TED演讲：性格的迷思，你究竟是谁?

许多人觉得自己性格早已定型，很难更改。然而心理学家Brian Little 研究发现，自我判断的“内向”“外向”往往过于简单，甚至是错误的。人类的性格复杂多变，不能简单概括。

他相信，人拥有可变性格，不应该被性格标签限制，真正定义一个人的，不是性格特质，而是他生命中最看重的那些事物。

所以不要再纠结自己的性格，把时间精力更多地放在对你人生重要的人和事上吧！

演讲者：Brian Little

人格和动机心理学家，剑桥大学教授，Brian分析并重新定义了我们的个性，并提出了改变我们自己的方法

TED视频TED演讲稿

What an intriguing group of individuals you are ... to a psychologist. I've had the opportunity over the last couple of days of listening in on some of your conversations and watching you interact with each other.

你们是多么有趣的一群人啊…… 当然，是对心理学家而言。在过去几天里，我有机会倾听你们的交谈，观察你们的互动。

And I think it's fair to say, already, that there are 47 people in this audience, at this moment, displaying psychological symptoms I would like to discuss today.

我想我已经可以大胆地说，此时此刻，在你们中间，有47个人，已经表现出了精神病症状，我今天就想聊聊这个。

And I thought you might like to know who you are.

我想你们都很想知道到底是谁有精神病。

But instead of pointing at you, which would be gratuitous and intrusive, I thought I would tell you a few facts and stories, in which you may catch a glimpse of yourself.

我不会直接指出来，因为那样很没必要，也不礼貌，我会列举一些事实和情况，你们可以跟自己对照一下。

I'm in the field of research known as personality psychology, which is part of a larger personality science which spans the full spectrum, from neurons to narratives. 

我从事的是人格心理学研究，它属于人格科学的范畴。人格科学的研究领域跨度很大，从神经元到叙述学。

And what we try to do, in our own way, is to make sense of how each of us — each of you — is, in certain respects, like all other people, like some other people and like no other person.

而我们的研究方向，是用我们的方式，来弄清楚，为什么我们每一个人——在座的每一位—— 在某些方面，跟其他所有人都一样，或者只跟部分人一样，或者跟谁都不一样。

Now, already you may be saying of yourself, "I'm not intriguing. I am the 46th most boring person in the Western Hemisphere." Or you may say of yourself, "I am intriguing, even if I am regarded by most people as a great, thundering twit."

也许你们会评价自己 “我不是个有趣的人。我在西半球最无趣排行榜上排第46名。” 也许你会评价自己，“我是个有趣的人，尽管大部分人都觉得我是个傻瓜。”

But it is your self-diagnosed boringness and your inherent "twitiness" that makes me, as a psychologist, really fascinated by you. So let me explain why this is so.

但正是你们这种自我认知的无聊或者内在的“傻”，让我这个心理学家觉得非常有趣。我来解释一下为什么。

One of the most influential approaches in personality science is known as trait psychology, and it aligns you along five dimensions which are normally distributed, and that describe universally held aspects of difference between people. They spell out the acronym OCEAN. So, "O" stands for "open to experience," versus those who are more closed.

人格心理学中最有影响力的方法，叫做特质理论，它用5个正态分布的维度判定你，这5个维度描述了被广泛认同的人与人之间不同的5个方面。这5个方面的首字母缩写是OCEAN。“O”代表“开放性”，与之对立的是 那些不愿冒险的人。

"C" stands for "conscientiousness," in contrast to those with a more lackadaisical approach to life. "E" — "extroversion," in contrast to more introverted people. "A" — "agreeable individuals," in contrast to those decidedly not agreeable. And "N" — "neurotic individuals," in contrast to those who are more stable.

“C”代表的是“责任感”，与之相反的是那些懒散随意的人。“E”指的是“外向性”，与之相对的是内向的人。“A”——“宜人性” 与之相对的是不那么和善的人。最后是“N”—— “神经质” 与之相对的是那些更加稳定平和的人。

All of these dimensions have implications for our well-being, for how our life goes. 

这5个方面影响我们的健康，影响我们的人生走向。

And so we know that, for example, openness and conscientiousness are very good predictors of life success, but the open people achieve that success through being audacious and, occasionally, odd. The conscientious people achieve it through sticking to deadlines, to persevering, as well as having some passion.

众所周知，开放性和责任感往往意味着成功，但开放的人在通往成功之路上变得大胆，有时甚至古怪。有责任感的人会紧守最后期限，获得成功，他们坚持不懈，他们怀有激情。

Extroversion and agreeableness are both conducive to working well with people. Extroverts, for example, I find intriguing. With my classes, I sometimes give them a basic fact that might be revealing with respect to their personality: I tell them that it is virtually impossible for adults to lick the outside of their own elbow.

外向性和宜人性都有助于与人和谐相处。比如，外向的人，我就觉得很有趣。在课堂上，我有时会讲一个基本事实能揭示人的性格特点：我说，一个成年人无法舔到他们的手肘外侧。

Did you know that? Already, some of you have tried to lick the outside of your own elbow. But extroverts amongst you are probably those who have not only tried, but they have successfully licked the elbow of the person sitting next to them.

你们知道这事吗？你们中有些人已经尝试过舔自己的手肘外侧了。但你们中那些外向的人不但已经尝试过（舔自己的手肘）而且连坐他们旁边的人的手肘也没有放过。

Those are the extroverts.

这就是外向的人。

Let me deal in a bit more detail with extroversion, because it's consequential and it's intriguing, and it helps us understand what I call our three natures. 

让我再讨论一下外向性格的一些细节，因为它影响深远而且很有意思，能帮我们理解人类的三种天性。

First, our biogenic nature — our neurophysiology. Second, our sociogenic or second nature, which has to do with the cultural and social aspects of our lives. And third, what makes you individually you — idiosyncratic — what I call your "idiogenic" nature.

第一种是生物学天性——我们的神经生理学。第二种是社会学天性，又叫第二天性，与我们的文化和社会属性相关。而第三种，让你成为独一无二的“你” 我称之为场景特定天性。

Let me explain. One of the things that characterizes extroverts is they need stimulation. And that stimulation can be achieved by finding things that are exciting: loud noises, parties and social events here at TED — you see the extroverts forming a magnetic core. They all gather together. And I've seen you.

下面我来解释一下。外向性格的人的一大特征就是他们需要刺激。这种刺激可以是令人兴奋的事：比如巨大的声响、热闹的聚会和TED这样的社交事件——你会发现外向者会形成 一个磁性的内核。他们会聚集到一起。所以我才会在这里遇见你们。

The introverts are more likely to spend time in the quiet spaces up on the second floor, where they are able to reduce stimulation — and may be misconstrued as being antisocial, but you're not necessarily antisocial. It may be that you simply realize that you do better when you have a chance to lower that level of stimulation.

而内向的人更喜欢上到二楼找个安静的地方待着，以减少外界刺激——这样做可能会被误认为不喜欢社交，但其实这并不绝对。也许你只是单纯地知道自己在外界刺激较低的时候状态更好。

Sometimes it's an internal stimulant, from your body. Caffeine, for example, works much better with extroverts than it does introverts. When extroverts come into the office at nine o'clock in the morning and say, "I really need a cup of coffee," they're not kidding — they really do.

这也包括内在刺激，来自你的体内。比如说，咖啡因有时候对外向的人比内向的人更有效。当外向者早上9点走进办公室，说，“我需要一杯咖啡。” 他们没开玩笑——他们是真需要。

Introverts do not do as well, particularly if the tasks they're engaged in — and they've had some coffee — if those tasks are speeded, and if they're quantitative, introverts may give the appearance of not being particularly quantitative. But it's a mis construal.

内向者就不会这么做，尤其是当他们正在干的活儿——而且他们已经喝过咖啡了—— 如果这些活儿很急，而且有量化标准，内向者会表现得好像这些活儿没有特别的量化标准。但这是一种误导。

So here are the consequences that are really quite intriguing: we're not always what seem to be, and that takes me to my next point. I should say, before getting to this, something about sexual intercourse, although I may not have time. And so, if you would like me to — yes, you would? OK.

因此我们能得出一些非常有趣的结论：我们经常会表里不一，这就引出了我下一个观点。我事先声明，我要说的，是关于做爱的事情，但我的时间可能不太够。所以，如果你们想让我说的话——什么？你们很想听？好吧。

There are studies done on the frequency with which individuals engage in the conjugal act, as broken down by male, female; introvert, extrovert. So I ask you: How many times per minute — oh, I'm sorry, that was a rat study —

有人做过，关于人做爱频率的研究，分类标准有男性、女性、内向者、外向者。我想问大家：每分钟做多少次——哦，对不起，每分钟多少次说的是老鼠——

How many times per month do introverted men engage in the act? 3.0. Extroverted men? More or less? Yes, more. 5.5 — almost twice as much. Introverted women: 3.1. Extroverted women? Frankly, speaking as an introverted male, which I will explain later — they are heroic. 7.5. They not only handle all the male extroverts, they pick up a few introverts as well.

内向的男性每个月有多少次性行为？3.0次。外向的男性呢？更多还是更少？没错，更多。5.5次，差不多是2倍。内向的女性：3.1次。外向的女性呢？老实说，作为一个内向的男性 ——关于这一点我稍后会解释——我觉得她们太厉害了。7.5次。她们不但搞定了所有外向的男人， 还顺便挑了几个内向的。

We communicate differently, extroverts and introverts. Extroverts, when they interact, want to have lots of social encounter punctuated by closeness. They'd like to stand close for comfortable communication. 

外向者和内向者的交流方式有所不同。外向者在与人互动时，喜欢肢体接触，喜欢亲近对方。他们喜欢靠近对方，近距离交流。

They like to have a lot of eye contact, or mutual gaze. We found in some research that they use more diminutive terms when they meet somebody. So when an extrovert meets a Charles, it rapidly becomes "Charlie," and then "Chuck," and then "Chuckles Baby."

他们喜欢眼神接触，甚至相互凝视。有研究表明外向者更喜欢使用昵称。比如当一个外向者遇见一个叫查尔斯的人，很快就会开始叫他“查理”，然后变成“查克”，然后变成“小查查”。

Whereas for introverts, it remains "Charles," until he's given a pass to be more intimate by the person he's talking to. We speak differently. Extroverts prefer black-and-white, concrete, simple language. 

而内向者呢， 会一直叫他“查理”，直到对方认为他俩的关系已经足够亲密。外向者和内向者的说话方式也不同。外向者喜欢确定、具体、简洁的语言。

Introverts prefer — and I must again tell you that I am as extreme an introvert as you could possibly imagine — we speak differently. We prefer contextually complex, contingent, weasel-word sentences —

而内向者喜欢——我必须再次提醒大家，我是一个十足的内向者——我们说话方式很不一样。我们内向者更喜欢说一些复杂难懂，模棱两可，云山雾罩的话——

More or less.

或多或少吧。

As it were.

基本是这样。

Not to put too fine a point upon it — like that.

不把话说死—— 就像刚才那样。

When we talk, we sometimes talk past each other. I had a consulting contract I shared with a colleague who’s as different from me as two people can possibly be. First, his name is Tom. Mine isn't.

我们在说话的时候，经常会打太极，推来推去。我跟一名同事共同负责一项咨询业务，我跟他是截然不同的两个人。首先，他叫汤姆。我不叫汤姆。

Secondly, he's six foot five. I have a tendency not to be.

其次，他身高1米96。我这辈子是不指望了。

And thirdly, he's as extroverted a person as you could find. I am seriously introverted. I overload so much, I can't even have a cup of coffee after three in the afternoon and expect to sleep in the evening.

第三点，他是个及其外向的人。而我十分内向。我心思很重，我要是下午三点之后喝了杯咖啡，那晚上就别想睡了。

We had seconded to this project a fellow called Michael. And Michael almost brought the project to a crashing halt. So the person who seconded him asked Tom and me, "What do you make of Michael?" Well, I'll tell you what Tom said in a minute. He spoke in classic "extrovert-ese." 

我们还有一个助手，叫麦克。麦克几乎把整个项目给搞砸了。麦克的继任者问我和汤姆，“你们怎么评价麦克？” 我稍后再告诉你汤姆是怎么说的。他的回答是非常典型的外向型。

And here is how extroverted ears heard what I said, which is actually pretty accurate. I said, "Well Michael does have a tendency at times of behaving in a way that some of us might see as perhaps more assertive than is normally called for."

而我的回答嘛，其实在外向者听来，应该是非常精确的。我说，“其实，麦克有时候的一些做法，在我们某些人看来也许过于自信了，可能有时候有点过分。”

Tom rolled his eyes and he said, "Brian, that's what I said: he's an asshole!"

汤姆翻了个白眼，说， “布莱恩，这不就是我刚刚说的：他就是个混蛋！”

Now, as an introvert, I might gently allude to certain "assholic" qualities in this man's behavior, but I'm not going to lunge for the a-word.

作为一名内向者，我也许会委婉地暗示，这个人的行为确实比较混蛋，但我不会直接使用“混蛋”这个词。

But the extrovert says, "If he walks like one, if he talks like one, I call him one." And we go past each other.

但外向者会说，“如果他表现得像个混蛋，我就会称他混蛋。” 这就是我们的不同。

Now is this something that we should be heedful of? Of course. It's important that we know this. Is that all we are? Are we just a bunch of traits? No, we're not. Remember, you're like some other people and like no other person. How about that idiosyncratic you?

这一点我们是不是需要留意呢？那是当然。这一点非常重要。但这就完了吗？我们就只有这几种特点吗？并非如此。别忘了，你们跟一些人很像但又独一无二。这个独一无二的你 到底是什么样的呢？

As Elizabeth or as George, you may share your extroversion or your neuroticism. But are there some distinctively Elizabethan features of your behavior, or Georgian of yours, that make us understand you better than just a bunch of traits? That make us love you? Not just because you're a certain type of person.

伊丽莎白们或者乔治们，你们可能都有些外向或者神经过敏。但你们的行为中是不是有些伊丽莎白独有的或者乔治独有的特点，能让我们更好地了解你？而不是简单地对号入座？能让我们喜欢上你？不仅仅因为你是某种特定类型的人。

I'm uncomfortable putting people in pigeonholes. I don't even think pigeons belong in pigeonholes. So what is it that makes us different? It's the doings that we have in our life — the personal projects. 

我不喜欢把人放进鸽子笼里，然后贴上标签。我甚至觉得鸽子都不应该待在鸽子笼里。究竟是什么让我们与众不同呢？是我们一生的所作所为——我们的个人事业。

You have a personal project right now, but nobody may know it here. It relates to your kid — you've been back three times to the hospital, and they still don't know what's wrong. Or it could be your mom.

你们大家都有个人事业，但可能谁都没有意识到。也许这事业跟孩子有关——你已经去医院三趟了，医生们还是查不出你孩子的病因。或者生病的是你母亲。

And you'd been acting out of character. These are free traits. You're very agreeable, but you act disagreeably in order to break down those barriers of administrative torpor in the hospital, to get something for your mom or your child.

你会做一些跟你的性格不相符的事情。这些是可变的性格特点。你本和善可亲，却表现得咄咄逼人，只为了对抗如今医院里无处不在的懒散风气，让自己的母亲或者孩子得到及时治疗。

What are these free traits? They're where we enact a script in order to advance a core project in our lives. And they are what matters. Don't ask people what type you are; ask them, "What are your core projects in your life?" And we enact those free traits. I'm an introvert, but I have a core project, which is to profess.

这些可变的性格特点到底是什么？那是我们演的一出戏，为了达成我们生命中最重要的目标。而这才是最重要的。不要问别人是什么性格的人，而要问他们，“你们生命中最重要的事是什么？” 然后我们身上的可变性格特点就会被激发。

I'm a professor. And I adore my students, and I adore my field. And I can't wait to tell them about what's new, what's exciting, what I can't wait to tell them about. 

我是一个内向的人，但我最重要的事业是教书。我是一名教授。我热爱我的学生，也热爱我的事业领域。我总是迫不及待地想 与他们分享， 那些新奇有趣的事情。

And so I act in an extroverted way, because at eight in the morning, the students need a little bit of humor, a little bit of engagement to keep them going in arduous days of study.

因此我会表现得像一个外向的人， 因为早上8点， 学生需要一点幽默， 需要一点激励， 才能熬过一天紧张的学习。

But we need to be very careful when we act protractedly out of character. Sometimes we may find that we don't take care of ourselves. I find, for example, after a period of pseudo-extroverted behavior, I need to repair somewhere on my own. 

但是当我们扮演其他性格的时候 需要万分小心。（因为）有时候我们对自己太狠。我发现自己在假装外向性格一段时间之后，我需要自己躲起来疗伤。

As Susan Cain said in her "Quiet" book, in a chapter that featured the strange Canadian professor who was teaching at the time at Harvard, I sometimes go to the men's room to escape the slings and arrows of outrageous extroverts.

就像苏珊•凯恩在《安静》这本书中所写，其中一章提到一位古怪的加拿大教授，当时他在哈佛大学教书，他有时候会跑到男厕所，为了躲避烦人的外向者投来的明枪暗箭。

I remember one particular day when I was retired to a cubicle, trying to avoid overstimulation. And a real extrovert came in beside me — not right in my cubicle, but in the next cubicle over — and I could hear various evacuatory noises, which we hate — even our own, that's why we flush during as well as after.

有一次我自己也躲进了小隔间，为了暂避外界纷扰。这时来了一个外向者，到我旁边，——当然不是在一个小隔间是在我旁边的小隔间——我听见了一连串物体落水的声音，这声音是很烦人的——哪怕是我们自己的，所以我们才会在上大号的中途也冲水。

And then I heard this gravelly voice saying, "Hey, is that Dr. Little?"

随后我就听到了一个沙哑的声音，“嘿，请问是利特尔博士吗？”

If anything is guaranteed to constipate an introvert for six months, it's talking on the john. That's where I'm going now. Don't follow me.

如果有什么事情能让内向者便秘6个月，那一定是在上大号的时候聊天。我现在就想去洗手间静静。别跟着我。

Thank you.

谢谢！

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