be so much easier to rest. The line between actual repose and slacking off is easily confused so make sure you know it.

Learning about yourself can be a journey - a long, uncertain path where the only person that is eventually affected by the outcome is yourself. I went through that phase, so I can assure you the advice I am giving you is legit. Don’t be shy to go out on your own and do crazy things. Be free, independent, and have confidence in yourself! Living day to day without regrets will assure you have more fulfilling memories.

Images: Anne Emond

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