词汇语法都很好，大作文分数却不高？秘密就在你写的例子里！

【姓名】Nick Yang

【主讲科目】雅思口语、写作

【简介】雅思口语写作双料名师，7年雅思一线教学，极度丰富的雅思实战经验。口语教学擅长短时间内提高学生即兴演讲，其中“培养皿练习法”与“焰火法则”有效帮助广大考生在规定时间内应对海量题目，彻底根治考生“无思路”、“无语料”、“无亮点”的窘况。写作教学风格以洞悉考官阅卷习惯及塑造逻辑连贯而著名，在教学资料上，掌握了北美最全面的写作真题题库，在执教中，有每节课当场10分钟完成一篇至少7分范文的惊艳表现。

【经历】西悉尼大学中英翻译学硕士，国际翻译师资格。参与多版官方教材编写，并著有《雅思口语速背360》等书籍。

最近，Nick有机会和以前认识的一位考官聊天，中间说起了现在考生们经常犯的错误。那位考官表示，最不能忍的就是大家对于大作文中引用案例的处理。就着这个话题，今天，Nick就和各位聊一聊你们常犯的错误，希望大家能够改正：

错误1: 引用过于繁琐或细节太多的案例

降分幅度：轻度

Bad example: I have a friend who is a teacher. He was born and raised in China and he was well educated. When he was a student in high school, he was the top student and usually won the top position in mark-ranking every semester. After he graduated, he becomes a very successful man who found job very easily.

点评：这个朋友的内容介绍也实在太啰嗦了！

Good example: A friend of mine who was well educated in high school is a perfect instance to prove how important the knowledge is to a person’s job finding because he was successfully employed after graduation.

错误2: 引用明显造假的案例

降分幅度：明显

Bad example: People in the world all know that Olympic games are held in developed countries and some reports published in Oxford University’s academic study even say that only rich countries are able to organize successful sport events.

点评：明显不符合事实啊，2008年的奥运会就是在一个发展中国家办的！而且你怎么就这么牛，能记得住牛津大学的学术报告呢？

Good example: There are some evidences to show that sport events are better organized in some rich countries because of their economic support.

错误3: 没有在案例中展示出核心论点

降分幅度：较大

Bad example: I have a friend who is very well educated and he found a job after graduation.

点评：核心证明的论点一定要在例子中体现，不然考官无法理解这件事情是怎么发生的！

Good example: A friend of mine who was well educated in high school is a perfect instance to prove how important the knowledge is to a person’s job finding because he was successfully employed after graduation. （其实就是第一个题目的例子）

错误4: 引用的案例涉及敏感话题或不适当在雅思考试中出现

降分幅度：很大

Bad example: Donald Trump, as we all know, is a terrible president and he usually made some ridiculous mistakes during his speech.

点评：这是明显的看热闹不嫌事大。你怎么知道考官会不会欣赏你的想法？

Good example: Some national leaders who made mistakes in their speeches might not have full support from their people.

错误5: 论点与论据完全不符

降分幅度：巨大（这里需要整段表述）

Bad example: Using internet is an efficient way to study comparing with reading paper-made book because it saves a great deal of time. For instance, the students in universities with free wifi usually have better graduation rate than those only with libraries.

点评：明明是要证明用电脑是省时间的，怎么到例子里就变成了毕业率更高了？？这都是考官眼里非常严重的错误，可能会导致内容和逻辑的双重扣分。

Good example: Using internet is an efficient way to study comparing with reading paper-made book because it saves a great deal of time. For instance, the students in universities with free wifi usually have more time to participate more activities than those only with libraries.

看完这些，小烤鸭们有没有意识到自己平时犯的错误？希望大家有则改之，无则加勉，相信一定可以考出好成绩滴！

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