收到不喜欢的礼物怎么办

Question:

I am a 15-year-old girl with a problem that’s going to make me sound super-spoiled. I get excited for the holidays, especially (and selfishly) about the gifts I’m going to get. But every year, I end up bummed out. Like: “Really, Mom? A bracelet for a 10-year-old?” It happened again this year. I know the holidays aren’t about gifts, but I can’t help feeling as if the people who get me presents don’t even know me. Any advice?

我是个女孩，今年15岁，我的问题听起来会给人一种我被惯坏了的感觉。节日总是让我兴奋，特别是想到我会收到礼物（这个也有点自私）。但是每年我都会失望。比如：“不是吧，妈妈？给10岁的孩子送手镯？”今年也是这样。我知道节日的重点不是礼物，但我总觉得给我送礼物的人好像都不懂我。你有什么建议吗？

Answer:

Anonymous, Albany

匿名，奥尔巴尼

For one Christmas, we should all be 10-year-old gay boys, circa 1975: old enough to feel vaguely ashamed of being different — not that we should, but remember, this is 1975 — and no chance of telling our parents what we really want. (Hello, Easy-Bake Oven!) So we make up something that a “normal” boy may like, but we never wanted it. That pitiful cycle cured me of gift dissatisfaction for life. I never expect to like gifts; I’m only grateful for the giver’s effort.

在某个圣诞节，我们都该当一次10岁的同性恋男孩，而且是在大约1975年：在那个年纪，跟别人不同会让你模糊地感到羞愧——不是说我们应该那样，但是要知道那是1975年——我们没机会告诉父母我们真正想要的东西（嗨，简易烤箱！）。所以我们会编出一个“正常”男孩可能会喜欢的东西，但我们自己其实从未真的想要它。这个可怜的恶性循环让我一生都不会对礼物失望。我从不期望自己会喜欢礼物，只会感激赠予者的付出。

Try to tamp down your expectations, Sweetie. We all have mysterious hearts, even you — maybe especially you. It’s next to impossible for parents to keep up with quick-change teen tastes. Focus on your mom, instead: driving to the jewelry store and wandering the aisles, somehow walking out with a gift for a little girl. Doesn’t that make you feel better about her lousy bracelet? It should. If not, work hard in school. Then, when you’re a successful adult, you can buy the things you really want for yourself.

宝贝，尽量降低你的期待吧。我们的内心都很神秘，包括你，你的内心甚至可能尤为神秘。父母们几乎不可能把握青少年快速变化的喜好。把重点放在你妈妈身上吧：她开车到珠宝店，在柜台间徘徊，在这里给一个小女孩买了个礼物。这样想想，你对那个讨厌手镯的感觉是不是好了一点？应该会。如果没有，那你就努力学习。这样你长大后事业成功，就能买你真正想要的东西了。

来源：The New York Times

PHILIP GALANES 2015年1月6日