TED学院 | 牛津女学生在TED上谈性侵之殇：人渣太多，我告诉你如何保护自己

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Ione Wells: How we talk about sexual assault online

It was April, last year. I was on an evening out with friends to celebrate one of their birthdays. We hadn't been all together for a couple of weeks; it was a perfect evening, as we were all reunited.

去年四月的一天晚上， 我和朋友们出去聚会， 庆祝其中一个朋友的生日。 我们有好几个礼拜没聚过了， 重聚让那个晚上很完美。

At the end of the evening, I caught the last underground train back to the other side of London. The journey was smooth. I got back to my local station and I began the 10-minute walk home. As I turned the corner onto my street, my house in sight up ahead, I heard footsteps behind me that seemed to have approached out of nowhere and were picking up pace. Before I had time to process what was happening, a hand was clapped around my mouth so that I could not breathe, and the young man behind me dragged me to the ground, beat my head repeatedly against the pavement until my face began to bleed, kicking me in the back and neck while he began to assault me, ripping off my clothes and telling me to "shut up," as I struggled to cry for help. With each smack of my head to the concrete ground, a question echoed through my mind that still haunts me today: "Is this going to be how it all ends?"

接近尾声的时候， 我搭上最后一趟地铁， 赶回了伦敦的另一头。 一路上都挺顺利的。 到站下车后 还需要走十分钟才能到家。 转过这条街角， 就可以看到我家， 我听见身后有脚步声， 不知道从哪突然冒出来的， 脚步声越来越急促。 还没等我反应过来是怎么回事， 一只手捂住了我的嘴， 使我无法呼吸， 身后的年轻人把我拽倒在地， 不停的将我的头部砸向地面 直到我的脸开始流血， 用脚踢我的背部和颈部， 他开始对我性侵， 撕裂我的衣服并让我闭嘴， 当时我挣扎着想要呼救。 每次当我的头部被撞向地面时， 我都在想一个至今仍然 笼罩着我的问题： “我将如此死去吗？”

Little could I have realized, I'd been followed the whole way from the moment I left the station. And hours later, I was standing topless and barelegged in front of the police, having the cuts and bruises on my naked body photographed for forensic evidence.Now, there are few words to describe the all-consuming feelings of vulnerability, shame, upset and injustice that I was ridden with in that moment and for the weeks to come. But wanting to find a way to condense these feelings into something ordered that I could work through, I decided to do what felt most natural to me: I wrote about it.

我毫无察觉，那人竟从我下车之后 一直跟踪我。 过了几个小时， 我赤身裸体的来到警察局， 我身上的割伤和淤青被拍照， 当做法医证据。几乎没有语言能够 描述出当时我绝望的感受， 脆弱、羞耻、苦恼和不公正， 之后的几周也是如此。 但我想找到一种方法， 能把这些感觉集中转化为 我能理解并克服的东西， 于是，我决定用我最熟悉的事物， —— 写作

It started out as a cathartic exercise. I wrote a letter to my assaulter, humanizing him as "you," to identify him as part of the very community that he had so violently abused that night.

开始我把它当成是种宣泄， 我给施暴者写了封信， 在信里我称他为“你”， 把他看作团体的一部分， 那个被他暴力虐待的团体。

Stressing the tidal-wave effect of his actions, I wrote: "Did you ever think of the people in your life? I don't know who the people in your life are. I don't know anything about you. But I do know this: you did not just attack me that night. I'm a daughter, I'm a friend, I'm a sister, I'm a pupil, I'm a cousin, I'm a niece, I'm a neighbor; I'm the employee who served everyone coffee in the café under the railway. And all the people who form these relations to me make up my community. And you assaulted every single one of them. You violated the truth that I will never cease to fight for, and which all of these people represent: that there are infinitely more good people in the world than bad."

为了强调他的行为所带来的连锁反应， 我写到： “你考虑过你身边的人吗？ 我不清楚那些人到底是谁， 我对你毫无了解， 但有一点我知道： 那天晚上你不仅仅只是袭击了我 我是一名女儿，是朋友， 是姐姐，学生， 表姐，侄女， 是邻居； 我是在地铁站的咖啡馆里 为每个人端上咖啡的服务生， 所有和我有所关联的人 形成了我所在的团体。 你袭击了这个团体里的每一个人， 你破坏了我誓死保卫的真理， 所有人所代表的真理： “世界上的好人比坏人多很多。”

But, determined not to let this one incident make me lose faith in the solidarity in my community or humanity as a whole, I recalled the 7/7 terrorist bombings in July 2005 on London transport, and how the mayor of London at the time, and indeed my own parents, had insisted that we all get back on the tubes the next day, so we wouldn't be defined or changed by those that had made us feel unsafe.

但是， 我决定不让这次意外使我失去 对我的团体或是人类的信念， 我想起2005年7月7号 的伦敦恐袭爆炸案， 那时的伦敦市长，甚至我的父母， 都坚持我们第二天仍然乘坐地铁， 我们不会被那些恐怖分子所威慑， 而做出改变。

I told my attacker, "You've carried out your attack, but now I'm getting back on my tube. My community will not feel we are unsafe walking home after dark. We will get on the last tubes home, and we will walk up our streets alone, because we will not ingrain or submit to the idea that we are putting ourselves in danger in doing so. We will continue to come together, like an army, when any member of our community is threatened. And this is a fight you will not win."

我对施暴者说： “你对我进行了袭击， 但是现在，我会继续我的生活。 我所在的团体 不会觉得走夜路回家不安全, 我们搭乘最后一班地铁回家， 独自一人走在街道上， 因为我们不会把一种想法深植脑中， 那就是这不安全。 当团体内的成员受到威胁的时候， 我们将像一支军队一样，团结一致， 而且，这场仗你不会赢。”

At the time of writing this letter --Thank you.At the time of writing this letter, I was studying for my exams in Oxford, and I was working on the local student paper there. Despite being lucky enough to have friends and family supporting me, it was an isolating time. I didn't know anyone who'd been through this before; at least I didn't think I did. I'd read news reports, statistics, and knew how common sexual assault was, yet I couldn't actually name a single person that I'd heard speak out about an experience of this kind before.

在写这封信的时候---谢谢。在写这封信的时候， 我正在剑桥大学备考， 并在当地的学生报社工作， 尽管我非常幸运 有亲朋好友的支持， 那段时间我都是独处。 我不认识有类似的经历的人； 至少我觉得我不认识。 我看过新闻报道和统计数据， 我知道性侵有多么常见， 但我却指不出一个 谈论过类似经历的人。

So in a somewhat spontaneous decision, I decided that I would publish my letter in the student paper, hoping to reach out to others in Oxford that might have had a similar experience and be feeling the same way. At the end of the letter, I asked others to write in with their experiences under the hashtag, "#NotGuilty," to emphasize that survivors of assault could express themselves without feeling shame or guilt about what happened to them -- to show that we could all stand up to sexual assault.

于是，出于自发性的， 我决定要把我的信发表到学生报纸上， 寄希望于在牛津找到有 相似经历和相同感受的人。 信末尾处， 我呼吁其他人也写下她们的经历， 并用 “#不羞愧” 当做话题标签， 用来强调那些遭受性侵的幸存者能够 不感到羞耻和愧疚地 表达她们的看法， 用来证明我们能站起来直面性侵。

What I never anticipated is that almost overnight, this published letter would go viral. Soon, we were receiving hundreds of stories from men and women across the world, which we began to publish on a website I set up. And the hashtag became a campaign.

让我意想不到的是，仅仅过了一晚， 这篇发表信像病毒般扩散。 不久，我就收到数百个故事， 分别来自世界各地的男士女士， 我开始将这些故事发表在 自己建立的网站上， 而这个话题标签开始成为一项运动。

There was an Australian mother in her 40s who described how on an evening out, she was followed to the bathroom by a man who went to repeatedly grab her crotch. There was a man in the Netherlands who described how he was date-raped on a visit to London and wasn't taken seriously by anyone he reported his case to. I had personal Facebook messages from people in India and South America, saying, how can we bring the message of the campaign there? One of the first contributions we had was from a woman called Nikki, who described growing up, being molested my her own father. And I had friends open up to me about experiences ranging from those that happened last week to those that happened years ago, that I'd had no idea about.

有一位澳大利亚的40多岁的母亲， 向我描述她是如何在一天晚上， 被人跟踪到了洗手间， 后来那人不断对抓住她的胯部 还有一个来自荷兰的男士， 讲述他如何在伦敦与人 约会时被对方强暴， 而当他报警时， 没有一个人把他的话当真。 来自印度和南美的人 在Facebook上私信我， 询问如何将这场运动带 到那里？ 首位贡献者是一位叫Nikki的女士， 她讲述在青少年期 被自己的生父骚扰。 我的一些朋友也向我敞开心扉， 诉说她们的故事， 从发生在几周前， 到几年前的事情， 而我却对此一无所知。

And the more we started to receive these messages, the more we also started to receive messages of hope -- people feeling empowered by this community of voices standing up to sexual assault and victim-blaming. One woman called Olivia, after describing how she was attacked by someone she had trusted and cared about for a long time, said, "I've read many of the stories posted here, and I feel hopeful that if so many women can move forward, then I can, too. I've been inspired by many, and I hope I can be as strong as them someday. I'm sure I will."

随着收到越来越多这样的故事， 我们也收到愈来愈多的希望， 人们因为集体抵抗性侵和 保护受害者的声音， 而感觉到有能力。 一位名叫Olivia的女士， 她讲述了自己是如何 被自己信赖并关心多年的人所侵犯， 她说：“我在这里看到很多人的故事， 如果有这么多人都能向前看， 那我也能。 许多人的故事都激励着我， 我希望有一天能我也和她们一样强大。 我坚信我会的。”

People around the world began tweeting under this hashtag, and the letter was republished and covered by the national press, as well as being translated into several other languages worldwide.

世界各地的人开始发推特， 参与这个话题标签， 我那封信也发表了， 全国的新闻界也有所报道 它被翻译成多种语言。

But something struck me about the media attention that this letter was attracting. For something to be front-page news, given the word "news" itself, we can assume it must be something new or something surprising. And yet sexual assault is not something new. Sexual assault, along with other kinds of injustices, is reported in the media all the time. But through the campaign, these injustices were framed as not just news stories, they were firsthand experiences that had affected real people, who were creating, with the solidarity of others, what they needed and had previously lacked: a platform to speak out, the reassurance they weren't alone or to blame for what happened to them and open discussions that would help to reduce stigma around the issue. The voices of those directly affected were at the forefront of the story -- not the voices of journalists or commentators on social media. And that's why the story was news.

但这封信吸引的媒体关注 使我感到惊讶。 对于刊登在首页的新闻来说， 既然是“新”闻， 可以认为这是新的或令人惊讶的事情， 而性侵并不是什么新鲜事。 性侵，同其他的不公平一样， 是媒体报道的热点。 但这次运动中， 这些不公正并不仅仅被宣扬为新鲜事， 是对人们有切实影响的真实经历， 那些人同其他人一起，创造出 他们以前需要却缺乏的东西： 一个表达心声的平台， 能够消除不安， 或是责怪这种行为，以及能够帮助减轻耻辱的公开探讨。 这些故事的讲述者都是直接受害者， 不是社交媒体上的记者或评论员们 这也是为何这些故事确实是新闻

We live in an incredibly interconnected world with the proliferation of social media, which is of course a fantastic resource for igniting social change. But it's also made us increasingly reactive, from the smallest annoyances of, "Oh, my train's been delayed," to the greatest injustices of war, genocides, terrorist attacks. Our default response has become to leap to react to any kind of grievance by tweeting, Facebooking, hastagging -- anything to show others that we, too, have reacted.

我们生活在一个相互关联的世界， 有社交媒体作为传播工具， 而它也为点燃社会变革 提供了宝贵资源， 但这也使人们变得多愁善感， 从细小的烦心事，“哎，火车又晚点了” 严重到战争、种族屠杀、 恐怖袭击所带来的不公， 人们默认的表达悲愤的方式是通过 在推特、脸书上发文 任何能够让他人知道我们 作出反应的方式。

The problem with reacting in this manner en masse is it can sometimes mean that we don't actually react at all, not in the sense of actually doing anything, anyway. It might make ourselves feel better, like we've contributed to a group mourning or outrage, but it doesn't actually change anything. And what's more, it can sometimes drown out the voices of those directly affected by the injustice, whose needs must be heard.

大众都采用这种方式做出回应 的问题是， 即人们并不是真正的在作为， 没有做任何实质性的行动。 这样做可能会使人们自我感觉良好， 就好像我们是默哀或愤慨的 团队中的一份子， 但这改变不了任何事情 甚至， 这种反应会淹没那些， 遭遇不公的直接受害者的声音， 而这些人才是真正需要被倾听的对象。

Worrying, too, is the tendency for some reactions to injustice to build even more walls, being quick to point fingers with the hope of providing easy solutions to complex problems. One British tabloid, on the publication of my letter, branded a headline stating, "Oxford Student Launches Online Campaign to Shame Attacker." But the campaign never meant to shame anyone. It meant to let people speak and to make others listen. Divisive Twitter trolls were quick to create even more injustice, commenting on my attacker's ethnicity or class to push their own prejudiced agendas. And some even accused me of feigning the whole thing to push, and I quote, my "feminist agenda of man-hating."

还有令人担忧的是， 有些应对不公的行为 可能会创造出更多隔阂， 人们迅速问责， 希望这样就能为这些复杂的问题 提供简单的解决方案。 一家刊登我的信的英国小报， 是这样标题的： “牛津学生在网上发起羞辱施暴者运动” 但这场运动从未打算羞辱任何人。 它的初衷是让人们说出故事， 并让其他人倾听， 分裂性言论很快在推特上扩散， 创造出更多不公正， 评论我的施暴者的民族或社会阶级 从而宣扬他们自身的偏见主义 有人甚至指责我捏造了这整个事件， 引用他的话， “为了实现女权主义对男性的仇恨之心。”

I know, right? As if I'm going to be like, "Hey guys! Sorry I can't make it, I'm busy trying to hate the entire male population by the time I'm 30."

很无稽，对吧， 就好像说“抱歉，伙计们， 我去不了了， 因为当我30岁的时候， 我正忙着仇视所有男人呢‘’

Now, I'm almost sure that these people wouldn't say the things they say in person. But it's as if because they might be behind a screen, in the comfort in their own home when on social media, people forget that what they're doing is a public act -- that other people will be reading it and be affected by it.

我几乎可以肯定， 这些人如果当着我的面 肯定不会这样说， 但这似乎是因为他们躲在电脑屏幕后面， 舒适的待在自己家里， 在社交媒体上， 他们会忘记自己的行为其实是公众行为， 会有其他人阅读他们的言论， 并因此受到影响。

Returning to my analogy of getting back on our trains, another main concern I have about this noise that escalates from our online responses to injustice is that it can very easily slip into portraying us as the affected party, which can lead to a sense of defeatism, a kind of mental barrier to seeing any opportunity for positivity or change after a negative situation.

回到我说的那个地铁的比喻， 关于网络上那些对不公的反应， 还有一个关键的担忧， 这样做的结果容易使受害方， 产生一种失败感， 一道屏障，导致受害者在遇害后， 无法正视积极的变化。

A couple of months before the campaign started or any of this happened to me, I went to a TEDx event in Oxford, and I saw Zelda la Grange speak, the former private secretary to Nelson Mandela. One of the stories she told really struck me. She spoke of when Mandela was taken to court by the South African Rugby Union after he commissioned an inquiry into sports affairs. In the courtroom, he went up to the South African Rugby Union's lawyers, shook them by the hand and conversed with them, each in their own language. And Zelda wanted to protest, saying they had no right to his respect after this injustice they had caused him.

这次运动开始前几个月， 在我遭遇这些事情之前， 我参加了在牛津举办的TEDx活动， 观看了赛尔达·拉·格兰吉的演讲， 他是纳尔逊·曼德拉的前任私人秘书。 有一个故事对我的影响很大 在曼德拉委任对体育事务 进行调查之后， 南非橄榄球联盟， 将其告上法庭。 在法庭上， 曼德拉走向南非橄榄球联盟的律师， 同他们握手， 并用他们的语言进行交谈。 当时塞尔达想抗议， 她认为那些人对曼德拉造成的不公正， 不值得受到曼德拉的尊敬。

He turned to her and said, "You must never allow the enemy to determine the grounds for battle."At the time of hearing these words, I didn't really know why they were so important, but I felt they were, and I wrote them down in a notebook I had on me. But I've thought about this line a lot ever since.

曼德拉则告诉她说： “永远不要让敌人来决定战场。”当我听到这些话时， 我并没有真正知道到它的重要性， 但我感觉到了， 所以把它们记到了本子上。后来，这句话我思考了很久。

Revenge, or the expression of hatred towards those who have done us injustice may feel like a human instinct in the face of wrong, but we need to break out of these cycles if we are to hope to transform negative events of injustice into positive social change. To do otherwise continues to let the enemy determine the grounds for battle, creates a binary, where we who have suffered become the affected, pitted against them, the perpetrators. And just like we got back on our tubes, we can't let our platforms for interconnectivity and community be the places that we settle for defeat.

复仇，或者是向那些对你施加不公的人 表达恨意， 或许是人类面对不公正行为 所产生的直觉， 但我们需要打破这些常规， 如果我们希望将不公带来的负面影响 转变为正面的社会变革的话。 如果我们继续 让敌人来决定战斗， 制造出一种二进制的状态， 那些受害者变成影响者， 与施暴者针锋相对。 正如我们选择继续回到地铁上一样， 我们不能允许人类相互关联的平台和社区 成为决斗的战场。

But I don't want to discourage a social media response, because I owe the development of the Not Guilty campaign almost entirely to social media. But I do want to encourage a more considered approach to the way we use it to respond to injustice.

但我并不想打击社交媒体的反应， 因为“不羞愧”这次运动几乎全部 得益于社交网络。 但我想鼓励用更加深思熟虑的方法-- 来应对社会不公正。

The start, I think, is to ask ourselves two things. Firstly: Why do I feel this injustice? In my case, there were several answers to this. Someone had hurt me and those who I loved, under the assumption they wouldn't have to be held to account or recognize the damage they had caused. Not only that, but thousands of men and women suffer every day from sexual abuse, often in silence, yet it's still a problem we don't give the same airtime to as other issues. It's still an issue many people blame victims for.

我想，首先， 我们应该自问两个问题。 第一：“我为什么感受到不公正？” 在我自己身上， 这个问题的答案有好几个。 有人伤害了我，而有些我爱的人， 认为肇事者对此没有责任， 或不知道对我造成的伤害。 不仅如此， 成千上万的男女都遭受着性侵， 他们大多保持沉默， 而问题是对此事的关注度 比其他事件少。 至今仍有许多人指责受害者。

Next, ask yourself: How, in recognizing these reasons, could I go about reversing them? With us, this was holding my attacker to account -- and many others. It was calling them out on the effect they had caused. It was giving airtime to the issue of sexual assault, opening up discussions amongst friends, amongst families, in the media that had been closed for too long, and stressing that victims shouldn't feel to blame for what happened to them. We might still have a long way to go in solving this problem entirely. But in this way, we can begin to use social media as an active tool for social justice, as a tool to educate, to stimulate dialogues, to make those in positions of authority aware of an issue by listening to those directly affected by it.

其次，问你自己： “当你认识到这些原因了， 怎样才能改变它们呢？” 对于我来说， 是让我的施暴者承担起责任。 让他们知道我们受到的伤害。 是让媒体更多的关注性侵事件， 是打开亲朋好友之间的交流， 重建封闭太久的媒体通道， 是强调受害者不应为其所 遭受的伤害而受到责备。 完全解决这些问题或许还需要很长一段路 但是，通过这种方式， 我们便能够开始把社交媒体 当成有效的工具， 来应对社会不公正，教育大众， 鼓励对话， 让当权人士意识到这些问题， 让他们倾听这些直接受害者的声音。

Because sometimes these questions don't have easy answers. In fact, they rarely do. But this doesn't mean we still can't give them a considered response. In situations where you can't go about thinking how you'd reverse this feeling of injustice, you can still think, maybe not what you can do, but what you can not do. You can not build further walls by fighting injustice with more prejudice, more hatred. You can not speak over those directly affected by an injustice. And you can not react to injustice, only to forget about it the next day, just because the rest of Twitter has moved on.

因为有时这些问题并没有简单的回答。 实际上，几乎是没有。 但这并不意味着我们不能／做出考究的回应。 当你不知道该怎样做 才能转变这种遭遇不公的境地时， 与其纠结该做何事， 不如想想不做哪些事情。 你不能以偏见来对抗不公平， 更多的仇恨。 你可以不对那些直接受害者闲言碎语， 你可以不对不公平做回应， 第二天忘掉这件事， 因为推特已经把这件事忘掉。

Sometimes not reacting instantly is, ironically, the best immediate course of action we can take. Because we might be angry, upset and energized by injustice, but let's consider our responses. Let us hold people to account, without descending into a culture that thrives off shaming and injustice ourselves. Let us remember that distinction, so often forgotten by internet users, between criticism and insult. Let us not forget to think before we speak, just because we might have a screen in front of us. And when we create noise on social media, let it not drown out the needs of those affected, but instead let it amplify their voices, so the internet becomes a place where you're not the exception if you speak out about something that has actually happened to you.

讽刺的是，有时不立刻作出反应， 反而是我们能够做到的最快的行动。 因为这些不公可能会让你愤怒、苦恼， 但想想我们该怎么回应。 让肇事者负起责任， 但同时不让我们的社会 堕落于羞耻施暴者，引起更多不公。 让我们谨记常被互联网用户遗忘的一点， 那就是批判和羞辱 之间的区别。 让我们别忘了三思而言， 尽管我们有面前的屏幕保护着自己。 当我们在社交网络上发声时， 不要淹没受害者的需求， 而要扩散他们的声音， 从而让互联网成为一个就算说出自己的遭遇 也不会当成另类看待的地方。

All these considered approaches to injustice evoke the very keystones on which the internet was built: to network, to have signal, to connect -- all these terms that imply bringing people together, not pushing people apart.

所有这些对抗不公的方法， 唤起了互联网建立时的初衷， 那就是网络，标榜和连接-- 这寓意着使人们团结， 而不是疏远。

Because if you look up the word "justice" in the dictionary, before punishment, before administration of law or judicial authority, you get: "The maintenance of what is right." And I think there are few things more "right" in this world than bringing people together, than unions. And if we allow social media to deliver that, then it can deliver a very powerful form of justice, indeed.Thank you very much.

因为当你在字典里查“公正”一词时， 在惩罚， 法规或司法权威之前， 你会看到： “维护正义” 我想地球上还是有几样“正义的”事物 超越联盟 使人们团结一致， 如果我们让社交媒体传播这一点， 那它便能带来强大的公正体系。

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