Chinese PhD's €88,000 dowry request makes Dutch boyfriend flee

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A Chinese PhD student studying in the Netherlands found herself in a surprising situation after requesting a significant dowry from her Dutch boyfriend, leading him to call the police and flee. The incident has sparked a lively debate among netizens, with opinions divided on cultural practices and personal expectations.

The woman, born in 1991 and pursuing her doctoral studies abroad through a government scholarship, had previously married a man in China with a dowry of 660,000 yuan (approximately €88,000) before moving overseas. However, the marriage ended in divorce after four years. Seeking to settle in the Netherlands, she began dating a local man, hoping to start a family and secure residency through marriage.

The couple cohabitated, and upon discovering her pregnancy, she decided to uphold her cultural traditions by requesting a dowry before marriage. However, her request was for €88,000 (around 680,000 yuan), a sum that shocked her Dutch boyfriend.

The sizable financial demand prompted her boyfriend to flee, leaving her and the unborn child behind. He even reported the situation to the local authorities, possibly due to misunderstanding the cultural practice or perceiving it as a form of extortion. The experience likely deterred him from engaging with Chinese or other Asian women in the future, given the financial burden he encountered.

Despite the challenges, the PhD student remained consistent in her expectations. She had asked her Chinese ex-husband for a 660,000 yuan dowry and did not lower her standards for her Dutch boyfriend. Her decision not to forgo or reduce the dowry reflects her principles and refusal to adopt double standards based on nationality. Nonetheless, this choice comes with the consequence of raising a child alone in a foreign country, illustrating the cultural clash and personal costs associated with such traditions.

The incident has generated significant discussion online. Some netizens support the woman's stance, praising her for treating both her Chinese ex-husband and Dutch boyfriend equally. One commenter wrote, "She stands by her principles and doesn't discriminate based on nationality. That's commendable." Another added, "It's important to uphold cultural traditions, even if they are not understood by everyone."

However, others criticize her for demanding such a large sum, suggesting it was unrealistic and inappropriate in a different cultural context. A skeptical netizen remarked, "Expecting a European to understand and comply with this tradition is naive. She should have adapted to the local customs." Another criticized the financial expectation, stating, "This is not about cultural preservation but a misguided sense of entitlement."