【学术干货】申请美国大学的Personal Statement怎么写

环球讲师：Kei Lee

本科英语专业，英语专业8级，本科毕业后曾到泰国志愿教授中英文。2014年获得美国密歇根州立大学高等教育管理学硕士学位。拥有6年以上资深教学经验，曾在国内知名培训机构担任托福、雅思、SAT讲师。

以独特的亲和力、耐心以及纯正的英文发音获得学生的喜爱。多年在北美的教育工作经历，使她更善于帮助留学生找到自身问题所在，并加以改正。雅思A类8.5分获得者，其中口语获得9分满分。语言基础扎实。

Personal Statement怎么写

很多同学在申请美国大学的时候都会被要求提交一份Personal Statement，相信每当这时，很多同学就会觉得头痛了。那么，PS到底要怎么写呢？Kei老师希望通过这篇文章大家可以稍微体会到。

实例展示

为了给大家更好地展示写PS的要点，我给大家准备了一个实例。申请人是我在美国读大学时的一个学妹，读的是supply chain management专业。大学毕业之时，她想去乔治亚理工继续深造，但是专业想要换成supply chain engineering。乔治亚理工是全美数一数二的理工科院校，所以她找到我这个前辈帮她看看她的PS。所以，我们先来看看乔治亚理工希望她怎么写这篇PS吧：

“

    Please clearly indicate the reasons you wish to study in your chosen program at Georgia Tech as opposed to some other program or university. 

    The biography should describe the applicant's academic background, training and experience and should mention honors, memberships, and extracurricular activities. Special areas of research or interest should be discussed. Please be concise and specific in your response. 

”

首先，学校希望她陈述一下申请乔治亚理工supply chain engineering的原因。其次，PS要求包含一个个人简介（biography），其中要求附上申请人的学术背景、学习经历以及所得的任何奖项、课外活动和研究等等。最后提醒申请人要写得既简洁又详细。

接下来我们看看我这个学妹是怎么写的吧。

    My interest in supply chain engineering dates back to my second year in Michigan State University, where I excelled in supply chain, statistics, math, research methodology, and information technology courses. I gained a comprehensive understanding of the science of supply chain management when I had the opportunity to be exposed to the full range of supply chain courses, all of which tended to reinforce and solidify my intense interest in operation and logistics fields. Therefore, in Fall 2014, I assisted two professors in supply chain management department to collect data on one research to study the impact of Tsunami on auto industry. Also an analysis that targeting Toyota to learn lean production was conducted for this research, which brought a better understanding on such a emerging supply chain topic.

    I have also had the opportunity to study a number of subjects in computer science, system analysis and design, as well as decision modeling and they have been all enjoyable and enlightening, providing me with a new and different perspective on my academic learning.

    In addition, I have developed a special interest in consulting industry because of learning a consulting project from Accenture through my summer internship experience in Toshiba Transformer, an affiliation of Toshiba Corporation in China.  I participated in an annual project as a sourcing assistant and was shown this consulting result, focusing on supply chain process optimization, in order to set strategies for overall commodities’ sourcing. When I went into details with the consulting report, I was amazed and recognized my enthusiasm to be involved in the consulting industry with my profession in supply chain. An engineering background will definitely strengthen my professionalism to be a supply chain consultant, which requires exceptional analytical and planning skills as well as an understanding of manufacturing processes. 

    Meanwhile, I chose IT as a minor in order to better prepare myself to be involved in an engineering program and a future position in the consulting industry. Once I have had an opportunity, as a representative of Michigan State University, to interact with a team from Georgia Institution of Technology in the CoMIS competition in Minnesota in Spring 2014. CoMIS competition is held to test relevant IT skills of participants. Besides the honor and experience gained from this competition, students and faculties from GIT impressed me with confidence and profession when we were getting to know each other. It was surprising to be inspired by couple of them who shared similar passion and their past experiences in both GIT and clinic consulting industry with me.

    As a result, I plan for further education in both supply chain and engineering, and the Georgia Tech Master of Science in Supply Chain Engineering, with excellent faculty, facilities and resources, that covering all fields that I would like to devote myself to in the future career practices, is what I am particularly looking forward to.  I believe that I will be able to contribute to and learn from the academically challenging environment at Georgia Institution of Technology.

例文分析

      从上面这篇例文我们可以看到，申请人把乔治亚理工PS的两个要求合并在一起了----通过阐述自己的学习经历的同时告诉招生负责人为什么自己对乔治亚理工感兴趣。可是，在我看来，这篇PS只达到了要求当中“详细”这一标准，并没有有效强调为什么申请人选择了乔治亚理工来作为自己的学习目的地，段与段之间的逻辑关系也不是特别的强，仅仅把自己之前做过的事情描述了一遍，就像一锅大杂烩，没有什么重点。总的来说，这篇PS结构上缺乏明确的主次感，语言上也不够简洁精炼，没有让人眼前一亮的感觉。

      所以，我就帮她大刀阔斧地改了。

I wish to study in Supply Chain Engineering MS Program at Georgia Tech for the following reasons:

1)    Georgia Tech is a world-renowned institution that excels in the fields of science and technology, and its School of Engineering receives very high ranking among peer institutions. This means abundant resources, elite researchers and excellent faculties are available at the institution to help its students become outstanding professionals.

2)    I developed a strong interest in supply chain engineering in my sophomore year. During the study in my program, I noticed that supply chain management (SCM) is only a controlling tool for existing logistics networks. After reading relevant articles, I was introduced to the concept of supply chain engineering (SCE), which addresses the creation and optimization of supply chains. I found it more useful than SCM.

3)    Further study in SCE matches my career goal—supply chain consulting. During my internship as a sourcing assistant at Toshiba Transformer, I participated in sourcing strategy evaluation. I was shown a consulting report from Accenture, the famous consulting company. The report focused on the optimization of the supply chain process to set strategies for the overall commodity sourcing. As I reviewed all the details in the report, my passion in supply chain consulting grew. An SCE background can definitely make me understand better the manufacturing and logistics processes and enhance my skills and ability to work as a future supply chain consultant.

4)    A few courses in the curriculum of Supply Chain Engineering MS Program at Georgia Tech are directly related to my undergraduate study. For example, the course of Supply Chain Strategy is one of the major topics in my current program. I have also studied Statistics in the context of SCM. Moreover, with a minor in Computer Science, I studied system analysis and design as well as programming. I believe I have a solid academic foundation for this MS Program at Georgia Tech. 

Biography:

    I am a senior student of Supply Chain Management at Michigan State University (MSU). My current program is ranked as one of the top SCM programs. I am in good academic standing with a GPA of 3.97 out of 4.00. Through four years’ study in this program, I gained a comprehensive understanding of SCM, such as decision modeling and lean production. With a strong interest in logistics operation processes, in fall 2014, I assisted two professors of SCM Department in collecting data for the study of the impact of tsunami on auto industry and the analysis of lean production at Toyota. These experiences exposed me to some emerging topics in SCM. In summer 2014, I interned at Toshiba Transformer in China as a sourcing assistant. There I witnessed the whole logistics process and came to understand supply chain consulting. I developed great passion in it, and determined to be a supply chain consultant in the future.

    Minored in Computer Science, I am also trained in system analysis and design, which prepared me for courses and activities outside SCM. During fall 2013 I worked with students in applied engineering to develop an APP that aimed to track employee experiences for MSU Department of Sustainability. I also helped redesign the website and database for interpreter search for Michigan Division on Deaf and Hard of Hearing. In spring 2014, I participated in CoMIS Case Competition as one of the MSU representatives. With our case focusing on the disruptive technology in health care, my team and I earned a lot of attention. There I also had the chance to meet some faculty members and students from Georgia Tech. They left me great impression and inspired me to apply to this university.

    It is my goal to become an SCE professional. With my solid background in SCM and IT, I am sure that this MS Program will lead me to a fulfilling Supply Chain career. I believe I will learn a lot from the challenging environment at Georgia Tech, and contribute my knowledge to this program. 

    首先我用黑体字将选择乔治亚理工的理由和个人简介两个部分分开了，明确告诉阅读的人我这篇东西有两个不同的要点。

    第二，所有理由我用了四点分别陈述，每个点的第一句都是一个申请人选择这所学校的原因，接下来再去用详细的点去展开论述，层次鲜明。而且，理由的第一点首先称赞乔治亚理工也是有目的的：难道你选择报这所大学不是因为它很优秀吗？所以不要吝啬笔墨先夸它一下！

    至于后面的个人简介部分，我帮我的学妹增加了一些她之前没有提到过的东西，例如她的GPA，还有之前学校和专业的排名，进一步告诉审查的人申请人本身就很优秀，包括之前所在的学校也是让人放心的造就人才之地。

    总的来说，这样的结构能够让审查的人一眼看到此篇的要点去尽快做出对申请人资格的判断。不要忘了，申请人不止你一个，录取的决策者没有很多时间去你的PS里大海捞针般寻找你想要表达的信息，尤其是这种理工科专业，

请你写PS的时候拿出你的最好逻辑：
Be clear, be concise, be compact!

      本篇文章篇幅略长，如果你能看到这里，说明你可能确实被写PS这个任务难倒过，或是正在思考要怎么写。虽然例文这篇PS是本科申请研究生的时候写的，但是PS的写法和要点万变不离其宗，你写它的目的就是要让你申请的大学一眼就深深爱上你。所以，希望我给出的这两篇例文能够给你一些启发，帮助你顺利进入你想去的美国大学。

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