爱尔兰初中英语高分范文——《Lost and Found》

这是一篇在爱尔兰国家教学大纲和评估委员会官网上的学生作文范文《失而复得》，成绩为最高级优秀，文末附老师的评语。

《Lost and Found》

”Branches snapped underfoot as I made my way through the forest. The afternoon sun shone through gaps in the dense foliage. I struggled through the bushes to the tallest tree in the woods, from where I could see everything in the area.

I scampered up the tree with little difficulty; it was familiar and I’d climbed it many times before. Soon I was perched on the highest branch, scouting out the path back home. I could see my town on my right, the forest continued into oblivion on my left. Behind me, in the direction I had just come from, I could see my grandmother’s cottage. I was content. Everything was perfect, just as it always had been and always would be.

The first sign of danger came in the form of small tremors shaking the ground. I glanced down anxiously. Small earthquakes occurred regularly here in the Philippines; they were nothing to worry about, but every time I couldn’t help but wonder... I pushed the thought to back of my mind, but it became harder as a rumbling noise began in the distance, first quiet, then growing louder.

I looked back in the direction of the town. Everything seemed normal, but suddenly the ground shook violently, huge ripples forming in the earth. I clung to the trunk of my tree in terror as other trees fell like soldiers in battle. I felt as if I was in a giant snow globe from my uncle’s souvenir shop.

I stared at my town with disbelieving eyes. Shouts and screams carried across on the wind. Buildings started to crumble and fall, windows smashed and bricks turned to dust. I opened my mouth to scream, but I was paralysed with fear. Barely managing to hold onto the tree branch, I twisted around to look away. It was too horrific to watch; my own home was being ravaged. Sharp sticks and twigs dug into my back and black spots crept into my vision. The last thing I heard as everything went dark was a loud rumble from the quaking ground.

l woke to the setting sun glaring in my eyes. I could feel dread in the back of my mind and suddenly remembered everything, The screams, the dust, the tremors.

I sat in the tree for a while, feeling sad, angry, confused. Eventually, I clambered down the tree with shaking limbs. As I hit the forest floor with a thump, everything suddenly became real. Anger and confusion built inside me and I screamed, an earsplitting shriek that echoed throughout the forest. I lay down on the ground. There was no point in going back to my ruined town. Nobody could have survived an earthquake like that. I had no way of finding help, no way to survive. I might as well just lie down, give up. l wouldn’t last long no matter what I did. Everything I knew and loved was gone, destroyed in front of my eyes in the most brutal way possible. Nothing even mattered anymore and it never would.

A few hours later I felt a little better. I’d had a long time to think about my options, and had decided to try to make my way back towards the town, where there could be other survivors. Maybe my family were still alive.

My hometown was east of the woods, probably a few hours journey away. I packed up my small collection of belongings; my watch bought from the market in the town square, a blanket knitted by my grandmother and the packed lunch I had been planning to eat at the top of the tree. I had no appetite now. I then began the slow trek towards the east.

Fortunately, not many trees had fallen over in this part of the forest, so I was able to recognise the familiar territory. A lump formed in my throat when I thought about walking along this path as a young child, my parents close by my side, but I blinked away my tears and continued on my way.

After about 30 minutes, I emerged from the lush green forest into the open air. The clouds in the sky were pink-tinged with orange, and the sun was sinking below the horizon. I realised that it would be sensible to stop in the clearing for the night. I wrapped  my blanket around me and settled down on the ground for an agonising night of little

sleep and dark twisted nightmares, revealing my darkest fears.

I rose at dawn and watched the sunrise. It seemed strange that only the previous morning, everything had been normal; I had been at home with my family. Nothing would ever be the same, I thought bitterly.

After roughly an hour of tough walking, I came to a stream, spilling over with cool, clear, thirst-quenching water. I took a long, deep drink and moved on.

Finally, my town came into sight. I nearly collapsed to the ground. Safety was so close I could almost touch it.

As I got closer, I could see the full extent of the damage caused by the earthquake, things I couldn’t have seen from high up in my tree, far away from the destruction. Some buildings were completely wrecked, roofs had caved in and windows had shattered. I suddenly became afraid of what I might find when I arrived.

By the time I was standing on the main street, I still hadn’t seen any signs of life and was growing more and more anxious. What if nobody had survived? What if my friends and family had all been killed? Questions flew through my mind and I started to feel dizzy.

Eventually, I reached my old house. It was the same... yet different. The windows were broken and part of the wall had caved in. I thought of all the happy memories I'd had there; learning to ride a bike, baking bread with my father, knitting with my mother. Were those peaceful days gone forever?

I hesitated before knocking on the door. This was the moment when I found out whether my family were dead or alive. I crept silently into our tiny sitting room, praying that I wouldn’t see anything terrible. The small room basically consisted of some blankets and cushions spread across the dusty floor. I could see nothing out of the ordinary here, except for the extra mess and the thick layer of dust and debris covering everything.

I continued into the kitchen, almost hoping that I would find my mother in there, preparing dinner. She wasn’t, of course, but although there were no signs of life, at least there weren’t any of death.

I tried to check the rest of the house, but the roof had caved in and I couldn’t get through. I realised that if anyone had been in that area, they would have been killed. This struck many new fears into my mind, and I hurried back out into the street.

Scared now, I started to rush around the town, banging on all the doors frantically, shouting desperately for help. At last, after what seemed like an eternity, the door of the town hall swung open and I was confronted by a uniformed police officer. He was tall and had a bright blue uniform with a silver badge. He appeared to be foreign, probably British.

The officer looked down at me in surprise.

"What’s your name ?” he asked kindly in weak Filipino.

"Riza Cruz," I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"Where do you live?” he asked, a puzzled look on his face.

"Number twelve, Harebell Street,” I replied, and the tears I had been holding back since the disaster finally came, spilling down my cheeks and dropping onto the floor.

”But you were reported missing, presumed dead... The Cruz family were distraught to have lost their beloved daughter...” he said thoughtfully, almost to himself.

The police officer’s expression changed slowly from surprise to delight. For some unfathomable reason, he was now beaming broadly. I didn't really feel that this was an appropriate time to be happy, but who knew what went on in the authorities’ twisted minds? My uncle always said they were untrustworthy. I continued crying and the police officer looked awkward.

"No, no, it's OK, your family is safe!" he said hurriedly.

”They’re gone forever,“ I wailed, inconsolable. I had no idea what this stupid man was talking about. The wall had fallen and crushed them back in my house, it must have.

“Come and see for yourself," he replied.

He opened the door and ushered me inside. Inside the town hall, I could see crowds of people milling around and looking worried. All the survivors of the earthquake appeared to be living in the large room; there were sleeping bags and blankets littered across the stone floor. I looked around fearfully, wondering if my parents could actually be alive. Maybe they hadn’t been in the house when the wall collapsed?

My eyes scanned the room, and finally, I saw my mother’s pale, worried-looking face in the corner. I pushed and shoved through the crowd of people until I reached my parents.

They wrapped their arms around me and we all cried, sobbing into each other’s shoulders, reunited at last. The kind police officer who had escorted me in stood to one side, taking in this emotional scene. 1 even saw a tear roll down his cheek.

From that moment onwards, I knew everything was going to be all right. Our house and town were destroyed, we were homeless and even poorer than before, but we were alive and together, and that’s all that really mattered. The future would be tough and our lives would be changed forever, but I knew we could get through it. Once you’ve survived a deadly earthquake and found your family again, it becomes clear that anything is possible.

Anything can be lost, but everything can be found."

老师的评语：

”There is great variety in the use of language and it is always appropriate to the genre: staccato sentences, a colourful variety of verbs, sensual details, and questions.“（文章使用了丰富并且贴切体裁的语言运用，断断续续的句子，变化多样的动词，和富有感触的细节与问题。）

”These qualities, along with the narrator’s realistic thought process and a strong sense of place, make the text engaging for the reader and ensure that the story moves at a brisk pace. There is scope to make the dialogue more believable, but this is a minor flaw which is easily addressable by the student.“（这些品质，加上叙述者真实的思维过程和强烈的现场感，文字吸引了读者，故事进展轻快而流畅。依然有一定的提升空间使对话更加可信，但这是学生可以很容易地解决小缺陷。）

GoMappED名师在线英文课堂，由经验丰富的老师讲授中小学阅读写作课，深受家长和学生的喜爱，欢迎报名试听。

---

相关阅读：

————————————

网址：http://gomapped.com

邮件：[e-mail]

微信：18280276735

联系我们