TED演讲：解救孤独的最好方式
孤独是很多疾病的开端，甚至是死亡率增高的根本原因。Sophie Andrews结合自身经历，告诉大家：每一个孤单的人都需要被理解和倾听！最好的帮助方式，常常就是单纯的倾听。
演讲者：Sophie Andrews
The Silver Line的首席执行官，这是一条24小时的电话线路，为英国孤僻的老年人提供社交联系，每天大约要接听1500个电话
After cutting her arm with a broken glass, she fell into a fitful, exhausted sleep on the railway station platform. Early in the morning, when the station toilets were opened, she got painfully to her feet, and made her way over to them.
她在火车站站台上用一块碎玻璃划破手腕，然后陷入了断断续续，疲惫不堪的梦魇。清晨，当车站厕所对公众开放时，她拖着疼痛的双腿，走向厕所。
When she saw her reflection in the mirror, she started to cry. Her face was dirty and tearstained; her shirt was ripped and covered in blood. She looked as if she'd been on the streets for three months, not three days. She washed herself as best she could. Her arms and stomach were hurting badly.
她看着镜子中的自己，突然哭了起来。她的脸污浊不堪，满是泪痕；身上的衬衫破破烂烂，布满血迹。她看起来就像已经露宿街头三个月，而不是仅仅三天。她用尽全力把自己清洗干净，她的手臂和腹部都钻心地疼。
She tried to clean the wounds, but any pressure she applied just started the bleeding again. She needed stitches, but there was no way she would go to a hospital. They'd have sent her back home again. Back to him.
想清理伤口，可是伤口一经按压就会再次流血。她需要缝补伤口，但却没办法去医院。因为之前医院的人又把她送回了家，回到他的掌控之下。
She tightened her jacket -- well, fastened her jacket tightly to cover the blood. She looked back at herself in the mirror. She looked a little better than before but was past caring. There was only one thing she could think of doing. She came out of the station and into a phone box nearby.
她裹紧夹克——以便挡住斑斑血迹。她又重新看着镜子里的自己，她看起来正常了一些，但是这已经不重要了。她心里只想着一件事。她走出车站，走进了附近一个电话亭。
Woman: Samaritans, can I help you? Hello, Samaritans. Can I help you?
一个女士：这里是撒玛利亚会，有什么需要吗？你好，这里是撒玛利亚会，我能为您做些什么？
Girl: (Crying) I -- I don't know.
女孩：（哭泣）我——我不知道。
Woman: What's happened? You sound very upset.
女士：怎么了？你听起来很难过。
Woman: Why not start with your name? I'm Pam. What can I call you? Where are you speaking from? Are you safe?
女士：先告诉我你的名字好吗？我是 Pam，该怎么称呼你呢？你在哪里打电话？现在安全吗？
Girl: It's a phone box in London.
女孩：我在伦敦的一个电话亭里。
Pam: You sound very young. How old are you?
Pam：感觉你年纪很小，你多大了呀？
Girl: Fourteen.
女孩：十四岁。
Pam: And what's happened to make you so upset?
Pam：为什么这么难过呢？
Girl: I just want to die. Every day I wake up and wish I was dead. If he doesn't kill me, then, I think, I want to do it myself.
女孩：我只想去死，每天早上醒来都希望自己已经死了。我想，如果他没有杀了我，我就自杀。
Pam: I'm glad you called. Let's start at the beginning.
Pam：我很庆幸你能打电话来。现在跟我说说你的经历吧。
Sophie Andrews: Pam continued to gently ask the girl about herself. She didn't say much; there were lots of silences. But she knew she was there, and having Pam on the end of the phone felt so comforting. The 14-year-old that made that call was me. That was me in the phone box.
苏菲·安德鲁兹：Pam 继续温柔地询问有关小女孩的事情。女孩说的很少，很长时间都在沉默。但是 Pam 知道她还在，因为有 Pam 的聆听，她得到了安抚。我就是那个 14 岁的女孩，那个在电话亭打电话的女孩。
I was running away from home, sleeping rough on the streets in London. I was being sexually abused by my father and his friends. I was self-harming every day. I was suicidal. The first time I called Samaritans, I was 12 and absolutely desperate.
我从家里逃出来，睡在伦敦的街头。我的父亲和他的朋友对我实施了性虐待。自残自杀的念头整天缠绕着我。我第一次联系撒玛利亚会是 12 岁的时候。
It was a few months after my mother had deserted me, walked out and left me in the family home. And the abuse I was suffering at the hands of my father and his friends had left me a total wreck. I was running away, I was missing school, I was arriving drunk. I was without hope and wanted to die. And that's where Samaritans came in.
几个月前我的母亲抛弃了我，独自离开家，我感到无比绝望。我父亲和他朋友带给我的伤害将我彻底击垮。我逃出家门，想回到学校。我醉醺醺地到了学校，只剩下绝望，只想结束生命。这个时候撒玛利亚会出现了。
Samaritans has been around since 1953. It's a 24/7 confidential helpline in the UK for anyone who might be feeling desperate or suicidal. Which I certainly was. Volunteers answer the phone around the clock every day of the year, and calls are confidential.
撒玛利亚会在 1953 年左右成立，是英国一个全天候开放的机密服务热线，旨在帮助任何感到绝望或有自杀倾向的人，就像我曾经那样。每时每刻都会有志愿者接听电话，并且电话内容是对外保密的。
During my teenage years, when I was most desperate, Samaritans became my lifeline. They promised me total confidentiality. And that allowed me to trust them. Disturbing as they no doubt found my story, they never showed it. They were always there for me and listened without judgment.
青少年时期，每当我陷入极端的绝望，撒玛利亚会都会成为我活下去的支柱。他们向我保证，绝不会泄露对话内容，所以我愿意相信他们。他们无疑为我的遭遇感到担忧，但却没有表现出来，只是陪着我，聆听我，不做主观臆测。
Mostly, they gently encouraged me to get help; I never felt out of control with them -- an interesting parallel, as I felt so out of control in every other aspect of my life. It felt my self-harm was probably the only area where I felt I had any control.
他们总是鼓励我，让我去寻求帮助。和他们交流的时候，我从来没有失控过，然而相比之下，我生命的其他部分全都失控了。似乎只有自残才是我唯一可以掌控的东西。
A few years later, I managed to get some control in my life. And I had appropriate support around me to allow me to live with what had happened. I had become a survivor of abuse rather than a victim.
几年后，我开始能够控制我的生活。我从身边得到了一些支持，让我能放下过去，好好生活。我在虐待中生存下来，没有被摧毁。
And at 21, I contacted Samaritans again. This time because I wanted to become a volunteer. Wanted to pay something back to the organization that had really saved my life.
21岁的时候，我再一次联系了撒玛利亚会，因为我想成为一名志愿者，来回馈他们带给我的帮助，因为是撒玛利亚会拯救了我。
I knew that the simple act of listening in an empathetic way could have a profound effect. I knew that somebody listening to me without judgment would make the biggest difference.
我知道，感同身受地聆听他人虽然简单，却可以产生神奇的效果。我知道，剔除主观臆测的聆听将产生巨大的影响。
So I caught up with my education, found someone I could persuade to give me a job, and I enjoyed my volunteering at Samaritans. And when I say "enjoyed," it's an odd word to use, because no one would want to think of anyone being in absolute distress or pain.
所以我努力学习，接受教育，还找到了一份工作。我享受在撒玛利亚会做志愿者的时光。“享受”这个词用在这里似乎有些奇怪，因为没有人希望他人被困在无尽的悲惨和痛苦当中。
But I knew that that profound impact of that listening ear and someone being alongside me at that desperate time had the biggest impact, and I felt a great sense of fulfillment that I was able to help people as a Samaritan.
但是我知道，倾听有很大的帮助，那些曾经在我绝望之时，认真聆听我的人，对我来说最为重要，能够在撒玛利亚会帮助他人让我有一种深深的满足感。
In my years volunteering at Samaritans, I was asked to perform many roles. But I guess the peak came in 2008, when I was asked to chair the organization for three years.
在撒玛利亚会做志愿的岁月里，我扮演过许多角色。不过我想，高潮出现在 2008 年，当时我被任命为会长，为期三年。
So I had actually gone from that vulnerable caller in the phone box, desperate for help, to being the national lead for the organization and responsible for 22,000 volunteers. I actually used to joke at the time and say if you really screwed up as a caller, you might end up running the place.
我曾经作为一个急需帮助的可怜人在电话亭里打求助电话，现在，作为撒玛利亚会的全国领导者，我要为 22000 名志愿者负责。那个时候我常常跟他们开玩笑说，如果你曾经打过这里的求助电话，那你最终可能会成为这里的管理者。
Which I did. But I guess in a world which is dominated by professionalizing everything we do, I really understood that that simple act of listening could have such a life-changing effect. I guess it's a simple concept that can be applied across all areas of life.
就像我一样。但我想，尽管许多高深专业的工作主导着这个世界，简单的聆听却可以彻底改变生活。这是最简单的理念，可以应用到生活的方方面面。
So in the 1980s, when I called Samaritans, child abuse was a subject no one wanted to talk about. Victims were often blamed, victims were often judged. And it was a topic of shame, and no one really wanted to talk about it. Today, judgment and shame surround a different issue. There's a different stigma that's out there. And the stigma that's there today is to talk about loneliness.
在 20 世纪 80 年代，我向撒玛利亚会求助的时候，没有人愿意谈论虐童问题。受害者们常常被指责，被揣测。没人愿意谈论它，因为觉得那是奇耻大辱。今天，另一个问题也被臆测，被视为耻辱，那就是孤独。
Loneliness and isolation have profound health impacts. Being lonely can have a significant impact on your own well-being. Recent systematic review of research actually said that it increased the mortality rates, or premature death rates, by up to 30 percent.
孤独寂寞这种精神状态对健康影响很大，会严重影响精神健康。最近一项研究对此进行了系统的考察，证明孤独增加了死亡率，或者说导致死亡时间提前高达 30%。
It can lead to higher blood pressure, higher levels of depression, and actually aligned to mortality rates that might be more associated with alcohol abuse or smoking cigarettes. Loneliness is actually more harmful that smoking 15 cigarettes. A day. Not in your life, in your day.
孤独还能引发高血压，加重抑郁程度，因酗酒或吸烟导致的死亡机率也因此增加。相比一天吸 15 根烟——是每天，不是一辈子吸 15 根——孤独对人体的危害要大得多。
It's also associated with higher levels of dementia. So a recent study also found that lonely people are twice at risk of Alzheimer's disease. Of course, there's many people that live alone who are not lonely. But being a caregiver for a partner that maybe has dementia can be a very lonely place.
孤独还会引发严重的老年痴呆。最近一项研究还发现，感到孤独的人患阿尔兹海默症的机率是一般人的两倍。当然，很多一个人生活的人并不感到孤独，但是照顾可能患有痴呆症的人却是一项孤独的工作。
And a recent landmark study gave us a very good, clear definition of what loneliness is. And it said it's a subjective, unwelcome feeling of a lack or loss of companionship. And it happens when there's a mismatch between the quality and the quantity of relationships that we have and those that we want.
最近一项里程碑式的的研究对孤独进行了恰当、清晰的定义，这是一种由缺少或丧失陪伴引起的主观、消极的感受。当我们所拥有的人际关系与期望的人际关系在质量与数量上不匹配时，孤独就产生了。
Now in my life, the best help I've ever received has been from those personal connections and being listened to in an empathetic way. Professionals, and I'm conscious I'm speaking to a room of professionals, have a very important place.
在我的生命中，别人私下对我的关心，他人对我耐心的聆听，对我来说是最好的帮助。我知道在坐的各位都是专业人士，你们也扮演着重要的角色。
But for me, a volunteer giving up their time and listening to me without judgment in a confidential way, had such a huge, life-changing effect for me. And that was something that really stayed with me.
但是对我来说，那些志愿者愿意花时间愿意剔除臆测，保守秘密来倾听我的诉说，已经给我的生活带来天翻地覆的改变。这种改变始终陪伴着我。
So as you will have gathered, in my teenage years, I was off the rails, I was going every day wondering if I'd even live the next day. But that profound impact of the volunteer listening to me stayed with me.
大家都已经了解，在我的少年时期，我的生活脱离了轨道，每天都在想还要不要活下去，但是那位志愿者给我带来的影响始终陪伴着我。
When I finally got to a point in my life where I felt I could live with what had happened, I wanted to pay something back. And in my experience, people who have been helped in a transforming way always want to pay something back. So I started paying back by my 25 years volunteering with Samaritans.
终于，我的人生迎来了转折点，我可以放下过去，好好生活。所以我想要做出回馈。我知道，那些得到帮助从而获得改变的人们，也都想做些事情来帮助他人。所以我在撒玛利亚会做了 25 年志愿者，以此作为回报。
And then, in 2013, picking up on that whole issue and the new stigma of loneliness, I launched a new national helpline in the UK for older people, called The Silver Line, which is there to support lonely and isolated older people. In our short history, we've taken 1.5 million calls.
2013 年，我意识到孤独问题已经成为人们不愿启齿的遭遇，于是在英国发起了一条新的服务热线来帮助老年人，叫做“The Silver Line”，致力于帮助孤独寂寞的老年人。尽管成立的时间很短，但我们已经接听了 150 万个电话。
And I know we're having a big impact, based on the feedback we get every day. Some people might be calling up for a friendly chat, maybe some information about local services. Some might be calling because they're suicidal. Some might be calling up because they're reporting abuse.
我们每天都会获得反馈，我们的影响力在扩大。一些人打电话来，是想进行一场愉快的交流，或者询问当地的一些服务信息。还有些人打电话来，是因为他们有自杀倾向，或者想要举报虐待事件。
And some quite simply, as I was, may have simply just given up on life. I guess it's a really simple idea, setting up a helpline. And I look back to those early days when I had the lofty title, I still have, of chief exec, but in the early days, I was chief exec of myself. Which, I have to say, I had the best meetings ever in my career --
也有些人，像我曾经那样，想要放弃生命。开通一道热线，这是多么简单的一件事。我回想起早些时候，我还拥有首席执行官的崇高称号的时候，也同时是我自己的 CEO。这应该是我职业生涯中最棒的一次会议了——
as chief exec of myself. But things have moved on, and now in 2017, we have over 200 staff listening to older people every day of the year, 24/7. We also have over 3,000 volunteers making weekly friendship calls from their own home.
成为自己的 CEO。时光流转，现在已经是 2017 年，我们已经拥有超过 200 名接听老年人热线的员工，保证热线全天候工作。我们也拥有 3000 多名志愿者每周在家里接听热线。
We also, for people that like the written word, offer Silver Letters, and we write pen-pal letters to older people who still enjoy receiving a letter. And we also have introduced something called Silver Circles -- you notice I'm owning the word "silver" here -- put "silver" in front of it and it's ours.
我们也为喜欢写字的人提供写信的渠道，Sliver Letter，然后以笔友的身份给期望收到信件的老年人回信。我们还创立了Silver Circles——你会发现，我们所有活动名称前都有“Silver”这个词——这是我们的标志。
Silver Circles are group conference calls where people actually talk about shared interests. My favorite group is the music group, where people, every week, play musical instruments down the phone to each other. Not always the same tune at the same time.
Silver Circles 是一系列群体会谈形式的电话，人们可以在此谈论共同的爱好。我最喜欢的是音乐组，每周都有人演奏乐器，透过电话，互相演奏给对方听。不过有时候也会跑调。
But they do have fun. And "fun" is an interesting word, because I've talked very much about desperation, loneliness and isolation. But if you came to our helpline in the UK, you would also hear laughter.
但是他们真的很开心。“开心”这个词挺有趣，因为我之前谈论的都是绝望、孤独和寂寞。但是如果你拨打我们在英国的热线，就可以听到欢笑声。
Because at the Silver Line, we do want to cherish the wonderful lives of older people and all the experiences that they bring. So here's an example, just a snippet of one of our calls.
因为在 Silver Line，我们真切地希望留住老年人们精彩的生活，记住他们带来的经历。这里有一个例子，是我们其中一个热线电话的片段。
(Audio) Good morning, you're through to the Silver Line. My name's Alan, how can I help?
（音频）早上好，您拨打的是Silver Line。我是 Alan，我能为您做些什么呢？
Woman: Hello, Alan. Good morning.
女士：你好 Alan，早安。
Alan: Hello.
Alan：您好。
Woman: (Chipper) Hello!
女士：（语调欢快）你好呀！
Alan: Oh, how are you this morning?
Alan：您今天早上过的好吗？
Woman: I'm alright, thank you.
女士：挺好的，谢谢你。
Alan: I'm pleased to hear it.
ALan：很高兴听到您说一切都好。
Woman: What a wonderful thing the telephone is, you know?
女士：电话真是个好东西，对吧？
Alan: It's a remarkable invention, isn't it?
Alan：很伟大的发明，对不对？
Woman: I remember when I was a little girl, donkey's years ago, if you wanted to make a phone call to somebody, you had to go to a shop and use the telephone of the shop and pay the shop for using the telephone and have your phone call. So you didn't make phone calls just whenever you fancied.
女士：我记得，我还是个小女孩的时候，那是很久很久以前了，如果想要给别人打电话，必须要跑到商店里去，用商店里的电话，付了钱才能打。所以人们当时并不能随心所欲地打电话。
Alan: Oh, no.
Alan：真是遗憾。
Woman: Oh, sorry. Excuse me about that. You had to, you know, confine your phone calls to the absolute essentials. And now, here I am, sitting in my own home in my dressing gown still, and using the telephone, isn't it wonderful?
女士：抱歉。不好意思。当时，人们只有在最有必要的时候才能打电话。但是现在，我穿着睡袍，坐在自己家里打着电话，多棒呀！
Alan: It is.
Alan：是很棒！
SA: And that's not untypical of a call we might receive at our helpline. That's someone who really sees us as part of the family.
SA：我们接听的电话中，这样的情况并不少见。这些人真的把我们视为家人。
So Silver Line, I guess, are now helping older people in the same way that Samaritans has helped me. They're there 24/7, they're listening confidentially and quite often not giving any advice.
所以 Sliver Line 像撒玛利亚会帮助我一样帮助着老年人。接听人员每时每刻都在线，认真聆听，完全保密，一般不会提供任何建议。
How often do we really ever listen without giving advice? It's actually quite hard. Quite often on the phone calls, an older person would say, "Could you give me some advice, please?" And 20 minutes later, they say, "Thank you for your advice," and we realize we haven't given any.
我们有多久没有只是聆听而不提供建议了？这真的很难。我们经常会在电话上听到老年人说，“你能不能给我一些建议？” 20 分钟后，他们会说，“谢谢你的建议”。但其实我们根本没有提供任何建议。
We've listened and listened, and we haven't interrupted. But to that person, maybe we have given advice. We recently conducted a survey at The Silver Line to 3,000 older people, to ask them what they thought of the service.
我们一直在接听，从未打断来访者，但是或许对于那个人来说，我们的确提供了建议。最近，我们对 The Silver Line 进行了一项反馈调查，询问 3000 名老人对这一热线服务的看法。
And one person quite simply came back and said, for the first time in her life, she had what we would call in the sport cricket a wicketkeeper, and what you would call in baseball, a catcher. I've been here 48 hours, and I'm talking American. They will not recognize me when I get home.
其中有一个人说，她播打这个热线以后，人生第一次开始扮演一名板球守门员的角色，或者你们说的棒球捕手那样，我来这儿才两天，说话就带有美国范儿了，等我回到英国，他们肯定都认不出我来了。
But for the first time in her life, she had that catcher, which is really, really important.
但是人生中第一次当这样的“捕手”，对她来说真的很重要。
And now it's come full circle, because actually, people that are calling Silver Line and needing a catcher are now becoming catchers themselves by putting something back and becoming volunteers and becoming part of our family.
如今 Sliver Line 成了一条完整的专线，给热线致电以寻求帮助的人越来越多，他们同样做出了相应的回馈，如今也开始帮助他人，他们以志愿者的身份，加入了我们的大家庭。
So I end my talk, really, where I started, talking about my own personal experience. Because when I talk about my life, I often say that I've been lucky. And people generally ask me why.
就如演讲开始那样，我也想用自己的经历结束这个演讲。每次我谈论起自己的生活，都倍感幸运。人们就会问为什么会感到幸运。
And it's because, at every stage of my life, I have been lucky enough to have someone alongside me at the right time who maybe has believed in me, which in turn has helped me just to believe a little bit more in myself, which has been so important. And everyone needs a catcher at some point in their lives.
这是因为，在我人生的每个阶段，在关键时刻总有贵人相助，他们信任我。这种信任转而帮助我更加相信我自己，这真的非常重要。每个人的生命中都要有一个“捕手”。
This is my catcher. So that's Pam. And she answered the call to me when I was that 14-year-old in the phone box, over 30 years ago. So never, ever underestimate the power of a simple human connection. Because it can be and so often is the power to save a life.
那么 Pam 就是我的“捕手”。她在 30 多年前，我 14 岁的时候接听了我拨打的电话。所以千万不要低估人与人之间简单的交流，因为它会转化为挽救生命的力量。
Thank you.
谢谢大家
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