【对谈】给绳缚初学者的建议、关于媒体、关于疗愈
在上个星期天，来自世界各地的朋友们一起参加了KF的线上大师工作坊：绳缚中的几何学。在教学结束后，我和指导师Addie & Barkas进行了简要的对谈，关于媒体、初学绳缚、与疗愈。以下是这一段简要对谈的内容和我希望补充的一些话。
Last Sunday, participants from around the world joined our KF online masterclass: Differential Geometry for Rope Bondage. After the lesson, I had a brief chat with instructors Addie and Barkas about media, learning rope, and healing. Below is a transcript of this conversation and a few things I would like to add.
本期嘉宾 Addie & Barkas
关于媒体 On Media
许多绳缚的初学者首先是从一些影视、网络视频、表演、或者其它媒体上接触到的绳缚，然而在媒体中所呈现的绳缚和日常生活中人们所实践的绳缚却往往大有不同。在这方面，对于绳缚的初学者，你们有哪些建议？
Many people were first introduced to Shibari through movies, video clips, performances, or other media. However, the Shibari that is represented in these media may differ wildly from the Shibari that people practice daily. In this regard, could you give some advices to newcomers?
Barkas：我最喜欢的指挥家之一，赫伯特·卡拉扬，曾经在一次柏林爱乐乐团的排练中这样说：“我知道你们已经可以演奏这些音符，现在试着把它们充满生命。”我会说你，就像每个人，每个个体一样，都有着独特的人格，独特的生命。当你看见绳缚，你会看见结，看见位置，看见场景中的一瞬间，有时你会看见一个视频甚至更多。你看见的是技巧。如果你想要实践这些技巧，你会以不同的方式使用它们因为你有一个不同的人格。所以不论你想用什么充满你的绳缚，都是合理的。对于许多人来说它是情欲的，对于许多人来说它是艺术的，对于许多人来说它是挑战身体的、运动的，对我来说，它几乎是精神分析的，或者最近来说，更像是拓补分析的【1】。不管你从什么角度实践它它都是绳缚，是紧缚，因为紧缚意味着带着兴奋或者带着期待去捆绑。所以，学习这些音符，学习如何演奏它们，也就是说，学习如何捆绑一个单柱缚或者一个双柱缚，或者一个TK，或者一条吊绳，不论是什么，但是之后要用你的生命充满这些音符。
Barkas: One of my favourite conductors, Herbert Karajan, at a rehearsal at Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra, said “I know you can play the notes by now, but now try to fill them with life.” I would say you, like everyone, every person, has their own personality, has their own life. When you see ropes, you see knots, you see positions, you see a moment of a scene. Sometimes you see a video or so or you see more than that. You see the technique. If you want to do it, you will apply these techniques differently because you have a different personality. So no matter what you want to fill ropes with, it’s valid. For many people it has this erotic touch, for many people it has an artistic touch, for many people it has a physically demanding, athletic touch, for me, it almost has a psychoanalytic touch, or these days, more like a topoanalytic touch. It doesn’t matter which approach you have it’s all rope, it’s all kinbaku, because kinbaku means to tie with excitement or to tie with anticipation. And so learn the notes, learn how to play the notes, that is, learn how to tie a single column tie or a double column tie, or a TK, or a suspension line, no matter what, but then fill those notes with your life.
赫伯特·卡拉扬
Addie: 两个想法但是它们更简短，我保证。一个是：这种非常容易获得的媒体所表现的绳缚和我所见到大多数人实践的绳缚的关系就和成人//电影和SE//X的关系差不多。所以它并不是一个真实的表现。它会迎合那些更有可能给它钱的观众的胃口。那么如果这是你所追求的概念，我相信你最终多少会感到失望，因为你在追求一个不真实的东西。另一点是，在你成为一个专家之前你也有享受绳缚的权力。有些我所见过的最棒的绳缚使用的是最最简单的捆绑技巧。我想我们都想要获得的以及让绳缚如此美好的一点是在于那种成为某个人的注意的中心的感觉是十分强有力的。所以一个技巧简单但是带着爱和心意和专注以及善意的场景，要比一个有着最高超的技巧但是毫无个人因素的场景感觉要好。所以从一开始的时候就享受绳缚。使用你足够了解的技巧即便你唯一能做好的是在一个人身上缠绕绳子。不要为了享受去做最有挑战的事情——练习它们，没问题，但是为自己埋下美好的体验的伏笔。享受那些你可以做好并且可以让你快乐和愉悦的东西。
Addie: Two thoughts but they are shorter, I promise. One is this: the sort of easily accessible media portrayal of rope bondage has about as much relationship to the bondage that I’ve seen most people tie as po//rn does to se//x. So it’s not a realistic representation. It’s tailored to the audience that is most likely to give it money. And if that’s the concept you pursue, I believe you’ll end up feeling somewhat unfulfilled, because you are chasing something that’s fake. And the other part is, you are allowed to have fun before you are an expert. Some of the best scenes I’ve ever had have been very very simple rope techniques. But I think what we all want and one of the things that makes rope so wonderful is its’s a very powerful feeling to be the focus of somebody’s attention. And so a scene with simple technique but with love and heart and focus and good intention, will feel better than a scene with the best technique and nothing personal. So have fun from the beginning. Play with things you know well even if the only thing you know well is how to wrap a rope around somebody. Don’t try to do the most challenging things for fun, practice them, sure, but set yourself up for good things. Play with the things that you can do well that make you happy and have fun.
Gandalf: 首先添加一个译注【1】，Barkas所说的“Topoanalytic”或者"Topoanalysis"的概念来自法国哲学家Gaston Bachelard的书The Poetics of Space （空间诗学，1958）。其中这样定义了Topoanalysis:
“我希望将精神分析的这一分支命名为拓补分析。拓补分析，那么，即是对于我们的亲密生活的场所进行的系统性心理研究。”
Gandalf: First a note on translation 【1】, what Barkas refered to as "Topoanalytic" or "Topoanalysis" came from French philosopher Gaston Bachelard's The Poetics of Space (1958), which defined Topoanalysis as:
"I should like to give the name of topoanalysis to this auxiliary of psychoanalysis. Topoanalysis, then, would be the systematic psychological study of the sites of our intimate lives. "
Gandalf: 我提出这个问题是因为绳缚在其简短的历史中的大部分时间都以两种形式存在着，一种是在影片和表演中呈现出的消费品，一种是私人领域中的实践。对于大部分人来说，前者是可见的，后者是隐形的，以至于许多人的实践往往是由前者所启发。然而，如Addie指出，媒体中的呈现往往需要吸引观众的眼球以获得更多的关注和付费，于是我们看到许多感官化的、情绪化的、戏剧化的、夸张的绳缚表现。这其中当然不乏精彩的媒体作品，不论在观赏还是艺术价值上都达到了相当的高度。
然而即便如此，且不谈粗制滥造的作品，不论是大众还是绳缚实践者混淆这两种绳缚都是值得警惕的事情。我们必须区分媒体所呈现的绳缚和日常的绳缚，就像我们必须区分想象的暴力和现实的暴力，区分幻想的情爱和现实的情爱。对于大众来说，不能区别这两种绳缚滋生了诸多对于绳缚的偏见，尤其是上世纪后叶出现了大量强调感官刺激的作品，主题上也往往会挪用暴力的情节。对于绳缚实践者来说，大部分人的绳缚实践的情景和影视以及表演中的情景都是截然不同的。大部分人不会成为绳缚表演者，也不会成为媒体创作者，因此，人们需要为自己树立一个忠诚于自己本心的、实际的目标，而不是追求某种呈现的效果。
This is not a good representation of....anything
与此相关的一个现象是，可能许多绳缚的研习者，带着诚恳的态度和工匠一般的精神去追求在技术上的精进，虽然这很令人欣赏，但是这一过程却变得过于像是修行而非像是享受。我自己便经历了这样一个阶段，一度十分努力地试图学习Kinoko的空中变换，但是却难以在这一过程中感受到学习的意义。直至最后我不得不承认，我学习仅仅是因为希望自己能够在技术上做到和大师表演者类似的事情，但事实是这一种风格的呈现并不适合我，这并不是我实践绳缚的本心。
因此我非常感谢Addie的建议：“在你成为一个专家之前你也有享受绳缚的权力”。你并不需要复杂的技巧去享受绳缚。不论你是初学者，还是希望有朝一日成为能力超群的绳手的实践者，都请不要忘记享受它。所以练习之余，不要忘记做一些自己擅长的事情。学习之余，也不要忘记问问自己，这是不是自己想要实践绳缚的本心？
Skinny Red Art - Self-Suspension Performance
Gandalf: I asked this question because throughout the brief history when Shibari existed, it often existed in two forms: one that was presented as a consumable in videos and performances, and one that was practiced privately. For most people, the former is visible whereas the latter is not, such that many people's practices were inspired by the former. However, as Addie pointed out, media representations often demand the audience' attention and therefore payment, so we see many sensationalised, sentimental, dramatised, and exaggerated depictions of rope bondage. Amongst them are indeed some master works that reached a high level of aesthetic and artistic value.
Despite this, putting aside the works that are terribly-made, it is alarming for the general public and Shibari practioners to confuse these two kinds of Shibari. We must distinguish media representations of Shibari from daily practices of Shibari, just as we must distinguish between fantacised violence and actual violence, and between fantacised eroticism from actual erotic love. For the general public, failing to do so has continued to breed many prejudices against Shibari, especially after the surge of sensationalised works from late last century, which heavily appropriated violent incidents. For rope practitioners, most people's rope scenes would be vastly different from those in videos or performances. Most people would not become Shibari performers or media content creators. Thus, we need to set a goal that is honest and realistic, rather than chasing after some stage effect.
A related occurance is, perhaps, many students of Shibari carry an ernest attitude and craftsperson-like dedication into the pursuit of technical improvement, which is admirable in spirit but the process could feel more like a trial than an enjoyment. I myself is an example. For a period of my life I was devoted to studying Kinoko's suspension transitions from my teacher, but I could not derive a sense of purpose from my studies. At last I had to admit that the only reason I studied them was so that I could do something similar to a master performer. The fact is, however, that his style of presentation did not suit me, and that it was not why I wanted to practice rope.
This is why I'm highly grateful for Addie's advice: "you are allowed to have fun before you are an expert". You do not need complex techniques to enjoy tying (and be tied). Whether you are a newcomer or someone on their way to become the next high-skill rigger, please do not forget to enjoy it. Thus, when not practicing, remember to do someting you are good at. When not studying, remember to ask yourself, is this why I wanted to tie in the first place?
关于疗愈 On Healing
今天我们身边出现了许多五花八门的自我投资、自我培养的技巧，作为某种个人成长或者疗愈的方式。绳缚作为一种关于身体的技术，也很容易被归类到里面。你们如何看待绳缚的这一角色？
Today a variety of self-investment, self-cultivating techniques have been popping up, either as a means to personal growth or healing. As a technique about the body it is easy to see Shibari as part of this trend. How woud you comment on this role of Shibari?
Barkas：我想你说了“培养”自己。我想“培养”某个事情，某个人，总是建立在消除与毁灭的基础之上。通过“培养”，你所做的基本上是一种西方的、资本主义的对心理治疗的解读，也就是治愈那些裂痕。我想绳缚承载着与疗愈非常不同的一种潜能，那就是庆祝一个人的裂痕、一个人与“培养”所不一致的地方的潜能。庆祝它们，并彰显它们，并寻找一种方式与这些裂痕和解。我相信类似于日本金缮的艺术形式在中国也存在。它所做的，基于我的解读，是去庆祝某个东西流动的历史。而我相信那些去“治疗”某个人的“糟糕的地方”的方法是这种艺术的反面。在许多情况下，至少根据我所遇到的和读到的，心理治疗会去用某种隐形的超级胶水去隐藏所有的裂痕，然而绳缚承载着使用黄金去庆祝某个人的“糟糕的地方”的潜力，因为是这些裂痕使每个人美丽而有趣。
金缮
Barkas: I think you said “cultivating” yourself. I think cultivating something, someone, is always based on the foundation of eradication and destruction. By cultivating, you do what basically a Western, capitalist reading of psychotherapy, which is to heal the cracks. I think that rope bears a very different potential other than healing, namely to celebrate one’s cracks, one’s misalignments with “cultivation”. Celebrate them, and to highlight them, and find ways to find peace with those cracks. I’m convinced that a similar art form like Kintsugi in Japan exists in China as well. And what it does, in my reading, is to celebrate the moving history of something. And I think the approach of "healing" somebody’s “fuckedupness” is the opposite of that art form. It’s like psychotherapy in many cases, as far as I’ve encountered and read about, is to use invisible super glue and try to hide all the cracks, whereas ropes bear the potential of using gold to celebrate one’s fuckedupness because it’s the cracks that make somebody beautiful and interesting.
Addie: 我同意所有的这些并会提出一个小小的反对意见，关于技巧、实践、冥想等等。在你意识到裂痕在那里之前你不能庆祝它们。所以这些技巧是有用的。世界上所有的自助书籍并不能解决问题但是有时候它们可以帮助你发现关于你自己的情况。
Addie: I agree with all of this and I’m going to throw a small counter point that techniques, practices, meditations etc. You can’t celebrate cracks until you realise that they are there. So these techniques also are useful. All the self-help books in the world won’t fix problems but sometimes they can help you identify what it is that you are working with.
Gandalf: 如果可以的话，我鼓励大家阅读两位回答的英文原文。这些诗一样的句子很遗憾我无法不做背叛地将其翻译出来。
关于疗愈的话题，是一个与我个人十分相关的事情。很多朋友曾经建议我将Tying Slowly工作坊叫做“绳缚疗愈工作坊”（最后我妥协在“疗愈向工作坊”的用词上），或者误以为我的工作是“绳缚疗愈”。在我看来，这些都是不合适的。
首先，“疗愈”/“治疗”这样的词是有着重要的公共意义的，使用这样的词语需要有专门的资历、遵守专门的职业伦理才能保证大众不会失去对这些词语的信心。虽然我的专业出身是心理学，但是我受训的领域是认知科学而非咨询或者临床心理学。而即便我有着相关的资历，绳缚作为一种疗愈方法也是未经过科学检验的。因此，我的专业背景和我的方法都不允许我使用“疗愈”一词。我并不否认很多体验者收获了“疗愈”样的体验，我也为此感到快乐和深深的意义感，但这样的词汇的使用权最终在体验者的身上，而非属于我。
Tying Slowly Vol. 10 海报
而最重要的是，所谓“疗愈”，在我看来既不必要、也不是我的本心。对以正念冥想为代表的“自我技术”在新自由主义语境下的作用的批判已有许多学者加以著述，其危险性体现在（1）将情绪、自我成长等主题医疗化使其成为个人的道德责任 （2）对自我的关注忽视了对问题的结构性本质和社群的关注 （3）这些技术往往依赖于大量的个人投资和消费以至于 （4）“疗愈”成为了一种阶级属性很强的消费品。
这些话题已有学者作出精彩的讨论，此处我更希望承接Barkas无比精彩而动人的回答，说一说为什么我从绳缚中希望带来的不是疗愈，或者说，疗愈为何可能成为绳缚的副产品，却不是我的绳缚的本心。
我并不实践自缚，因此我的绳缚总是两个人的。在两个人的绳缚中，我希望去发现对方、了解对方、感动对方。因此我不能将我的绳子强加于对方之上，因为那将是无效的沟通。作为沟通我的每一步都需要基于对对方的观察与聆听。在一个人的动作之后，要有足够的留白去聆听对方给出的答复。因而在绳缚中，我并不想要改变一个人，我必须发现ta本来的样子，接受ta是谁，学习ta的语言，来一起走上我们的旅程。
如果我们可以做到接纳对方本来的样子，如果我们真正有着对一个人的好奇心去发现ta本来的样子，又何需“疗愈”呢？我们欣赏着彼此的不完美，这不完美便是可以被审美的。倘若我们能从彼此的裂痕中发现美，又何须去掩盖那些和“完美”不同的地方呢？
当然如Addie所说，通过不同的方式增进对自我的觉察，了解自己，总是一件有意义的事情。但绳缚的美妙在于，它教给我们一种不同的面对伤口的态度：它是美的。
Gandalf: If possible, I encourage everyone to read the original responses in English. These sentences are written like poems and unfortunately I cannot translate them without betrayal.
The topic of healing is one that is highly personal to me. Many friends have once recommended me to brand the Tying Slowly workshop series as "rope healing workshops" (I compromised to the wording of "healing-oriented"), or mistakenly consider my profession as "rope healing". To me, both are highly inappropriate.
To begin with, words like "healing"/"therapy" carry considerable public significance, such that they require people with specialised training and the abidance of strict ethical codes to use so that people do not lose their faith in them. Although my professional field is psychology, my training is in cognitive science rather than counseling or therapy. Even if I had relevant trainings, Shibari as a means for healing remains unevaluated by empirical methods. Thus, neither my professional training nor my methodology allow me to use the word "healing". I do not deny that many participants received experiences that warrent the description of "healing" and that I derive a sense of joy and meaning from this knowledge, but the right of usage for the word ultimately belongs to those participants, not me.
Most importantly, what is so-called "healing" does not seem significant to me, nor is it my intention. Many scholars have written about their criticism against "technologies of the self", championed by mindfulness meditation, in the context of neoliberalist ideology, namely that they (1) medicalise emotion, personal growth etc. so that it becomes a personal moral responsibility (2) over commitmant to attention on the self neglects the structual roots of problems and attention to the community (3) these technologies often rely on hugh amounts of investment onto and consumption related to the self such that (4) "healing" has become a consumable with strong class characteristics.
These topics have been brilliantly discussed by scholars elsewhere, here I'm more inclined to carry on Barkas' moving response and talk about why it is not healing that I hope to bring with rope. Or rather, why healing may be a by-product of Shibari, but not my intention.
I do not practice self-bondage, so my rope always involves two people. With two people, I seek to discover, understand, and move my partner. Thus, I cannot force my rope unto them as it would not be an effective communication. And as communication, every step I take has to base upon my observation and listening of my partner. After one action, space will be kept in order to hear their response. Thus in rope, I do not seek to change someone. I must discover what they are like, who they are, learn their language, so that we could set out on a journey together.
If we could accept someone for who they are, if we are genuinely curious about someone so that we try to find out more about them, there is no need for "healing". We appreciate each other's imperfections, and these imperfections are beautiful. And if we could find beauty from the cracks, why cover the spaces that are different from "perfection"?
Indeed, as Addie mentioned, it is always meaningful to learn about, and be aware of oneself through different means. The wonderful thing about Shibari is that it teaches us a different attitude towards wounds, that they can be beautiful.
关于工作坊 On Workshop
关于本期工作坊的内容，Barkas这样总结：
On the content of this workshop, this is Barkas' summary:
Barkas: 我们用非常容易理解的例子简短地介绍了几何学、微分几何、或者在曲面上的几何中的概念对绳缚的影响。我们手中有一个几乎没有弹性的标尺，当我们在捆绑的时候，不论我们是否愿意，我们在使用这个卷尺丈量身体上的距离。而不论我们是否愿意，身体上的绳子会依据自然法则运动，不论这些法则用什么语言书写（Addie: 或者被谁首先发现）。
Barkas: So this was a very brief introduction into the concept of geometry, differential geometry, or geometry on curved surfaces, influence rope bondage in very down-to-earth examples. So we have here a tape measure that is almost not stretchy, and with this tape measure we measure distances on the body when we are tying whether we want to or not. And whether we want to or not, the ropes on the body will behave according to the laws of nature, no matter in which language these laws are written (Addie: or who invented first).
如果您对工作坊内容感兴趣，请关注今后的线下研习活动。
If you are interested in the contents of this workshop, please stay tuned for offline practice events.
文中Addie & Barkas照片来自BarkasKinbaku
Photos of Addie & Barkas are credited to BarkasKinbaku
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