【41】词汇故事 : 不要为溢出的牛奶而哭泣”—— 号外：知名台湾作家林清玄去世，终年65岁
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WORDS AND THEIR STORIES
'Don't Cry Over Spilt Milk'
January 26, 2019
Milk spills from a protesting farmer's tanker truck in Northwestern Spain, on February 15, 2016. (AFP Photo)
Now, the VOA Learning English program Words and Their Stories.
Okay, who here has never made a mistake?
The answer is, of course, no one.
Mistakes are not just a fact of life, they are an important part of the learning process. However, regretting our mistakes day in and day out is not healthy. We need to learn from them and then move on.
But do not take my word for it. One of America’s most famous and influential writers and thinkers, Ralph Waldo Emerson, said it much better than I can.
Before we hear his famous statement, let’s talk about some words he used in it.
When Emerson says “blunders and absurdities,” he simply means mistakes. To do something filled with peaceful feelings is to do something “serenely.” However, to be “encumbered” is the opposite. This means to be heavy and loaded down with things. To Emerson, those “things” are past mistakes, or as he calls them “your old nonsense.”
Now, here’s Bryan Lynn reading Ralph Waldo Emerson’s famous quote.
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
To this day, many people use this quote to remind themselves not to dwell in the past. When we dwell on something, we think about it constantly. It becomes a distractionand keeps us from moving forward.
Now, this famous quote is useful, but it is a bit long. Perhaps you would rather use a shorter, food-related idiom to help you move on and forget your past mistakes.
In that case you can say, “Don’t cry over spilt milk.”
Well, you broke my heart (broke my heart),
When you said ‘goodbye’ (said goodbye)
But now the milk’s been spilt and you’re going to cry.
Early in the morning, you’re going to know that I was right...oh yeah...
When we “cry over spilt milk,” we are upset or sad about something bad we have done that cannot be undone. This is another way of saying, “What’s done is done. You cannot change the past. So stop thinking about it.” If you spill milk, you cannot gather it back up and put it back in the container.
We usually use the expression this way: “There's no use crying over spilled milk.” “Spilled” or “spilt” are both okay. Some say, this expression was first used in the mid-1600s in England. Back then, the expression was “no weeping for shed milk.”
If old quotes and food expressions are still not working for you, there are other ways to state this idea.
Let’s say past regrets continue to trouble your boss. You can use a word we heard earlier – dwell. You might tell your boss: “Don’t dwell on the past. You cannot change it, so why worry about it? You must move on and look toward the future.”
This is all very polite. And the word “dwell” works well here as it is somewhat formal. It’s good for a pep talk with your boss.
But what if one of your close friends is having the same kind of problem? What if this friend has been stuck in the past for far too long? They need a very different type of pep talk. It may be time for you to tell your friend, “Get over it!”
Now, this could sound rude. After all, it is a wake-up call, a warning to change for the better. And those can be hard for people to hear and accept. But if someone has been crying over spilt milk for months, or even years, a wake-up call is necessary.
And that’s the end of this Words and Their Stories. Until next time, I’m Anna Matteo.
You cry over spilled milk.
You keep your tears in a jar.
You think the world is going to end tomorrow.
Ain't it beautiful how different we are...
Anna Matteo wrote this story for VOA Learning English. Ashley Thompson was the editor. The song earlier in the show is Buddy Holly singing “Early in the Morning.” The song at the end is Boy George and Culture Club singing “Oil & Water.”
_____________________________________________________________
Words in This Story
regret – v. to feel sad or sorry about (something that you did or did not do)
quote – n. something that a person says or writes that is repeated or used by someone else in another piece of writing or a speech
distraction – n. an object that directs one's attention away from something else
idiom – n. an expression that cannot be understood from the meanings of its separate words but that has a separate meaning of its own
polite – adj. having or showing good manners or respect for other people : socially correct or proper
formal – adj. requiring proper clothing and manners
pep talk – n. a usually brief, intense, and emotional talk designed to influence or encourage someone
rude – adj. not having or showing concern or respect for the rights and feelings of other people : not polite
wake-up call – n. something that serves to alert a person to a problem, danger, or need
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号外：知名台湾作家林清玄去世，终年65岁
Born in 1953, Lin Qingxuan was a famous writer, essayist, poet and scholar who was honored with numerous prizes.
1953年出生的林清玄是一位著名作家、散文家、诗人和学者，曾获得多个文学奖项。
Lin Qingxuan, a Taiwan-born writer gaining popularity across the Straits, died at the age of 65, according to Taiwan media.
据台湾媒体报道，颇受两岸同胞喜爱的知名台湾作家林清玄去世，终年65岁。
On Jan 22, Lin made a final post on Sina Weibo, China's answer to Twitter. "I think the death of the sparrow gives me some inspiration," he said. "Although we live in a world with dust and restrictions, we should never loses the interntion and ability to fly."
2019年1月22日，林先生发布了生前最后一条微博，“在穿过林间的时候，我觉得麻雀的死亡给我一些启示，我们虽在尘网中生活，但永远不要失去想飞的心，不要忘记飞翔的姿势。”
来欣赏林先生的散文《常想一二,不思八九》,品味这位文学大师的生活智慧。
常想一二
Dwell on One or Two
作者：林清玄 | 译者：潘绍中（外交学院教授）
朋友买来纸笔砚台，请我题几个字挂在新居客厅墙壁上。我便在朋友面前展纸、磨墨，写了四个字：“常想一二”。
A friend of mine brought over a newly purchased set of paper, brush, ink-stick and ink-slab, and asked me to write something for the wall in the sitting room of this new house. I unfolded the paper, ground the ink-stick on the slab, and wrote out the words: “Dwell on one or two.”
朋友说：“这是什么意思？”我说：“俗话说‘人生不如意事十常八九，但扣除八九成的不如意，至少还有一二成是如意的、快乐的、欣慰的事情，我们如果要过快乐人生，就要常想那一二成好事，这样就会感到庆幸、懂得珍惜，不致被八九成的不如意所打倒了。”朋友听了，非常欢喜，抱着“常想一二”回家了。
“What does this mean?” asked my friend. “You know the popular saying,” I replied, “ ‘Life means frustrationeight or nine times out of ten’. Deducting the eighty or ninety per cent of frustration, you still have ten or twenty percent of success, happiness or gratification. If you want to enjoy life, you should focus on the one or two times you are happy, be thankful and cherish them. Then you’ll never be overwhelmed by the eight or nine times when you are unhappy. ” Happily my friend left, carrying the scroll in his arm.
几个月后，他来探视我，又来向我求字，说是：“每天在办公室里劳累受气，一回家之后看见那幅‘常想一二’就很开心，但是墙壁太大，字显得太小，你就再写几个字吧！”对于好朋友，我一向有求必应，于是为“常想一二”写下了“不思八九”，上面又写了“如意”的横批，中间随手画一幅写意的瓶花。没想到过了几个月，我再婚的消息披露报端，引起许多离奇的传说与流言的困扰，朋友有一天打电话来，说他正坐在客厅我写的字前面，他说“想不出什么话来安慰你，念你自己写的字给你听：常想一二、不思八九，事事如意。”接到朋友的电话使我很感动，我常常觉得在别人的喜庆中锦上添花容易，在别人的苦难里雪中送炭却很困难，那种比例，大约也就是八九与一二之比。不能雪中送炭的不是真朋友，当然更甭说那些落井下石的人了。
A few months later, he called on me again and asked for more calligraphy, “Every day I have to slave and suffer in the office. But as soon as I get home and see the words ‘Dwell on one or two’, I brighten up and feel happy. But they do look so small on that big wall, can you write a few more words for me?” As I am always ready to oblige my good friends, I wrote an antithetical couplet for him, adding the second part, “Forget about eight or nine” and the horizontal inscription, “As you wish”. To fill up the space in between, I did a free-hand drawing of a vase full of flowers. Then, a few months later, something quite unexpected happened when my remarriage was reported in the newspapers, giving rise to numerous strange tales and annoying rumors. My friend called me, saying that he was sitting in front of my inscription. “As I can’t think of better words to comfort you, let me read what you wrote: Dwell on one or two; Forget about eight or nine—Everything as you wish.” I was very moved by this. How easy it is to add to somebody’s joy, I often think, and how hard to lend a helping hand in times of distress, —the ratio would probably come to nine to one, too. But those who do not help you when you need it most are not true friends, much less those who hit you when you’re down.
不过，一个人到了四十岁后，在生活中大概都锻炼出宠辱不惊的本事，也不会在乎锦上添花、雪中送炭或落井下石了。那是因为我们已经历过生命的痛苦与挫折，也经验了许多情感的相逢与离散，慢慢地寻索出生命中积极的、快乐的、正向的理念，这种理念正是“常想一二”。“常想一二”的理念，乃是在重重乌云中寻觅一丝黎明的曙光，乃是在滚滚红尘中开启一些宁静的消息，乃是在濒临窒息时，有一次深长的呼吸。生命已经够苦了，如果我们把几十年的不如意事总和起来，一定会使我们举步维艰。生活与感情陷入苦境，有时是无可奈何的，但是如果连思想和心情都陷入苦境，那就是自讨苦吃，苦上加苦了。
Come to think of it, people over forty are mostly inured to the vicissitudes of life, caring little about receiving congratulations for success, getting help when in need, or being hit when down. For after experiencing so much anguish and frustration in life and going through so many sentimental meetings and partings, we have gradually found certain dynamic, happy, positive precepts in life, which may be summed up as “Dwell on one or two.” This means focusing on specks of light in the murky dark, gleaning bits of peace and quiet from the raucous, mundane world, or striving for refreshing breath on the verge of suffocation. Life is hard enough as it is; if we burden ourselves with all the frustrations built up over dozens of years, how can we go even one step further? At times, we can’t help it when we find ourselves in dire straits, materially or emotionally; but if we let that make us miserable in mind or mood, we would only be piling more hardship on ourselves and suffer twice as much through our own fault.
我从小喜欢阅读大人物的传记和回忆录，慢慢归纳出一个公式：凡是大人物都是受苦受难的，他们的生命几乎就是“人生不如意事十常八九”的真实证言，但他们在面对苦难时也能保持正向的思考，能“常想一二”，最后他们超越苦难，苦难便化成对生命中最肥沃的养料。使我深受感动的不是他们的苦难，因为苦难到处都有，使我感动的是：他们面对苦难的坚持、乐观与勇气。
I have been keen on reading biographies or memoirs of the great since childhood and found a kind of rule about their lives: all great people suffer. They mostly testify to the saying that life means frustration eight or nine times out of ten. Despite their sufferings, however, they can always maintain a positive way of thinking, or in other words, they can “dwell on one or two”, until they finally transcend their sufferings and turn them into great inspiration for life. What deeply moves me about great people is not their suffering, for sufferings are common and omnipresent; it is their perseverance, optimism and courage in the face of suffering that move me most.
原来如意或不如意，并不是决定于人生的际遇，而是取决于思想的瞬间。
So success or failure in life does not hinge on mere opportunities, but upon one’s frame of mind.